keep pushing forward

chapter 7

Jenna.

I groaned as my alarm started going off and rolled to turn in over then I rolled back over cuddling into my warm spot on the bed.

my eyes flew open and a yelp left my mouth when I saw I was wrapped in Shane's arms, he chuckled

" mm morning darling"

I hit his chest trying to get my breathing back normal and he groaned as he pulled me closer to him his eyes never opening as he kissed the top of my head

" you are a little feisty in the mornings"

his deep morning voice made my insides melt

I sighed out letting my body relax into his realizing I was clearly still in his bed, I must have fallen asleep and nothing's crazy happened.

" sorry not used to waking up next to a man"

he chuckled

" how about woman?"

I looked over his face while he still has his eyes closed and smiled, he was so handsome his dark hair fit his tan skin so well. and his big pouty lips framed by his beard, I blushed remembering the way he kissed me. I don't think I've ever been kissed with so much need before.

" I actually wake up to Macy often"

he chuckled

" I figured as much"

he finally opened his eyes as he smiled at me

" how'd you sleep beautiful?"

I bit my lips blushing I felt like a teenager

" pretty good. you?"

his hand ran up the back of my shirt tracing my spin

" perfect"

he breathed out, my body shivering

I reached my hand up and ran it through his thick beard, I'd wanted to do that a few times now but never had the nerve. he watched me for a moment until his eyes closed over as I continued to run my fingers along his jaw

" how are you feeling about this in the day light?"

he asked and I sighed nodding my head

" I'm okay. gonna take some time to get used to it if your really gonna stick around."

he smiled and moved a bit so he was hovering over me his hand now on my bare waist as my shirt moved, he kissed my lips softly and my hands ran over his chest enjoying having him so close to me. his warm big body made me feel things I don't think I'd ever felt. the kiss soon turned heated as our tongues tasting each other. I couldn't stop the giggle that fell from my mouth as I felt his hard member poking me, he chuckled kissing my nose as he fell beside me

" sorry he has a mind of his own"

I looked at him biting my lip I didn't know what to say. I hadn't ever been in the position and I hated that I was to scared to do anything and I also wondered how long it'd take him to get tried of waiting for me to be ready.

he looked over at me and ran his thumb along my eyebrows

" you are thinking way to hard this early in the morning"

I smiled shaking my head and my alarm started going off again. I sighed sitting up

" I've gotta go I can't be late or Jackson will never let me head the end of it"

he chuckled beside me and got up as he walked around looking for his shirt I blushed hard seeing his member in his pants. he was definitely well off in that department from what I could tell, I shook my thoughts and grabbed my shoes.

" you know you can use the bathroom or whatever you need to do"

his voice startled me from my thoughts and I shook my head

" no I'm okay it isn't a long walk to my room"

he nodded as he disappeared into the bathroom coming out a moment later

he kissed my head and took my hand leading me out of his room. we didn't talk as we walked and it wasn't long before we were in front of my door. I didn't know how to do this or what to say so I bit my lip clearing my throat

" I'll see you in a few"

I whispered and he smiled at me lifting my chin and kissing my lips

" definitely. and just breathe please nothing will be different today than it was yesterday"

I nodded and did as he said as I turned to open my door and slipped in.

I leaned on it for a moment calming my heart rate, I felt like a teenager sneaking back.

" look what the cat drug in"

Macy said coming from the bathroom and I laughed shaking my head

" we fell asleep"

she wiggles her brows as I moved around the room looks for my things for the day

" oh I'm sure you took a ride on that fine cowboy"

I threw a pillow at her as she laughed

" we literally fell asleep"

she threw her body on the bed

" but you guys talked?"

I nodded

" and?"

I shrugged

" and he says he's gonna stick around and show me Matthew won't scare him off "

she nodded

" are you dating?"

I threw myself on the bed groaning I needed coffee bad

" no I don't know. we didn't actually say that he just said we'd take things slow and he'd show me he was gonna stick around "

he slapped my butt hard

" well girlfriend get up Jackson will be ready soon and you know it"

I groaned again and got up doing my morning business and getting myself ready.

as I was pulling my hair into a hat there was a knock at the door and we both looked at each other and shrugged.

so I opened it and Matthew walked in with coffee in hand

" morning girls. Jenna I know you hate hotel coffee so while Jackson and I were out getting breakfast we grabbed y'all some."

I smiled taking it from his outstretched hand Thankful for good coffee

" thank you"

" yeah thank you "

Macy said also.

and he nodded seating down a bag

" there some fruit, I know you don't eat breakfast but you need something before we head out"

I smiled nodding

" thank you matt really"

he shrugged putting his hands in his pockets

as there was another knock on the door, this time Matthew was closest so he opened it.

" morning Shane"

" morning Matthew"

the two greeted each other and I didn't think this could get any awkward

" well I'll see y'all out there gotta make sure Jackson didn't eat all my food."

I giggled that was true that boy loves breakfast food.

" thank you again Matthew"

he nodded and walked past Shane who was standing next to the door

" you ladies ready to float the day away?"

he asked breaking the silence I just chugged some coffee, I don't know how to do this. my ex husband being nice because he knows little things about me and then this sweet guy simple trying but what if he gets the wrong idea.

" I definitely am. hopefully uncle Jim has a big cooler packed"

Macy said and Shane chuckled

" knowing him I'm sure he does"

I just finished gathering my things and grabbed a banana to snack on as we all made our way downstairs. Shane grabbed my things from me carrying it as I ate and sipped my coffee

" glad you are eating a little something "

Matthew came up towards us and said as Jackson's body wrapped around mine and I squeezed him back

" yeah figured you are right. can't start drinking on an empty stomach."

he laughed

" definitely not. don't need you getting wild"

I blushed looking down at Jackson and asked how his night was. he was bouncing around ready to go get on the water.

" alright everyone load up and we will get going "

my uncle announced

" can I ride with you mama?"

I shrugged and looked at Matthew.

" I think Macy and I are riding with Shane"

Matthew nodded his head

" I'm catching one with Jim so it's whatever he wanted to do. as long as y'all drive safe"

I nodded and Shane and Jackson took off to his truck. I gave Matthew a small smile, greatful he wasn't making this harder than it needed to be. but at the same time his niceness was a little odd to deal with.

we all loaded up and Macy had Jackson going through his phone looking through the music list.

Shane took my hand and kissed it gently as he backed out of the hotel parking lot.

I couldn't say what I wanted to because Jackson was in the truck and I felt like Shane must have unanswered questions. I have a feeling this is gonna be a to weird for him.

Shane.

waking up next to her was nice, her freak out wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be so they made me think that hopeful she was como to terms with this.

after I dropped her at her room I went back to mine and got my things ready for the day.

findings Matthews in her room, without Jackson on tow was a little strange and the fact that he was nice.

I tried not to seem like it was odd but I didn't trust him, but I also knew I had to be nice since he was Jackson's dad.

I was gonna bring the girls to grab coffee along the way but they alder had some.

on the ride to the water Jackson and Macy played DJ in the backseat and his laugh at some of her music is everything, he still has a bit of a belly laugh and I love it.

now we were floating down the river, we'd been here for a bit and Jenna had finals gotten comfort enough to take her shirt off and sit back enjoying the float.

her large boobs in her swim suit definitely Making it hard for a man to look away.

I was tied to her and she was tied to Jackson.

he looked at me and smirked holding up his fingers and did a count down and the next thing I know he's jumping from his tube directly in front of Jenna splash I water all over her as she squealed in surprise and I couldn't help but laugh.

" Jackson Lee!"

she hollered as he came up and he laughed climbing back into his float but she leaned up pushing him over and bringing herself and flipping me off the off direction with her movements.

everyone had a good laugh and I helped the little guy back up on his float

" pay back bud"

she said to him laughing and he laughed

" okay you win that one mama"

she smirked at him.

she swam around and climbed on my back holding on, the water wasn't very deep right here but it was definitely refreshing

" sorry you got caught in that"

I chuckled throw it my hat on my tube for it to dry in the sun

" you two are definitely something"

she smiled against my shoulder before letting go and I turned to grab her back but she was pulling her own hat off letting her hair fall and throwing hers to dry.

I grabbed her around her waist and pulled her towards me, the floats all around so we were somewhat shielded from Jackson's eyes.

her legs went around my waist and she smiled down at me

" how'd we end up matching today?"

she asked and I let out a laugh

" I honestly don't know. but I'm sure you copied my america flag shorts with your red top"

she bit her lip, her boobs were very close to my face and I wanted so bad to dip my face into them.

" are you enjoying yourself?"

I nodded kissing her lips

" absolutely darling"

" Jackson what'd you do with your mama?"

Matthew hollered and she buried her face in my neck I knew she was probably blushing

" she pushed me from the float!"

I heard him laughing with Jackson

" he splashed me first!"

she leaned up hollering

" one of you has to be the adult"

Matthew hollered back to her she rolled her eyes and I faught back a chuckle

" let's go find us a beer"

I whispered and she nodded biting her lip.

we got up from the water and was able to walk around the floats, unfortunately the beer cooler was tied to him so we made our way there.

" pick your poison but remember you only ate that banana Jenna"

he said as she was grabbing a beer and I looked between the two

" there's a lot you don't know about my wife bud. one important thing is she can't drink on an empty stomach or all of thks town will see her back side"

I raised a brow at her and she blushes hitting his arm

" shut up Matthew I'm gonna eat a sandwich in a minute and this is only my second beer"

he laughed

" I'm not chasing your ass around the hotel tonight "

she groaned and threw her head back and she walked off Bringing Macy a beer. I hadn't missed he still called her his wife, but he will soon realize she's his ex wife.

" weird huh? the way I know every single thing about her and you know what? her favorites color?

trust me we've been at this for years and you won't compare with that"

I chuckled Patting his shoulder shaking my head as I walked off, now I knew what his game was.

" need some help?"

I asked letting my hand fall to her hip and she giggled

" trying to figure out how to get back up without my bottoms coming down"

" hold this"

I said as I handed her my beer and she took it as I lifted her body and set her in the float sending her a wink.

I got back in mine and we started back down the water

" are you getting hungry Jackson?"

she asked him

" no ma'am"

she nodded and let her head fall back, I knew she was thinking about things but I wasn't sure what.

I reached over and grabbed her hand squeezing it and she looked towards me smiling as she nodded lightly, I think that was her way of letting me know she was okay.

we floated as I held her hand and the music and chatter all around us.

when we came to a nice a shady spot with a light sandbar I hopped off and pulled her and Jackson towards it, Jim and Mel were waiting.

Jackson didn't stay on long he was off and running around but Jenna didn't seem to mind, and I don't know the first thing about kids so I'm not one to say anything.

" Jenna are you gonna sleep or eat pumpkin?"

Jim hollered over and she waved her hand not picking her head up.

I walked over to her tube and kissed her forehead, Jackson was busy so I knew he wouldn't notice and I could careless about everyone else sewing my feelings for her it wasn't a secret.

she smiled up at me

" I guess I have to move"

she pouted and I shook my head

" I'll prop you up more on the sand and grab you a sandwich"

she smiled Shaking her head as she began to move

" I can do it."

" stubborn"

she sent me a glare and I shrugged

" what would it hurt me making you a sandwich?"

she looked at me her head c****d to the side as if she was deal having to think about this.

before she could answer I splashed some water at her

" sit you pretty little self down and let me handle this"

her hands were on her hips now

" I need to deal with Jackson"

I shrugged

" I'm sure I can handle a sandwich for him as well"

her arms fell to her side and she looked at me for a moment before sitting back on her float.

" want it made a certain way?"

she shook her head

" just meat and cheese no mustard "

she made a face when she said mustache and I'd have to remember that for the future.

I nodded and wadded towards Jim who was getting the sandwich stuff out of the other cooler.

" she isn't used to it"

Macy whispered coming up beside me

" it's a sandwich "

she made a face

" it's a womans job"

now my brows shot up and I was pretty shocked at that. I didn't say anything I just looked from Jim and her and they both nodded.

" go sit with her I'll make yours as well"

Macy looked at me smiling

" I knew I'd like you boy toy "

I chuckled

" oh and I want mustard "

she hollered as she made her way to Jenna.

I got started on the sandwiches and Jim made a couple himself, neither of us Saying anything as it wasn't the best place for me to start running my mouth

" Jenna are you gonna make Jackson his lunch?"

Matthew called over as he walked up from where ever he has been.

" uh Shane said he's going to."

I heard him scoff

" Jackson bud what kind of sandwich?"

I hollered towards where he was playing in the sand

" just meat and cheese"

I smiled to myself and nodded as I made his as well.

grabbing everyone a bag of chips I handed out the sandwiches and chips and then went aroun and grabbed the girls and myself a beer and Jackson a juice.

" wash off bud before you pick that up"

he laughed

" or it will be a real sandwich"

I laughed at his little joke as he ran towards the water.

I made my way back to the girls and sat down Jenna holding my things as I got in my float.

" thank you"

she whispered out as I took my things. I just smiled at her nodding

it was a simple sandwich I hadn't actually put much work into any of it.

we all ate the Jackson and Macy started trying to collect rocks around the sand bar before we got back in the currants and started back on our way.

Jenna had been really quiet and I wasn't sure what she was thinking.

" mama can I swim by uncle Jim?"

Jackson asked and she looked around before nodding

" let him know before you swim back to me"

" yes ma'am"

he called as he jumped from his float

" you enjoying yourself Jenna?"

Matthew had floated beside us asking and she smiled

" I am. I think Jackson is as well"

he laughed and splashed her a bit with his foot

" he's a lot like his mama"

this made her smile big and I smiled as well, I had noticed the two of them were like two peas in a pod.

" Jackson is staying with Jim and Mel tonight"

he said and she nodded

" yeah she told me she'd have him tonight since he asked"

he nodded and waited I'm not really sure what he wanted to say but he wasn't saying what he was actually thinking I knew that much

" well that means we can have girls night"

Macy said as she floated up and Jenna sent her a look, Macy just shrugged

" what I'm sure we could find something to do around here. "

" you don't need to go out acting a fool Jenna, we have a busy day again tomorrow"

Matthew said and I bit my tongue.

" oh and what will you be doing tonight Matthews?"

Macy shot at him and he laughed as he shrugged

" I'll figure that out later once Jenna and I get to talk a bit more"

Macy scoffed and Jenna didn't say anything.

he handed out some beers before he left go of Jenna's tube he was holdings on to and he began to float a little ahead of us. Macy looked at me then Jenna.

" well ladies I'm gonna go check on Jim I'll be back"

I said as I hopped off and head towards Jim, I felt like maybe Macy wanted to talk to Jenna and I wasn't gonna stand in the middle of that.

Jenna.

I'd been enjoying the sun and the water. Jackson has asked a thousand questions and he was enjoying it as well.

when Shane offered to make our sandwiches I didn't know how to react and I felt so stupid for being so confused over something so simple.

in Matthews eyes anything like that was a woman's job, hell I'm not even sure how he and Jackson stay alive on the weekends he has him considering he never lifted a finger to help while we were married.

after Shane swam away I could feel Macy looking at me

" what is it Macy?"

she giggled

" speak woman. what is going on with Matthew?"

