the Officer and his Beauty

Chapter 25

Nate’s pov

I was still struggling when the door opened again, and Madison walked in with a pile of neatly folded clothes.

My heart hurt when she didn’t look at me again; she really had been working hard back at my place, and nobody had given her any thanks, just Nana being a b***h. Me sticking my head as far up my ass as I could.

“You are really good at that… folding, I mean….” f**k! That sounded so stupid when she made a surprised face and smirked at what I said, still standing by the door.

“Thanks, I have a year of college in design, but… I dropped out….” She smiled and looked sad when I was confused and turned around, not just wanting to see her in the big mirror in the center of the room.

“Why? You are good at it, and I’m not talking about folding! I mean, I saw what you have done back at Nana's, even if she hasn’t… the place looks better, and I don’t even know how you did it….” Madison looked proud, making my heart start to swell. Seeing her happy face again, I wanted her to always have that. I never wanted her to suffer again, never.

“I just threw some stuff out, cleaned and rearranged things; it’s not rocket science….” She blushed when I grinned at her. No, she was good at what she did, even if it was just rearranging stuff; not everyone could.

“Still, you should keep going; I know the community college might have some classes like that. it’s not the same things at the Ivy League you probably were at, but it’s something….” I don’t even know why I sounded so passionate about her returning to school; I just wanted her to do something more than just be sad and hate me.

“Nate… just shower…. It doesn’t matter….” She made a trying smile when I caught her eyes and just looked at her begging again; no, I wanted to know…I wanted to know everything about her: what made her happy and sad, what she liked most in the world, her favorite colors, how many kids she wanted to have, and what her favorite food was!

Madison was just about to leave when I took her hand in mine, just held it when she got stiff; I wasn’t going to grab her or anything like that; I wanted her to start trusting me again like she did a week ago before I blew it big time.

“You aren’t a blonde?” I made my voice softer and curious when she raised her dark eyebrow like that was my question. I know it was stupid, but it was a start. She didn’t want to talk about why she dropped out, and I wasn’t pushing her, but the blonde part I could touch.

“Yeah, no…. it’s all fake… just like the rest of me….” She made a weak, sarcastic smile that I didn’t answer; she was not fake! I clenched my jaw, trying not to pull her inside my arms and tell her that repeatedly until she understood.

“You’re not fake, Maddie, not to me….” She looked up when I said that, and I saw something real for the first time since I got over the ledge. It made me hold my breath and want to die all over again; she was hurt—so much more than I ever had cared to see before.

Suddenly, she just let my hand go, like she had finally understood what I was trying to do, and pulled her mask back on, the same one that she had been wearing for as long as she had been staying at my place, maybe even longer. Who really knew?

“Just stop it… whatever you think will happen here, Nate… just forget it… you still told me to my face that you were going to f**k that …. girl that Nana brought in.” she looked fierce suddenly, and I was defeated. I did say that….

“I’m sorry…. I f****d up, and I know it…. I’m sorry for what happened downstairs… If you want to punch my guts or something like that, I won’t stop you.” I looked up at her from staring at the floor, ashamed when she made a hurt face again like she couldn’t believe I had just said that to her.

“Hurt you? Why would I want to hurt you, Nate…?” She sighed deeply as if she wanted to say more but didn’t. My heart went crazy from nowhere. She said my name twice now, and she looked like she didn’t want to leave. I felt the same way.

“Because I deserve it. For everything.” I sounded surer now when she made a confused face like she didn’t understand what I was talking about anymore. She held her arms around herself, making me want to reach out and grab her again; something triggered that inside me when I saw her. I had never felt that way about anyone, not even Mel.

“You don’t.” she didn’t say more when I exhaled, waiting for her to start punching me; she could do it. I had no doubt about that. Following her tight, slender body, she caught me staring again, but I wasn’t hiding that I wanted her, not to anyone.

“I don’t?” she made a face like she was already regretting saying it when she got closer. I swear that I just wanted to grab her when she started to unbutton the three buttons on my shirt and smirked, feeling my hard-on against her body like she didn’t know just how much I wanted her by now.

“No.” she didn’t wait any longer when she pulled the shirt over my head with some struggle. Whatever she was feeling got lost when she saw the bruising that had started forming on my shoulders and arms; well, I popped a vein on my left side, which hurt like hell.

“OMG, Nate! We need to get you to a hospital, like right now!” she was panicking when I just made a smile, maybe, but I didn’t care; she was worth it, all of it.

“Calm down, cutie; I’m not in a hurry. I can’t climb anymore, no matter how much I want to….” She just looked like she was really worried now, making circles with her nails like she always did, making me grunt from just how good that felt.

“I didn’t climb to get in; I just walked through the door?” she looked at me, confused when I made a snicker when she looked so cute; of course, she did.

“You got lucky, I saw some guys stationed here, but they maybe had a guard shift rotation when you walked inside, or they would have tossed your ass out….” I stopped when she was gritting her teeth; I had pissed her off again; why was the unique talent I had in the girls I dated?

“No! This is my home; why can’t they understand that!? Mine, not theirs!?” Madison wanted heads to roll, and I had no way of helping her. That sucked.

