Journey to Utopia

19: Come Back

IN THE middle of the woods lies a house made of rock. My eyes wandered all over it as my heart beats fast.

“Here it is,” I heard Navi saying. I didn’t look at him, instead I looked up at the dark sky. I can’t believe I came with him. Well, I wanna know more about what happened to him and Corvina.

And there’s also a part of me that just wants to come with him. No particular reason.

Why am I feeling this way...?

Whatever the reason, I still won’t forget the fact that we walked for almost half an hour! He said his powers are not available a week after my birthday! I am really cursed.

“Is there a problem?” he sounded worried.

I immediately looked at him and shook my head. “No. It just feels like everything happened so quickly...”

He was quiet for a couple of seconds. Did I say anything wrong?

“It wasn’t quick... my dear. I waited for centuries...”

“S-sorry,” I cleared my throat. I should be more careful with what I say. But it’s hard to adjust. I technically just witnessed 19 years of Corvina’s second life, my life. I just know a little bit of her first life centuries ago.

“It’s fine, I understand.” He sighed. “Come in...”

I nodded and we both entered the house. I must admit I’m nervous and excited at the same time.

I realized this is the same house where I talked to the little girl.

“Where’s the little girl?” I asked as he closed the door.

“Somewhere far away...”

“What?” My brows furrowed.

“She is safe. You do not need to look for her,” he gave me an assuring smile.

This feels really weird because I’m used to Ivan’s evil smirk. They have exactly the same face! And I used to hate the masked man. Now we’re suddenly in good terms...? I was blown by the gentle wind as surprises come every day, making me wonder if this is meant to happen or we modify destiny.

“But do you know her... name?” I asked with hope.

It took him a few seconds to answer. What’s difficult? I just wanna know her name...

“Same as you... Corvina.”

I froze as his answer sent me chills.

But there’s nothing wrong with having the same name, right? Yes, I should not overthink.

“O-okay, thanks...” I bit my lower lip and looked away.

Amara, my dear self, you’re just adding more questions to your mind, which is near to explosion! Curiosity would kill you! Pity yourself. Take some rest.

“You can ask me more or you can rest.”

“I wanna ask more...” Sorry to my mind. You can’t be in peace.

“Go on... You can sit down first.” He pointed at the couch.

I shook my head. “No... I... I really want to know s-something.”

He swallowed hard, moving his adam’s apple. I just realized at this moment that he doesn’t wear a cloak anymore. Instead, his outfit is familiar to what I saw hours ago. Black tunic, blue leggings, and black boots. All medieval. He looks like a noble.

Hesitation kinda stopped me but my curiosity won. This is one of the most important questions. This is where we started.

“Why did you kill my grandmother?”

He was taken aback by my straightforward question, but I didn’t see fear in his eyes. It was all shock. But surely, there’s something more behind those eyes that no one except him can see.

The silence almost deafened me.

I know that question is very difficult to answer but I want an explanation. Or else I would be forever haunted by the fact that he was a killer... the killer of my grandma, who I love the most.

“That night in a grass field... why did you do it? Why didn’t you kill me? Why my grandma? Why?” my consecutive questions.

“It wasn’t me...” he finally spoke.

My brows furrowed. “What?”

“It wasn’t me,” he shook his head. “It wasn’t me. That’s the truth. It wasn’t me.”

He continuously shook his head, like someone who is not in the right mind. He was just constantly denying it by saying ‘it wasn’t me’ and stuff.

“N-navi?” I approached him when he didn’t stop shaking his head and he was just saying the same thing over and over again! What is happening? He is... crazy.

“I-it wasn’t me...” he repeated.

“O-okay! Okay, fine! What’s happening to you?!” I just acted along even though I saw him pull the trigger, releasing a bullet to grandma.

“It wasn’t me…”

Oh, damn. This is frustrating.

I don’t know if this is true or he’s just acting crazy to avoid the question.

Navi ended up being quiet. We didn’t talk after that. He just made me more curious and realize there’s a lot I don’t know. Even the simplest questions which I thought would not be too hard to explain and understand, he couldn’t even answer.

Grandma... we are not biologically related. But we love each other so much. Could she be supernatural like me? Then what is she? How is she involved in this dark story?

I just sighed, giving up. Navi said he suffered for centuries so surely there were a lot that happened. I guess some of those are not yet meant to be revealed... not yet.

Patience is a virtue.

I am not completely sure what has gotten into my mind, but I decided to go to the little girl’s room. Navi didn’t say anything about it. He’s just staring at nothing. A while ago, he was emotional, but now, his face is blank. It is so empty that you would think he’s crazy.

Well, we are all crazy in this world.

