Breaking Her Rule (Jonas Lei & Kaitie Carina Story)

Chapter 8

My mind was on autopilot.

Hinayaan ko si Jonas na kaladkarin akong tahimik ng palabas sa eroplano papunta sa arrival area. Hindi ko alam kung bakit wala akong lakas ng loob na magpumiglas, sa hindi ko nga nagawang agawin ang kamay ko sa kanya.

We stood beside the conveyor belt, waiting for our luggage. I am aware of my soroundings but somehow, I felt like my mind is elsewhere.

Jonas notice my unsual quietness making him turn his attention to me, "You, okay?" worry etched in his voice.

I gulped and open my mouth, but words won't come out. Closing it, I opted just to nod my head. Hindi ko siya ginawian ng tingin, I don't know why. But I felt terrified of him and the things he does to me.

It was never like this with Inigo. Yes, we understood each other a lot. We never once had a fight. Nagkakaroon lang kami ng hindi pagkakaintindihan kapag nasa usapan na ang pagpapakasal at pagkakaroon ng anak, pero maliban doon, wala na. It's not even a full-blown argument. We just exchanged couple of words and then let the issue die a natural death. That's our relationship. Which worked for me since I don't need someone storming into my life making me doubt my decisions. I was never unsure of anything with him - much more about myself.

Now, this unknown thing with Jonas - I don't know what to think. Or why do I feel this way about him. I feel like my body is tightly wired whenever he's around me. Alam kong naiinis ako sa kanya, but there's something more. But as much as it taunts me to fall carelessly and without inhibitions to his traps, I must not. He is sin. He is a bad news. At wala akong magandang mapapala kapag nagpadalos-dalos ako.

"Hey, earth to Kaitie." I saw him waving his hand in front of me.

I readjusted my focus and noticed already gathered our luggage. "T-tara na ba?" Utal na tanong ko.

"Sigurado kang ayos ka lang? You're awfully quiet. It's so unlike you." He said instead.

I studied his face for a while and there goes my rallying heart, reacting wildly as if it's an animal wanting to get confined. I jerked my head from side to side.

"Y-yeah. Pagod lang." I muttered dryly.

I peered at him through my peripheral vision and saw he was pursing his lips looking. . .annoyed? Bakit naman siya ma-ba-badtrip?.

It was like that the whole time until we arrived at the resort and to our hotel. Walang kibuan, pero sa haba ng biyahe na 'yon, ni minsan hindi niya pinakawalan ang kamay ko.

Once I finished talking to the receptionist and got our keys, I faced him.

"Here." then I hold the card to his room. He looked at me for a moment before he reluctantly snatched it from my hold. "I'm gonna go ahead and take a rest."

I pulled the handle of my luggage but abruptly stopped on my tracks when I felt him grab me by the arm. Electricity zapped through my body making me jerk.

Kumunot ang noo niya saka siya napatingin sa kamay niya saka sa akin. "Did I do something you didn't like that you're acting like this? As if I might do something and hurt you?"

There's edginess in his voice. It was calm yet filled with confusion and anger.

I placed my palm where his hand landed on my arm and hugged myself. "Pagod lang ako, Jonas. Please don't make a big deal out of this." I'm proud of how solid my voice sounded.

We got into a stare down before I was able to turn my heel and walk away from him.

When I got into my room, the whirlwind of events came crashing on me. The kiss. Our drama at the precint. Inigo proposing to me. Him suddenly popping out of nowhere after that disastrous last date with ex-boyfriend. Meeting him again. The incident inside my car. Him refusing. Him claiming we have to talk. Him faking a honeymoon. Him. All of him. My God! Anywhere, everywhere.

I felt drained completely and utterly exhausted. I slumped on my bed first and screamed, the sheet muffling my noise. Hindi naman ako ganito ng di ko makilala ng personal ang gagong 'yon.

"As if I might do something and hurt you."

His words rang inside my head. Hurt me. A part of me strongly contends that he doesn't have that hold on me, but I know. . . tang*na I know that he has the power to ruin me if ever I gave him even just a sliver of chance. This is not good. I hurt badly once before, and I couldn't took it easy. I don't want to go through that pain again. Not ever.

Sleep wasn't on my side because I didn't catch even just a wink of it. When my alarm blasted and reminded me to get up, I am still protesting but I gave in.

This is the only time, I wander Boracay and gather pasalubong, since tommorow it will most definitely crazy.

After I finsihed getting ready, I went to check on my phone and saw texts from Kiara, Jazz, Nanay and Inigo but none from Jonas.

A gushed of dismay hit me, but I quickly shook it away. Bakit naman ako ma-di-disappoint 'diba? Eh, ito naman ang gusto ko.

