Forever and Always

Chapter Three: Jo

It’s been the same thing over the past five years since everything went to hell. Wake up, take care of everything at home, go to work, come back, sleep and repeat. I don’t have time for myself, but that’s okay. I don’t have time to go out and have fun like any normal twenty-six-year-old would, but that’s okay. I don’t have time to spend with friends and that’s okay, because even though my life is monotonous, I have two people that mean the world to me and everything I do is for them.

But tonight isn’t like any other night. With frustration, I head to the back of the restaurant and grab a step stool so I can climb up to the top shelves to restock the liquor the day shift didn’t get to. It’s been a slow night and I’m starting to wonder if picking up the extra shift was even worth it. The only reason why I did is because rent is due soon and Nick was home today and able to stay and take care of him.

“Can I help you with those?” I heard a haunting voice from behind me. I froze, unable to move as my outstretched hand held a bottle of Titos. The numbing feeling I hate experiencing started to flow down my arm into my hand as I closed my eyes, remembering the sound of that voice over and over. It haunted me in the best ways and always brought out emotions I tried to bury.

Because I cannot afford to have those emotions come back to the surface. Having them back in my life would mean more to me than anything, but after what happened, they deserve more than the trouble I would bring.

I let out a large breath I didn’t even know I was holding as I pulled down the Titos and handed it to him without looking. It was hard not to turn around and look at him, to see if my imagination was true. I could be hearing things; it wouldn’t be the first time and I’m sure it won’t be the last. But I'm not imaging things because the crash from the bottle never happened, telling me that he was really here.

Over the years, I’ve imagined how it would be to see him again, any of them. So many scenarios filtered through my mind of how this would happen but I never thought in a million years it would be here, where I work. I’ve imagined him showing up at my house, demanding to know what I was thinking and why I wouldn’t come home. I’ve imagined phone calls non-stop with conversation of how life was going with the subtle hints that he would like for me to come home.

But this, here? No. This was the one place that was my sanctuary. This was the one place I could be mindless and not think. I could just take the order, make the drink, take the tip and move on with my life to the next customer., Mindless. Numb. Monotonous. It isn’t the life I dreamt of, but when your world implodes all around you within a matter of eleven months, things change. You change.

Starting with the night Archer came to my dorm and we slept together. Two months following of my mind not being in school and going elsewhere to the point where I started to fail classes, and getting sick on top of that. Then showing up at his brother's place only to be ripped apart followed by seven months of sheer lonliness, worse than I ever experienced in my life.

He took the bottle and mumbled a ‘here’ to someone else. The others were here too, I could tell, because he wouldn’t bring just anyone. But I also know him too, he wouldn’t bring the one person I desperately wanted to see but couldn’t face. I reached back up without turning around and grabbed a bottle of patron from the next shelf, “I’ll take that one too.” He mumbled. With a slight nod, I handed it backwards to him and he took it, his fingers grazing mine during the pass off.

I closed my eyes as I gripped the shelf, trying to steady myself, but my legs were getting wobbly. My knees started to buckle and he noticed. He always noticed the small things that would happen. The next thing I knew, I was off the ladder and in his arms in no time, but just in time because I felt like I was going to fall.

My arms wrapped around his neck as he carried me to one of the booths in the back room. I heard mumbles from the other side of the wall, knowing one of the others was talking to my boss. With a sigh of relief, he put me down and sat next to me, but never let go of my hands, “Jo…” he whispered. One hand cupped my face as a stray tear escaped.

I’m not stupid. I know he knew where I was. It’s who he is. He has to know everything about everyone and make sure they’re alright, but I guess, the larger question was, why didn’t he come to me earlier? I’m not his family, but I thought I meant something to him. But I guess after what happened with my mother and his ex, he wouldn’t look at me the same anymore. So, why now? Why five years later?

My eyes fluttered open and I knew instantly they were wet and red because I saw the pained look on his face as his thumb wiped away the tears that were falling, “Tristian…” I whispered with a slight sob. I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes, grabbing his hand and shaking my head, “Why are you here? Why…”

“I should have come years ago.” He mumbled, tears in his own eyes, “I should have been here for you from the beginning and I’m so sorry. I’m so goddamn sorry I wasn’t here.” He shook his head.

“You were where you needed to be.” I cried, “You were with your family who needed you.”

“Josephine, you were also my family.”

“All of ours.” Austin said as he walked into the room with Eli following him. I looked up at both of them as they stood on the other side, hands in their pockets and many emotions laced throughout their entire bodies. I took them all in. They’re older, a bit grayer, but still the men I grew to love. These men that saved my life once upon a time, “You don’t know how hard it was not to come drag you home.”

“This is my home.” I shrugged, “I’ve made a life here and…”

“How are you?” Eli said as he came over and sat down across from me, “Tell us everything about your life, Jo. Everything.”

“We stopped by the house….” And my breath hitched and my eyes widened. No. They can’t know…can they? “We met Nick.”

