To Want You

30

I was fine the first two seconds. It was like riding a bus. But then the direction took a turn upwards which eventually led my soul elsewhere. I think I almost saw heaven. As I get off, I feel like any minute now I'll fall face first on the ground.

"Could've been better."

Unaffected whatsoever by the ride, Loona turns to stare at the machine with a disappointed glint flashing her eyes after hopping off. While she's over there saying she expected more, I'm over here trying to check if I'm dead or alive. I think my sweat's gone colder than ice.

Abel finds his way beside me and leisurely slides his arm around my waist for support. I cling unto him, feeling a rush of migrain pass through my head accompanied by the foul taste attempting to rise up my throat. Not good.

Noticing my condition, Loona approaches me from the front with a worried expression contouring her face. "You alright? You look pale."

"I'm fine." I choke out. My source of balance halts momentarily when I close my eyes and attempt to connect back to reality. And by that I mean making sure my stomach knows we're no longer on the ride but standing on solid ground. I feel Abel's stare set on me the whole time.

After a few minutes of steady breathing, I flutter my lids open only to see Loona's face filled with worry. "Hey. If it scared you that much you should've just said so. Why'd you even ride it?"

I spot guilt lacing her words as she eyes me down.

"We should go. It's getting late." Abel cuts through before I can even respond. With his arms still tight around me, he maneuvers the both of us away from the crowd and into the parking lot. It's less cars present unlike how it was hours ago.

I feel my stomach do a flip, seconds before I'm pushing away from Abel to dart towards a bush. I hunch my body over and vomit whatever was left of my dignity.

So much for being fine.

I refuse to open my eyes and see the mess I've made. After digesting all those cotton candy, corndogs, popcorn and soda pops, I can only imagine the hell I've created. What's even worse is that I can already imagine what it looks like.

"El-"

"Stay back." I quickly lift my hand behind me, feeling something rise up my throat once more. How long is this gonna go on? I'm already embarrassed as it is looking like this. The least he can do is give me space.

Suddenly there's a hand caressing my back before the familiar scent of lemon grass cologne fills my lungs.

"Go away. It looks bad."

"I've seen worse. Don't worry." I don't have the energy to push him away, feeling another batch coming up.

We stand like that for the next couple of minutes. Abel stood quiet by my side, dragging a comforting hand up and down my spine. Not once did he make a sarcastic remark or scolded me like he usually did. It helped a lot to be honest.

He notices my silence after a couple of minutes and c***s his head a little to stare at the side of my face. "Is that all of it?"

I do this thing with my mouth like when you're tasing something and instantly blanch. "Do you have mint with you?"

He digs in his back pocket before pulling out a mint flavoured candy.

"Thanks."

Loona's pacing back and forth beside the car when we return. When she sees me, it almost looks like she wanted to run to me but suddenly holds her self back after catching Abel's gaze. Weird. I'm probably just hallucinating.

After a fun day, the ride back home had been filled with tension between the two cousins. Constantly I'd find Loona's gaze land on me and then back to the window. She ended up falling asleep just as I was about to give her my undivided attention. It really looked like she wanted to ask me something.

As the car continues to move in motion under the night sky, I watch Loona's expression shift from neutral to sad from the rear mirror. I release a heavy sigh, catching the attention of Abel. He takes a turn and enters another street.

"Try to get some sleep."

"I'm fine."

"You're not." He says. I feel like I've stepped on Abel's last string of patience with the tone he's using. "You allowed her to drag you like you're some kind of toy. She knows you're scared of heights but still insisted you ride them with her. Not only that, you didn't even think twice and just followed her so don't even dare try to convince me you're fine when you're actually not."

Silence holds sway between us. I narrow my eyes and glare down at the scenery passing by, digesting his words. He's right. I'm not fine. I'm mentally and physically shaken. I have a lot of things on my mind but even if I tried putting up a strong font on the outside, Abel would of course notice.

Now that he knows, there's really no need for me to deny it. I clamp my lips and close my eyes, leaning back. Ever since my talk with mother, there's never been a day that's passed when guilt hasn't swamped me. Because once I leave, there's no saying when I'll return. My only hope is that he'll get to move on and find someone else. I don't know how mates between werewolves work, but that's the least I can hope for.

Thirty minutes later, we arrive and I'm stepping out of the car. Turning, I nudge the girl fast asleep at the back with a small smile on my face.

"Go easy on her. I wanted to do it. So if there's anyone here you should be irritated with, then it's me."

Seeing my condition a while ago must've led Abel into telling Loona to stay back for the mean time.

"Idiot." Chuckles the man as he stares at me through amused eyes. "You know can't stay mad at you."