Creating A Luna

Eleven

Aren:

    The dark always makes things easier for me. Dressed in the all black leather outfit that I always use to sneak into places unseen, I got to Shane's office balcony. I can feel him inside. I can smell how weak he is from the lack of food and sleep. I pushed the door open and hid behind his empty desk. The sound of water running in the shower took some of the edge off. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself so I wouldn't blurt out anything that could make this any worse. It was really easy to get in here. I'm going to have to do something about that.

    Aren are you here? Lambie asked through our link. I can feel you close by.

    I'm in Shane's office. I admitted.

    Did he let you in? Gary asked.

    No, he's in the shower. His mother and two guards are outside his door.

    Dude, props. No one gets passed that woman. She's crazy Marie finally joined the conversation. I sat at Shane's desk with a smile. I can feel the woman outside the door. 

    Do you really think he'll forgive me? I asked to whoever would answer.

    Yes. Three voices rang in my head making me smile.

    Don't get carried away. Be nice and most importantly leave your wolf out of this. Cali is f*****g temperamental. Gary said. The water was shut off.

    Gotta go. I said shutting them all out. Cali kind of agreed with them. 

    Shane walked out of his office with nothing, but a towel wrapped around his waist. I have never been the kind of girl that drooled over men or fantasized about them, but the images being tossed around in my mind should be illegal. I should get arrested under some kind of s****l harassment law.

    I shook my head trying to clear it and loudly unzipped my leather jacket. At least I think it's loud. Shane growled and jumped into an attack position dropping his towel on the floor. I didn't know what to do or how to act. When he realized it was me he stood up straight giving me the full view of his junk. Which by the way hung there menacingly enormous. I cleared my throat to keep me from laughing because let's face it. What else can I do? 

    He must have seen my eyes nearly pop out of their sockets because he covered up and crouched down feeling around the floor for his towel. I turned around covering my mouth trying so hard not to laugh at this awkward reunion. Don't laugh. Don't laugh I began to chant. 

    "What are you doing here? How did you get in here?" He rushed out breathlessly. I took a deep breath and forced myself to go into the alpha mode to keep my laughing from making me giggle like a lovestruck high school girl.

    "Is it safe to turn around?" I asked my voice serious and steady.

    He cleared his throat. God, I'm such a girl. I never had this problem with anyone else. I spun the chair back to see him pulling up a pair of red basketball shorts over some boxers. Next came the shirt. I swear it was like everything began to slow down as he pulled the black v neck over his thick muscled arms, covering his perfectly chiseled six-pack. I blinked away. Why the hell I'm perving my mate? My wolf bouncing around in me encouraging my sick thoughts.

    "What are you doing here, Aren?" he asked again.

    "I came in through the balcony. I know my way around here pretty well. It was easy to get passed your fighters and your mom," I said. "You should do more runs at the far east side of your territory,"

    "That's how you got passed everyone?" he asked crossing his arms. He doesn't really look like he cares.

    "Just because there's nothing over there doesn't mean people don't know about it," he nodded and seemed to think it over.

    "Thanks is that all?" he asked rudely.

    "Shane I came to... I... I came to apologize," I sort of murmured the word apologize. 

    What the hell is wrong with me? Why is this so damned hard? Maybe because I've never had to say sorry for being myself. I've never answered to anyone and it's killing me to know I have to answer to him now even when it goes against everything I stand for.

    "You came to what?" he asked taking the seat across from me on the visiting side of his desk. This is wrong he shouldn't sit on that side he's the alpha. 

    "I came to apologize," I finally said and cleared my throat.

    "For what?" he snorted. "For telling me the truth? For letting me know how truly pathetic I am?"

    "Shane..." I started to say, but I couldn't continue when tears slid down his face. I stood up pushing the chair backward and quickly rushed to his side cursing myself for doing this to him. What kind if f*****g animal am I to do this to my mate? He looked away ashamed. "Look at me,"

    "No. You shouldn't want me to. I'm not worth your time Aren. Leave," the sincerity in his voice made me stand up. 

    I put my knee next to him and climbed up on top of him bringing my other knee up to straddle him. He looked down at my body, but not at me. So, I made him look up at me guiding his eyes to mine until his eyes met mine. One thing I've always been good at is showing people their worth. It's what makes all of this feel good. The killing, the music. I like knowing that others feel better about who they are because of me.

    "Don't you ever say that," I said. "What I said, I said out of anger. No one has ever challenged me like you did. Cali and I have never allowed it. I said those things to hurt you because you wounded my overprotective f****d up ego,"

    "It doesn't change the fact that it's true. No matter what was the reason behind what you said, it's the truth. Everything I have is because you handed it to me. I saw the opportunity and I took it. I tracked the rogue Ry for years looking for what his next move was going to be so that I could put things in order,"

    "That doesn't make you unworthy, Shane. If there's anyone who's unworthy is me. I did hand you everything only because I didn't have the leadership or courage to do what you do. You kept all these people safe and stable. You gave them a home.

    "Yes, I took them out of the s**t hole they were in, but it was you who gave them a reason to be wolves. It's you who they love and respect. You are their alpha. You have given them more than I ever could. That's why I chose you. Out of all of the alphas I came across, you stood out more than they did and I never even had to see your face to know that you were the one worthy to have all of this,"

    "If I wanted it I should have taken it for myself," he growled and attempted to get me off of him. I didn't let him. I gripped the back of the seat tightly keeping myself in place still meeting the challenge in his eyes.

    "If you would have taken it you would have looked like a power hungry ass hole. Your people wouldn't have followed you as they do now. Shane, you're better than me. You have a kind heart. You are the leader your people deserve to have. I am nothing, but a murdering rogue. Most wolves want me dead because of all the lives I destroyed,"

    I stood up and turned away from him finally realizing I shouldn't have come here. He would have eventually left this room on his own. He would have gotten back up that's why I had chosen him. He's headstrong.

    Here I am admitting to him and to myself what I really am. I've never been an alpha. I've only brought death and destruction to every place I set foot on starting with this place. The place my parents died in because I could never listen.

    Saying everything out loud feels a lot like I took a dagger and plunged it into my chest. It ached because this isn't what I was raised to be. I had done all of this because I was angry. Everything infuriated me to no end. I wanted to feel better but saying it out loud just made it worse. The anger is directed at the one thing I've come to love above else. Me.

Shane:

    Seeing her here hurts. The one person that was born to be mine is the one person who was born to set my demise. Everything had always seemed so easy. Packs bowed to me left and right. I fought for what I thought were my people only to find out she was setting them up for me. She played with their lives like she was their god and I her obedient pawn. The amount of effort and power it takes to do something like that is beyond me and she did it alone hiding behind those eyes who teeter between being innocent and insanely corrupted.

    Yet everything that came out of her mouth now was starting to make me realize why she and I were matched. She grew up in her own self-hatred telling herself that she was meant to free those who needed to be free, imprisoning herself to a life she thought was worth living as long as everyone, but herself was happy. Me, on the other hand, I grew up being told I was worth everything I have and much more. I told myself that I am the leader worth leading all of these wolves.

    Seeing all that pain in her eyes broke my heart. All that she has had to see and experience trapped in the harshness of who she is and those sad pain filled eyes fought for who she once was. A little girl who lost her parents because she wanted to protect her brothers and sister. A responsibility that was supposed to be on the shoulders of her father was laid down on hers. She gladly took it and carried it with pride and made it look easy.

    "You're not a rogue, Aren," I finally said standing up while she gave her back to me. "You're an Alpha. Protecting those who need to be protected. It's what we do,"

    "Not the way I did it. I ran from my responsibilities and left you to deal with the messes I created,"

    "Now you're here determined to make all of this right," I whispered against her neck. The way she shuttered made me feel like all of this was worth saving. 

    "Yeah, well... I came back so your mother can get her hands on me and your dad can tell her how cool I am, while you get something to eat," her comeback made me laugh. Of course, she would turn this into some kind of joke.

    "So I'm forgiven?" I asked. She laughed. "What?"

    "Shane I told you off and crushed your ego just because you were worried something would have happened to me and your beta. Then I left for two nights, was in some guy's territory spying on your devious uncle who plans on attacking you, the most powerful alpha in America and me, an international killer rogue that has seventeen dangerous wolf packs to names who I can't even fully pronounce after her and you're the one apologizing," We're going to have to work on her manners.

    Looking at her now gave me a totally new perspective from the girl that stood on that stage lost in her music. This girl is a fighter, a leader, a girl, but most importantly she's without a doubt my mate.

    "I forgive you," I said. She smiled.

    "I forgive you for thinking Ry was a guy. Sexist, I'm also letting your mom have this," she laughed excitedly as she went to the door and opened it.

    The moment my mother laid eyes on Aren, she shifted and lunged herself at her. Aren braced herself with a huge grin on her face. When my mother's wolf's body hit Aren's she let out a thrilled giggle.

    "Go get something to eat Shane," she said in between laughs holding my mother's head keeping her from actually biting down.