Call Me By My Name

Ch.5

Mateo

My job was to gather intel, observe and wipe out my targets. How I go about it varies and does not take more than a year to complete. Well, that was till this one. I’m starting to think that mom purposely set me up. I’m not sure if my current targets are smart, lucky, or too fxcking evil.

My entry was through Dario, but he was also a target for many other people. That’s normal in this line of business. However, he had more than most I’ve dealt with, and many were coming from his own people. On top of that, his parents never seem to be at arm’s length when it’s time to execute my plan.

I couldn’t give two fxck about this wedding, but this was the best chance I had to complete this job without leaving a mess. It was kind of ironic that Dario chose an island to have his fake wedding and I was the best man. I can’t say that I won’t have any regrets about what I am about to do, but I can’t help but appreciate a good opportunity.

Silently, I listened to Dario telling the guys and me about the wedding schedule along with the main guests. This was of importance because we all worked as Dario’s security team. We could all be considered friends, but it was mostly business. With a lifestyle like ours, true friends can't be afforded. So we pay for protection and pray for loyalty.

Collectively, it was our job to make sure everything went smoothly and everyone, especially him and his family, were safe. If only that was my real mission.

By the time the meeting was over, I had come up with a safe-proof plan. It helped that Dario was stretching out time. This marriage was a sham but that’s usually how it is in our world. Hell, that’ll be me in a few months.

“I did the favor you asked. Please don’t ruin my Blue more than she is.” Dario finally spoke up when the others left for the venue. It’s a known fact that I’m not much of a talker, so I nodded without looking back. I know curiosity was killing him, but after the five years we had, he owed me more than his life.

However, I wasn’t using his sister to cash in that price. Oddly, I just wanted to be around her. Ever since I saw her yesterday, I haven’t been able to get her off my mind. These last five years looked good on her. She seemed to have perfected that walk of hers but not her expressions. Still walking as if the world is beneath her yet showing all her cards.

It was a beautiful sight and I found myself wanting to bask in it just one last time. I can’t promise that I won’t ruin her. I can tell that I already have. After this wedding is over, it’s going to be much worse for more than one reason. It’s selfish on my part, but I wouldn’t have been my parents’ son if I wasn’t.

The venue was only five minutes away from our villa, yet we were an hour late. I followed Dario and watched how she was the first one he ran to. It was amusing to see how disappointed she looked. From what I’ve gathered, she knew little of her family and their dealings, but she was smart enough to understand what was going on.

I had forgotten how she was with physical contact and reached for her without thinking much about it. She hesitated when I linked my arm with hers, but quickly relaxed. After a few words, we made our way through the venue. I took my time walking with her. In that body-hugging dress and heels, I could tell she was uncomfortable.

Something about being around her felt too comfortable. It was like my body and mind automatically became synced with hers. I walked with her everywhere she needed to go, pulling out chairs and giving her support all because I somehow knew she needed it. Throughout the whole charade, I found myself being all about her.

We barely talked. Not before and not now, but it was like we knew each other in a way that we shouldn’t. I tried pushing the thought out of my mind. It wasn’t possible to have these thoughts when I'd already shared this feeling with someone else and I barely knew her. I shouldn’t know her.

Yet, when she took off at the reception, my feet were moving before my mind was. A small part of me was hoping that she wouldn't let me take her home. I knew she would. She still carries that look from five years ago whenever she looks at me. The same look she had in her eyes when she welcomed me into her sacred space. One of a mixture of admiration, understanding, and need. Plus, her body still instinctively melts into mine whenever I’m close.

I never had a female look at me or react to me that way, let alone after I was done with them. Every female I've come across after Mel saw me as something to claim and tame until they found out just how fxcked up I was, taking off running with nothing but fear in their eyes. Yet, she wasn't afraid of me, not the slighted. Not even after I brutally took her innocence and near killed her on the first night we met.

A part of me always thought that maybe dealing with me for two days and seeing me for who I was caused her to run. Then, I took in the look in the look in her eyes and how she reacted to me. I have to admit that wasn't the case. Nothing has puzzled me more than that damn woman.

With all that, I knew she wouldn’t reject me, but I was still relieved when she openly agreed. Throughout the drive, I would study her from the corner of my eye. I could sense her nervousness. Unlike our last encounter, she was quieter. Lost in her thoughts. She had that look her brother does when a decision is weighing heavily on them.

It was cute but worrisome. She was so expressive that it hurt. In a world where everyone hides behind a mask, she was an open book. Her expressions did all the talking and I’m sure if one pushes enough, she’ll freely tell you all the little secrets that it doesn’t. She was transparent. It was one of the things I liked about her even without knowing her.

I didn’t want to push, but knowing that we might never see each other again after this was all over, I gave her the invitation to speak freely about her worries. When she declined, I let her be. I was no one’s therapist. Plus, it was probably for the best. Hearing about what was causing her stress might only make it harder to be less invested than I am now.

