Chapter 9
2017 Words
He kissed me. Again. But it was unlike the first one he had given me before.
This time, it's hungry. Demanding. Breathe-taking. And all that is Jonas Angcaya.
I whimper against his mouth when he started to dart his tongue accross my lips. I didn't put much of a fight, because one tongue glide from him is all it took for me to grant him access inside my mouth.
I fisted my hands on his shirt, pulling him closer. I don't know how he managed his balance, but I must give him credit for not stumbling onto me. His hand left my chin, went down on my neck before he splayed his long fingers, feeling it caressing me one nape.
I heard him groan, his sounds muffled, our mouth dancing in perfect sync, perfect rhythm. It's hard to control. Hard to put to a halt.
"Hmppnnn." that's me, or my lungs rather slowly losing their function, he's literally sucking the life out of me because I'm starting to feel dizzy from the lack of oxygen.
With one more sweep on my tongue, one more tug on my lips, he let me go.
He rested his forehead on mine, his hand still wounded on my hair. We were both breathless, panting, heaving and coming back to the ground after that kiss.
"You. . . I will never stop kissing you." He murmured, his breath fanning my face.
It took a little more time before he straightened his height, his eyes still on me. My eyes are glued to him. My heart franctically beating and about to lurch out my chest.
" We finish the wedding, then we go home, fix whatever you need to fix with your EX- " he put emphasis there. "-boyfriend, then we go out for dinner. Any favorites?"
That is where I snapped out of the spell he has put on me. Ex-boyfriend? Dinner? What?
I furrowed my brows and wiped my lips using my forearm. "What the hell are you talking about? Anong dinner? At anong pinag-uutos-utos mo diyan?"
Ngumisi siya, "After that kiss, you think I'll letting you get away? Akala ko malinaw na ako kanina?"
I grabbed my bag and stood. I quickly put a distance between us. Because I think, any moment now, he'll putting me back on the daze his lips bestow.
"Hoy, ikaw! Tigil-tigilan mo na ako. Hindi ko alam kung anong trip mo, pero hindi na ako natutuwa sa'yo."
"I beg to disagree about the part of you not happy, baby. Because the moment your lips are on mine you don't seem to put up a fight. Gustong-gusto mo pa nga."
I felt my cheeks flare, because he's right. Damn it! He's right! But I'm not giving him that satisfaction. I pursed my lips thinly and glared at him.
"Huwag mo nga akong ma-baby-baby!"
"Bakit ayaw mo bang maging baby ko? O gusto mo gawa na lang tayo para may baby na tayo?"
Napaatras ako saka napahawak sa dibdib ko. My dream of a kid that look like exactly like him hit me like a truck in a freeway. Fvck!
I felt cold and uneasy. He must've seen the look kn my face because his grin disappeared.
He tried to advance towards me, but I raised my hands. "Don't." my voice sounded firm though I'm near on breaking at the seams.
He stopped and I took that as the chance to get away. Matulin ang paglakad ko, hindi ko nga alam kung may nabangga ba akong turista, nagambala na mga nagtitinda. Hingal na hingal ako nang makapasok ako sa kuwarto ko.
He practically offerred you the one thing you've been longing for!
My mind shouted.
I closed my eyes before I let myself slide to the floor, my back against the wall.
"He's no good for me. He's no good. He's no good." I kept repeating.
I don't know what really stoping me. Sh!t! I could just tell him I wanted to have sëx with him then just move on along like he does. I can blindside him with everything, mabuntis niya lang ako. After that, I'm good. Kaya kong buhayin ang bata, without depending him or anyone else.
I tried to normalize my breathing, but those deep- colored irises kept on haunting me.
Ano bang kinakatakot ko? I'm sure with a guy like him, kids are just liabilities. He's living the high life and nothing will change him or his mentality.
Then it dawned on me. I'm just like him. The only difference is me thinking that marriage is a sh!t fest. Kaya ba natatakot ako? Kaya ba kahit anong gawin niya ayaw kong patulan kung ano man ang inaalok niya?
"Once you run, I will fvcking chase."
His voice, his kiss, his lips, his smirk all of him, kept me awake the whole night. I tossed and turned but not once did I feel tired enough to even catch a shot shut-eye.
The next morning, I was giddy and a nervous wreck. Buti na lang marami akong kailangan gawin at ayusin na wala na akong oras mag-isip pa ng kung anu-ano. It was a bit of circus, running around and making sure everything has arrived in time for the wedding. My mother was just thoughtful to forced me to rest in between and to have something to fill my stomach.
Mukhang nakaramdam din si Jonas dahil hindi niya ako kinulit o lumapit man lang sa'kin sa loob ng ilang araw ng preparasyon. I mean he's there, he always watching me from a far, he made sure I notice him, but he also sees to it that he creates a strech between us.
It made me a tad disappointed, to be honest. Baka naman kasi napagtanto na niya kaya niya sinunod ang mga sinabi ko - na tigilan na niya ako, layuan na niya ako. I should be happy, but the thing is, I'm not. I'm the exact opposite and I'm wracking my brain as to why I feel this way.
"So, anong nangyari sa inyo ni Jonas?" napataas ako ng tingin at nakita ko ang kakambal kong si Kiara na nakiupo sa table ko. She looks more relaxed than ever. O baka sadyang di lang hinayaan ni Jazz na ma-stress siya. Or maybe, it already sunk to her that nothing's gonna happen bad that will stop her dream wedding.
