Call Me By My Name

Ch.3

Royale

*Five Years Later*

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“Mama, have you made it?”

“Yes, just landed. Promise me you’ll be good for Aunt Carla.”

“I will. When will you be back? Daddy?”

“In a few days and I don’t know yet, love. But I have to go now. I’ll check in later when things settle.”

A lot has happened over the last five years. My son, Atlas, is the main one. Nothing else compared to him. When I snuck out all those years ago, I had assumed that I was only taking memories of that weekend and the man who tapped into something forbidden within me. One can imagine my shock when three months later the doctor handed me a positive blood test result.

I’ve discovered and kept many secrets over the years, him included, but he was at that age when he wanted to know why his father wasn’t around when all his rich school friends had theirs. At almost five, he was too smart for his age. I’ve never denied him anything, but now he was pushing that I didn’t deny him the completion of a father. One that I haven’t seen or heard about since I took off. Not that I bothered to look.

Shaking off the thought, I focused on the cool Caribbean breeze that welcomed me as I stepped off the plane. Stretching my stiff limbs from the three-hour flight, I took in the crisp clean air. The sun was shining bright, it wasn’t hot or humid. Unlike the unpredictable Florida heat I’m used to, this one was comfortable and damn near heavenly. Let me find out that’s how it is on the regular I might just move here.

The guide my brother sent helped me with my luggage as I stupidly took in the atmosphere around me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen outside look this beautiful. All that could be seen was clear blue skies, lots of mixtures of green trees, and different colored flowers. The people were lively and welcoming. I’m sure at least five people stopped to speak, and others just smiled or waved as if we all knew each other in some way.

“Ma’am, Mr. Denise requested that I take you to the venue where the rehearsal is being held. Would you like to stop at your villa to freshen up?”

I smiled at him and nodded before getting into the car. I was wearing sweats and a tank top; I doubted my brother would approve of my attire. Even though it’s been a year since we saw each other, he’d be more concerned about me showing up like a bum to his wedding rehearsal than be happy that I showed up at all.

The flight had me a little tired, but since I’d never been to the Bahamas before, I didn’t want to miss anything. Especially since this will be considered my vacation for the year. Being a mother, college professor, and forensic psychologist tends to make vacation time limited. I guess that’s what I get for being an overachiever.

Putting down the window, I took it all in. I always imagine what it would be like to live on an island with a house near the ocean. I have a beach house in Florida, but it never felt like it was the same. Now being here confirms that feeling and I’ve barely been here an hour. Everything about this place was gorgeous.

“Ma’am, we’ve arrived. The rehearsal starts in an hour and the venue is only ten minutes away. Here are your keys and pamphlets.”

I took the items from him before stepping out of the car. Once again, he helped me with my bags, and I led the way to the villa. It was a stunning oceanfront one-bedroom hut-like house with a pool and flower garden. It was perfect. My brother might annoy me most times, but he knew well.

After checking in at home, I roamed every corner of the villa and settled for a quick cold shower to wake myself up. After ten minutes of tossing everything in my two full bags around, I chose a simple off-the-shoulder royal blue dress that reached to the knee with an inch split on the right side and a pair of nude open-toe strappy heels. I applied light natural tone makeup and let my locs hang to hide the neck and back tattoo from the parents.

It's funny that, at twenty-six, I still feel the need to hide from the parents. I guess it’s expected when nothing I do is approved of. Not my career, not my locs, and definitely not my tattoos. You’d think the fact that we’re in the twenty-first century, they’d be more understandable. Nah, they’re only understanding when it comes to their first pride and joy. The only child that they actually shared, but that topic is for a different day.

Not trying to ruin my mood before they did, I locked up the villa and met the guide who gave me an appreciated look. The ten-minute drive was more like three. It was too fast for my liking. Taking a few deep breaths and saying a few affirmations, I got out of the car and headed into the Grande hotel where the rehearsal was being held.