“That’s my Villa right there. Thank you for the ride and your help today.” On the surface, her voice sounded calm but there was an underline unsureness.

“Don’t mention it.” I parked the car and reached over to unfasten her seat belt.

“The criminal gentleman” I’m not sure if it was how she lowly said it with that little scuff or the fact that she didn’t mean to say it out loud that had me laughing. The shock on her face only made it that much more entertaining.

I got out, opened her door, and walked her to her Vila. She invited me in and over drinks, we simply talked. Nothing of our shared moments in the past was mentioned, and our talk wasn’t personal, but it was welcoming. More than anything, I think we both just wanted to enjoy each other’s company without any extra baggage.

***

Watching her comfortably lying on the bed still asleep from our long night, I try to think about what I’m going to do with her. I shouldn’t have wanted to keep her, but I was having a hard time letting go. I can’t say that I ever did after our first night all those years ago. She’s not afraid of me and, somehow, she soothes me. Even after five years, she is still the only one that has had this effect on me.

The fact that sxx wasn’t even a topic last night yet she ended up comfortably in my arms had me feeling things I shouldn’t. It didn’t make any sense to me. I know I should walk away as she did five years ago, but my feet don’t want to move. It was stupid of me to believe we could do this again and I’ll be able to get her out of my system. If anything, I want more of her. I want the last drops she hasn’t given me yet. The ones she holds near for safekeeping. I shouldn’t but I can’t help wanting to.

A group chat message chimed from both our phones. Seemed like I wasn’t the only one not where they were supposed to be. The bride and groom were requested for the wedding party to meet up for brunch before they departed for their honeymoon. I replied that I was going to be late. Finding her number from the list, I saved it. I shouldn't have.

Sitting next to her on the bed, I gently moved a few locs away from her face, tracing the outline of it. I wish I could skip everything just to be with her alone. However, I was on a job and needed to get going. I’m not sure why it pained me so much to leave her. Even though Dario slipped and told me she was staying for three more days after every leave, I didn’t trust her to stay put and not sneak off again. It shouldn’t even matter if she did.

“Stop staring at me.” Her soft sleepy voice rang out as she leaned into my touch with her eyes still closed.

“Easier said than done.”

“Hmm. You probably should get going before the cavalry known as Dario comes looking for you.” It was hard not to chuckle at her scrunched-up face when she said that.

“I will in a few. Get up, we have a brunch to attend.”

“You have brunch to attend. All I was required to do was show up for the wedding.” She scooted closer to me, moving her head into my lap.

“Yet, you ended up being the maid of honor.”

“I have a feeling I should be slapping you for that one.” I chuckled because she wasn’t wrong. Instead of answering, I gathered her naked body in my arms and got up.

“Shower and get ready. I’ll make coffee and wait for you.”

“We can’t be seen coming in together.”

“We won’t be. Now hurry up.” I kissed the side of her lips before placing her in the shower. One last kiss and I let her be. She’s gained a little bit of weight over the years, which only seems to sit on her fuller brxasts and axs. I love the feeling of them in my arms. It took everything in me to keep my erection under control and walk away.

I went to make her coffee the way I remembered she liked it. I find it amusing that even though I have tried to forget her ever since she took off. All I wanted was to punish her when I got my hands on her again. That all changed when I laid eyes on her two days ago. One look into her doe eyes was all it took for the rubber band between us to snap back in place.

I knew she was different when we met, but I had classed her as being just like the others after she took off. Just another great pretender and someone I could forget and move on from. I didn’t expect her to willingly pick up where we left off. I expected the cat-and-mouse games most girls play. Especially the ones born with a silver spoon and have been raised to believe that the world evolves around them.

It was a fair assumption that she wasn’t like most girls. I’m still not sure if it’s because she is insane or one of a kind. In the end, none of it mattered. Once this job is completed, I’ll be on the first flight back to Denver. She and her brother will be a distant memory of those I’ve ruined over the years. Just another casualty and nothing more, but right now I couldn't help but want to pretend that wasn't the case.

At least that’s what I keep telling myself. However, I have a feeling these two will be one of the many ghosts that will haunt me for the years to come. A not-so-deep part of me was praying that wasn't the case. Who was I kidding? Unlike their parents and previous targets, they were decent people. Maybe as lost as I am and far from worthy of the havoc I was about to cause in their lives by nightfall.

The finalization of my missions doesn’t usually affect me till later on. However, I’m not sure if it’s being with her once more or a collection of making friends with her brother. Either way, she had a lot to do with how I was feeling. This dread of what was to come and how this mission affected me far sooner than I am used to. I hated it but, at the same time, didn't mind it; for the first time in a while, I got a sense of what it felt like to feel human outside of the nightmares.