Make me fall in love

Ben's Concern

**Day 7**

Jennifer's POV:

It's Sunday afternoon, if you're wondering what has happened, here's for you to catch up: On Friday after the party, we talked on the phone for hours, I asked if I could pick him up around 5am, it took quite a bit of convincing but she accepted, I took him to a place where they make the best pancakes ever, we had breakfast, he took me to the cinema, we went to the zoo and we had lunch out, I took him to an arcade where he won almost everything. And then we came home late at night. Today, Sunday, we've been laying in my bed, not really moving.

Here's something that happened that I should probably mention since it isn't something I ever do: Richard and I... CUDDLED. I don't know how he did it but he made me do it, I mean he didn't make me but he snuggled against me and I don't know why but my arms kind of felt like they had their own mind and decided to wrap themselves around Richard's waist. Hm, it was a strange sensation not quite sure if I disliked it or not.  I mean it's warm but nice warm, it's... new and I feel safe. So, I could cuddle all day long with him. Stupid, I know, but whatever.

We're still in bed. It might be night by now.I haven't even checked my phone. We aren't talking, we are just looking into each other's eyes. I swear, never in my life have I feel so jittery inside and at the same time a little bit insecure. No one has ever looked at me the way Richard is looking at me right now. No one has ever looked at me this close for so long without even blinking the eye. I can see him so close, I mean at his face... His little nose freckles, his slightly grown beard. His eyes.

"I never noticed how attractive your eyes were." I told him. His eyes are so captivating, I couldn't look away. "You've got pretty eyes, Richard Wallace."

"Is that really you?" he asked me and some weird unrecognisable emotion flashed in his eyes but I couldn't recognise it, I couldn't tell what it was but it caused my heart beat faster , it made my stomach flip in a good way? "Is this the you that has been hidden? You're so... different. This whole thing is so different to what we are. I just— I don't know."

"I'm me with you, the best I can be." I tell him after a few seconds, I don't know why I can't keep the words inside me, I just want him to know... "Normally, I'd always have to pretend, pretend to be another person, pretend that I care, pretend I'm having a good time, pretend all day long except when I'm with my friends and Ben and now... Well, I don't feel the need to pretend with you. I don't— I sometimes get confused, you know? Sometimes I don't know if I like this life because I've convinced myself to like it or if I actually enjoy the life I'm living. I... I always saw everything from another place, like I was behind a glass and everyone was at the other side, I was watching but never really involved. It was like I could hear them but as if I was underwater, I could see them but from behind my glass. I shut everybody out and put myself away. It was this way with everyone except with my friends, Ben and sometimes my parents and Kevin and now... I don't understand how but your voice is getting clearer and clearer as each day goes by. I—"

I didn't get to finish because Richard straddled me and attacked my lips with his. It's not that I'm complaining but I was in the middle of, you know.., opening up to her and all that stuff. Without hesitating, I placed my hands on his thighs, oh wow, my belly was going crazy! And my heart, God my heart, can someone have a heart attack because they're making out? I am about to have a heart attack.

Richard doesn't have the body of a super model, he's lean but he has a little fat like everybody and I  honestly don't care, he's sexy to me, he's. I can't believe I'm going to say this but f**k it, he's perfect the way he is, he has nothing to feel insecure about. he's not perfect and I don't want him to be, that's not why I'm with him. Fair enough, I have no idea why I'm with Richard but I'm pretty sure that his appearance has nothing to do with it, actually, if it was because of appearance, I would have probably gone for someone, I don't know... a little more. my type? Yes, I know, I'm a shallow b***h, I can't say that I'm not when I am or was, or was pretending to be? I don't even know anymore.

But with Richard.I swear it isn't about the appearance.

Things are getting pretty heated and for the first time in my life, I was getting nervous before s*x, I tried to push it away and when he was about to slide his hands under my t-shirt , my door opened wide followed by a gasp.

Richard quickly sat up still on top of me, his cheeks are as red as a tomato. I turn towards the door with duck-lips, my hands on Richard's thighs, I just got interrupted. And at the entrance of my room stood my dearest cousin with his mouth hung open. I laughed as I placed my hand behind my head and rested in the middle of my queen size bed with Richard still sitting on me. The two friends looked at each other while I was just laying there enjoying the awkwardness between the two of them.

"Babe, I— s**t, f**k, holy goodness." Maria, Ben's girlfriend said as she walked in,she too was speechless. Ha, and then they say my facial expressions are funny, they should see their own faces...

"How's your grandma, Maria?" I asked smiling, trying to make things a little less awkward.

"Erm, she's... she's doing a little better.." She replied trying to look away from us, "Last week was her last chemo session. Hopefully."

"Great! I hope she gets better, I've heard nothing but good things about Dr. Marquez, he's her doctor right?" I asked, she nodded, Richard shook her head looking at me strangely. "What?"

"This is so awkward." Richard and Ben said at the same time.

"I'm making dinner, please come out." Ben said turning around and dragging Maria with him, "Come out now!!" he shouted from the kitchen, I sighed.

"Well, this is going to be an interesting rest of month." I smiled ignoring the strange feeling I got thinking about the end of the month. Richard's eyes met mine as he slowly nodded, if I didn't know better, I'd say there was something nostalgic in her eyes.

