Lose Me Again

Chapter One First Day (Esha’s POV) The grand entrance of the University of Edinburgh loomed ahead of me, its Victorian façade rising like an imposing guardian of stone and history. I stood at the foot of it, heart hammering, caught somewhere between excitement and anxiety. I adjusted the strap of my leather satchel over my shoulder, its familiar weight grounding me in this new reality. The late summer air was cool against my skin, crisp and fresh—a sharp reminder that I was far from the bustle of London. I pulled out my phone and glanced at the home screen, where a notification from my father lit up. “Everything settled? Call me when you have time. Busy week ahead.” No “good luck” or “I’m proud of you.” Just business as usual. I locked the screen without responding and shoved the phone back into my pocket. That was the nature of my relationship with him: distant, functional, and cold. He ran a successful business empire, and though we lived under the same roof, it felt like he existed in a completely different world—a world where his daughters were mere afterthoughts. My older sister, Amara, had always tried to be the perfect daughter, constantly vying for his attention, desperate to please him with her flawless grades, impeccable manners, and meticulously planned future. But no matter how hard she tried, he never really saw her—or any of us. I, on the other hand, had long since given up on the notion of winning his approval. Unlike Amara, I refused to bend myself into something I wasn’t just to fit into his narrow expectations. I took a deep breath, straightening my shoulders. ‘This is your life now’, I reminded myself. ‘Your chance to do things your way.’ Coming to Edinburgh had been my decision—a break from everything familiar, a fresh start in a city that was both foreign and yet not too far from home. Stepping through the stone gates, I let my eyes wander over the sprawling quad. Students were scattered across the lawn, some lounging on the grass, others hurrying to their classes, their laughter and conversations forming a constant hum in the background. For a moment, I felt like an outsider looking in. I was used to standing out, but this was different. I was alone now—no sister to compete with, no father’s indifference to hide behind. It was thrilling… and terrifying. My thoughts were interrupted when someone knocked into my shoulder, hard enough to make me stumble slightly. I regained my balance, my satchel sliding off my arm, and looked up just in time to see a tall guy with tousled black hair striding past me without a second glance. “Excuse me!” I called after him, my voice brimming with indignation. “You just knocked into me!” He turned lazily, his expression cool, and slid his sunglasses up onto his head. His sharp blue eyes met mine with a mix of amusement and disinterest. There was an effortless confidence about him that made me instantly suspicious, like he was used to getting what he wanted without ever having to ask. The leather jacket, the casual smirk—it all screamed arrogance. “Did I?” he said, his Scottish accent thick and casual, as though it didn’t really matter. “I didn’t notice.” My mouth fell open in disbelief. His apology—if you could even call it that—was so insincere that it made my anger flare. “Yeah, maybe next time you could pay attention to the people around you.” He raised an eyebrow, his smirk deepening. “Maybe you should relax. It’s just a bump, no harm done.” I felt my hands ball into fists at my sides. “It’s not about the bump. It’s about not being an inconsiderate jerk.” His expression barely changed, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes—something amused and dangerous. “Wow, first day and already making friends,” he drawled. “Impressive.” Heat flushed my face. “You don’t get to be a prick just because you’ve been here longer.” “Oh, you’re new? That explains it,” he said, leaning casually against a nearby post as if this was all a game to him. “You’ve got that deer-in-the-headlights look.” My anger spiked. “And you’ve got that ‘I think I’m better than everyone else’ look,” I shot back, my voice sharp. He grinned, clearly enjoying this more than he should have. “Not everyone, just some people. You’ll get used to it.” “Arrogant much?” I snapped, frustration boiling over. “I hope the rest of the students here aren’t as full of themselves as you are.” He laughed, a low, lazy sound that made me want to scream. “You’re uptight, you know that? Overreacting about something so small. Lighten up. It’s just college.” I glared at him, my mind racing. Part of me wanted to yell at him, but another part of me just wanted to walk away. “And you’re insufferable. You think you can go through life just brushing people off like they don’t matter?” He shrugged, still grinning. “Not everyone matters.” Something in his tone struck a nerve, and for a split second, I thought of my father—how easily he dismissed me and Amara, how little space we took up in his life. My chest tightened with a flash of old hurt, but I pushed it down, focusing my anger on the guy in front of me instead. “You know what?” I said, my voice steady now, my hands unclenching. “You’re not worth the energy.” With that, I turned on my heel and started walking away, but not before I heard his parting shot. “I’m Andy, by the way,” he called after me. “In case you want to remember me later.” “I won’t,” I muttered under my breath, not bothering to look back. The rest of the day passed in a blur of lectures and hurried introductions. I threw myself into my classes, eager to drown out the memory of my encounter with Andy. The university itself was everything I’d hoped for—massive, steeped in history, with its cobblestone courtyards and endless corridors that seemed to lead to hidden parts of the past. Every corner felt like it held a story, a mystery waiting to be uncovered. But despite my best efforts to focus, I couldn’t shake the irritation that had settled deep inside me since that run-in with Andy. Every now and then, my mind wandered back to that smirk, to the way he’d brushed me off like I was nothing. It shouldn’t have bothered me as much as it did—I didn’t care what some random guy thought of me—but there was something about him that had gotten under my skin. By the time my last class ended, the sky had darkened, and the campus was beginning to quiet down. I found myself drawn to the university library, an imposing building with towering shelves and high ceilings, lit by soft golden lamps. I needed a break, a quiet place to gather my thoughts, and the library seemed like the perfect retreat. I found a cozy corner by a large window, the stained glass casting colorful patterns across the floor. Sinking into a leather armchair, I pulled out my notebook and tried to review my notes from the day. But my thoughts kept drifting back to my family, to the life I’d left behind in London. Amara had texted me earlier, asking how my first day was going, but I hadn’t replied. I didn’t know how to explain what I was feeling—the strange mixture of freedom and loneliness that came with being on my own for the first time. Just as I was starting to settle into my thoughts, a voice interrupted me. “Fancy seeing you here.” My heart sank as I looked up to see Andy leaning against one of the bookshelves, his arms crossed, a familiar smirk on his face. “What are you doing here?” I asked, my voice sharper than I intended. Cursing myself for thinking anything of his was familiar to me. He shrugged, clearly unfazed. “Studying. Same as you.” I narrowed my eyes. “You don’t look like you’re studying.” Andy glanced around at the bookshelves, then back at me, his grin widening. “I’m studying people. Way more interesting.” I rolled my eyes, turning my attention back to my notebook. “Well, I’m trying to study for real, so if you don’t mind…” “I don’t mind at all,” he said, sliding into the chair opposite me, making himself comfortable. My patience was wearing thin. “Seriously? Don’t you have something better to do?” “Not really,” he said, leaning back casually. “But it’s nice to know I’ve made such a lasting impression.” “You made a terrible first impression,” I muttered, flipping through my notes without really seeing them. Andy chuckled, but there was a glint of something more in his eyes now. “You’re interesting, you know that? Most people would’ve let it go by now, but you—nah, it seems like, you hold on to things.” My hands tightened around my notebook. “You have no idea what I’m holding on to.” “Maybe not,” Andy said, his voice softening slightly. “But I get the feeling there’s more to you than meets the eye.” I glanced up at him, my frustration warring with curiosity. There was something in his gaze, something I hadn’t expected. I hated that part of me was intrigued by it. “Well, even if there is, you won’t be finding out,” I said, standing up.