My mother’s parents were the first to spot me. I went over and hugged them. They actually loved me more than Dario and their daughter. Even though I barely come around anymore, they’re always encouraging and sticking up for me. They didn’t care that I barely spoke a lick of their native language. Nor that I didn’t want to be a housewife and settle down and they definitely appreciated that I stayed far and clear of my parents and brother’s illegal activities.

The wedding planner came to escort us to the dining hall where everyone else awaits. I got the signature side-eye from the parents as I said hello. We weren’t the hugging and cuddling kind. Luckily, the planner didn’t give them time to start shredding me into pieces. Even though we were still waiting for the bride and groom, she started ordering everyone around. Well, everyone but me.

I had no idea why I was even here. I wasn’t part of the wedding party and had nothing to do with this. I didn’t even know who the bride was, but my brother asked me to attend, so here I am. Plus, I wasn’t about to turn down an all-expense-paid vacation to the Bahamas and a blank check.

I sat in one of the love seats watching as everyone got in formation. It was interesting how they were trying to incorporate three cultures. Everyone seemed annoyed and miserable. I want to say that I feel bad for them, but I didn’t care enough and I found their misfortune to be quite entertaining.

“Sis, you made it.” Dario came running to me, arms wide open. The giant, I called Brother. I got up and flew into his arms. I could see all eyes on us. The parents might have tossed me like hot garbage, but my brother and I have been thick as thieves since we were kids. Neither time, distance nor the opinion of others could change that.

“You paid me to be here, remember.”

“Hush and let me get a good look at you.” I made a twirl for him until my eyes caught sight of the man behind him and I could have sworn that the world stopped and no one else existed.

“Sis, close your mouth.” Dario chuckled in my ears, bringing me back from places my mind should not have gone. He introduced himself like I could have ever forgotten who he was. The man named Legend, that deranged gorgeous man with that velvety husky voice. The one that had me melting and heaven knows that was a crime within itself. But the actual crime was him pretending to not know me.

I was annoyed and happy when the bride-to-be came out of nowhere. Her name was Maria, and she was a little too chipper for my liking, but she seemed nice and was just my brother’s type. She had that exotic model look with ass and t**s for days. Hell, if I went that route, I might have fallen in love with her too.

After the introduction of Dario’s wedding party, everything went back on as planned. I sat there bored out of my mind as the planner kept redirecting them. Every now and then, I’d steal a glance at the god-like figure named Legend. It’s hard not to look when the man looks like that, but I also have another reason.

The girl on his arms as the maid of honor was having a harder time. It was hard not to chuckle a few times when the planner kept yelling out for her to focus and watch where she was going. I could tell that she was embarrassed but just couldn’t help herself. When the two hours of foolishness were up, I was the first out of those double doors. I had almost made it to my guide when that melting voice called out to me.

“Hey, Blue.” I c****d an eyebrow at the nickname and the man using it so freely.

“hmm.”

“Dario said to text him.”

“He could have just texted me.”

“Well, I wanted a reason to hear your voice again. To remember where I needed to come back to.” So, he did remember me after all.

“Does that pickup line actually work?”

“Never tried it before.” He smirked and before I could make a comeback, he was already gone. I'm sure I stood there much longer than I should have. I know I told myself that if I was to meet him here that I would be prepared, but truth be told, I wasn't prepared at all.

*****

I didn't text Dario, but he ended up at my villa before his bachelor party anyway. I guess being the favorite and true child can be overwhelming. We sat by the pool drinking as he complained about all the stress he was under. Family business and now marriage had him in a whirl. I silently listened, trying not to think about the man from earlier.

Over the years, I've been my brother's personal therapist, but right now it was to focus on what he had going on. For five years, I tried pushing the thought of his so-called friend to the farthest corner of my mind. It wasn't easy when I had a mini photocopy of him at home, but at least it was easy to pretend. Now, after a few glances and knowing he wasn't that far away, I was struggling to keep the memories of that weekend buried. Shaking off the thought all over again, I focused on what Dario was talking about. Luckily, the chiming of my phone gave me no choice.