I shrugged

" I don't actually know"

" well you aren't going out with him Tonight"

my eyebrows rose

" of course not. by the time our first drinks come he will be expecting me to sleep with him"

she sighed

" well he's definitely waiting for his moment to ask you"

I shook my head

" I don't think so I think that was his way of letting me know if Jackson needs him tonight be won't be available"

she scoffed

" well we're definitely going to see if we can find a little fun"

I sighed shako my head

" I don't know if that's a good idea mac"

she splashed me and I splashed her back

" whynt? boy toy can come and maybe y'all can figure out if y'all are dating or just friends"

I bit my lip I didn't want to ask but I didn't want to seem desperate.

" how about I let you know how I'm feeling once we get off the water. I'm sure everyone is gonna wanna eat dinner together "

I heard her sigh out but she didn't say anything back.

I took a moment to look around, Matthew was on his phone. thank God for water proof cases because he can't live without the thing.

uncle Jim and Shane were talking with Jackson about something as they swam in the water, I'm sure the two of them could reach so I wasn't worried about Jackson.

I let my head fall back and tried to relax.

I wasn't sure how tonight would go. one hand if we did go out with Shane would he actually enjoy himself or just be upset because Macy was with us? but then again I can't tell her I only want to be with him because that's not what this trip was about, when we first made the plans for this vacation she had wanted to go out and see the night life since we knew Jackson would be with Matthew or my aunt. I had no idea he was even showing up so I don't feel like it's fair for my to have to choose. I felt his tube move and he grabbed my hand kissing it gently

" relaxing darling?"

his deep voice asked and I didn't look his way, he's a very good looking guy but I don't want to lose myself I'm another relationship. I don't know if I'd be able to make it out somewhat with my head on straight again.

" something like that"

he chuckled

" well you better start relaxing ma'am or your gonna be in trouble"

I smiled his direction and couldn't help but look him over as he smiled at me

" Macy said the 3 of us are going out tonight "

I raised my head realizing she's left me.

I cleared my throat looking away from him

" I had no idea you were showing up and we'd are had these plans so I jumped can't seem to figure out the best way to go about this"

he squeezed my hand

" do you mind if I join y'all?"

I looked at him and the small smile hadn't left he's face

" no I wouldn't mind but I just.."

he shook his head

" nothing. nothin more to think about. we will have a good time"

I breathed out

" relax darling"

I only nodded and closed my eyes again.

this is all so weird for me. I worried he will only be this nice for so long and then he will start active just like Matthew.

and how do I ask a man if we're dating? do I just come out and say it or do I just go with the flow?

I'm not very good at going with the flow I like to have things planned out I like to know how things are gonna go and trying to be in a relationship or whatever with him is proving that he is very go with the flow type of person and I don't know how to deal with that. I don't know what to say half the time because I'm so worried it may set him off.

I hadn't missed that Matthew has started referring to me as his wife through our short conversations, I wanted to correct him but at the same time I didn't want to fight with him in front of Jackson.

I hadn't been his wife for more than a year now, and before that I hated when he would call me that, it's gotten to where it was no longer to be sweet or cute but more as a possession kind of meaning along with it.

when he's introduce me to people he'd never say my name just " my wife"

and if I offered my name and it was a guy if the conversation between me and whoever lashes to long once we left the conversation I was told I was flirting with the guy.

I sipped my beer and tried to enjoy the feeling of Shane's rough hand as he held on to him. I looked him over as his head was relaxed back, his shades back on his face and I couldn't tell if his eyes were closed but I hopped they were as I let my eyes run over him. he's a hot guy and damn does it have my mind all sorts of messed up, a part of me wants to just jump into bed with Jim and see if it'd be the same quick, him findings his release and me finish I myself quietly once he had fallen asleep or if Macy was right. if maybe there was more to s*x that I knew about.

is sighed out as he kissed my hand