Fortress Island Series 3: Matteo, The Bastard's Sweetest Downfall

TWELVE: DREADFUL TRUTH

Matteo’s POV

I didn’t know how long I had been staring at her fragile figure since I arrived at my father’s house here in Laguna. Wala pa ring nagbago sa kanya. She still looked so weak just like the last time I paid her a visit three weeks ago.

When she opened her eyes, I instantly changed my stance and smiled at her. Agad ring lumatay ang ngiti sa kanyang maputlang mga labi.

“My princess has finally awoken, I see.” I said teasingly.

“Hello, my prince.” She said in a raspy voice. “Hindi ko alam na dadating ka ngayon. Kanina ka pa?”

Umiling ako at inabot ang kanyang kamay. “Kadarating ko lang.”

“I missed you, Matt.”

“I know. I missed you more. How are you?”

“Still breathing.” Tipid itong ngumiti sa akin. Pero alam kong sa kabila ng ngiting iyon, nakatago ang kanyang paghihirap.

Inayos ko ang collar ng aking damit kasabay ng pag-alis ng bara sa aking lalamunan. “Sabi ni Papa ay busy ka daw nitong mga nakaraang araw.”

“I am trying to learn how to knit, Matt. Gusto kong gawan ka ng scarf kung sakali mang pupunta ka ulit sa America. Winter ata dun ngayon?”

For a ten-year-old girl, she’s smart. The way she talks and thinks seems like she’s older than her age. At kung kausapin niya ako ay para lang kaming magkasing-edad. “Hmm…as far as I know, wala pa akong schedule na gagawin dun. Although I would be very busy for the coming weeks.”

Jennie pouted. “I’m starting to hate the Salvatores, Matt. Pakiramdam ko’y inaagaw ka nila sa akin. Sa amin ni Papa. Bihira ka na lang gumala dito. Lagi kang busy.” Kahit malumanay ang boses nito, naghahabol pa rin ito ng hininga.

“They have been good to me. Kung sana ay papayagan mo akong ipakilala ka sa kanila. Alam kong iwe-welcome ka nila na parang pamilya. Bea and Mira will be thrilled to get to know you. Their children would love to play around with you.”

Umiling si Jennie. “Hindi na kailangan. Ayokong maging weakness mo, Matt.”

“You are not my weakness, Princess.”

“I am, unfortunately. Ano na lang ang sasabihin ng mga tao at ng pamilya mo kung malalaman nila kung sino ako. Kaya nga ako tinago ni Mama dito sa Laguna.”

“Jennie….” I sighed. Kinuyom ko ang aking kamao. Sa tuwing naiisip ko ang ginawang pagkakamali ng aking ina, hindi ko maiwasang di magalit sa kanya. The fact that she killed herself was enough reason for me to resent her. Then I found out about Jennie…

My mother was too cruel to us. Hindi ko akalain na magagawa niya ito sa amin.

“Sweetheart, always remember that I love you. I will always love you, baby. Please don’t get upset. Magpagaling ka lang, yun ang mahalaga sa akin, sa amin ni Papa.”

Jennie looked away. Her eyes were now filled with tears. “I don’t think I have much time left, Matt. Just breathing alone is already tiring.”

Pumikit ako at tumingala. Alam ko. Alam kong hindi na magtatagal ang buhay ni Jennie. Ilang beses ko na itong dinala sa Amerika upang ipagamot gamit ang pera ng mga Salvatore pero hindi pa rin ito kayang pagalingin ng makabagong medisina. Her heart was too weak and even though we opted for heart transplant, hindi na kakayanin ng katawan niya.

Isang dahilan kung bakit malaki ang sama ng loob ko sa aking namayapang ina ay dahil sa kanyang pagtatago. She didn’t tell us that Jennie existed. Nalaman ko na lang na may kapatid pala ako nung namatay na ito. Kahit si Papa ay wala ring kaalam-alam sa nangyari.

Jennie is my sister, pero hindi siya anak ni Papa. She cheated on my father not once but twice. At kami ni Jennie ang bunga ng kanyang pagkakasala kay Papa.

I was angry for what she did to my father. Pero sa kabila ng lahat, sa kabila ng panggago ng aking ina, tinanggap niya pa rin ito at minahal. Kasi kung ako yun, hinding-hindi ko siguro mapapatawad si Mama. Kahit ba walang kakayahang magkaroon ng anak si Papa, hindi basehan iyon para maghanap ng ibang karelasyon.

