Poisonous Love (Keanna & Gavin Story)

Chapter 10

"Hindi ko siya maintindihan, Erin..." problemado kong paglalabas ng saluobin sa kaibigan.

Ibinagsak ko ang aking sarili sa kanyang tabi sa upuan at saka ipinahinga ang ulo sa kanyang balikat. Bumuntong hininga siya bago itinabi ang gamit na laptop sa coffee table upang magkausap kami ng umaayos.

"Last sem, bago siya naging mailap sa akin ay siya mismo ang lumalapit sa akin. He even volunteered to drive me home! Pero pagkatapos no'n ay hindi na niya ako muling pinansin.." napanguso ako at mas lalong bumigat ang aking pakiramdam habang inaalala ang pagiging malapit niya sa akin. "Ngayon, kaklase ko siya sa isa sa mga subjects namin this semester. He still wouldn't talk to me. Nagkatinginan lang kami. Ayon lang."

Muli siyang nagpakawala ng malalim na hininga. Bago bahagyang lumayo sa akin upang maharap ako ng maayos.

"Don't you think you're putting too much meaning on his words and actions, Keanna?" Erin asked me a very straightforward question. "Alam mo...Iyan ang iniiwasan ko ngayon. Sometimes, we tend to misinterpret someone that can cause us to assume something, especially if that someone is a person we really like."

Hindi ako makakibo dahil alam ko ang pinanggagalingan niya. She's been hurt so badly when she assumed that she finally had a chance with Danzel who just turned down her confession and declared his love for someone else who's also our very close friend.

"Just let him be," she continued. "If he'll approach you again, be civil and casual. Do not act like you've been waiting for him to make his move again. Gaya nga ng sabi nila, don't assume unless otherwise stated."

Back in my mind, I kept on storing inside my head every advice that Erin was giving me. Her words felt very essential to control what I was feeling.

"Don't make the same mistakes I did, Keanna. Sobrang sakit at ayaw kong maranasan mo 'yon,' nag-aalalang sabi niya sa akin. "Kahit na sabihin mong walang namamagitan sa inyong dalawa, iba pa rin ang punyal ng sakit na tatama sa'yo. Masuwerte ka pa nga dahil hindi pa ganoon kalalim ang nararamdaman mo sa kanya. The pain might be lesser than what I felt, but pain is pain."

Dala-dala ko ang mga salitang pinabaon sa akin ni Erin habang dahan-dahan akong naglalakad papasok sa aming silid. I was more confident than I was last time, even though I already knew whom I might see the moment I went inside. Ngunit bago ako pumasok sa loob ay huminto muna ako upang masiguradong gamay ko ang aking nararamdaman.

I deeply breathed in and out for a few times to calm my heart and whispered to myself. "Kaya mo 'yan, Keanna! Ikaw pa ba? Just do what you keep on practicing last night. Wala lang 'yan—"

"Okay ka lang ba?"

I jumped out of surprised and turned around with my eyes wide open. I was welcomed by Gavin who seemed also surprised with my sudden action. Napaatras pa ako ng dalawang beses upang makalayo sa kanya dahil sobrang lapit lamang namin sa isa't-isa.

"Ah....Uh...G-Gavin..." nauutal kong pagsambit sa kanyang pangalan nang dahil sa gulat.

Parang kagabi lang ay pinag-uusapan namin ni Erin na kapag kinausap at lumapit sa akin si Gavin ay dapat kalmado lamang ako pero kabaliktaran no'n ang nagyari, pero mayroon naman akong rason. Nagulat ako sa kanyang biglang pagsulpot! At saka, sino rin ba ang mag-aakala na talagang makakausap ko ulit siya?

"I'm sorry," maagap niyang sabi. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"O-okay lang," sabi ko na lang at gusto kong sapakin ang sarili dahil sa aking pagkautal.

Calm yourself, Keanna Amelie!

"I mean, ayos lang. Pasok na ako," mas maayos at pormal kong sabi.

Agad ko siyang tinalikuran upang makapasok na sa loob ng room. Grabe ang pagkabog ng aking dibdib bawat paghakbang ko lalo na't nararamdaman kong kasunod ko lamang si Gavin sa pagpasok. Buhagyang kumalma lamang ito no'ng lumiko na siya patungo sa upuan kung saan siya nakapuwesto noong isang araw.

