He Says She Says

Love Is

Chapter Seven

Love Is

(Lexine’s POV)

♪I want somebody to share, share the rest of my life.

Share my inner most thoughts, know my intimate details.

Someone who’ll stand by myself and give me support.

And in return, he’ll get my support.

He will listen to me when I want to speak

About the world we live in and life in general.

Though my views may be wrong, they may easily be perverted.

He’ll hear me out and won’t easily be converted to my way of thinking.

In fact he’ll often disagree but at the end of it all he will understand me.♪

            CLAP. CLAP. CLAP.

            Napatigil si Glam sa pagpa-piano. Tumingin kaming apat sa entrance ng auditorium. Napanganga sina Tryx at Dea. Si Glam nag-wave. Ako? I dunno, ano bang dapat kong maging reaksyon kina Bryce at Ana na magkasamang pumapasok ng auditorium kung saan kami nagpa-practice? It’s Ana Rayven, c’mon! I should be some weird fanatic girl na tumatakbo’t nagpapa-autograph sa kanila.

            Stupid mood.

                 “Hi! The song is great, I like.” ^____^

                 “Thank you.” nagba-blush na sagot ni Tryx. “It’s Lexine’s choice of songs.”

            Nabaling ang tingin niya sa’kin. I managed to give her a slight smile. Her eyes became intriguing. I saw through it. I saw through the make up. If it isn’t there, she’ll be terribly pale. I can see the stress. I can see all of them without any hint of liveliness. They’re right. She’s sick.

                 “Gonzales? Lexine Gonzales is it?”

            Tumango ako. “Yap.”

            Her face fell a little. “I’m sorry, condolence.”

                 “Thank you.”

                 “What? Who died? What condolence?” Bryce butt in, the cold look plastering his face earlier now faded. Now I can see the vulnerable Bryce again.

             Bumaling sa kanya si Ana. “Yna Gonzales, her Mom. She died of brain cancer. Sa pagkakaalam ko, she’s been hospitalized for so long since her husband, Ramil Gonzales, cheated on her. He’s so… notorius for being a womanizer so uhm…” nag-aalangan siyang tumingin sa’kin. “I’m really sorry, it isn’t my story to tell but I—”

                 “It’s fine. My petty life is an open book, Miss Rayven. Everyone knows about it.”

            Magsasalita pa sana siya nang pare-pareho kaming magulat sa biglang paghatak ni Bryce sa akin sabay niyakap ako. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know, Lexine, I’m sorry.”

            Unconsciously, nakagat ko ang dulo ng daliri ko. It’s an old habbit, I bite my fingernails kapag ninenerbyos ako. “I’m fine, you know.”

                 “I still don’t think so.” He sighed then he pulled me away, he turned and smiled to Ana. “I’ll go call Aldrin later to fetch you from class. May business transaction sa Emerald mamaya kaya baka hindi kita masundo tsaka maihatid. Bibilinan ko na lang si Aldrin.”

                 “Okie, I’ll get going, may music pa’ko. Uh… Lex, I’ll see ya next time. I hope may time ka para isang maikling chit-chat.”

                 “Sure. Looking forward to that. Bye-bye!” (^__^)/

                 “Byieeee!” (^0^)/

            Umalis na siya tapos sunod-sunod na nagpaalam sina Glam, Dea at Tryx. Susunod sana ako kaso nahawakan ni Bryce ang braso ko. Wala ring kwenta. “Hey… may klase rin ako.” @__@

                 “You’ll sleep at my condo today.”

                 “HALA!” 0_____0

                 “Just a sleepover, idiot. Like those days. Sasama ka sa’kin sa ayaw mo’t sa gusto. Susunduin kita mamaya pagkatapos ng klase mo.”

                 “Pero sabi mo kay Ana may…”

            Tumalikod na siya at naglakad paalis na nakapamulsa ang kamay. Nagsinungaling siya kay Ana. Bakit siya nagsinungaling kay Ana? Ano bang problema niya? Bakit niya sinabing may business transactions siya sa Emerald gayong wala naman?