Hurryingly picking up the phone, I noticed it was a picture message from my best friend Carla. I opened it and couldn't hold the smile that crept onto my face. There was a picture of my son holding a handwritten sign telling me to come back home. Knowing that my son was the mastermind behind it, I texted back telling him that I would be back in a few days. I put the phone down to find Dario studying me.

"What?"

"Was that Legend?"

"Why would your friend be texting me?"

"Just wondering?" The look on his face told me that there was more than wonder that led to that question. If being in business and a criminal wasn't his original calling in life, my brother would have made one hell of a detective. Always seeing and finding out shxt he shouldn't. Luckily, when it came to me, he had too many blind spots.

"Are you going to tell me what's with that question or am I going to have to force it out of you?"

"Must you be so threatening?" He chuckled, still studying me.

"I've never seen you look at anyone like that." I wasn't aware that I was that obvious, but I wasn't all that concerned. Being caught staring is the least of my problems, but I need to play this off well until I can figure out how to go about things.

"Hmm. It's the hormones."

"I bet. Did something happen between the two of you?"

"No. Do I look that easy to you, dear brother?" To me, it was a ridiculous question. I was that easy that night and day every day for the next two days until I snuck out that early morning. But I won't be telling him that, not any time soon.

"Not what I mean. It's just in less than ten seconds I could notice something between you two and I wasn't the only one."

"Nothing is between us."

"I hope not. It won't work out."

"Noted."

As much as I wanted to know the reason behind his statement, we changed the topic. I can't lie and say that it wasn't hard not thinking about what he said. I didn't know what to make of his friend. We had a chaotic weekend fling where I handed him my most prized possession on a silver platter after holding onto it for twenty-one years and was gifted with Atlas as a parting gift. Whatever could have been for us if I stuck around wouldn't have worked out and I'm not sure it would work out now.

However, it's not about it working out or not between us. I know the man is no good, and that I shouldn't delude myself with his looks or the brief memories we shared all those years ago. Yet, I have Atlas to think about, and how he wants to know his father. I wasn't sure how to go about giving my son what he wanted, nor do I know if it would be worth it, but I knew I had to at least give it a sincere try. How to go about it was beyond me.

Asking Dario any questions after this would raise suspicions. I needed to know more about him before I could make a clear decision, but I know it's going to be hard with the warnings Dario keeps giving me. I honestly don't care much about the warning signs. Being in this family was a danger and filled with them. Hell, if one pry deep enough they'll see I'm a walking warning sign myself.

One of the many truths was now conflicted. In the span of a few hours, my mind and feelings towards the situation were all over the place and that's not like me. I've never been indecisive. I make a decision and stick to it no matter what others think or the repercussions.

When I decided to hide my son, I never planned on finding his father or letting my family know until I was well-prepared. Now, I was questioning if to tell his father and how to go about it without my family finding out or if I should bite the bullet and at least let Dario know he had a nephew. I'm not prepared for any of it. Maybe it would have been a different situation if I could leave my feelings behind as I had attempted all those years ago.

I want to say that all this mind-fxck I was experiencing was solely and simply due to my son, but that wouldn't be a complete truth. I find myself being drawn to the man even though I know I shouldn't be. Outside of his looks, we shared a moment and a child. I don't know why, but I feel like we shared something far beyond what is known even to us. Maybe I'm just delusional.

My head was hurting from all that over-processing of my situation and what Dario was talking about even though I was barely listening at that point. That's probably why I didn't hear him asking me to be the replacement maid of honor until he repeated that request. A second blank check was a great insensitive, but after getting my head out of the misty clouds, I agreed simply because it'd allow me to be close to the man. That itself is a problem I doubt I'll be able to overcome with what I can imagine is to come in the next couple of days.