Nang mapalingon ako sa kanyang gawi ay sakto rin ang kanyang paglingon sa akin. This time, he already smiled at me unlike what happened the other day where he would just look at me so indifferently—like he didn't know me at all.

Tipid akong ngumiti pabalik sa kanya. I took a deep breath before I kept myself busy with the book that I brought for me to read during breaks.

I reminded myself of the advices that Erin gave me last night so, I did my best to keep my composure while reading my book and waiting for our professor to arrive and start the class. I was so proud of myself when I successfully did it!

"Okay, class...Settle down..." our professor calmly said that made us all attentive to whatever she has to say. "As what I've said during our first meeting, for this semester, your final requirement is a mini thesis and it will be by group."

I nodded my head as a sign that I was listening to her announcement. Hinanda ko na rin ang aking ballpen at notebook kung saan ko sinulat last time ang mga requirements niya this semester.

"As early as now, I want to divide you into groups for your mini thesis, so that, you could already discuss your topic and objectives," she continued. "Ayokong magahol kayo sa oras kaya mas magandang masimulan niyo na ito ng maaga. Para wala na rin kayong magagawang excuse na marami kayong ginagawa dahil maaga ko naman na sa inyo ito binigay. You have plenty of time to work on your mini thesis. This is to train you for your final thesis in order to graduate kaya sana ay seryosohin ninyo. Naiintindihan ninyo ba?"

We all said in unison. Our professor smiled at us before she opened her clearbook to look on our class list.

"Since we are still under adjustment period, kung sino muna ang nandito sa class list ay igu-grupo ko na. Kapag mayroong dumagdag o nabawas, we will adjust. We just need to be very flexible," sabi niya habang minamarkahan ang class list gamit ang lapis. "Let me take time while I group you randomly."

I could hear my classmates quietly whispering to each other, wishing that they would be in one group with their friends. Hindi ko alam sa sarili ko kung papangarapin ko bang magkasama kami ni Gavin sa isang grupo o huwag na lang dahil baka mailang lamang ako at baka hindi pa ako makatulong ng maayos sa aming mini thesis.

After a few minutes, our professor was finally done with groupings us in her class list. I bit my lower lip while waiting for her to announce my surname.

"Group 3..." she trailed off before she glanced at the class list once again. "Cornejo, Peredo, de Mesa, Savellano, and Alcantara."

Kamuntikan na akong malaglag sa aking upuan nang banggitin ang apilyedo ni Gavin na kabilang sa aking grupo. I didn't know if I should celebrate or what.

"Please go to your groups now. Kilalanin ninyo ang isa't-isa kung hindi pa kayo magkakakilala," sabi ni Ma'am Castañeda nang matapos na niyang banggitin ang mga magkakagrupo.

Gavin and his friend were both in our group. Aside from them, I also know Rizelle Cornejo. She's been my classmate before in some of my subjects. Ang ngayon ko lang naging kagrupo ay itong Savellano, pero madalas ko nang nadidinig ang kanyang pangalan sa aming campus dahil isa siya sa mga hinahangaan na estudyante rito sa campus. She's one of the famous crushes. She also came from an elite family just like Gavin. Her father's a politician, while her mother's also a professor here in our university.

"Aba! Ang gaganda naman ng mga kagrupo ko," pabirong sabi ng kaibigan ni Gavin nang makalapit na silang dalawa.

Parang natigil ako sa paghinga nang hinila ni Gavin ang isang bakanteng upuan patungo sa aking tabi. His friend fakely coughed and smiled in a crazy way.

When I resumed breathing, I was able to smell Gavin's expensive and manly smell. Pigil na pigil akong ngumiti bilang reaksyon sa bango niya at sa pag-upo niya sa aking tabi.

"Keanna! Buti magkagrupo tayo!" masayang sabi ni Rizelle nang umupo siya sa aking kabilang side.

Charlotte Savellano took the sit just across Gavin. Hindi ko maiwasang punahin ang kanyang eleganteng pag-upo sa upuan. She's too feminine for me. Maybe she was raised to be prim and proper, especially because she was carrying the name of her father. She has a reputation to protect.

Nang dumating siya ay parang may naki-grupong anghel sa amin dahil sa sobrang tahimik. Pati si Rizelle ay hindi malaman kung magsasalita ba siya o hindi. Gavin was quiet, as usual. Ako rin naman ay hindi pala-salita lalo na kung hindi ko masyadong feel ang mga kasama ko. Mabuti na lang at makapal ang mukha nang kaibigan ni Gavin.