“Hahanap ako ng paraan para gumaling ka, Jennie.”

Jennie wiped her tears away. Binalik nito ang tingin sa akin. “Matt, there’s no other way. Tanggap ko na rin naman. Mas gusto ko na lang ubusin ang natitirang oras ko sa pagbabasa ng mga libro at pagguguntsilyo. I’m sorry if I was being selfish. Siguro ay nagseselos lang ako.”

“Bakit ka naman magseselos? Kanino?”

“You spend most of your time with Alejandro and Romano at sa buong Salvatore. Kahit noong hindi mo pa alam na kadugo mo pala sila. You don’t spend much time with me. I’m your sister too, you know. Kahit ba late mo na ako nakilala, still, I’m your sister and most of all, I’m dying, Matt.”

Hindi ko nakakibo. True, ilang buwan matapos kong malaman na anak pala ako ni Arturo Salvatore, nalaman ko rin na may kapatid pa akong iba. My auntie who happened to be my mother’s distant cousin called my father and revealed the truth to us. Bago mag-suicide si Mama, hinabilin na niya sa Tiya Marie ang sobreng naglalaman ng kanyang mga sulat para kay Papa. I didn’t bother reading them though. When my father took me to this house five years ago for the first time, it was also the time I first saw Jennie. Her body was too small for a five-year-old girl. She was wearing supplemental oxygen to keep her organs healthy.

My Jennie was diagnosed with congenital heart defects. According to her doctors, isang himala nang maituturing na umabot ito sa edad na sampu. Ibig sabihin ay lumalaban pa rin si Jennie sa kabila ng paghihirap. Although, some of her organs are slowly getting damaged. At kahit pa ang solusyon ay operasyon, hindi na kakayanin pa ng katawan nito.

“Am I asking too much if I want you to stay with me for a couple of days, kuya Matt?”

I looked at her with gentle eyes. A smile appeared on my lips. “That’s a first. You never call me ‘kuya’.”

She chuckled and then coughed afterwards. Agad kong dinaluhan ito at inangat ng bahagya ang kanyang ulo. “Because I know you’re going to say, ‘yes’ to my request.”

Pinanliitan ko ito ng mga mata. “You little witch.”

She slowly opened her arms. “Come and hug me, big brother.”

Instead of coming into her arms, I carried her fragile body like a bride and twirled her around the room. “My princess.” I uttered and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

Naghikab si Jennie kasabay ng paghilig ng kanyang ulo sa aking dibdib. “Tuck me into my bed, will you?”

“Of course, sweetheart.”

**********

“Natulog na ba ang kapatid mo?”

Bungad na tanong ng aking ama pagkaupo ko sa kanyang tapat dito sa maliit na lawn ng bahay.

Tumango ako bilang tanong. “She had fallen asleep right after Gemma took her to quick shower.” Gemma was the personal nurse I hired for Jennie. She had been with her for two years now.

My father nodded. Nagsalin ito ng alak sa maliit na baso na nakapatong sa lamisita. Inisang lagok lang lamang nito ang laman ng baso na iyon.

“Pa.” I said. He had been quiet, and it terrified me. Tila ba ay may tinatago ito sa akin at takot itong malaman ko. “You asked me to come here. Ang sabi mo ay may sasabihin ka sa akin tungkol kay Mama.”

He heaved a deep sigh. “Ang gusto ko sana ay baunin hanggang sa aking kamatayan ang katotohanan, Matteo. Pero napag-isip-isip ko, hindi iyon makakabuti sa’yo at kay Jennie. I realized that no matter how bad the matter is, you deserve to know everything. After all, kayo ang bunga ng kanyang ginawang panggago sa akin. Don’t get me wrong. I am not being bitter. I have forgiven her a long time ago, but it doesn’t mean I don’t feel remorse towards her. Hindi lang naman ako ang nasaktan sa ginawa niya. Kayo ang nasaktan. Ang masasaktan.”

“Kahit isang beses ay wala akong narinig na masasamang salita na namutawi sa mga labi mo laban sa aking ina, Pa. Do you really love her that much?”

He clicked his tongue in disagreement. “It’s more of I had become numb from the pain. When I read her letters, I wasn’t surprised anymore.” Sandaling tumahimik ito. “At isa pa, I was partly at fault.”

Kumunot ang aking noo. “What makes you say that?”

