Forever and Always

Archer I remember the day I first laid my eyes on her. We were no more than sixteen when I saw her across the lawn of my friend’s house, Ray and Finn, during their twenty-first birthday all those years ago. She was shy, timid, and she been through hell and back again. And when our eyes locked, my world stopped and in that very moment, I knew I had to get to know her no matter what. Something was pulling me to her, telling me she was going to be someone important in my life. I never felt like this before but I was told to stay away. I was told to leave her alone, but as fate would have it, she would be put right in my path, over and over again until we came together, clashing in a fury of passion. And I knew, with the very first time we kissed, she would be mine. Forever. Always. No matter what. She just didn’t know it yet. There would never be anyone like her. But time passed and we grew up and with growing up, we ended up growing apart, separating like a lot of eighteen-year-olds do. I hoped that one day, we would come back together, but as every day dragged on, that hope diminished. I couldn’t complain too much though. I had my family to lean on. I grew up with a large family, blood and chosen, and throughout the years, we’ve added to it, turning it into something amazing, taking over our small town of Crossdale. You couldn’t go anywhere without seeing our family, but something, or more like someone, has been missing the entire time, Jo. Josephine. Jo. Her smiled haunts me. Her eyes are burnt into my soul. And my chest aches for her, every damn day. We became fast friends, having the same classes and slowly spending time together. She told me her story and I held her while she cried. She went through hell. Her dad died when she was young, two, and she doesn’t remember anything about him except a name, James Foster. He was at work one day from what her mom, Suzanne, told her and there was a large building fire that led to a collapse. He never made it out, most didn’t. A lot people weren’t recovered from the incident, but they pronounced them dead due to the collapse and the fire and explosion that followed. From the stories her mom would tell her, he was an amazing man, someone you could rely on and look up to. It broke her even more that she never got the chance to grow with him. After his death, her mom put her through the ringer, time and time again. She was hard into drugs and with the wrong people. She had to sneak in and out of her home through her bedroom window to avoid the mess her mother would bring home, until one day, her mother’s boyfriend at the time, Frank, wanted to use Jo as p*****t for his habit. The price of a virgin was high. But they fought back. After that day, they ran and got in touch with Riley, Tristian’s now ex-wife. They were staying there, until one day, her mother up and left her, terminating all parental rights. With Jo being seventeen, she was practically an adult, but Tristian and Riley still took her in like their own. Through the next couple years, we fell in love. It wasn’t that high school puppy dog love. It was the real fuckin’ deal. She was there to support me with my decision to go to rehab for my shoulder and I was there to support her in all her decisions. Between the both of us, we made a hell of a team and helped out our family more than they realized we could. But all that soon came to an end. We broke up because she wanted to go to school in Massachusetts, but I decided to stay local. I couldn’t let her give up on her dreams. She wanted to be a vet tech and got into one of the best schools possible. I told her to go. I couldn’t have her look at me and feel regret for not following her dream. I would still be here if she ever came back and I knew, and I told no one but myself this, if she were to ever come back, I would be there for her no matter what. Before she left to go to college, we met up again at a family dinner where we ended up having a heart to heart talk. We still loved each other with everything and decided to give this a go. I would do long distance forever if it meant that I was with her in the end. Once these next few years would pass, we would be able to start our lives together, whether it be here in Texas, or anywhere. I would follow her to the moon. But things change and people grow apart. She didn’t like that I was a cop and was close to some of the females at work, even though they were harmless and she trusted me, she just didn’t trust them, and I didn’t like the parties she went to with her friends from school, all the frat houses and everything. So, we ended things and it wasn’t pretty. After about a semester, she transferred to a college closer to home, about three hours away. I only found out because of Tristian, but it wasn’t my business. I tried to move on. I tried to forget about her but at the end of the day, I couldn’t. She was the only one I could think about. So, one night, I went out with some friends and we were drinking. I got massively drunk to the point where I don’t remember much of what happened that night. I remember a girl, Tara, flirting with me. I knew her from school. We never got along, but she was there and she was willing, and me, thinking with my d**k instead of the other head, we slept together, I think. I was conscious enough to make sure I wrapped it with a condom I provided, at least, that’s what the wrapper told me on the ground when I woke up. There was no way in hell I would do that to not only myself, but to Jo. We might not have been together, but she still had my heart. I woke