"Ano na?" natatawang tanong niya. "Magtitigan na lang ba tayo rito? Hindi naman ako na-inform na may staring contest pala."

Kita kong nagpipigil ng ngiti si Gavin at inilingan ang kaibigan. Mas lalo namang umayos sa pagkakaupo si Charlotte bago nagsalita.

"Why don't we start by introducing ourselves first?" she said with a light British accent. "Since I don't know you all, except for Gavin, of course..."

She turned to Gavin with a very sweet smile on her face. I couldn't help but to slightly pout thinking that she might also like Gavin the way I do. Judging by the way she looked at him, it's not impossible.

"Well, I guess, I don't need to introduce myself so, shall we start with you?" she pointed at Rizelle.

Humalukipkip naman siya at saka matamang tiningnan si Charlotte. "Rizelle." simpleng sabi niya ng kanyang pangalan.

"Keanna Amelie." pagsunod ko. "Keanna na lang."

Awtomatiko akong lumingon kay Gavin dahil siya na ang susunod na magpapakilala.

"I'm Gavin," he said with his baritone voice.

Charlotte lightly chuckled that caught our attention. She was even covering her mouth with her hand while chuckling.

"You didn't have to introduce yourself anymore, Gavin," she said. "For sure these two girls here already know you. I mean, sino ba ang hindi, 'di ba?"

Kinagat ko ang aking pang-ibabang labi dahil hindi ko nagugustuhan ang lumalabas sa kanyang mga salita. She sounded so sophisticated and kinda insulting.

"Still... I think it's best to introduce myself in order to pay respect and be fair with these two lovely women," he countered.

Namamangha kong binalingan ulit ng tingin si Gavin. Nilingon niya rin ako at saka ako binigyan ng tipid na ngiti.

Why is he so admirable? Wala ata siyang katangian na puwede kong ayawan.

"Oh... My bad." Charlotte said before she smiled and looked at us with her chin up. "If that's the case, I'll also introduce myself. I'm Charlotte Savellano. I hope that we could all be friends."

"Ah... Ikaw pala si Charlotte."

Napalingon ako kay Rizelle. She's wearing stoic expression while looking at Charlotte. Kita ko ring bahagyang nabigla si Charlotte sa pagsasalita ni Rizelle.

"Good thing you introduced yourself. Hindi kasi kita kilala," sabi na lang ni Rizelle at ngumiti.

I didn't know if she's bluffing or not, but Rizelle could be a b!tch sometimes. It's either she wanted to piss her off or she didn't really know her at all.

Gavin's friend snorted. Napalingon kaming lahat sa kanya. Mukhang pigil na pigil siya sa pagtawa ngunit agad namang naiayos ang sarili bago nagpakilala.

"Leandrei," he simply introduced himself. "But you, guys, can call me Drei."

After our awakward introductions, we discussed amongst us our preffered topic for the mini thesis. Pagdating naman sa pag-uusap dito ay seryoso kaming lahat at mabilis pa kaming nagkasundo lalo na nang sinang-ayunan naming lahat ang sinuggest ni Gavin. The topic he suggested was feasible and he was willing to shoulder the expenses that we might need for this mini thesis.

Hindi naman napalalim ang aming usapan at pahapyaw pa lamang ang aming napagkasunduan dahil hindi rin sapat ang amin oras. The class was already ended.

"Let's just talk about our thesis some other time. I'll create a group chat on Faceböök for us to communicate from time to time," sabi ni Charlotte habang isisusukbit ang mamahaling shoulder ba sa kanyang braso.

Nagsitanguan kaming lahat bilang pagsang-ayon sa sinabi ni Charlotte. Inayos ko na rin ang aking gamit para makaalis na nang sakto namang nagvibrate ang akin cellphone para sa text ni Jethro.

From: Jethro

Hindi ko nasabi sa'yong hindi ako makakapasok ngayon. May kinailangan lang akong asikasuhin.

"Break mo na rin ba, Gavin? Sabay na tayo," dinig na dinig ko ang lambing sa boses ni Charlotte nang ayain niya si Gavin.

"I still have one class before my break," Gavin rejected her with a very valid reason.

Nagtiim-bagang ako. Kung wala ba siyang kasunod na klase pagkatapos nito ay sasama siya kay Charlotte?

