Forever and Always

Chapter Four: Jo

Jo

“It’s not much, but it’s home.” I whispered as I unlocked the front door of the house Nick and I were renting. Part of me felt ashamed that they were here. They have gorgeous houses, every one of them, even the apartments their kids were renting were upscale and I have this place. I love it, and it’s been home, mine, but it’s not in the best condition it could be in.

I knew seeing the three guys would bring out more emotions and tears than I could handle, but seeing Hannah and Bella was a whole other story. I thought after everything that happened between me and Archer, Hannah would hold a grudge against me. After all, that is her son. And the same with Bella, since they’re best friends, but I saw none of that. I saw happiness, relief and sadness all wrapped into one. A wave of relief washed over me when I saw that in their eyes, no malice, just happiness that I was okay.

“We have so many questions,” Hannah whispered as she followed me. I led them all into the living room and let them get comfortable.

“And I’ll answer them all, every one of them, honestly, even if it hurts.” Because I know that here on out, things are going to change forever, and maybe it’s time. I’ve been hiding long enough, well, not really hiding, but avoiding them, “I’m going to change out of these clothes, and I’ll be right back, is that alright?”

“Of course. While you’re changing, I’m stealing some drinks.” Eli smiled as he walked towards the kitchen. He will never change, and I’m thankful for that. He always knew how to put a smile on our faces.

“Same s**t, every day.” Austin grumbled, shaking his head, “Take your time.”

I headed towards the hallway and noticed Tristian following behind me, but stopped at the pictures I had on the wall. He looked at them intently with furrowed brows before he looked down at me and then back at the pictures. I could see the wheels turning and then, everything clicked, “Is this…” He pointed at the picture.

I nodded, “Yeah…” I whispered, trying to hold in the tears. I haven’t cried like this in years and I hate it. I hate showing my emotions because it tends to show weakness and that’s the last thing I need right now.

I’ve been so closed off for years, avoiding people, almost everyone except for Nick, and the only reason why he’s with me now is because of the bond we had when we first met. He’s my best friend and I wouldn’t have it any other way, but other than him and Jeremy, I don’t have anyone.

“Why…” he whispered, “Why keep this a secret? I don’t understand, Jo. I’m trying to, but I don’t.”

“I’ll explain everything to everyone, together, okay?” he sniffled and nodded, turning back around towards the couches to sit, but I did notice he took the picture off the wall and brought it with him. It was only a matter of time before they came running back here and saw for themselves, because one look and you would know instantly.

I let out a sigh and headed towards the room I shared with him. This place is small, but it’s home, and it's what we can afford. I tried my best to make this place as homey as I could with pictures on the walls, beautiful curtains and throw pillows, candles for a sense of warmth, anything really.

Pushing open the door, I met the green eyes I fell in love with the first moment I saw them four years ago. He is the light of my life and my world. I call him my song, because on the way to the hospital, the old Simple Plan song came on, "the song that saved my life" and he will forever be my song because he saved me more than he will ever know. I would do absolutely everything and anything for him, and he will always be my first priority, always, “How was work, mama?” He smiled up at me from the bed he was laying on, putting down his tablet that Jeremy got him for Christmas last year.

“Good.” I kissed his forehead before heading towards the small closet, taking out a pair of leggings and a large, long sleeve shirt. I didn’t realize how badly I was trembling until now, faced with Jamie and the rest of the family. This could either go good or bad, and knowing my luck, it was going to go very bad.

“Did you make cool things?” He asked with a bit too much excitement as he stood up on the bed and bounced. He loved that idea of me mixing things together, but couldn’t comprehend that they were just drinks. He thinks it’s more like a science experiment more than anything.

“You know it.” I winked as I walked into the bathroom to change. I quickly threw my clothes off and got redressed before going back into the room, “Where’s Nick?”

“Outside on the phone.” He smiled up at me as he bounced some more on the bed, full of energy. He held his arms out and I couldn’t help myself and wrap myself in them, “Uncle Jeremy was sad and called Uncle Nick.”

“Oh, no!” I gasped out, “That’s not good. I’ll talk to Nick in a bit then.” I cupped his face and smiled down at him. His eyes shined bright with all the innocence in the world. His dark hair was shaggy with a bit of waves from mine. Whenever I look at him, memories flood back to all the moments I had with Archer.

The good and the bad, and I would never regret any of them.

The times we were dating and had a blast together. He was my first love, my one love, but not my only, because this little boy stole my heart the moment I heard his heartbeat for the first time. But I also remember the pain we suffered. The breakups we had and walking in on him with her…I could never forget the look on her face when she saw me. And the messages he sent me were unforgivable.

