BROKEN & SCREWED (BS #1)

Chapter 4-2

When I got to the baseball fields that night, it was after ten. We couldn’t leave until the mall closed, and Ben insisted that I drive him to his house first. He needed a ride and wanted my opinion on the jeans he had chosen to go with his perfect shirt. I didn’t care. After seeing ten different jeans that had jewels on the back pockets, I finally lied and picked one. In truth, as we got out of my car and headed toward the fields, Ben didn’t look half bad.

He seemed happy as I pulled into the almost full parking lot, though he wasn’t really trying to hide his excitement or the huge smile on his face. He confessed that he had always wanted to attend an event with my girlfriends and me. Apparently we were the “it” girls for the next year.

I had no idea what he meant, but I nodded.

As we approached the fields, they were lit and all five of them were filled with teams. The steel bleachers in between were also filled to the maximum. The fences that separated the fields from the crowd had lounge chairs lined up two deep from the bleachers to the end of the field.

When we stepped around the concessions, I heard my name shouted and looked around.

Eric Nathan grinned at me as he gestured from inside the concessions stand.

Ben leaned close and whispered, “I knew it was true. I heard a rumor that he wanted to ask you out since his girlfriend broke up with him. He’s making his move!”

I nudged him back and moved forward. “Hey, Eric.”

“Hi!” He had a friendly smile on his face. As he skimmed over my shoulder and saw Ben behind me, it slipped a bit. Then he ran a hand through his sandy-blond hair. His blue eyes seemed to sparkle even more as his perfect teeth flashed me a smile. “I’m glad to see you here. I didn’t know if you’d come.”

“Right.” I frowned at him.

“Because, you know, because Hunt is the reason for tonight, but . . .” He frowned and heaved a deep sigh. “I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t say anything. I don’t really know what I’m talking about.”

Ben hummed behind me again. His whole body vibrated and I knew he was excited as he whispered in my ear, “He’s so cute. He likes you.”

I shoved him backward.

“Shut up.”

I glared at him and turned back to Eric, whose frown deepened, but then he shook it off and gave me another grin. “You want a soda?”

“I would love one.”

I stayed there for a while. Eric was nice. He was a jock from my grade with a lot of friends. Angie and Marissa would have given him the green light. To be honest, in another time and place I might have, too. Then, I looked up and saw Jesse on the field. He had hit another home run. The crowd cheered as he rounded the bases. My heart faltered for a second.

There was no emotion on his face. His mouth was flat. His eyes were focused in front of him as he rounded each base. When he soared over home plate, his teammates met him and took their turn clapping him on the back. He had a smile on his face. There was no doubt about that, but it never reached his eyes. And no one else besides me would’ve known that he didn’t care if he hit zero home runs or twenty.

Then his eyes met mine, and I jerked awake.

“Something wrong?” Eric asked, but his voice was at a distance.

Thirty people separated us, but it didn’t matter. Jesse stared at me, and I stared back. I needed him. I hungered for him and when his eyes darkened, I knew he felt the same. Then I turned and bid my farewell to Eric. It didn’t matter how nice he was. I knew where I’d be that night. A shiver of anticipation went through me. It sizzled my skin, and I felt exhilarated as I found Angie and Marissa in a group behind the players’ seats.

Angie was on her feet, clapping loudly. “Come on, Justin! Come on. One more! One more, baby!”

Marissa smirked at me. “You’d think he was in the pros.”

Angie flashed us a glare. “Shut up. That’s my man, and I’m supporting him. You all should take lessons. This is what you do when you love someone unconditionally. You clap and cheer like a mad woman, and you don’t complain one bit. That’s what it’s like.”

“You look crazy?” I grinned at her.

Angie sobered but then rolled her eyes. “Yes, or at least that’s what Justin wants. So I’m here cheering like a crazy woman. Whatever. I love that man. I’ll cheer until I get arrested if that’s what he wants.”

I took the lawn chair beside Marissa, and we watched Angie more than the game. She whooped, booed, and yelled with the best of them. I thought she was going to break out in her own cheer at one point, but when she collapsed in her lawn chair, I sighed in relief. I didn’t know if I would’ve cheered with her or hid from embarrassment.

Ben had gone to see some of his friends, but he returned for the last few innings and took the seat beside Marissa. When Justin’s team won seventeen to five, no one was surprised. Jesse had been on the team. We picked up our lawn chairs and waited to find out where the next game would commence.

