Chapter 19..

1582 Words
John David Alonzo pov's Halos gusto kunang ipagtatapon ang mga gamit na nakikita ko sa paligid nang mga sandaling iyon or should I say gusto ko nang magwala,sa nakita kong posisyon nila kuya and Arabel. F*CK! Arabel was on top of him!Hindi ko mapigilan but damn! halos gusto kunang sumugod kay kuya when I saw how he kissed Arabel. Sobrang nakakapanginig nang laman At halos nabibiyak ang puso ko,seeing them kissing each other. This is f*CK!!na ang babaeng pinakamamahal ko,ay hinahalikan nang iba, worst..it was my brother! I was having a hard time trying to please myself to calm down madaming pagkakataon na akong nagpaubaya at nagpanggap na I don't care about her!! that I don't care anymore!But the truth is it killed me inside kapag nakikita ko itong lumuluha nang dahil sa akin! F*CK but I made my choice! And that's let ourselves hurting each other! Halos madurog ang puso ko,when Arabel down on her knees to me and asking me, what was wrong,kung bakit ko siya niloko. Damn! that was the hardest thing I've ever done sa buong buhay ko!Ang iwasan at saktan ang pinakamamahal ko!Alam kong nasasaktan ko siya nang sobra,But F*CK !mas triple ang sakit na nararamdaman ko, whenever I saw her crying!miserable and waisted! Nang dahil sa akin! Mahal na mahal ko si Arabel at hindi ko kayang makita siyang may kasamang iba para akong pinapatay,Pero paanu? Panu kung ang isa sa pinakaimportanteng tao sa buhay mo ay may taning na? And all he needs is to have the woman that you love? Kakayanin mo bang magsawalang bahala nalang? At uunahain ang pansariling kaligyahan?Can you just ignored everything and go on with your life na kahit alam mong may magagawa ka para tulungan mo ang taong may taning na ang buhay! I just remembered that night.. We were so happy...we made love...and we promised each other na kahit anung mangyari,walang bibitaw..Dahil sa gabing yun,we planned that we were gonna tell them the truth...handa na kaming harapin lahat. But, unexpected things happened. Sa paglabas ko,nang kwarto ni Arabel nang gabing yun.Agad akong nagmamadaling bumalik sa kwarto ko,it's kinda dark in the hallway that time,dahil tulog pa ang lahat.But ganun nalang ang pagkagulat ko when someone turning the light's on. Agad akong natigilan at tinignan ko kung sino ang nag nagbukas nang ilaw. " M-mom" gulat na wika ko. " Can we talk?" walang emosyon na sabi nito at agad naman akong napatango sa kanya at sinundan ko ito sa library. That time I thought that was the right time na din para sabihin kuna sa kanya ang tungkol sa amin ni Arabel. I was really thought na magiging okay na ang lahat sa amin ni Arabel na finally masasabi kuna kay mommy about us na kahit magalit pa ito ay wala na akong pakialam pa. But I was wrong! " Did I tell you,not to touched her? huh David?" mom asked me full of anger. " Mom...I'm sorry..but...but I love her...mom I love Arabel...please just let me with her." I said. Napatitig lang ito sa akin at parang diko mabasa ang Ibig nitong sabihin. " David....you have to stop...kelangan mong putulin ang kung anu man ang meron kayo ni Arabella!" Ang mauturidad na sabi ni mommy na agad akong napataas nang boses. " What? No mom!! no! ipagawa muna lahat sa akin wag lang ang layuan si Arabel!I can't mom...I'm sorry!" I said. " Do what I say,David..or else...- " I cut her off " or else ..what,mom? huh? are you gonna dump me? at itatakwil mo ako? then be it mom!! I can take all the risk!But not to give her up?" I said at tinalikuran ko na ito at akmang bubuksan kuna sana ang pinto palabas ng narinig kong magsalitang muli si mommy. " You don't understand David! I know this is really hard for you! but please....I'm begging you son... please do this for your brother! " Mom cried na agad naman nagpanting ang tainga ko sa narinig ko,so its for him,kaya gusto ni mommy layuan ko si Arabel? Mas lalo lang akong nainis at agad kong hinarap muli si mommy. " So this is all about him na naman?again mom?why you always takes a side for him? bakit siya palagi ang pinapaboran mo? why should I'll be the one to sacrifice,huh mom?? Yes I am a hardheaded son,but I never disappointed on you mom..even dad...Ngayon lang ako nagmahal nang ganito,but you will gonna asked me to stop?? just because of him?? Damn!! you're being unfair mom!!! " Hindi kuna napigilan ang emosyon ko na kanina kopa, pinipigilang ilabas. At kitang kita ko ang paghagulhul nang mommy ko ngayon hindi ko maintindihan why she was being too emotional and too much affected on this... " I'm sorry anak..if you felt that way..I am so sorry son but your kuya....your kuya needs us