And every time I look at Jamie, I know I don’t regret the times we were together, because he is my miracle, but I always get sad because he’s the spitting image of him in every sense of the word, right down to his eyes, lips, ears and hair. A true mini-me, but for him, and it kills me that he doesn’t know about him. And it’s not for the lack of trying. I tried many times to tell him, but the response was always the same and every time, it broke my heart even more. So, I did the one thing I could think of at the moment, and that was give up and try to move on with my life as a single mother. Because that's what he told me to do.

Now, I’m at a point where I don’t care. Jamie is my priority, my main concern. My heart only melts for him. Every time I think of Archer, a wall goes up. But with Austin, Hannah, Eli, Bella, and Tristian here, I can feel them pounding on the walls and trying to break through. If anything, maybe for them, because this isn’t their fault, I'll c***k just a bit. They deserve to know what happened, everything.

A gasp came from the doorway, making me snap my head up. My eyes widened as I met the wide eyes of Hannah and Austin. Austin instantly started to tear up again and Hannah was sobbing as she looked at me and Jamie. Jamie looked from me to them, confused. He tilted his head and cuddled to me even more, wary of the strangers that just entered our room.

“We were…um…we…oh crap…” Austin stuttered, looking at me and back at Jamie.

“Mama…” Jamie whispered, “That man said a bad word.” I looked back down at his wide eyes and gave a little chuckle.

“He did, didn’t he?” I laughed as I kissed the top of his head. His innocence is everything, “We will let him say bad words today, sweetie, because he’s just surprised to see you.”

“Who is he, mama?” he asked while he looked back over at them and gave them a small smile.

“Jo…” Hannah whispered. I turned to look back at her as her hands covered her mouth as she tried to hold in her sobs, “Is this…is this….” I can see it, she’s hurt, and I don’t blame her. She looked back up at Austin, thinking it was just about twenty-five years ago Austin discovered Dylan was his son and now, it was happening to Archer.

With tears of my own, I reached down and picked up Jamie and walked over to Hannah and Austin. Their eyes never left Jamie as I walked closer to them, taking him all in, all his features. He really is a spitting image of Archer. Once I was standing there with Jamie, I looked up and met their eyes and whispered, “Yeah…it is.” And that was all the confirmation they needed.

Austin’s hands were shaking as he slowly reached up to touch Jamie’s face, stroking his cheek gently, like he was made of glass. His eyes were wide, but there was a smile on his face. He wasn’t mad, but sad, as he gently cupped Jamie’s face, “Hi there.” He whispered, “I’m…I’m…Austin…” he winced when he said his name and I knew how bad he wanted to say Grandpa.

“Hi, Mr. Austin.” Jamie whispered, looking at him strangely with a tilted head before he looked up at me, “Mama…who…”

“Jamie.” I mumbled as I set him down on his feet. I bent down to reach his height and grabbed his little hands in mine, “This is…this is your grandma Hannah and grandpa Austin…Hannah, Austin, this is…this…”

“Our grandson…” Hannah dropped to her knees and took one hand out of mine to hold it in hers, “I’m your grandma…sweet boy. Oh my gosh, you are…you are perfect.” She cried as she smiled at him.

“I have a grandma and grandpa?” Jamie’s eyes lit up like the nighttime during Christmas when we would see the lights. I never had him meet my mother, I never will because of how toxic she is, so he never knew the love of a grandparent, “Really, mama? Really? That means…that means we have family!” he cheered as he reached out and hugged Hannah around her neck. She hugged him back instantly, trying to contain her sobs but there was no way it was going to happen. I sat there with my hand to my mouth, trying to contain my own emotions as I watched Jamie hug his grandma for the first time in his life.

“Really.” I smiled as I sat back on my heels, watching Austin pull Jamie into his arms and hug him tightly once Hannah handed him over. I looked over at Austin as he looked at Hannah and Jamie with so much love in his eyes before he turned towards me. Once Jamie was content with Austin, he looked back at Hannah and reached out for her. And with a laugh, she grabbed him again and hugged him, his little legs wrapping around her waist as she stood up. I gave her a nod, letting her know she could carry him out, and without a second thought, they were down the hall where I heard more gasps.

Austin grabbed my hand and pulled me up, “Come on…we have much more to talk about.” He whispered, “For the record, I’m not mad, never. I’m confused, but not mad or angry. I just…I need you to be honest with me about everything because I went through something similar with Dylan, and now it’s happening again to Archer and I…”

“I’ll tell you everything….” and I meant it. I'll tell them every damn detail because they have the right to know and then, I'll repeat it all over again for Jamie's father, my soulmate, the one I walked away from...

I just hope it doesn't break us in the end, but it just might.