Close to midnight, I returned to the concessions stand. The line had tripled since we first arrived.

“Well, hello, Jesse’s slut!”

I froze for a split second, but turned. Casey Wright gave me a smug smirk as she stood with her friends behind her. All of them had their hair up in braids or styled to look cute as they wore baseball caps. And, of course, they wore tee shirts tied underneath their breasts and low-riding jeans.

When I saw her shirt had Jesse’s number, I took a breath. What was going to happen here?

Eric had popped his head out of the concession stand when he saw me, but now he faltered. I knew he had heard her.

“What do you want, Casey?”

She snorted in disbelief. “Are you kidding me? Leave Jesse alone.”

I sighed. When would she learn? “He’s going away, Casey. You have no shot.”

“And you do?”

“I never said I did.”

She snorted again and flipped her hair over her shoulder. Some of it trailed out from the back of her cap. Her emerald eyes were disgusted. “Are you kidding me, Alex? I told you what would happen if you got me as an enemy.”

“Oh yeah? And what’s that?” Angie surged forward from behind me. Her hands found her hips and her lips were in a snarl. Marissa was right next to her. Both of them looked fierce.

Casey eyed them wearily. “Really? The three of you against me?”

Marissa snorted. “Do you really think you’re all that? You’re second line, Casey. Get behind us.”

Her eyes snapped in irritation. “I am not second line. How dare you say that?”

Marissa’s tiny body was tense, and she looked ready to hurl herself at the girl, but she threw her chin forward. Her arms crossed over her chest and she glared. The loathing in her eyes sent me backwards a step. “Are you f*****g kidding me? You’re always second line. You got second line in cheerleading. You’re in the honors class, not the highest honors. You get Bs when I get As. I get the captains and you’re lucky to get a starter. Do I need to keep going?” She threw her arms wide. “You’re second best, Casey. You always will be. Just get used to it and settle back. Shut the hell up, bitch.”

It was at that time that I grew tired of the conversation. Confrontations happened all the time, but it didn’t matter. They had stopped mattering when I lost my brother. It might’ve sounded cliché, but I no longer cared. It was all stupid and senseless.

I edged toward the end of the crowd that had formed and slipped around the corner. I flattened myself against the side of the concessions building and took a few deep breaths. None of it mattered. Nothing. There was more to life. I took a few more deep breaths and tried to calm myself down, but my hands wouldn’t stop shaking. Why was my breathing so labored? Maybe it did matter.

“Hey.”

I calmed instantly and stopped.

Jesse was at the far end of the building. He stepped closer, but he reeked of sweat. Then he took off his cap and shook out his sweaty hair. Droplets splattered on me and he grinned. “Sorry about that.”

I ducked my head to hide my grin. I shouldn’t have been so happy to see him.

Then he leaned an arm beside me, giving me a cocky smirk. “You left real quick this afternoon.”

I jerked a shoulder up. My cheeks were still aflame.

“A guy who was more insecure might’ve thought he wasn’t good in bed.”

I choked out a laugh but smothered it quickly before rolling my eyes at him. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah.” He edged closer.

My smile wiped away. I saw he was. I stood straighter.

His mouth curved up in a grin, but it dipped down again. The smile was faulty. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

He nodded and let out a breath in relief. “Good. That’s good.”

“Are you?”

“What?” He looked back up, surprised.

“Are you okay?” My grin was precious.

Then he choked out a laugh. “Yeah, I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you feel.”

His hand caught my shirt, and I closed my eyes. His hand was so close to me. It curved inward so he could pull me closer. His other hand touched the base of my neck and his fingers spread upward to cup my chin and lift it so I looked in his eyes. He had moved even closer. Then he whispered as his lips brushed against mine. “I only feel with you.”

“I know.” My heart was racing. It pounded in every cell of my body. I was alive in his touch.

His eyes dipped to my lips.

Desire blasted within me. I grew wet between my legs.

He moved closer, pressing against me as he whispered. “Ethan wouldn’t want this.”

I curved a hand up and around the back of his head. This time I was the one who held him in place and I anchored him to look in my eyes. When they snapped to mine, I breathed out, “He’s the reason for this.”

And then his lips were on mine. I surged against him, and as I opened my mouth, I didn’t want to be anywhere else. When Jesse left, a part of me would go with him, but until then, I let myself go. I succumbed to him, and it wasn’t long before he swept an arm around me and held me against him. We both knew where we would end up that night.