            Haist. Why bother knowing?

ooxXxoo

                 “Lex! May pupuntahan ka?” agad na salubong sa’kin ni Vince nang makita niya ako sa locker hall. Nag-aayos na kasi ako ng gamit para sa dismissal hindi na ako dadaan pa dito. Masyadong madaming tao, anti-social ako eh.

            Chos. xD

                 “Wala, bakit?”

                 “Uh… sabi kasi ng Lola mo lumabas daw tayo ngayong gabi dahil Friday naman.”

            Bumuntong hininga ako. I hate my life, seriously. “Wala kasi ako sa mood ngayon eh. Isa pa bak—”

                 “She’s going to be with me later tonight.” An oddly familliar voice interrupted.

            Napalingon agad ako sa likuran ko and there we saw Bryce glaring at Vince but smiling at me at the same time. Teka lang. Anong sabi niya? “Seryoso ka do’n?”

                 “Yea, babe. Nagpaalam na ako sa Lola mo, she said it’s okay.”

            Hala ka. @___@a

                 “Lex wouldn’t go with you.” confident na sabi ni Vince na parang hindi na nga ata ako kinonsulta o tinanong.

                 “She will, Vince. You may be the fiance but I’m Bryce Soriano, she knew me longer than she knows you. So excuse us, Lex has classes.” Sarkastikong nginitian ni Bryce si Vince sabay akbay niya sa’kin at hinatak ako papaalis sa hall.

            Para siyang nakahinga ng maluwag nung makalayo kami do’n. Nagtataka pa rin naman ako sa eksena kanina. @.@a “Bryce, bakit lagi kayong nag-aaway ni Vince? I mean yeah, Vince’s a bit cold and… arrogant to say the least pero bakit… gano’n?” (@___@)

            He sighed then his arms around me tightened for no reason at all. “Hindi mo maiintindihan kung bakit, Lex. Hindi ka maniniwala kapag ipinaliwanag ko sa’yo. Kaya ang mabuting gawin mo, pumasok ka na tapos pumunta ka sa parking ng Ashton mamaya, andu’n ako. Alright? Are we clear?”

                 “Yeah?” eh napapagod na kasi ako ng kaka-kontra kay Bryce kasi feeling ko hindi naman tatalab eh. Kaya oo na lang.

            Ngumiti siya na parang sa simpleng sagot na ‘yon eh natuwa siya agad. “Good.” Then to my surprise, he kissed my forehead before letting me go and walking away dahil apparently, nasa tapat na kami ng classroom ko.

            WTF? o.O

            Anyway, for some weird reason feeling ko parang ang bilis-bilis matapos ng mga klase. The next thing I knew dismissal na. Nagpaalam pa sa akin si Sheena dahil may group project daw sila kaya di siya makakauwi ng bahay. I haven’t heard from Dea, Glam and Tryx. Neither Fu. Asan na nga kaya ang mga ‘yon?

            Remembering what Bryce told me, pumunta ako sa parking space ng Ashton. Nakita ko siya agad na nakasandal against a black convertible na nakangiti sa akin at parang kanina pa niya ako ine-expect. Napalunok ako sabay lapit. “Asan yung lambhorgini mo?”

                 “Ah. Na kay Jc.” Matipid niyang sagot bago kunin ang bag ko at pagbuksan ako ng pintuan. “May gusto ka pa bang daanan?”

            Napakunot lang ako ng noo. “Bakit na kay Jelo ang lambhorgini mo, Bryce? Seryoso, anong nangyari?”

            Bumuntong hininga siya tapos pumikit ng mariin. There’s something with that question na ayaw niyang sagutin. “It’s been long overdue. That bet we had, I lose didn’t I? So I gave the car to him, it felt wrong keeping that car.”

                 “But it was yours.”

                 “Babe, stop arguing. Can we just get going please?”

