Lose Me Again

Into the Unknown

Chapter Ten

Into the Unknown

(Esha’s POV)

I stood in front of the mirror, adjusting the hem of my dress for what felt like the hundredth time. My fingers trembled slightly, betraying the nervousness simmering in my chest. I took a deep breath, staring at my reflection.

I looked fine. More than fine, actually. The soft emerald green of my dress complimented my skin, and my dark hair fell over my shoulders in loose waves. I’d even taken the time to put on a little more makeup than usual—just enough to give myself that extra boost of confidence. Tonight, I needed to look—and feel—my best.

Why are you so nervous? I scolded myself silently. It’s just a party. You’ve been to parties before.

But this wasn’t just any party. It was the first real party I was going to since starting university, the first time I’d agreed to go out with a guy. A guy who wasn’t just a random face in the crowd, but Victor—a friendly, easygoing guy from my literature class who had been nothing but sweet to me since the semester began.

Victor had asked me earlier today, catching me off guard as we left class. He’d smiled in that disarming way of his and asked if I wanted to go to Nick’s party with him. At first, I’d hesitated—parties weren’t really my thing, and I hadn’t come to university to get caught up in dating. I had enough on my plate trying to navigate this new life away from my father’s suffocating control, the constant security, and the stifling expectations that had followed me since I was a kid.

But then something inside me had shifted. This was why I came to university, wasn’t it? To have experiences, to step out of the shadows my father had cast over my life and live for myself. Back home, I could never have gone to a party like this without half a dozen security guards and a driver keeping track of my every move. Here, I was free. No one knew my family’s name; no one cared who my father was or how wealthy he might be. I could just be Esha.

And Victor was sweet. He wasn’t pushy or arrogant. He wasn’t… Andy.

My hands clenched involuntarily, and I pushed down the unexpected pang that shot through me at the thought of him. I hadn’t seen Andy much over the past few days, and I told myself that was a good thing. Whatever weird connection or simmering tension existed between us, it was nothing but trouble. Andy was trouble. He was the enemy. We fought every time we were together, and I couldn’t afford to get caught up in that.

Victor, on the other hand, was safe. He was charming, attentive, and interested in me in a way that felt easy. He didn’t make my heart race or my temper flare, but maybe that was exactly what I needed right now.

Stop thinking about Andy, I ordered myself firmly. You’re going to have fun tonight. Forget about him.

My phone buzzed on the dresser, breaking through my thoughts. It was a message from Cassandra.

Cassandra: We’re waiting downstairs! You ready?

I grabbed my clutch, took one last look in the mirror, and sent a quick reply.

Esha: On my way!

- - -

By the time we arrived, the party was already in full swing. Nick’s place was packed, music thumping through the speakers as people crowded the house and spilled out into the backyard. The air was thick with the smell of alcohol and excitement—the kind of electric atmosphere that seemed to hum with possibilities.

Cassandra, Sophie, Trisha, Maya, and I made our way inside, weaving through the crowd toward the kitchen where the drinks were being served. My stomach fluttered with nerves, but I forced myself to focus on the moment. I was here to have fun, to enjoy myself for once, without overthinking everything.

“You look great, Esha,” Cassandra said as we poured ourselves drinks. “Victor’s going to lose it when he sees you.”

I managed a smile, though the nerves still gnawed at me. “Thanks. I hope so.”

Maya grinned, nudging me playfully. “You’ll be fine. Victor’s a good guy. Besides, you deserve to let loose a little.”

I took a sip of my drink, feeling the warmth of the alcohol spread through me as we moved toward the makeshift dance floor in the living room. The music was loud, the beat infectious, and for a moment, I let myself get caught up in it. I danced with my friends, laughing as we spun around to the rhythm, feeling the tension in my shoulders begin to melt away. It felt good to let go, to lose myself in the movement and noise.

But even as I danced, my thoughts kept wandering back to Victor. I scanned the room, wondering when he would show up. Part of me was still nervous—what if it didn’t go well? What if I’d made a mistake agreeing to come with him? And then there was that annoying voice in the back of my mind, the one that kept reminding me of the unresolved tension between Andy and me.

Focus on tonight. Focus on Victor.

Cassandra grabbed my hand, pulling me back into the moment. “Come on! This is supposed to be fun!”

I laughed and let myself get pulled into the dance again, spinning around with my friends as the music pounded through the room. For a while, I managed to push everything else aside, focusing on the present, on the fun I was supposed to be having.

And then, finally, I saw him. Victor.

He was making his way through the crowd, smiling as he caught sight of me. He looked good—casual but put together, with his tousled dark hair and easygoing smile. There was something comforting about his presence, something that made me feel a little more at ease.

“Hey,” Victor said as he approached, his voice warm and familiar. “Sorry I’m late. Got caught up in a study session.”

I smiled, feeling some of my nerves ease. “It’s fine. Glad you made it.”

His eyes swept over me, his smile widening. “You look amazing, by the way.”

A slight blush crept up my cheeks. “Thanks.”

We stood there for a moment, just smiling at each other, before he gestured toward the kitchen. “Want to grab another drink?”

“Sure,” I replied, following him as we made our way through the crowd. My heart was still beating a little too fast, but this time, it wasn’t from nerves. It was from the realization that I was actually doing this—going to a party, having fun, and letting myself be noticed by someone who wasn’t Andy.

This is what you wanted, I reminded myself. This is what you came here for.

As we reached the kitchen, I took another sip of my drink, trying to settle my racing thoughts. Victor was kind, attentive, and everything about this should have felt right. But no matter how much I tried to focus on him, a familiar pang of uncertainty crept in. My mind drifted back to Andy again—how he made me feel so many conflicting things all at once, how he pushed my buttons in ways no one else did.

Stop it, I told myself firmly. Tonight isn’t about him.

Victor handed me another drink, and I smiled, trying to push thoughts of Andy out of my mind for good. But deep down, I knew it wasn’t going to be that easy. Not when he had such a hold on me, whether I liked it or not.

“Let’s head back to the dance floor,” Victor suggested, his voice warm as he smiled down at me.

I nodded, letting him lead me back into the crowd. I’m going to enjoy tonight, I told myself. I’m going to forget about everything else—Andy, my father, the mess of emotions that seem to swirl around me.

For tonight, I was just going to be Esha. No complications. No worries.

Just… Esha.