son... Kailangan niya tayo ngayon and I am expecting you to understand....please.." she cried at hindi ko lubos maintindihan kung anu ba ang mga sinasabi ni mommy sa akin ngayon.. Why I had this feeling that there was something wrong..bakit parang may hindi ako alam? " W-what do you mean mom? what about him? why should I understand him? please explain it to me mom! I want to understand too,why you're being unfair to me!" I said na punong puno nang sakit. " David.... You're kuya...Sean is dying..."mahinang wika ni mommy,but F*CK! parang nabinge ako sa salitang narinig ko mula sa kanya..Halos hindi maiprocess iyon sa utak ko,kung bakit at panu magiging ganun si kuya..I mean .he's young...and physically his healthy. " What?? is this some kind of a joke mom or this is one of your trick just to stay away from Arabel? Kasi kung uo!! still it's a no mom!! I won't let go of Arabel!" matigas kung sabi dito because I can't believe what she just said...it's impossible! Agad itong huminahon at inabot sa akin ang Isang brown envelope tinignan ko ito as she gave it to me at nakaramdam na ako nang kakaibang kaba...but still matigas pa din ang titig ko sa mommy ko. " opened it . And see it for yourself at ikaw na ang bahala magdesisyon David....Your kuya is still young..I know.. wala na tayong magagawa.He's gonna leave us soon...but David..i- i don't want that very soon happen...I want him to live longer David.....and it's all up to you...your smart guy..I know you do understand what I mean.." mom said,habang tuloy tuloy ang mga luhang dumadaloy sa pisnge nito. I opened that envelope and F*CK! halos hindi ko maigalaw ang mga kamay ko,seeing those papers...mga results iyon nang biopsy,MRI,at lahat nang findings nang doctor...it's a 3rd stage of lukemia. Naiiyak na ako sa mga nabasa ko nung mga sandaling yun habang nakayap ang mommy sa akin,halos pinagsakluban ako nang langit at lupa sa lahat nang nalalaman ko sa mga sandaling yun. This is really for real!! I'm sorry kuya...I didn't know na ganito na pala ang karamdman niya. " Mom..how did this happened?bakit hindi ko alam to?"Ang emosyonal kong tanong sa mommy ko. " He was diagnosed as a cancer patient..5 years ago...but..the doctor said...na hindi na daw dapat mag aalala..dahil wala na daw ang cancer...hindi na namin pinaalam sayo,Kasi we thought okay na ang lahat...but not this time... kamakailan lang pinacheck ulit siya nang father mo sa Espanya..and there..." mom cut her words at muli na naman tong humagulhol.. Niyakap ko ito...So This is the reason why he's with us now? kaya pala..biglaan ang pag uwe niya dito sa Pilipinas...now it made sense. Hindi ko mapigilang magalit,dahil sobra kaming pinaglaruan nang tadhana..Sobrang sakit malaman na ang tanging karamay ko sa lahat ng kalokohan ko ay may taning na pala ang buhay.. At higit sa lahat..napakalaking desisyon ang kailangan kong isakripisyo. How can I give up my happiness? panu ko lalayuan si Arabel? panu ko gagawing balewain ito at hayaan nalang sa mga kamay ni kuya? Masakit ..it's burdened inside..but I have to do it..I want my brother to live longer...Gusto kong madagdagan pa ang buhay nito..and If Arabel could make him live longer..I am willing to sacrifice kahit deep down inside ay para na akong pinapatay. Kinabukasan ay mahirap mang gawin..pero kinakailangan kong magbalat kayo.I have to neglect Arabel again and made myself back to an old Version of me. Hindi ko siya inantay at pumasok ako ng maaga,para hindi ko ito makita and kahit Isang text I never did...bagay na alam kong lubos niyang ipinagtataka. Nang pumasok ako sa classroom...kitang kita ko ang ngite ni Lianne sa labi niya,she is a new student here in our school,well I can see pasok na pasok siya sa mga taste ko sa isang babae..but not this time..my heart belongs to someone else.. But this girl, masyadong halatang sobrang patay na patay sa akin..kaya I grabbed this opportunity para mapaniwala kong wala na akong pakialam kay arabel...this gonna be so hard...but I have to do this...for kuya.. Nang makita kong papasok na si Arabel sa classroom ay agad akong humarap kay Lianne at binigyan ko ito nang halik at gustong gusto naman niya iyon.I even move my hands under her skirt at sakto lang para makita iyon ni Arabel. Pero F*CK halos hiniwa ang puso ko nang nakita ko ang mga mata niyang naluluhang tinitignan ako,at bigla pa itong natumba ..mabute nalang tlaga at nandun si Sandoval para alalayan ito. I'm sorry Arabel...this is just a temporary....alang alang Kay kuya... kailangan ko itong Gawin..soon you will understand...
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