                 “Well… fine…”

            Sumakay ako ng kotse, sumunod siya pagkasarado niya ng pintuan sa side ko. Malamang nagmamadali siya dahil nagsinungaling siya kay Ana na may business transaction siya sa Emerald gayong wala naman. Di ko lang talaga maintindihan kung bakit niya ginawa ‘yon. Di ba dapat kasama niya ngayon ‘yun? Kasi nga di ba nagbabantay siya kasi may sakit yun si Ana?

                 “Bryce, hindi mo ba ire-remind si Ana about sa medications niya? Aren’t you keeping an eye on her?”

            Nakita kong humigpit ang hawak niya sa steering wheel then he cleared his throat but didn’t look at me. “Ana can handle herself, Lex.”

                 “Pero, Bryce…”

            Tumingin siya sa akin ng seryoso. His eyes were almost like… pleading. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero parang gano’n eh. “Do you really want me to do that?”

                 “Bryce, I was just saying.”

                 “Why?”

                 “Dahil nga di ba gusto mo si Ana? May reason kung bakit ka nagkakaganyan, kung bakit gusto mong pumunta ng California kasama siya. May reason kung bakit, Bryce, at dahil ‘yon sa mahal mo siya. May rason kung bakit ayaw mo siyang mawala sa’yo. So why throw it away?”

            I saw his jaws clenched. Saktong nag-red yung traffic light kaya huminto lahat ng sasakyan. He grabbed his phone then press some buttons but he didn’t called her. He must have sent her a message. Tapos maya-maya nag-clear siya ng throat. “So uhm… may gusto kang daanan? You want to buy something you can eat later?”

                 “Mmm… wala naman. I’m good.” ^___^

                 “You sure?”

                 “Yap.” Nakangiting sagot ko na nagpangiti rin sa kanya. And like in an instant, sa ngiting ‘yon eh nawala lahat ng halu-halong pagod, inis, at pagmamakaawa sa mga mata niya kanina.

            Naku, Lex, baliw ka na. *sampal sa sarili*

            Minutes later, narating na namin ang unit niya. Ni-lock niya yung kotse niya bago kami umakyat sa floor niya gamit ang elevator ng building. “Hey, babe, what do you think with we watch some DVD for tonight?”

                 “Until we sleep?” o.O

                 “Up to you. Trust me, it would be fun.”

                 “Kdot.” =____=

            Ngumiti lang siya tapos saktong bukas ni elevator. Pumasok kami sa unit niya. I glanced at his wall clock, six-thirty na pala. “Bryce, do you think pwede tayong magluto ng dinner kesa magpa-deliver? I’m not in the mood for fastfood.”

                  “Hang on, I’ll check the fridge.” Nilapag niya ang mga gamit namin sa may couch niya habang ako binubuksan ko yung switch ng ilaw sa sala tsaka sa kwarto niya. Siya ang nagbukas ng ilaw sa kusina. Tapos sinundan ko siya do’n. He’s already taking out pans and some condiments. “Uh… I have pork and some vegies.”

                 “Talaga? Patingin.” *0*

            Chineck ko ang ref niya. May stock siyang pork sa freezer na nilabas ko para ma-unfreeze. Tapos meron siyang tomatoes, eggplant, raddish, kangkong leaves, okra, tsaka potatoes. That doesn’t go together. “Err… sinigang?” @.@a

            Tumingin siya sa akin with amusement. “You can cook that one?”

                 “Eh yun lang pwede eh. May tomatoes, raddish, okra tsaka kangkong. Yun na lang, nagugutom na ako eh.”

                  “Well alright, tell me what to do.”

                 “Labas mo yung veggies, hugasan mo tas slice mo.”

            Naglabas ako ng caserole, tinago ko yung pan na nilabas niya. Hinihiwa ko yung na-unfreeze na karne nung may maramdaman akong tubig na tumatalsik sa akin. Nilingon ko si Bryce. Nakangisi lang siyang naghuhugas nung mga gulay. Naningkit ang mga mata ko. But then I continued what I was doing.

            Tapos yun na naman yung sprinkles ng tubig na ‘yun. “Bryce…” >:/

                 “What?”