“Wala akong kakayanang magkaanak, Matteo. She didn’t know about my infertility. I hid it from her sa takot ko na baka hindi niya ako pakasalanan. When she got pregnant of you, sa una lang ako nalungkot. Mas lamang sa akin na makita ang kanyang nakangiting mukha habang gumagalaw ka sa kanyang tiyan. The kind of happiness I couldn’t give not matter how much I tried. Alam ko naman na may gusto siya kay Arturo Salvatore. Sa ilang pagkakataon na sinasama ko siya sa bawat okasyon ng kompanya, ang kanyang atensiyon ay nasa lalakeng iyon. I mean, no one could blame her. Arturo Salvatore was one of a kind. He’s every woman’s fantasy. That man was a piece of art. My only fault was that it was too late for me to realize who your father is gayong kita naman ang pagkakahawig mo sa kanya. I’m sorry kung inabot ng tatlong dekada bago mo nalaman na isa ka palang Salvatore. Dapat ay pinaalam agad sa akin ng iyong ina para hindi mo na sana naranasan ang hirap ng buhay sa piling ko. Hindi mo sana tinahak ang daan ng pagiging marino.”

“Pa.” Putol ko sa kanyang pagsasalita. “You didn’t hear me complain, did you? I entered and joined Marines, underwent crazy trainings and killed few criminals because I wanted to. Hindi dahil mahirap ang buhay natin noon.”

He drank from his glass. His face was a little bit red now. He had been drinking ever since I arrived here.

“Do you know who Jennie’s father is?” I asked.

He throw me an apologetical look and then nodded. “You didn’t read your mother’s letters. Nandun ang sagot sa iyong tanong, Matteo.”

Umiling ako. “Mas mainam na siguro na hindi ko malaman kung sino, Pa.”

“Now this bothers me, Matt.” He leaned against the back of the chair. His face looked so worried and sad. Parang ang bigat ng dala nitong problema.

“What’s the matter, Pa?”

“I hired an investigator last year. Gusto kong malaman ang background ng lalake.”

Gaya ni Papa, napasandal na rin ako sa upuan. Ang mga daliri ay nakasalikop sa aking kandungan habang taimtim na nakatingin sa akin ama.

“What did you find out?”

Sa gilid ng upuan ay may kinuha itong brown envelope na hindi ko kaagad napansin. Binuksan nito iyon at nilabas ang mga litratong kuha ng imbestigador. Inisa-isa nitong nilatag ang mga pictures sa lamisita. Ako naman ay kinuha ang sariling baso at nagsalin ng alak. Nakaabang na ang baso sa aking bibig nang may mahagip ang aking mata.

Mabilis kong kinuha ang partikular na litrato na iyon. Nanlaki ang aking mga mata. No. this isn’t real. Dinadaya lang siguro ako ng aking paningin.

“What’s the meaning of this…” Anas ko. Ang lakas ng tambol ng aking dibdib. What the actual f**k.

“Yan ang pamilya ng lalake. Your mother had an affair with a younger man. But the man was married and had two children.”

My eyes glued at the smiling face of Porsche. In the picture, her cheek was pressed against her husband’s chest. Karga ng lalake ang maliit na bata na si Darren. Nakayakap naman sa baywang ni Porsche ang panganay nilang anak na babae.

“Apparently, the man died on the spot when a car bumped into him. Then after a week, your mother killed herself. In the note she left, she stated that she couldn’t live without that man.” My father scoffed. “That b***h. I couldn’t believe she stoop that low. Hindi pa sapat sa kanya na saktan at apakan ang pagkatao ko, gusto pa niyang sirain ang pamilya ng lalakeng iyon. Ang langit na mismo ang gumawa ng paraan para parusahan silang dalawa. Ngayon, ang gusto ko sana ay ipaalam sa pamilya ng lalake na may anak ito sa iba. Gusto ko sanang makilala ng mga anak niya na may kapatid silang nag-aagaw buhay na.”

Nanlalabo ang mga mata kong nakatangin kay Papa. Hindi ako makahinga. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat maramdaman. Nahihirapan akong iproseso ang lahat ng ito sa aking utak. I felt like my brain had shut down. Wala akong maintindihan. Ang sunod ko na lang narinig ay ang pagkabasag ng basong nabitawan ko.

Porsche…..she’s going to get hurt once she learned the dreadful truth….

Porsche’s POV

Palakad-lakad ako sa sala habang kupkop ang cellphone sa aking dibdib. Ilang araw nang nagtatalo ang aking isipan at puso. Sa gabi ay tahimik akong umiiyak, tinatawag ang pangalan ni Matt.

