The Diary

Psycho Slut

24 September 2019 :

Dear diary , I hardly slept last night , after the basement incident . A lot of questions were juggling in my mind . Was I hallucinating last night ? Or was it real ? Shall I tell anyone about it ? Even if I did so will anyone believe me ? What if a lady was really captivated in the basement ? There was blood for sure , that was not a hallucination . My clothes were stained in blood . I have to find the truth for that i will have to go in the basement . But I am too scared . I can't go in there alone . Early morning today I gathered up

all the courage that I had and went outside the basement ,  I even opened the lock, but I didn't dared to step a leg in . There were no faint cries . This means everything I saw last night was a hallucination . And obviously it couldn't be true .

Last night ruined all my fantasies for a happy future . I was in no mood to go to school today so I texted Peter . Lizze went to her friends house so I was all alone . Actually I was not scared of being alone , rather I was scared of not being alone . There was a sudden knock on the door . These knocks are certainly going to give me a heart attack someday. I called out but no one responded . I turned to walk back to my room but someone knocked again . I took the name of Jesus Christ and opened the door ,

Tyler ( shouts ) " Surprise ! ! ! ! ! !  "

Kate " oh jeez , Tyler you scared the hell out of me , what are you doing here ?  Aren't you supposed to be in the college . "

Tyler " I can ask you the same question young lady ,  aren't you supposed to be in the college .  "

Kate " I was not well today .  "

Tyler " What happened to you ? Are you fine ? Do you want me to take you to the doctor ? "

Kate " No , I am fine , it was just headache . "

Tyler " Oh I was worried about you . "

Kate " You were worried about me . "

Tyler " Why won't I be , moreover I thought that you are trying to avoid me . "

Kate " Why will I avoid you ? "

Tyler " I don't know you tell , I thought that maybe you are angry about what happened between us yesterday . "

Kate " No I am not angry about the you didn't forced me . "

Tyler " Actually I was not talking about the kiss , I meant that you didn't wanted to help me with history .  "

Kate " Oh ! that , no , no , no , why will I be angry about that . "

Tyler " By the way it was about the kiss also , so you don't mind it , it was just casual , right . "

Kate " Yes , of course it was just causal  . Nothing to worry . "

Tyler " So you are saying that it didn't meant anything to you cause it did meant something to me  . "

Kate " No it did , I mean that , Uhhhh ! I see what you are trying to do here .  I got it you are trying to trap me in your words . "

Tyler " Won't you ask me in , See I have got you some flowers and this history book . "

Kate " Oh I am so sorry , come on in ,  follow me my room is upstairs . I will keep the flowers over here , you know roses are my favourite . "

Tyler " So this is your room . "

Kate " Yup ! It's a bit messy . Actually I was un packing . Don't mind it . "

Tyler " It's beautiful , it just smells like you . "

Kate " You stay here , I will get us something to drink . "

Tyler " No , No I am good , stay here . "

Kate " So which chapter do you want to study , I think we should go for the second one . "

Tyler kept his finger on my lips .

Tyler " Do you really want to study ? "

Kate " What do you mean , Aren't you here to study ? "

Tyler " That was just an excuse , I can't stop thinking about you , I feel like I am going about you . The first time I saw you , I thought that you are the most beautiful girl in this whole world . "

He touched my face and then glided his hands down my curves . It felt like he was touching every nerve of my body . He then came close , grabbed me by my waist and pulled me closer and brought his lips close to mine and then whispered " I think I like you Kate " and the he slidded his lips against mine .

He was running his left hand through my hair and was holding my boobs with his right hand . He touched my shoulders and then passed his fingertips all the way down my body . He took off his t - shirt . I no longer cared about anything , I just wanted to get lost in the moment. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

I touched his hair as he laid fast asleep beside me . Maybe he was the key to my happy future . But then I had a thought ,  What if Tyler got to know about all this ? He can't live with a psycho girl who hallucinate about her long dead mother . I think I will have to let go of him .

I am cursed . I can't live a normal life like other teenagers . I can't have a boyfriend , I can't dream of a future . Last time when I had hallucinations of my mother , I ended up hurting my dad . He said that I hitted him with a golf stick . Again the worst part , I don't remember hurting people . I can't take the risk of hurting Tyler . He is so good to me . I think I will have to let him go . Not just Tyler but also Peter , Lily ,  Noah . Armanda says that my bad luck hits the people that come close to me . May be she is right . Maybe I am doomed to live alone .

I wondered if I could change who I am and live like someone new , someone without a past . Maybe now it wasn't that difficult because now I had Tyler by my side . So I cuddled him and went off to sleep . I woke up after an hour or so and he was not there , his stuffs were also not there Why did he left ? It was strange

but I thought that I already have so much confusion in my life , and there is no space for a new one . Maybe he had some urgent work and he didn't wanted to wake me . It's sweet right , he thought about me . I will ask him when I will meet him tomorrow .