                 “H’wag kang magulo, nangangain ako kapag gutom.” >:/

            Tumawa siya tapos tinalsikan na niya ako ng tubig mula doon sa leaves ng kangkong. Gagu ‘to. TT____TT

                 “Sira ka talaga!” sigaw ko na nagpatakbo sa kanya.

            Nilublob ko yung kamay ko do’n sa may tubig tapos hinabol ko siya hanggang sa sala. Tumalon ako sa likod niya then sinupalpal ko yung kamay kong basa ng tubig sa mukha niya. Tumatawa lang siya ng bongga. Sira ulong lalaki ‘to. xD

                 “Lex! Teka lang, time first!”

                 “Tse! Loko ka, kala mo ah.” >:/

            He laughed habang nakasakay pa rin ako sa likuran niya at ipinapahid sa mukha niya ang basa kong kamay. Pero sa kasamaang palad, dahil maliit lang naman akong tao, nakaya niya akong buhatin at ihagis sa kama then he towered me over. Naman. -____-

                 “Right, woman, stop now.” He chuckled sabay hawak niya sa dalawa kong kamay, pinning it above my head.

                 “Mapang-asar ka talaga, nakakainis ka.” = 3=

                 “Aw ang cute-cute mo.” :3

                 “Soriano!” -___-++

                 “Kidding. xD Pero totoo, babe, ang cute mo hahahaha! Payakap nga!”

            Then he dropped his face into my neck and buried it there, more like nuzzling me. Yung dalawang kamay niya in-entertwine niya sa fingers ko. I was surprised to realize that he’s breathing in my scent. Hala. Excuse lang ata niya yung sinabi niyang cute ako para makapang-manyak eh. Gagu talaga ‘to. -____-

            But I didn’t push him away. I guess he needed that. “Bryce?”

                 “Mm?”

                 “Okay ka lang?”

            Hindi siya sumagot, mas lalo lang niyang ni-nuzzle ang leeg ko. What am I going to do with this guy? He’s this toxicated and I don’t have any single idea why he wants me as companion sa mga ganitong pagkakataon. Nakakakunsensya naman kaya the least thing I did was to hug him back and brush his hair with my hands, just like how I know he likes that gesture.

            And he did. He hugged me more tightly without any hint of intentions on letting me go.

            Hala. Pa’no ‘to? o.Oa

                 “Bryce… nagugutom na’ko. Kumain lang naman muna tayo.” TT^TT

            I heard him chuckle. “Yea, I forgot. Let’s go cook that food.”

            Tumayo siya kasabay ko. Sa awa naman ni Lord, matiwasay kaming nakapagluto at nakakain ng hapunan. Pagkatapos nu’n nag-insist siyang mag-movie marathon sa loob ng room niya para if we ever fell asleep, diretso sa kama. :P

                 “Transformers?” he suggested habang winawagayway sa harapan ng mukha ko yung DVD ng Transformers.

                 “Ayoko. Ma-manyakin mo lang si Megan Fox, hanap kang iba.” = 3=

            Tumawa siya pero pumili rin ng iba. May nadampot akong DVD na parang ang ganda kasi ang ganda rin ng title. Bwahaha anu raw? XD Angels Crest yung taytol. Tas nakita si Klaus ng TVD kaya naintriga ako. :o

                  “Bryce, Bryce, Bryce! *0* Let’s watch this.” *u*

            Kunot-noo niyang kinuha sa akin ang DVD na hawak ko. “Joseph Morgan? Thomas Dekker? Seriously, Lex, walang hot na bebs dito.”

                 “Movie ba talaga ang hanap mo o p*********y?” -____-

                 “Pfffttt. Kidding. Pa-kiss nga.”

            Inakma ko sa mukha niya ang kamao ko. Tumatawa siyang nag-retreat sabay salang ng DVD sa component. I settled back on the bed. We watched. At no’n ko lang talaga na-realize na ang hot pala talaga neto ni Joseph Morgan. Si Thomas Dekker, pwede na. :p Pero mas prefer ko pa rin si Joseph Morgan. :">

            Maya-maya, humiga si Bryce sa lap ko. Pinikit niya ang mata niya kaya nagtaka ako. “Bryce? Something’s up?”

                 “Nothing, sweetheart. I’m fine.”

                 “Weh? Di nga? May sakit ka ba? Gusto mo nang matulog?”

                 “No, ayoko muna. Pagod lang ako nitong nakaraan. I’ve been back and forth sa ospital at sa Emerald, I had to take my position in there, I’m graduating this year. I just need this, Lex, I don’t want to sleep.”

            Sabihin n’yo nga. Sadya bang slow ako’t di ko naintindihan yung last niyang sinabi o hindi talaga kainti-intindi ‘yun? @___@

                  “Sige na nga.”

            Nag-focus ulit ako sa panonood. Di ko namalayang naiyak ako do’n sa part na nakita ni Ethan yung baby niya na dedbols na kung hindi lang pinahid ni Bryce ang luha ko. :'( And then I realized… hindi siya nanonood.

                 “Alam mo at the end of the movie, mukhang ako lang ang makakaintindi nitong pinapanood natin. Di ka naman nanonood eh.”

                 “Nanonood ako ah. I’m watching it through your eyes.”

            Hinampas ko mukha niya, tumawa siya, tumawa lang rin ako. Then his smile turned into a serious expression. “Can I ask you a favor, babe?”

                 “Yea?”

                 “Can you please tell me what’s going on with your life? I just feel like… like I’m an outcast. I wanted to know everything, I wanted to be the first to know about everything you’re going through.”

            Napahinga ako ng malalim. Ano ba naman ‘tong pinapasok ko? “Dad… well Dad is uhm… kind’a like you. A womanizer. Emerald wanted him to marry Mom, as it was in the traditions. But he eventually cheated on her. A lot of times to say the least. When I was eighteen, my mother was hospitalized, she had brain cancer. Kailangan kong bumalik sa mga Gonzales dahil kapag hindi, lahat ng yaman ng pamilya ko mapupunta sa gahaman kong tatay at sampu ng angkan niya. I am the only legitimate Gonzales left and since you’re uhm… bound to Ana now, they chose someone from the Choi clan which would be Vince to be my fiance to help me legitimize the Gonzales’ riches and companies para mas lalong malabo ang habol ni Daddy.”

                 “Lex…”

                 “You know Dad use to say that he loves my Mom so much. As it turns out, pera lang ng Mommy ko ang mahal niya. Gano’n ba magmahal? If you love someone, does she have to have something in exchange of that love? Hindi ba pwedeng maging sapat nang mahal ka rin niya? I hate my Dad, Bryce. I hate womanizers, they made me realize that love is too selfish and too impossible to exist.”

            To my surprise, hinigit niya ang kamay ko na pinangpupunas ko sa luha ko then held it tightly that made me look at him. His eyes held so much pain and exhaustion na hindi ko alam kung saan nanggagaling. But his blue orbs are still the hypnotizing ones. Nothing changed. They still drown me.

                 “Hindi ‘yon gano’n, Lex. Love isn’t selfish, love isn’t about money, love isn’t about using anyone to get what one wants. Love is rather selfless. Love is when… when you’re willing to give up someone just so as not to lose them forever. Love is when you don’t want to do things but because she wanted you to do that, you would, because it makes her happy. Love is being able to still love so much even after it hurts so damn much. Love is not about s*x, not about having a lot of girls to bed. Love is wanting one person despite having everything. Look at me, Lex. Do you not see how love exist?”

            Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ganito kabilis ang t***k ng puso ko. Hindi ko maipaliwanag kung bakit pakiramdam ko gustong umiyak ni Bryce gaya ng pag-iyak niya sa harapan ko noon. Hindi ko alam kung bakit.

            But at the end of it all, all I know is that it’s much comforting to have Bryce embracing me like he never wanted to let me go.