LOVE SO DIVINE

CHAPTER 14

HINDI na halos maramdaman ni Olive ang mga balikat nang maibaba na si Rafa sa sofa ng sala ng bahay nito. To her dismay, wala palang tao sa bahay na iyon na pwedeng tulungan siya. She has to open the gate of his house, get the car into the garage and carry him inside all by herself.

More than worrying Rafa’s condition, Olive couldn’t help but entertaining more reasons why he was in a car infront of her house. Ang mas masama pa ay lango ito sa alak.

“Hindi porke’t maraming perang pambili ng alak aymagpakalasing na.” Hindi niya mapigilang pagalitan ito maski tulog.

Tumayo na siya upang maghanap ng pwedeng pampalit nito. She ended up going inside each room inside the house to look for Rafa’s own room. Sa ikatlong attempt niya ay narating na rin niya ang tamang kwarto. Alam niyang kay Rafa iyon dahil naroon ang litratro nito sa bedside table.

She was about to open his closet when her sight caught something. Napalingon siya sa studytable at isang larawan ang nakita niya sa ibabaw noon. She gasped when she realized who was in that picture.

It was her wearing their old school uniform. Hindi siya nakatingin sa camera kaya sigurado siyang stolen shot iyon. Nakatingin siya sa isang tila pader at mukhang nagbabasa ng kung ano.

No...it wasn’t just anything. Iyon ay unang araw ng klase noong Grade 12 sila. She could still remember having a fight with him that day. Pero paano nito nagawang kunan siya ng litrato?

Sinubukan niyang kunin ang larawan mula sa mesa pero mas nagulat siya na nakadikit pala iyon sa pinatungan nitong malaking notebook. Binuksan niya ang kwaderno pero nalaman niyang nagkamali pala siya. Hindi iyon ordinaryong notebook. Isa iyong scrapbook ng mga larawan niya. Mula kinder, elementary at high school. It was all compiled in a scrapbook. She was breathlessly scanning each page when someone took it away from her hand.

“Anong ginagawa mo sa kwarto ko? I didn’t give you any permission to touch my things.” Nararamdaman niya ang inis sa boses nito.

He threw the book to the bed, held her arm and dragged her outside the room.

“Kung hindi ka sana nagpakalasing at nag-wrong parking sa harap ng bahay ko, wala ako rito.”

She pulled her arm and walked on her own.

“Ollie…Ollie, wait!”

Mukhang alam na niya ang dahilan kung bakit nagkakaganito si Rafa. The photos says it all. Pero bakit? Bakit pa kailangan niyang malaman ang lahat ng ito ngayon?”

She has to walk away habang may oras pa. Dahil ayaw niyang mismo ang sarili niya ang sisisihin niya sa huli. Her feelings for Rafacame back to life when she saw him a week ago. And that feeling is wrong. She can’t love anyone else now.

She walked past him and walked towards the door. Isa lang ang hiling niya. Huwag sana siya nitong sundan. Pero huli na. Just as she reach for the knob a strong hand caught her arm.

“Please...Rafa. Let me go.” Her voice is shaking...as well as her heart.

“I can’t. God knows I can’t.” Tulad ng sa kanya ay tila kinakapos din ang hininga ni Rafa.

“Huwag mo Siyang isali sa usapan.”

“Kahit anong pilit kong intindihin na hindi pwede. Na mali. Na bawal kang gustuhin. Hindi ko pa rin mapigilan ang sarili ko. Masyado na kitang mahal Ollie para makalimutan pa kita.”

She raised her chin to look at him. His tears are threatening to fall. His face is all red. His eyes are pleading.

“I’m sorry. Wala akong idea noon. If you told me eight years ago...baka...baka nagbago ang lahat. Pero huli na.”

“I was doing fine. Kahit hindi kita makalimutan nakakaya ko naman mabuhay. Pero ibinalik ka Niya rito. Ipinikita ka Niya muli sa akin. And for what? Just to remind myself of how much I still love you after all these years?”

“Hindi ko alam! Maski ako hindi ko alam kung bakit ka Niya ipinakita muli sa akin! Nakalimutan na rin kita, Rafa. Pero...” She stopped herself before she could say something she would just regret. “I’m sorry. Hindi na dapat ako nagpunta rito.”