up the next morning, full of regrets. It shouldn’t have happened. I felt guilty. I didn’t want to be with Tara. I couldn’t believe it happened, but the evidence was there. The naked girl, the condom wrapper, the used condom in the trash can in the bathroom and the thrown clothes. Thank god I was in my boxers when I got up so I could quickly get out of there before she woke up. So, I left her in that hotel bed and drove to the school Jo was at and pounded on her door. I spent the weekend with her, talking, hanging out like old times. I told her about the bar and sleeping with Tara. She was hurt but she wasn’t mad, we weren’t together. I wanted to be with Jo so bad, I missed her, I love her, and I think I always will. I told her as much and one thing led to another and we ended up making love, but this time, it was different. It felt different. I felt like coming home but at the same time, it felt like goodbye. I just didn’t know that was exactly what was going to happen. My life imploded. Then exploded. Ended. Over the next few months, I focused on me, but I hid my inner turmoil inside, not letting anyone know what was going on in my mind. I told them I dated Tara, because if they found out it was a one-night stand, they would freak out. It’s who they are and that’s not me. I don’t do one-night stands. Jo and I would talk, but it was nothing serious. We kept in touch, but we didn’t see each other. One day, Tara followed me to my brother’s house a few months later. She sat me down and told me we needed to talk. But I didn’t want to talk to her. I had nothing to say. We’ve had no communication since I slept with her and that’s who I wanted it to be, until she handed me a positive pregnancy test. I was micro focused on it. This couldn’t be happening. It was one-time months ago and I know for sure she was sleeping with guys at the time too. That’s who she was. There was no way. But things went from bad to worse when Jo pushed past Dylan and saw me sitting there with Tara, holding that pregnancy test. She ran off before I could say anything and I chased after her. I remember the look in her eyes. The pain. The deceit. She knew I f****d her but this was never the plan. I wanted to explain to Jo that it meant nothing and I would figure it out. There was a slim chance I was the father, there had to be. But she wouldn’t listen. She told me to take care of my responsibilities and she wouldn’t stand in the way of that. And she left me again. I was lost. Broken I needed her. And soon, later, I was at home, about to take a shower when my doorbell rang. I was hopeful it was my girl. My calls and messages went unanswered, never delivered, straight to voicemail. Even if she never responded, I didn’t stop trying to reach out. I would find her and then she would slip away, like she was evading me. But it wasn’t her. It was Tara, standing there with tears in her eyes. She apparently got kicked out of her house due to the pregnancy and she had nowhere to go. I didn’t care though. I couldn’t. I refused to take responsibility for her or that baby until I knew it was mine. Something was telling me it wasn’t. I let her in, stupidly. I told her she had until I got out of the shower and she needed to go. I went to the bathroom in my room and locked the door, taking a hot, much needed shower, j*********f to the idea of Jo on her knees in front of me, wishing she was here with me. When I was done, I walked out and my room was a mess. That b***h went through my s**t. My mail was all over the place. My clothes were thrown out of the dresser. When I went to look for her, she was gone, thank god, but something was telling me inside that something else happened. Someone else was here. I felt it. But who? And why did she leave so suddenly? It’s questions to those answers I would never know. And soon, the truth of Tara came out, setting me free for good, but at the expense of everything I loved, because at the end of the day, I still couldn’t find my girl. I couldn’t move on from her. But I didn’t stop. I kept looking, hoping, wishing that one day, she would come back for me. I worked on me while looking for her. I had to make sure she was okay. I had to make sure she was set and if she wasn’t I would step in and help her, whether she liked it or not. Everyone tried to tell me to move on. If she loved me, she would come back. Tristian was hurt more than anyone else. He treated Jo like a daughter. He loved her like he loved Taylor and even his calls went unanswered and we don’t even know why. Ray, Summer, Taylor, Dylan, Jordan, Finn, Ava, Sawyer, all unanswered, until one day, one of them called her number and someone picked up. A man. He said he got this number not long ago and that he knew no one named Jo. She changed her number and we had no way to reach her. I tied to look for her. I tried to search for her new number through her name and any way I could think of, but I came to a dead end every time. And soon, years passed and I slowly started to give up hope, especially after what Taylor told me when she found Jo. She’s engaged. She’s moved on and it was time I did to. I would never love another girl, only Jo. I closed off my heart, turning it to stone, ice, not letting another female in and hyper focused on my career, boxing, and my family, trying everything I could to forget about her. But I couldn’t, because you can’t forget your soulmate, your true love, even if they forgot you. Questions trailed through my mind every day… What happened to make her cut us out like that? It’s a question I asked every day for years, what happened Jo?