Lil Sis: Dito na raw si Jonas kaya alam kong andito ka na rin. Thank you, Ate!

Jazz: Don't know how you did it, but please keep doing what you do to keep my bestfriend tamed just until our wedding is finished. I owe you big, sis-in-law."

Nanay Tigress: Hi, Kitten. You never texted or called, your Papa worried too, but I'm hoping you arrived safe. Love you."

Inigo: Babe, these days without you is just impossible to live. I wanted to call but I know you won't like that. But that doesn't matter, what's important is you doing well. I promise to wait until you're ready to talk to me again. I love you, Kaitie.

Napalikit ako pagkatapos kong basahin ng pangatlong beses ang text ni Inigo. I placed my phone down and I went through my bag, getting the box he gave me days ago. It's still feels the same - hot in my hands as if it will explode once I open it.

Mataman kong tinitigan ang kahon, saka ko dahan-dahang inangat ang taas na bahagi nito kahit nginig na nginig ang kalamnan ko.

Inside sit a big, solitaire-cut, diamond ring. I felt my mouth forming an 'o', it's beautiful. My mind wandered off and got me thinking how it would feel to wear somebody's ring on my finger, the thrill to hear another last name trailing behind mine.

Angcaya

Napatingin ako sa paligid ko saka ko isinara ang maliit na kahon na hawak ko. Sh!t! It's as if someone whispered that name directly to my ear.

Napailing ako ng marahas saka ko ibinalik sa bag ko ang singsing. I slapped both my cheeks lightly. "No. No. No. No. Don't go in there, Kaitie." I reminded myself.

What would I think that? Sa lahat-lahat ng lalakeng pwedeng pumasok sa isipan ko kung saka-sakaling magpakasal man ako si Jonas pa. What is that man doing to me?

I concentrated hard. Paano ko ba maiaalis ang lalakeng 'yon sa isipan ko?

I flinched when my phone started ringing, "Hello?" I answered when I saw Jazz's name.

"Kaitie, nagising ba kita?"

I cleared my throat, "Hindi naman? What's up?"

"You might want to join us for breakfast. We're here at the hotel's restaurant."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. Not really sure if this is the right time to be around Jonas. Especially with that weird and unwelcomed canard, "Ah ganoon ba? Ano kasi Jazz . . ."

"Oh. KC told me as well to call you for breakfast. Do you have plans?" he said when I was lost for words.

I nodded and realized that I wasn't around him to see. "Yes. Please do tell to my sister, may i-ta-try akong kainan saka maglilibot din bago tayo ma-busy." I big my lip, not wanting to disappoint him, but when I heard him told to my sister about my plan and they both answered with their cherry tone, I was able to calm my nerves.

"Okay, sige. I'll tell also Jonas you're not joining us."

I sucked in a breath. Forget I said that I was placid. Matagal akong nanahimik. "B-bakit mo naman siya sasabihan?" tanong ko bago ko mapigilan ang sarili ko.

"Siya rin kasi nagsabi na imbitahan ka, though we already told him you might want to rest a bit and have some alone time the preparation. Also my wife told him, you're not a breakfast eater. But, you know, Jonas. He's really pushy."

Napatikhim ako. "O-oo nga, mapilit nga." Pag sang-ayon ko, pero halatang-halata sa boses ko ang pagnginig. I again stomped the big blockage on my throat. "Sige na, I have to go. I will se you tomorrow Mr. and Mrs. Balbastre."

He muttered with a sigh filled with contentment. "Lapit na, for the second time."

"Yup. Lapit na." I agree, then Sophie's voice came through from his background, signaling me to drop the call. "Sige na, your princess is looking for you. Bye."

Mabilis siyang nagpaalam sa'kin saka niya binaba ang linya. Narinig ko pa ang ilang mga sinabi niya kung bakit hindi ako makakasama sa breakfast nila.

Napabuntong-hininga ako saka tamad na tumayo at lumabas ng kuwarto. Hindi ko alam kung bakit para akong may tinataguan nang nakalabas na ako ng hotel. I act like a criminal, looking from left to right before went on my way.

Napailing na lang ako. Baliktad na ata talaga ang mundo ko.

It wasn't until the sun hit the middle of the sky that I felt myself relax. Buong araw na akong naglilibot sa buong isla ng Boracay. I picked a couple of things for my staffs back in Vigan. Napagod na nga ako kakalakad, gusto kong bumalik sa hotel para magpahinga ngunit natatakot ako na baka makasalubong ko si Jonas.

Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit ako naman ang nakikipag-tagu-taguan sa kanya.

Nang nakaabot ako sa Station 3, I stopped one by one of the local bars there and ordered Avocado Shake to quench my thirst. I sat on one of their folder chairs by the beach and just watch people enjoying the God-given paradise.

