BATTLING FEARS

Drama night

Hi there. You must be wondering who had called me. I am aware you don't know him but the voice that had sounded on the other end was that of my uncle Mr Gilbert who has been promising me day and night to move me over to Paris where he stayed but never fulfilled the promise till this day. According to my parents i was his favorite niece. This must have been the reason why he was after me a lot and called me at random times to ask if i needed anything. Each time i saw his call, i wished so badly to block his line so as not to hear from him in a long time but then, my parents would get offended at that if he reports me to them. My mother often warns i keep my phone open at all times in case they wish to check up on me. Getting a complain from my uncle that my phone was always switched off would get them really furious.

"Hello Uncle" I greeted as soon as i heard his voice at the other end. 

"Maureen, Maureen! Your voice still sounds the same. It's just been two days o. I mean you are not sounding like a Nigerian at all" 

"Uncle, we all know i am a Nigerian" 

"Well, you never proof that. Maybe that's because you never stayed there for more than six years. Alright perhaps having you in Paris with your cousin will teach you a thing or two about how Nigerians act and sound" I chuckled on hearing this. He was trying to change me. I do know i haven't told you all this but i am actually a Nigerian staying in Florida with my parents. My first six years in Nigeria wasn't so bad as some other Nigerians here claimed it was for them but the terrible news i did hear daily from my parents about what was happening in the world presently often gave me a negative vibe about the environment. Though i loved Nigeria a lot but leaving Nigeria like any other African child gave me a really good feeling. Perhaps my parents would change and would stop reporting all the negative occurence of the society to me. I was totally wrong. They never stopped. It was then i began to accept the menace was everywhere. There was no perfect society. 

"Don't forget to ask me for fund if you need any" He reminded me the third time in this short conversation. I was beginning to feel really frustrated now. Uncle, my parents are available to provide for me! I wanted to scream out at him. What does he take himself as? Just because he worked in an oil company and earned more than my parents does not make him better than them. There was no way in a million years i would consider him better than them.

"I don't want fund now" I informed him hoping he sticks that in his head. 

"You are a student Maureen. You definitely need fund. I know your mum and dad well...They won't want to give you beyond your monthly allowance. They do this in the name of not spoiling you but i do know you are a good kid. You deserve more" 

I politely declined the offer. He sounded disappointed at this. I could hear it in his voice but i had no other choice. I had to do this due to the discipline my parents had instilled in me. I mean he was nice but my parents were really trying for me and i didn't entirely trust this uncle of mine anyways. He seemed to be caring a little bit more than my parents which was a little unusual to me. My happiest moment that evening was when the call ended. I felt a rush of adrenaline in me as i threw my phone at the other end of my bed and took a deep breath. 

"It's fine Maureen. Just see this as temporary. It will pass" I told myself trying to comfort the 5 minutes i felt a discomfort talking with him. 

***

The following months were okay i must say. Nothing much changed aside the new project the school had brought concerning repainting the school hostels and renovating the large auditorium. The students were advised to donate a small amount of money for this project which i didn't find as a problem at all but the other students saw it as a way for the school to extort money from the students. 

"The school already have all the funds they need. All they are just doing is collecting the students allowance just to put in their own pockets. I mean, they are wealthy and all. Why do they need to do this anyway?" Florence has complained with a irritated look. 

"You could be wrong as well. The school had paid over 100,000 dollars to the tax company for some new infrastructures they built without the government knowledge. That fund must have drain their accounts a lot. I don't see this donation as an issue" I responded opening up my snickers. 

"It's all a charade. The school has a connection in the tax sector. I am sure they were able to get some of the fund back" She argued with me hoping i don't push further with my claims. I didn't. I was getting bored with this fund discussion anyways. 

"There will be a drama night in school this weekend. I am a little nervous because we will be doing a big skit in front of so many school. I mean there will be guest schools around, there will be artists...i am the leading actress....Florence i am really scared" I confessed running my hands over my hair panicking. I often do this when i am tensed. 

"Maureen, you will do a great job. I trust you. Just do that thing you always do. That this is a temporary occurence quote you often use to trick your brain. That male dude of yours really tried in that one, i must say but i just feel you should try being yourself no matter the motivational quote someone makes up for you" 

"It's easy for you to say Florence. You aren't in my shoes. You will never understand how this baffles me. Anyway, that's not the worse part of this situation to be honest" 

"What is then?" Florence asked with a curious look. 

"It's also part of my duty to introduce the acting crew to a very important guest coming today. He is a very famous artist locally. You should know him well. He is Ronald Heap" 

"Ronald Heap!" Florence exclaimed enthusiastically. "Gal! You are in for a big hit! That guy has connections" 

"Florence, it's not about connections. It's about what i will say to him and how to speak without ending yp stammering or being unable to move like i am struck by a lightning" 

"Gal all your therapy isn't for nothing. You've got this. I assure you, you've got this. Before we even became friends, you were the one who approached me right..."

"Ooo...yes. It's was a task by my therapist. I was suppose to find someone interesting and strike a conversation with the person. That was like seven months ago. You were busy gathering students to help with the orphans fund raise. I found that humanitarian work fascinating. I don't see many students care about the less privilege. You seemed easy going anyways so i gathered all the confidence i had just to say Hey!" 

Florence laughed at this. She seemed to recall everything perfectly fine. 

"Sure. I can never forget that. I had to wait two minutes for you to properly explain why you had approached me in the first place. All you said was 'You are doing great. I am Maureen'. I was so confused to be honest because i didn't understand why you were praising me. There were so many students who were in that fund raising community and i wasn't even the founder of the community. I just joined to help. Things got very awkward that day but i had let things slide though. I mean the following day, i had approached you myself right?"

"Yes. You didn't mention what happened the day before. Thank you for not doing that. I would have died with embarrassment" 

"It's fine. I am sure you've got the drama under control. No need to feel anxious over it. I have an idea though. Why don't you invite your Therapist to the event? You will feel so much better seeing her there"

"You think that will help? I mean, she said i shouldn't depend on anyone for my confidence" I asked having a doubt about this idea of hers. 

"You need this Maureen. You need supporters to cheer you on and give that boost. Don't worry i will be there, i will invite that dude of yours too" 

"What dude are you talking about?" I asked with confusion. 

"I meant that Vixen who gave you that temporary friend idea. We both have common classes together. I will try and invite him to your drama night but i won't tell him you'll be in it. I am sure his sight will help boost your confidence too" 

"Florence, this is a bad idea"  I complained shaking my head in disapproval. 

"No it isn't. I mean, you no longer have feelings for him anyways and you have cut off all ties with boyfriend talk since that Drake guy. It shouldn't affect you much if you see your very first close friend there" 

"What you're doing can't help matters. He doesn't like me anymore. Things would only get worse if i make mistake on stage and he sees me do it. He will only think of me as a loser" 

"Shut those negative thoughts. They aren't nice. I will invite him no matter what you say" 

"Florence..."

"Don't worry. He will be my guest not yours. Your therapist advised he wanted to help you anyways. Why are you scared. If he is a really true friend to you, he will support you even if you made a mistake. I mean, you weren't with him when he needed you the most. Let's see if he replicates that"

My attempts to talk Florence out of this all went avail. She was very persistent in bringing Vixen to the occasion despite knowing i didn't want that. I had already had enough of depending on Vixen or seeing Vixen as one if the true friends who understood me well enough to make me happy. I had forgotten him a long time ago and moved on. I had Florence now right? I mean, Florence was enough for me. Why doesn't she understand that? This lingered in my mind for days until the night to the D-day. Florence was definitely pushing me beyond my comfort zone and this wasn't helping at all...