He shook his head. “No. I should be the one who is sorry. Hindi na kita dapat pang ginulo. Its just I held onto your word that if I ask Him wholeheartedly, He will grant my prayer. Pero mukhang hindi ko na sana hiniling iyon. Alam ko naman na hindi ka na Niya ibibigay sa akin.”

Tumango siya. “Yeah, think that way. Goodbye, Rafa.”

She opened the door and ran out. Doon na niya inilabas ang mga luhang kanina pa nagbabadyang tumulo. Kung pwede lang siyang maging masaya sa pag-amin nito ng pag-ibig sa kanya, she wouldn’t leave him alone. But things are different now than they were before. She can’t love him. And that’s the truth.

*****

“HI, Olive! It’s me Kaye. Naaalala mo pa ba ako?”

Kunot noo niyang tinitigan ang mga babae sa kanyang harap. She was busy proofreading some feature articles when her co-worker told her some people wants to see her at the lobby. Agad naman niyang pinuntahan ang mga bisita. Hindi nga lang niya kilala ang mga ito.

“I’m sorry. But do I know you?”

“I’m Kaye. Schoolmates tayo sa noon. I’m Mark’s half sister, remember?”

After all giving all the details ay saka pa niya naalala ang babae. Ito nga iyong makulit na nakababatang kapatid ni Mark na pumupunta minsan sa classroom nila upang hanapin ang kuya nito.

“Yeah. Well, hi! Nice to see you again.”

“I’m so happy to see you, too.”

Pagkatapos magbatian ay hinarap niya muli si Kaye. “So, what can I do for you?”

“I’m holding a charity event on the weekend. I hope you can buy some tickets for the event. The proceeds will go to the homeless and abandoned children. I know you have a good heart kaya sana bumili ka.”

Whenever it’s about the homeless and abandoned, madaling natutunaw ang puso ni Olive. She has seen these kids in flesh kaya alam niya na dapat tulungan ang mga batang ito.

She sighed when the kids of St. Lucia House of Joy came back to her mind. Mag-iisang taon na rin nang nilisan niya ang ampunan at kumbento. She couldn’t help but feel embarrassed telling all the nuns there, especially the Novice Mistress that she won’t be pushing her call for being a nun. Pero ang hindi niya inaasahan ay ang malawak na pag-unawa at pagmamahal na ipinakita sa kanya ng mga madre doon.

Naunawaan siya ng mga ito nang sabihin niyang mahirap para sa kanya maglingkod muli sa Diyos sa ganoong pamamaraan. Na hindi niya nagawang maging buo ang sarili pagkatapos ang dalawang linggong pagninilay-nilay niya. Everyone who knew her withdrawal from the convent showed her full support—her family, the sisters and even the children from the orphanage. Inintindi at nirespeto ng mga ito ang kanyang desisyon.

Ipinangako naman niya sa mga ito na magiging tagapaglingkod pa rin siya ng Diyos pero sa sarili na lamang niyang paraan.

Upang tulungan ang sarili na makapagsimula muli ay nag-apply siya ng trabaho sa isang magazine. Natanggap naman siya agad at mag-iisang taon na rin siya na nagtatrabaho doon.

“Okay. Bibili ako ng isa ngayon.” She gladly answered Kaye.

“Oh, but I don’t have tickets with me now. Ibebenta iyon doon mismo sa venue.” May kinuha ito sa bag at iniabot sa kanya. “This is the invitation for the event. Sana dumating ka.”

“It’s for the children. Of course, I would be happy take part of it.”

“Great!” Ginagap nito ang kamay niya. “Thank you, Olive. You will never regret coming to the charity event.”

Akmang aalis na ito nang bigla siyang naalalang tanong dito. “Sandali lang, Kaye.”

Lumingon ito sa kanya. “Yes?”

“How did you know I’m working at this office?” Saan kaya nito nalaman na nagtatrabaho siya roon? There are very few people who knew where she is working now. Lalong-lalong walang alam ang kuya nitong si Mark na doon siya nagtatrabaho.

“Ha? Ah...Kay Kristel. I talked with her kanina. And asked her if she could recommend someone who would more likely attend charity events like this.”

Kumunot ang noo niya. Kristel rarely does this kind of things. Pero iniwaksi na lang niya ang pagdududa. Para sa kanya ay mas mahalaga ang makatulong sa mga bata.