“I know… I know it is…. But it’s the law, Madison. Your dad did something, and you can’t do anything until the investigation is over….” I hated that she looked at me like it was my fault she couldn’t live here anymore, and I didn’t blame her for that either. I mean, come on, look at this place! It was a mansion, and she was a princess living in squalor with my evil Nana and me, like f*****g Cinderella!

“f**k!” she didn’t seem to care that she could alert anyone when I just looked guilty at her. I hated that she was suffering; it was my fault, or I had a big part. I was just closing my eyes on how Nana and everyone else were acting toward her; she didn’t deserve hate.

“I hate this! I HATE IT!” she was gritting her teeth and just pacing back and forth in the huge bathroom that was hers; she did not seem to calm down when I didn’t care anymore, she was freaking out, and she thought she was alone in the world when she wasn’t, not anymore.

“Maddie!” I grabbed her and just pulled her inside my arms; she was trying so hard not to cry when I pushed her closer; she wasn’t even struggling against me; that’s upset she was when I felt her small chest just take deep, jagged breaths and start to cry against me, f**k that felt awful and good at the same time.

Not that she was hurt, but the part of her trusting me enough to comfort her even if I had been the biggest asshole to her today. She was so much more than I would ever be. She was already starting to forgive me, and I didn’t deserve it by a long shot.

I just held her when she seemed to run from tears and stare to calm down. Her big blue eyes looked up at me, wanting me to save her. I looked back, giving her everything I wanted to do: help and protect her. Whatever she needed, I would do it for her.

“Just... let’s go back to Nana… she probably is having a panic attack….” She wiped her eyes, and I made a grimmer face. I didn’t want to return; I was serious about that part and was not going back to Nana.

“No.” she made a shocked face; she really was when I smiled at her and took the courage to caress her face with my hand; she didn’t see that one coming, did she?

“Why? She needs you….” She looked like she meant it when I was confused. Didn’t she hate Nana? She saw my puzzled frown, sighed like she hadn’t cried her eyes just ten minutes ago, and then looked up at me thoughtfully.

“I didn’t leave because of Nana…. Nate, I left because of you; I told you. I can take her being a b***h to me; you are the one that made me feel hurt and unwelcome….” She stopped, and I felt the hard punch in my gut from her honest words…. She did tell me that… f**k…

“I just can’t go back… I had a f*****g awakening when you left….and I said some s**t… all true…but I don’t want to stay there anymore…” She made a surprised face again when I looked amused and sad. I was really trying to show her that I finally got it; she wanted me not to be such a f*****g coward I have been so far, and I was not letting her down!

“You have to….” She started to try to back away from me like she was just waiting for me to leave; that was not happening!

“I don’t have to do anything anymore; I just want to be with you! When are you going to get that, Maddie?! “She gasped hearing me getting angry and didn’t struggle when I took her back, her slender body against mine; that felt better than anything.

“I think I love you, and I don’t care that it's crazy and too soon…” She inhaled again, seeing that I was serious because I was; there was a deep feeling inside me when she was around me, like something I had never felt before I met her; I loved her.

“Nate…. Just because we had s*x and you like me doesn’t make it love….” She seemed not to believe me, making my heart dive. Didn’t she love me back?! I was so sure she did, and she was just looking at me like I was crazy for even feeling like that against her.

“Yes, it does. I’m serious, Madison; I love you!” She was looking at me; her eyes were misty and distant, making me feel even worse. Was I just being f*****g delusional here that she was feeling it too, whatever it was between us?!

“Do you? Or do you just love what you see?” She didn’t look upset this time; she was curious and content, like what she was expecting from me. I just wanted her because she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen; it wasn’t!

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?! Yeah, I think you are so f*****g hot and all that, but that’s not all; it just isn’t!” she just smirked now, making me even angrier, ignoring the searing pain in my arms and shoulders when I was tensing them from her not even believe me, that was just some bullshit!

“Nate, I don’t think you know what you are saying…. Whatever happened between you and Nana… you can’t love me; you don’t know me that well...” She was looking upset, like she couldn’t understand that I was here, climbed up her f*****g balcony, and said I loved her like that never could happen! It just did, and I was not backing down on it!

“You can’t decide what I feel, Madison. That’s not how that works, and this is me telling you that I do love you. even if it’s crazy and stupid!” She flinched from hearing me having a dark, serious voice; she probably thought I would get angry and yell; surprise, I didn’t.

“Nate…what you are saying right now, it's scaring the crap out of me...” She was biting her lip and looked scared and longing. Did she think that I wasn’t afraid? I told a girl I could have any guy out there, and I loved her after she ran from me. Trust me; I was shaking!

“Yeah, same here; I’m scared as hell over here! I'm scared you will just laugh in my face and throw me out again….” She smiled at the end of my words, which made me follow before she walked the last step back to me and just looked up like this was crazy, and believe me, it was.

“I think I love you too, Nate...” Madison smiled more when our hearts were racing; we were close, her arms around me, and we were just staring at each other with some stupid understanding that didn't make sense. Still, I didn't care, not as long as she was inside my arms.