With the distant cheers and the sound of the waves crashing on the shore, I let my eyes scan the area before I saw a couple playing sand with their adorable kid. Siguro nasa, dalawa o tatlong taon ang bata. Bakas sa mukha nila ang galak habang sinusubukang magtayo ng kung ano man mula sa puting buhangin.

Mapakla akong natawa, I don't want to sound too bitter, but no one knows if that happy picture I see now will last a lifetime.

I sipped from my drink and sat upright. All my reasons as to why I evaded marriage, I suddenly recollect. Gusto ko tuloy tawanan sarili ko kung bakit sumagi pa sa isipan ang pakiramdan ng maikasal.

Still watching the family from the distance, I took my phone from my pocket and dialled Inigo's number. He picked up on the first ring.

"Babe." He whispered. It was clear that he's happy that I finally called him.

"Inigo. . . we need to talk." I said after a moment of silence.

He let a loud breath I know he's been holding when he answered. "I know. . . I'm sorry for pressuring you, I should've not left like that."

My heart clenched not because I was hurting, but because I'm starting to feel sorry for him and feel guilty that I'm treating him this way.

"Inigo, I would like to return the ring." I dropped.

"I know. But please tell me you opened the box. Tinignan mo 'yong laman." Napalunok ako. He knows he too damn well.

"Yes, I did. It's beautiful."

He chuckled, low but doesn't happy. Mas lalo kong inayawan ang sarili ko dahil sinasaktan ko siya ng ganito. He doesn't deserve this. "Yeah, but not as beautiful as you. I wish we could sit down and talk about this. I'm not ready to lose you, not now or ever."

"I don't deserve you." I admitted, knowing if I'm directing it to me or to him.

"You don't know that." He immediately countered. "I heard from mom, Ninang Keira told her that you're in Boracay already. Is it okay if we meet once you're back here? I really want to discuss how are we going to fix this."

Napatingin ako sa paa kong nakabaon sa buhangin. "How come you still want to be with me after everything?"

"Because I love you, there's nothing I won't do for you." I closed my eyes with his words.

This is what I wanted. Him and me finally arriving on the same state with regards to marriage and having kids. But why does it feel this way? It feels off. It feels wrong.

"You still there?" I heard him call out.

Napabuntong-hininga ako. "Yes," I curled and uncurled my toes before burying them deeper into the fine, warm sand. "Okay, Inigo. We'll talk once I'm back--"

I didn't get to finish my sentence because my phone got snatched away from my hands. I look behind me and saw Jonas ending the call before he heedlessly dropped my phone back on my open beach bag.

"No, you're not." he growled under his breath. I looked at him bedeviled, "Looks like we're not gonna wait after the wedding for this talk."

"How did you find me?" I whispered not able to move or gaze away from him.

He's wearing board shorts and a tee and I can't help but to admire his ripped muscles.

"There's nothing big or wide when it comes to tracking you down." He answered. Then he slowly stalked towards me, like a predator to his prey. He stood in front of me and I immediately dropped my eyes to our feet.

He captured my chin in his fingers to force me to peer at him. "You're not seeing him anymore." He ordered.

It took me awhile to clear my confusion then I realized he's talking about Inigo. "Y-you. . . you can't tell me what to do." I don't know how I mustered the courage to tell him that.

He squinted his eyes before he bent down, our faces only inches apart. I sucked in a breath, wanting to get away but his fingers held my face into place. "Watch me."

"Jonas. . ."

"Yeah, baby. Only me." He searched my eyes. I wanted to look away, to look back at the family I've been watching but his presence is so heavy that I can't. "I know you felt it. Because I feel it, too. And there's no way I will let you dance around this attraction any longer."

"S-si Inigo. . ."

"It's not a problem, basing from the conversation I heard awhile back."

Napapikit ako. My mind is muddled and he's giving me no opening to bargain. I was speechless. Hindi ko na rin maramdaman ang lamig ng hawak kong shake. Even the background noise seemed to have gone mute. It was only me and him, everything else dissolved.

"Open your eyes and look at me." he ordered, the tone of his voice wrapping me in a hot blanket, littering goosebumps all over my body. I fluttered my eyes and again got lost in those coffee-colored orbs. "Don't even think about running away, Kaitie."

I gulped. My body is trembling and all I can think about is putting some distance in between us. I saw his sly grin taking place when he absorbed the effect, he has on me. Kaya kahit hinang-hina na ako, I chose to challenge him.

"W-why?" I squeaked before I sink my teeth on my bottom lip.

I saw him darting his gaze on my mouth before looking straight at me as if he sees my soul. "Because baby, once you run. I will fvcking chase."

Then he close the inches between us, slamming his lips on mine."