I missed him so much. I know I hurt him. It wasn’t my intention to hurt him but because I was being pathetic, he got hurt by my action.

I glanced at my phone. I wanted to call him, but I didn’t know what to say. I don’t think it is right to apologize about being guilty of falling in love with him. That I felt sad about my husband because what I felt for Matt was on another level. A level that I was sure no other man in my lifetime could ever reach. Only Matt. Only him.

And that even though I knew that our relationship isn’t canon yet, I had still let myself fall for him. And that I’m scared that my children could get attached to him and get hurt at the end.

But then again, I didn’t know what to do with my life without Matt. I felt like I was going to fall apart if I didn’t see him or hear his soothing voice as soon as possible.

Tumigil ako sa paglalakad at tinitigan ulit ang cellphone na hawak. This time, paiiralin ko muna ang nais ng aking puso. Please, kahit ngayon lang. Kahit isang beses lang. I just really wanted to hear his voice.

I stopped thinking and just went with it. I hastily dialed Matt’s number at tila ba taon ang lumipas sa bawat ring sa kabilang linya.

“Hello.” His tone was unfriendly. He seemed mad. I couldn’t blame him though.

“Hi, Matt.”

“To whom do I owe the pleasure of you calling me, Mrs. Madrigal?”

I bit my lower lip. He’s angry.

“Uhm. You’re still mad, I see.”

“Trust me, mad is an understatement, Porsche.”

“I know you’re mad at me. Please, can I meet you? Can I see you, please?” I didn’t care if my tone was begging. I would try anything, everything just for him to give me a chance to explain my side.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. Like I said, I don’t date a married woman, Porsche. I have made myself clear, haven’t I?”

“I am not married. I am missing you, Matt.” My voice broke.

He inhaled sharply. “Do you now?”

“Please. We really need to talk.”

Silence.

“I beg, Matt.”

“Fine.” He snapped. “Tomorrow. The Queensland Hotel. The same restaurant. Seven o’clock.”

I nodded. “Yes, of course. I’ll see you—”

The line had been cut. I was supposed to be happy that he finally wanted to see me, but my heart only sank by his cold treatment. I guess, I deserved that.

**********

Sa kabila ng kahungkagan, I still looked forward to this dinner date. I went to the salon para pagandahin at gawing presentable ang aking buhok. Simpleng make-up lang din ang nilagay ko sa aking mukha. Ayoko namang masyadong magpaganda at baka isipin pa ni Matt na inaakit ko ito. In fact, my black dress was cut conservatively. Walang cleavage na nakalabas o makikita. Tanging hapit lang talaga ang damit sa aking katawan na mas lalong nagpadepina sa maliit kong baywang at malapad na balakang.

I could still remember the way Matteo worship that particular part of my body. He loved to run his fingers along my hips then would go down to grab my ass.

I cleared my throat at wala sa sariling pinaypay ang mga daliri. Uminit ang buong paligid. I puffed my cheeks. “Focus tayo, Porsche. Wag kung ano-ano ang iniisip.”

Nasa entrance na ako ng restaurant at agad kong namataan si Matteo na nakatayo doon. Our eyes met and I blushed at the way he was looking at me. I probably overdid myself.

He took a step forward without removing his blazing stares at me. Ako naman ay napako sa aking kinatatayuan. Pinasadahan ko ang kanyang kabuoan.

He was devastatingly handsome like always. Sexy as f**k. At kahit ang mga mata ko ay nakatuon sa kanya, alam kong ang ibang guests sa restaurant ay sa kanya ang atensiyon. But who cares? Gayung iisang tao lang naman ang kanyang tinititigan. Ako.

He took his time while walking forward to my direction. I was itching to meet him halfway dahil nababagot akong nakatayo lamang dito. Tila ba ang bawat hakbang niya ay katumbas ng taon sa aking pakiramdam.

Ilang pulgada na lamang ang layo nito sa akin nang napatigil ito sa pag-ring ng kanyang cellphone. Kinuha niya iyon mula sa bulsa ng kanyang dinner pants.

“Hello?” His eyebrows furrowed together. His eyes widened as he listened to someone from another line.

“Hang in there, sweetheart. I’ll be there in no time. Wait for me, I beg you, my love.”

My heart flipped when he threw me a short glance as he sprinted forward, heading to the lobby of the hotel.

He left me.