Under Five

Chapter 3-1

Chapter 3

Carmen snapped her fingers, and I quickly entered this realm once again.

“You really need to work on this whole zoning out thing. You were gone for quite a while.”

“Sorry, I just realized something.”

Carmen leaned from her chair with interest. “Really? Do tell.”

“It’s nothing. Just something stupid.” I didn’t want to discuss this with her. I know I have mentioned that we talked about everything, I didn’t think she needed to know my d**k size. Or my lack of d**k size, whatever you want to call it. But naturally my sister wouldn’t let this one go.

“Tell me before I get you into one of those sleeper holds that I used to when we were kids.”

“If you do, you won’t find out what happened.” Realizing I was right, Carmen got up and started twisting my arm. She was pretty strong; probably from all those years of playing volleyball and throwing shot put. She also knew I wouldn’t fight back, so she pressed on further.

“Tell me before I snap it off,” she warned.

“Okay, okay. I give. Sit down again and I’ll spill it.”

Carmen did as she was told and returned to her seat. She also placed her chin on her hand, signaling for me to continue.

I took a deep breath and started spilling my guts. “Okay, so have you ever been with a guy who was under five?”

“Under five what?” a puzzled Carmen asked.

“Don’t make me explain, you know what I mean?” I narrowed my eyes a bit, hoping she would get my drift.

“Under five,” she mumbled over and over for a bit before finally getting the train to the station. “Oh, under five. Yes, of course.”

“And was it a big deal?” I asked.

Carmen began to speak but stopped.

“Never mind, that says it all.” I said.

“No wait,” Carmen began. “Do you mean you actually measured yours?”

“Don’t try to change the subject, but no, I didn’t. I looked for a ruler but couldn’t find one.”

“And not even before this? Because how would you know you’re under five if you haven’t measured?”

“I honestly never thought about doing it. And the number is from the research I’ve done. Most sites say that the average is 5-6 inches, so I am going with less than that.”

Carmen got up and put her hand on my shoulder. I knew she was trying to comfort me, but it felt a bit strange considering the conversation. “Well, we could always go to the dollar store and get one.”

“We are not going to the dollar store to buy a ruler. Anyways, it really won’t help. I mean, I never thought about my size. I knew that some guys were bigger, but there were also guys who were smaller. I just figured I was somewhere in between.”

I tried to look her in the eye but instead pulled away. “I really don’t want to say what I am feeling right now. Besides, can you honestly tell me that women don’t think about stuff like that?”

Carmen was silent for a long, long time. “You know you are speaking volumes without saying anything, right?” I asked her, my face firmly planted in my hands, so much that my words were muffled.

“What was that?” Carmen asked, finally coming back into the conversation.

I lifted my head back up so she could hear me. “Never mind, just forget it. Maybe we should change the subject before we completely obliterate our boundaries.”

Carmen suddenly got one of those looks on her face, the kind that meant she had an idea that she figured would solve everything. Those are the looks that would scare me because her ideas tended to be out there.

“I have a thought,” she said as her eyes popped out wildly from her head.

“Whatever it is, I’m not interested.”

“Fine, then we’ll just have to talk about it some more.”

Dang it, she always knew how to get to me. I took a deep breath and quietly agreed to whatever plan my sister had brewing inside that wacky mind.