Her room is still the same. The moment you enter, unknown forces send you chills. Spookiness is as natural as the forest where secrets and mysteries either reveal themselves, stay unnoticed, or purposely hide... to avoid danger.

Or maybe attack without you knowing. Behind your back.

This is the real backstab. Not like those classmates backstabbing you because you got higher grades.

The devil disguised as the black door inside the room is poisoning my curious mind as it tempts me to touch the knob and pull it open.

I know when I open it, I’m entering the hell of wild supernatural creatures in cages made by a... little girl. A little girl.

But the temptation won.

Creepy growls and howls enveloped my ears along with the door’s creak in slow motion. Despite my heart beginning to quickly throb, my feet moved forward and forward until I reached the middle. From this spot, I stared at the cages around. But my eyes are particularly interested in the cabinet I failed to open with the little girl.

Should I now... open it?

I let out a heavy breath as I slowly walked towards the cabinet. I don’t even know what’s inside. What if it attacks me?!

“One...” I whispered to myself, counting. “Two...”

I stopped when I heard a loud growl from the inside. Oh my gosh! Now I am very hesitant to open this!

“Two and a half...”

Several deep breaths and finally... I did it.

“Three!”

My body froze as an unknown creature with black eyes, huge ears, long tail, and white skin with blue stripes astonished me. I only realized it has transparent wings when it moved.

It doesn’t look scary… it’s actually enchanting!

But the sound it makes gives me assumptions.

All my thoughts at how bizarre it was faded away when it suddenly jumped to my chest and bit my neck without hesitation.

Damn monster! I shouldn’t have let myself get too amazed by its physical qualities. I pushed it away and touched my neck. I sighed in surprise and frustration as I saw my own blood.

Its transparent wings looked magnificent as they opened and flew towards me. My immediate response was to run. It took me only a few seconds before I reached the door as dark as the creature’s eyes.

With all the swiftness I could ever imagine right now, my trembling hands were able to close and lock the door, drawing boundary between us.

I heard how it tried to break the boundary that has saved me. Fortunately, it didn’t succeed.

Why would a little girl keep a creature like that?! How did she even caught that?!

“Amara!”

My eyes shifted to the man who just entered the room.

“What happened?!”

I sighed and chuckled. “Your little girl’s pet…”

His brows furrowed. “What? Why did you go in there?”

I think the creature stopped bumping the door..

“No reason...” I pursed my lips. “I guess it’s time for me to leave... sorry.”

I slowly moved away from the door but stayed in front of it for a couple of seconds. The creature didn’t try to break out anymore. I sighed in relief.

“Be careful of those monsters inside,” I gave Navi a small smile as I walked past him, but he gently grabbed my arm.

“We haven’t talked much...” I heard loneliness in his voice.

“Yeah, because you--”

“Apologies,” he sighed. “I promised to be careful the day I realized you are Corvina. This is not the right time to explain those... difficult matters. One day I will.”

I smiled and nodded. But he still didn’t let me go.

“S-sure. But I wanna leave now...”

“Will you come back?” His eyes are full of emotion.

“H-huh?” Going here is beyond my control, right? I am not sure whether or not I’ll be here again tomorrow and the following nights.”Yeah... I’ll go back to this place, to this house.”

He looked like he wasn’t convinced. His eyes are still the same. Lonely and hopeful. Above all, longing.

“Will you come back... to me?”

I was stunned by that question. That’s deep. It made me feel something strange but familiar. Here it is again.

“Will you come back to me, Lady Flamiva?” he repeated. “Now that you’re here... it’s hard to let you go. Not again. Never again.”

I sighed and looked at him in the eye. “Of course. I will come back... to you.”

WHEN I woke up, I didn’t really feel great. Before, I was aiming to get out of my nightmares but now it is different. I somewhat feel bad for leaving.

I shrugged my thoughts off so that I could stand up and prepare myself for another day with the Evil.

At exactly 7 AM, the door opened. I thought it was just a soldier delivering my breakfast, but it wasn’t.

“Rise and shine, dear Wi-Nix,” Ivan greeted, and it immediately irritated me.

He should be thankful he has the same face as Navi. If not, I already hit his face. Oh yeah... I slapped him yesterday.

“Where’s the paper?” he asked like he thinks I signed it.

“In hell,” I bluntly answered.

I heard his scoff. “No time for jokes, Wi-Nix b***h. Give me that paper.”

I was silent for a few seconds, thinking if I should say what I’m about to say.

“I wanna meet my special guests.”

There it is. It wasn’t a lie because I really wanna know who those guests are.

He scoffed again. “Okay, you like acting cool, huh? I’m telling you... these guests were really close to you. They know you well.” His signature smirk is here.