“He’s just a friend.” I mumbled, looking down at my hand in Tristian’s, “We met in college and he was going through a rough patch. We became roommates and best friends and he was there for me when I needed him.”

“Is he…more than a friend?” Austin asked, with a bit of tremble in his words, “Are you two…involved? He seemed pretty protective of you.”

I shook my head, “He has a boyfriend who lives in London right now taking care of his mom. They’ve been together for three years, so there is nothing going on between us.” I smiled, thinking of Nick’s boyfriend, Jeremy. He really is the nicest guy and helped me with more than I could ever imagine.

Austin let out a sigh of relief for a moment, which confused me. Why was he so relieved that I wasn’t with Nick?

“Do you…have anyone special in your life?” Eli asked as he sat next to Austin, “I mean…not to pry but we haven’t heard from you or seen you in years and well, Taylor said you were engaged and…”

“I can explain everything.” I sighed and looked up at the three men that meant the world to me. I never realized how much I missed them until this moment. The only thing that would make this better is if Hannah and Bella were here. They were more like mothers to me than my own was, even Riley, who downright ruined my life, “How long are you guys here for?”

Tristian shrugged, “We can be here as long as we need to be. Finn and Sawyer are taking care of the business with the help of Dylan and Jordan. And…the others are watching the house for us right now. Sarah is helping too.”

“Sarah?” I asked, questioning him.

“My wife.” He smiled a smile I never seen before, “She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I can’t wait for you to meet her.”

I gave a slight nod and let go of his hand, rubbing mine on my pant legs, “I need to get back to work. Can we talk later, maybe?”

“You’re off for the day.” Eli shrugged, “Your manager said you can go once we explained who we were and since it’s Tuesday and no one is here, there is no reason for you to be.”

“You can’t do that.” I snapped with a bit of anger in my voice. They have always done this to everyone, using their money and stature to get what they wanted with no consequences to other people, “I have to work today. I have rent due and…”

“It’s paid.” Tristian whispered, taking my hands back in his, “I know you’re going to be upset but I don’t care. Your rent is paid for the next six months. Hell, I would have done more but I knew you would be even more upset.”

“Why? You can’t…”

“I can, Jo.” He pulled me into his arms and wrapped them around me, “I can because I care and because I fuckin’ missed you more than you could ever know.” He kissed the top of my head as I buried my face into his shirt. His arms got tighter around me as he kept whispering, “There is so much we need to talk about and so much you need to know, but first and foremost, we missed you, I missed you. You were the missing daughter, the missing part and now that I have you back in my arms, I feel whole again.”

“You…you can’t say things like that.” I cried out, gripping his shirt in my hands, “You can’t.”

“And why can’t I?” he chuckled, “I should have adopted you years ago, sweetheart, and that is my biggest regret. Not having you for a daughter, as a sister to Taylor, is one of my biggest regrets and now that I have you in my arms again, I’m not letting you go.”

“There…there are things you need to know…”

“And we will talk about it all when we get back to your place.” He smiled down at me as he pulled away. He slid out of the booth and held his hand out to me, “Come on, then. Let’s get out of here and head back to your place so we can talk.”

I looked up at the three men who are showing much more emotion that I could ever remember seeing and felt a sense of safety, calmness, happiness, that I haven’t felt since I lived with them before college. With a nod, I reached out and grabbed Tristian’s hand while he led me out of the restaurant towards the front.

“Do you have your car keys?” Austin asked, and I froze. I looked up at them and felt shame as I shook my head, “Then how…”

“I walk…” I whispered, "And when I can't, I take the bus."

“It’s ten miles!” Eli raised his voice, making me wince a bit. He noticed and instantly felt terrible, “I’m sorry, Jo. s**t. I’m so sorry.”

I shrugged, “It’s fine. I don’t mind walking. It's theraputic”

“This is bullshit.” Tristian grumbled, but he wasn’t talking about me, I know that, he was more upset with himself, “If I would have just done what I wanted to do and not listen to that wife of mine…you wouldn’t be here right now.”

“Hey…” I smiled up at him, “It’s okay.”

“Come on then.” Austin sighed, “Good thing we have two cars with us.” And with confusion, we walked outside and I knew instantly, what he was talking about.

I froze and I couldn’t breathe. Tears were streaming down my face as I heard their breaths hitch. My feet moved on their own as I ran into their arms, tears everywhere. They wrapped their arms around me and cried just as hard, if not harder than I was and for the first time in years, I felt at peace. Being in the arms of Hannah and Bella meant everything to me, more than they could know.

“You’re here.” I cried as they held me tighter, “You’re really here!”

“There is no where else we would rather be.” Hannah cried as she pulled away, cupping my face, “You are absolutely beautiful and I am so happy you’re okay.”

“We missed you, Jo, so much.” Bella wiped away her tears.

“I missed you guys too.” I cried as they wrapped their arms around me again and I felt something I haven’t since I was a child. A mother’s love and I never knew how much I needed it until now and it's a feeling I never want to let go of. Not ever, but I know eventually, I just might have to.