Agad akong pinanghinaan ng loob habang iniisip na baka ganoon nga ang mangyari kung sakaling wala siyang kasunod na klase. Iniwala ko na lang ang sarili ko sa usapan nila at tinago ang cellphone sa bag para makaalis na papunta sa susunod kong klase, ngunit hindi pa rin nakatakas sa akin ang kanilang huling pagpapalitan ng mga salita.

"Well, I can wait for you after yout next class. I have 3 hours break before my next class for today," Charlotte said and her voice remained sweet that sounded so inviting.

"I'm sorry, but I have other plans. Now, if you'll excuse me—"

I didn't hear the rest of the words he said, but I was completely satisfied when I heard him turned her down. Wala sa sarili akong napangiti. Ayos na ako roon. Nakahinga na ako ng maluwang.

"Keanna, wait."

I stopped impulsively just like a car which was suddenly stepped on the brakes. Before I could even look back at Gavin, he already appeared in front of me in a flash. His hair was slightly messed up compared to the way it was styled earlier, but he still looked handsome as ever.

"Do you still have class?" he asked me.

Tahimik naman akong tumango habang tulala pa rin sa kanyang presensya sa aking harapan.

"Anong oras ang break mo?" sunod niyang tanong sa akin.

"Uh...Pagkatapos nitong susunod na klase ko," nag-aalangan kong sagot.

He smiled and smiled in relief when he heard my answer. "Can I invite you for a lunch, then?" he asked and I wasn't sure if he really did sound hopeful or I was just assuming. "We can eat outside or inside the campus. Kung saan mo gusto, doon tayo."

Napalunok ako at nanatiling nakatingin sa kanya na parang tanga. Sobrang bilis ng pagtibok ng aking puso. Nanunuyo rin ang aking lalamunan. Hindi ako makasagot agad.

"H-Ha?"

I almost wanted to slap myself because of my response. Ano ba, Keanna?! Umayos ka nga! You're so obvious!

"Ang ibig kong sabihin... b-bakit?" agad kong pasunod bago pa ako mas lalong magmukhang tanga.

"Uh... Guess I just really want to eat lunch with you," sabi niya naman. "But if you have other plans, it's fine with me. We can just eat some other time—"

"Okay," maagap kong sabi bago pa niya makatapos sa pagsaaalita.

He was slightly stunned. Ilang segundo rin siyang napatitig sa akin bago sumilay ang ngiti sa kanyang labi. Bahagya akong nag-iwas ng tingin. Pakiramdam ko'y maiihi ako sa kilig kapag tinitigan ko siya nang matagal habang nakangiti.

"So, can I have your number, then?" paghingi niya sa aking numero kaya muli akong napabaling sa kanya. "I'll call or text you after our class. Para alam ko kung saan kita pupuntahan."

Dahan-dahan akong tumango sa kanya. Agad niyang ibinigay sa akin ang kanyang mamahaling cellphone na mas malaki pa sa aking palad. Maingat ko itong hinawakan sa takot na baka mabagsak ko ito at masira. Alam kong mamahalin ito na mas mataas pa ang presyo kaysa sa aming tuition fee sa isang semester. Ito ang madalas na brand ng cellphone ng mga mayayaman at nakaka-angat sa buhay.

"Save your number on my phone," he said.

Muli akong tumango at nagsimulang pindutin nang isa-isa ang labing-isang numero na bumubuo sa aking cellphone number. I simply save my number on his contacts with my first name with my surname, Keanna Peredo.

Pagkabalik ko sa kanya ng cellphone ay tinitigan niya iyon bago pumindot ng ilang beses. Hindi rin nagtagal ay nadinig ko ang pagtunog ng aking cellphone. Wala sa sarili ko iyong tiningnan mula sa aking bag at nakitang unknown number ang tumatawag. Pagka-angat ko ng tingin kay Gavin ay pinakita niya sa akin ang kanyang cellphone na tumatawag sa akin.

"Just making sure..." he whispered and chuckled. "Anyway, hope you'll also save my number.".

"Oo naman," sabi ko sa kanya.

He smiled got wider. "Great! See you at lunch?"

Ngiting-ngiti na rin akong tumango sa kanya. Nababaliw na ata talaga ako. Pakiramdam ko ay katapusan ko na. Wala na. Hulog na hulog na ako at hindi ko alam kung mapipigilan ko pa ba ito.