My brows raised. Close to me...? I don’t remember any aside from grandma and my parents.

“No prob--”

“f**k! Just sign that paper and give it to me!”

They say you are doing a great job when your enemies are angry.

The next thing I knew was that a g*n is pointed at me. Not a surprise.

“Patience isn’t in my vocabulary,” he sternly cited.

“Then expand your vocabulary?”

I laughed at my own joke even though it wasn’t funny.

“Let’s go! I wanna meet those guests.” I casually stood up from the bed.

“Your confidence is overflowing...” he sarcastically said as his hand ran through my hair.

“And I don’t like it!” Now that was a shout. He shot the bed again!

Poor bed...

I heated my whole arms before I ignore and walk past him. I know he’ll grab my arm so I need to be ready.

Just like what I imagined, he really did grab my arm and immediately removed it when he felt the hotness.

“b***h!” he yelled but I went out of the room. He can’t hurt me unless the Evil orders him to do so.

I know their strategy. Even though I refused to sign the paper, they will still try other ways to make me work with them. In order to do that, they won’t hurt me. And if they hurt me, how can I properly use my powers? After all, it’s what they want and need.

As I got out of the lonely hallways, my confidence was replaced by sorrow and anxiety, seeing the palace quiet and full of terror. The bright smiles are gone.

I felt a presence at my back and immediately knew who it was.

“Where are the guests?” I turned around to ask Ivan.

He rolled his eyes and smirked. “In your heart.”

I swallowed hard, slowly remembering something... I am certain I said that line in my first nightmare! ‘Mama is in... my heart.’

He laughed at my reaction. “Come on, Wi-Nix. There’s no turning back.” And he led the way.

MEMORIES FROM my cruel life on Earth haunted me again as two damn faces welcomed my eyes. Words can’t explain how much seeing them causes sharp shiny knives to my throbbing heart and traumatic pictures of the past in my flooded mind.

“Amara... we missed you.”

I was angered upon hearing that lie coming from my mother. The anger worsened as another lie came from my father’s mouth. I’m disgusted.

“How are you?”

The audacity to ask how I am! Of course, I am not okay!

How did they get here?!

“We are here,” Mom smiled.

“We came back... for you,” Dad added.

A tear fell down my eye and I quickly wiped it away. I ran out of the room as tears continued coming out.

Soldiers stopped me but I threatened them with fire.

I don’t exactly know how I successfully went back to my room. In this state of heart and mind, explaining is too complicated.

I locked the room and I was finally able to cry freely.

How could they causally meet me despite what they made me go through?! How could they say they missed me?! How could they ask how I am?! How could they smile after everything?!

They came back for me? I never wanted that!

I cried and cried in my room for hours. I didn’t even notice I fell asleep on the floor. It was quarter to 12 when I woke up and after minutes of staring at nothing, the door opened.

It’s a soldier delivering my lunch.

I ignored him and just looked at the food which seems delicious. I now know that it is not poisoned because they want me to stay strong. But I don’t care. I won’t eat it because I don’t have the energy to.

My brows shot up when the soldier gave me a small envelope. I rolled my eyes as I thought it’s from the Evil again but it’s actually a letter from my parents.

Dear Amara,

We heard about your struggles in this world, and we were worried. We know you suffered in our hands, but we realized it was a big mistake. You are not a curse that we have randomly found floating on the sea while we were making out at night on the beach. You are a blessing. You are powerful. You are supernatural.

We are sincerely sorry. Hate and punish us. We understand. But you should know that we are just imperfect human beings who make a lot of mistakes. Unlike you who is highly respected. We hadn’t eaten for a week when we realized our mistakes. I, your mother, got into a road accident and now I’m still injured. Your father had a large debt and was almost killed for not paying. That’s why he needed to sell one of his kidneys.

But it’s okay if you punish us. But understand our situation.

Or you can forgive us. If you do that, we can work with the Evil. Let’s start a new life and leave peacefully. Your real parents abandoned you, but we took you into custody.

We also heard about your engagement with what they call the Son in Power. But he’s now the sacrifice. It’s better to marry Ivan Shalarvereau. Remember, he was your past lover. Love him again. Forget the sacrifice.

We came back to you. Come back to us too.

Sincerely Yours,

Mom and Dad

What the hell did I just read?!

Are they guilt-tripping me or something?!

Why did they have to mention Dave?!

Come back, my foot. Why do I always hear about that lately?!

Navi wants me to come back to him. My parents are back. My traumatic memories are coming back. Someone told me that after hundreds of years, I’m finally back. What’s with the consecutive comebacks?

How about... the sacrifice? Will he come back?

***