Am I making progress? Is he falling for me? Does he like me now? I mean he always says she doesn't but... Am I doing something to make him love me?

"Three weeks." he said with a serious face, I nodded feeling my chest get heavy.

What was really the point of this bet? I really don't know anymore... A part of me wants to break his heart, show him how wrong he was, make him pay for all those words she threw at me.., but another part of me, no matter how hard I try to ignore it I can't keep doing it... Another part of me wants to forget the bet, wants to be with Richard. I don't know how this mess I've got myself into is going to end.

"So, I see you two idiots are actually going through with this..." Ben says breaking the silence, we've been sitting at the kitchen island eating for about 15 minutes, we're slow eaters. "I don't understand why you'd do this? What do you get from this? Do you even like each other? I left and neither of you even tolerated the other and now you're making out?" He lashed out.

"I don't want to be rude but I don't think it's any of your business, to be honest." I said frowning at my cousin, I understand he doesn't like this but this is between Richard and me, he doesn't get a say in it.

"It's not my business?" he asked annoyed, Maria looked at him and sighed but kept eating. "You're my cousin, he's one of my best friends, we live together... What's gonna happen when you break up? You two are going to be worst than you were before, or one of you will end up hurt. This is stupid."

"I'm pretty sure we're both responsible adults, we both know that this will have consequences and we will be ready to face whatever the outcome is. I think we're mature enough to deal with a break up." I tell him as calm as I can be.

"I just don't understand why you would do this?" he asked once again, I could see it really frustrated him a lot not knowing why we'd do this .

"Benny.." Maria said in one of those tones girlfriends use when they really trying to say 'drop it, babe'.

"That's the thing Ben ki, I'm sorry but this is not for you to understand, I'm with her, she's with me, that's it, for however long it last." I smile at Richard and he barely nods. Ben shakes her head.

"What about Hannah?" Ben looks over at Richard, not giving up. At the mention of Richard's girlfriend or ex? My whole body tenses. "Richard you've always said how you've wanted to be with one person only and how you didn't like players but here you are with Jennifer?"

"Well, that does it." Wow... I get up annoyed and slightly jealous and mad because Richard didn't answer the question, he just looked at his plate with sad puppy eyes and avoided looking at me."It is nice to know that my cousin, the one who told me to get a proper boyfriend, doesn't think I'm good enough for his best friend. Thanks for the dinner, but I've lost my appetite, I'm going to bed."

It was pretty clear in my tone that I wanted to be alone. I got inside my room and turned the music on, headed to my bathroom and had a quick shower. I laid in bed listening to music, trying to make myself fall asleep.  I don't now if I'm angry at Ben  or at Richard.

Richard didn't even tried to defend me? I mean ever since we made it official, I've done nothing but defend him when Dimitri talked s**t about him but here we are, in our living room/kitchen and his best friend / my cousin is saying that I am a player and was practically trying to find sense to our 'relationship', yet Richard did nothing. he sat there not even looking at Ben or away from his plate. I don't know what I expected to be honest, this is a bet to him, just because I'm doubting my feelings, it doesn't mean he's doubting his..

I am trying to put a name to my feelings towards Richard when a light knock on my door brought me back from my thoughts.

"I'm sleeping." I said as the door cracked open, Ben closed it behind him and walked towards my bed, he sat next to me and began to caress my hair out of my face.

"You know I love you and I think you deserve the whole world." he began,  his words made my chest tighten and I had to bite my lip to focus on something else other than me wanting to cry. I'm so emotional lately...

"I think you deserve someone who will love you and only you, not someone who is waiting for another person or settling with you because he can't be with that other person. I want you to be happy, I want you to be with someone who will make you forget every single bad thing that has happened. But Richard? Are you sure? I love Richard but I've known him for very long, I've seen Richard with Hannah, I've heard him talk about Hannah like she was his one and only, you don't forget a love like that in two days, Jen. Believe me, more than anyone, I want you to be with someone who will keep you happy. But this thing you've done with Richard? This bet? What is the point ,Jen? Its like you're purposely setting yourself up for getting your heart broken—"

"Calm down Benjamin, it's not like I'm going to get my heart broken, it's not that deep..." I interrupted him, almost laughing.

"Really, Jen?" He looked at me like he could see right through my lie. I looked away. "I'm not an i***t, I know you, Jennifer, I've been with you my whole life, I've lived with you for all these years... You think I don't see the way you look at him? You think I didn't know how you preferred to insult him and mock him just so he could notice you, just so you could talk to him because you prefer that than to face your feelings, you always avoid your feelings. I'm not an i***t, Jen. Besides, you think I left for a few days and I didn't get any gossip? My friends told me everything, with detail.., all from what they've told me, it seems like you're the one making the effort to make him fall for you and we both know why you're not interested in him doing anything to make you fall for him."

"I don't know what you talking about." I sighed and before he could say anything else I spoke again, "Ben, we gotta wake up early tomorrow so..."

"Night, night, little cousin." he sighed giving up, mocking me as he walked back to the door.

"Only two months younger!" I shouted at hom throwing a cushion at the closing door.