I stopped checking my excel and thought just to divert her question. Pero dahil iisa ang pinanggalingan namin alam kong di rin ako tatantanan ng isang 'to. "Akala ko ba magpapahinga kayo ni Jazz kaya ayaw niyo ng rehearsal dinner?"
"I am resting, kita mo wala nga ni isa sa mga anak ko ang inaalagaan ko. And you're dodging my question."
"Beauty rest, lil sis. You're about to get wed tommorow." I reminded her.
"And you're going to tell me what happened between you and Jonas. Jazz said, he's been very bitchy lately and you are glooming all over everything."
I peeled my eyes away from her and acted as If I'm studying my digits where in fact, I don't understand anything from the data. Isa sa taglay ng mga Real ang paging keen observer kaya di na rin ako magtaka. "He's always bitchy. He's a prima donna."
"We'll he's extra bitchy. Imagine, kahapon nagalit siya kay Jazz dahil ayaw niya 'yong lasa ng toothpaste sa kuwarto niya? Who does that? Nang isang araw naman, nagtatanong siya kung puwede bang ipadala dito sa Boracay 'yong duvet niya sa Ilocos. Hindi raw siya makatulog. At marami pang iba. Minura mura nga siya ng buong gang. It seems as though; he's diverting his attention to get his mind off of something or someone rather."
"Wala akong kinalaman diyan." Ulit ko.
Kiara chuckled. "Ate, three minutes lang ang pagitan natin ng ma-i-ere tayo ni Nanay pero hindi naman ako pinanganak kahapon." Pinaalala pa talaga niya na kahit bunso siya hindi siya mabibilog.
I sighed and closed my iPad. I let my eyes linger to the blank space beside her before I met her eyes. "I don't know what he wants from me. It all started with that kiss from the shop and it's a whirlwind after. Parang lagi siyang nandiyan kahit wala naman. Does that make any sense? Tsaka kailan ka pa naging chismosa?"
Tinawanan lang niya ako. After that she smiled before shaking her head. "It make sense. Ganyan din ako kay Jazz dati, Ate."
"What do you mean? Tuko nga ang asawa mo sa iyo eh."
Natawa ulit siya. "The farther you pull away the stronger will be the force when you bounce to him." She said, as if she has gone through the same thing on my plate right now. Guro talaga 'to, binirada na naman niya ang tinuturo niya sa Science subject.
Pero umiling ako, choosing to be dumb
and not letting her words get me. "I don't understand."
Natawa nanaman siya saka umabot ng fries na nasa harap ko. "These Syringe Fanatics boys are very persistent when they want someone. We'll according to their stories how they get their wives. It's not a secret too, how Jazz made his way that made me surrender back to him. And they won't stop until they get to claim it. Trust me, I know."
"Ha?" but she just winked at me and said a quick goodbye.
Want me? Why would he want me when he can get any woman he would like?
Saka ko naalala 'yong sinabi niya.
"I know that you felt it. Because I feel it, too. And there's no way I will let you dance around this attraction any longer."
Is this him telling me he wants me? Fvck! Hindi ko na alam.
Matagal akong nakalinga sa kawalan ng nakaramdam ako ng parang may nakatitig sa'kin. Perks of being a policewoman before, I learned a lot, most especially to be vigilant around you.
Saka ako napalingon sa kaliwa at nandoon nga siya. He's in another board short and white tee, and he's resting near the shore. He has his aviators on, but I know those piercing brown eyes are straight at me.
I closed my eyes and the kid from my dream is there again. Kaya mabilis akong dumilat.
I think I'm going crazy. Nanay, mukhang madadagdagan ang maging pasyente mo.
Gusto kong iuntog ang sarili ko sa mesa. Baka sakaling magtino pa ang pag-iisip ko.
I was lost in my thoughts when a foreigner took the seat Kiara just vacated.
"Hello, you're here for vacation?" he said, his accent heavy on his words.
I smiled tightly at him, "No. I'm working."
He nodded his head. "Good. That's good. You think you can spare time tonight? My friends and I are hitting the pub at station one."
I gathered my things and shook my head. "No, not really." Maikling sagot ko, hoping he would just give up and leave me alone.
"Why? Do you have something for tonight?"
I opened my mouth, about to tell him that I'm arranging a wedding, but an arm suddenly swung by my shoulders followed by a kiss on my temple.
"Yes. My wife is having me tonight." His deep rumble filled my ears and I automatically lean on his side.
The foreigner looked apologetic and raised both his hands in surrender. "Wooops, sorry bro." then he scurried away.
When we were both alone, I swear I felt the electricity high on the air making me jerk away from his hold.
"I'm fine, hindi mo na kinailangan gawin 'yon. At hindi mo ako asawa - mmmp." I stopped when he grabbed the back of my head and kissed me full on the lips.
Again.
But this time, I have a little fight in me. Kahit na nangangatog ang tuhod ko. I pushed him on the chest, it was weak and don't have enough force, but he stopped anyway.
I was about to pull away, but he rested his forehead in mine. His eyes were closed and his breath heavy.
"You have to take full responsibility, Kaitie. Because the first time we kissed, you've totally ruined me for anyone else."
- Writer