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25 SEPTEMBER 2019 :

Dear diary , I ones read somewhere don't make someone your priority when you are only there option , today I realized it's true meaning.  Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real . Well I have a lot of scars . I tried hard to cover them and ignore them but I failed . My scar , my past reminds me that I am doomed . And that is  my reality . You can try to hide your reality but you cant escape it . It keeps haunting you . For a moment I felt that maybe I could be happy , maybe I could lead a normal life but that was just my fantasy . Reality is like the sun and fantasy is like the darkness . As soon as the reality sets in fantasy sets out .

What is a nightmare ? Is it the horrific dream that you see when you are asleep , no , it's the reality that awaits for you when you are awake . Yesterday ended last night and today was different . We live in a fantasy world , a world of illusion . The greatest task is to find the reality . Everyone around us where a mask , they try to present themselves like someone they are not .

I spend the last night thinking about Tyler , thinking about us , what are future could be like . I waited for the sun to rise so that I can see him again . I woke up before the alarm . I know it will sound very stupid but I just for a while and wondered which colour Tyler might wear today so that I can do twinning with him . I ended up chosing a black outfit .

I tried to bake some cookies for Tyler but I ended up burning them all . So I thought I will buy some cupcakes for him . A sweet start of a new chapter of our lives .

I asked peter to come a bit early so that we could make a stop at the bakery ,

Peter " Hey ,  am I late why are you waiting out . "

Kate " No , you are not late I was just taking in some fresh air . "

Peter " Why did you ask me to come early , is everything fine ? "

Kate " Yes everything is fine , actually I wanted to make a stop by the bakery , I have to fetch some cupcakes "

Peter " Is it your birthday . "

Kate " No , don't talk so much , move now  . "

Peter "  Okay ma'am as you say , The Beanery is famous for it's homemade cupcakes . "

We stopped by the beanery , I didn't knew Tyler's favourite flavors , so I got all the flavors that were available . There was a sudden moment of anguish , I wondered why didn't he try to reach me after what happened yesterday . Wasn't it special for him ? Or was he too shy to talk about it ? Maybe he had some urgent work to deal to , but he could take out at least a minute to text me . I tried to convince myself literally by giving a thousand of lame excuses . My eyes searched for him as soon as I entered school premices. " Look, there he stands beside his locker . " He wore a black jacket over a blue t - shirt , he looked like a stud . I could not move my eyes from his jawline . How could someone be so perfect ? He was on call , then he looked at me and gave me a smile . Oh my god I was blushing . He was

coming towards me . I checked my hair to make sure that they were perfect , maybe he will kiss me . I checked my breath just to make sure I wasn't smelling . As he was coming close my heart started beating with double speed . I was about to call out to him but then guess what he crossed me , he ignored me like he didn't even knew me . He hugged some girl who was standing beside me at some distance . It's okay he must have not seen me so what if he was coming towards my direction , he must have missed the sight of me . He just hugged her maybe she was his friend , even I hugged Peter but that was a casual friend thing , the same goes for him. But then he kissed her , he pulled her closer and closer and glided his hands down her body and rested them on her hips . The girl was running her hand through his hair . And it was not a friendly thing , it was a deep , passionate kiss . I was about to put my hand on his shoulder but then the girl held his hand and took him somewhere , I decided to follow them . She took him to the music room and locked the gate , I had to see what was happening , I peeped in through the window and I saw the girl was sitting on Tyler's lap , her top was half open . They were literally eating each other's face , Tyler was pressing her boobs which made her moan a little . They saw me , I panicked ,  I should have gone from there but my legs froze . She opened the gate and they both came out ,

I said " Tyler who is she . "

Tyler " She is my girlfriend Betty . "

Betty " It doesn't matter who i am but who are you b***h and why were you peeping in . "

Kate " Tyler is my boyfriend . "

Betty " What the hell is she saying , I just went out of town for a few days and you made a new girlfriend , Are you cheating on me . "

Tyler " No baby you know how much I love you , I cant even think of cheating on you , I don't even know who this girl is . "

My neck chocked , I was not able to breath , I said " So you go around sleeping with all the girls you don't even know . "

Betty " Tyler you slept with her , I can even believe this , I am going . "

Tyler " Betty listen to me , Bet. . . . . . . . . . . .. . ..   , see what you did, my girlfriend left because of you . "

Kate " What's my problem , you slept with me and now you are ignoring and suddenly I come to know that you have a girlfriend and you are asking what's my problem . "

Tyler " What makes you think that I will sleep with you and even if I did consider yourself lucky girls die to sleep with me . "

I was burning in anger , I slapped him .

Tyler " You slapped me , how dare you psycho , now just wait and watch I will make your life more miserable than hell , I know everything about you ,  your syndrome . Now see what I will do to you  "

Tyler left me speechless , I didn't knew what to think or what to feel , I wished that may the building falls and crush me beneath it . I felt like nothing worse can happen now . But my destiny proved me wrong ones again . I went to the history class and everything was strange . Everyone was just staring me and laughing , I thought that maybe it was because I slapped Tyler . It was very annoying , everyone was just staring at me , even Tyler it seemed like he and his friends were talking about something . Then I got a notification , it was from Tyler , it was some list . Oh my god it was the same list Peter told me about my name was on the list I was labelled as a ' Psycho Slut ', Tyler said that he knew about the syndrome but how come, I did not tell anything about it to anyone except Peter ! He ruined my life       . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .