Chapter 12 - THE SUPREME EYE
2067 Words
Pagkalabas ko ng kastilyo galing sa kusina nila dahil nakiinom muna ako ng kanilang tubig, ang bumungad saakin ay hindi si Sam.
Hikari, Akari, Pariahs.
"f**k it! This damn assholes!" Pagmura ng mama ng kambal.
Ngayon ay bumalik na ang aking paningin. Kahit papaano ay nakakakita na ako ng malinaw hindi tulad kanina na aninag lamang ang nagagawa kong makita.
Sa hindi ko alam na dahilan, biglang nagsialisan ang mga kalaban at nagpunta sa kung saan.
"Where the f**k are they going?' Tanong ng mama nila Lauren atsaka rin sumunod sa mga ito.
Sumunod din ako at sa pagtakbo ko'y nakita ko si Sam.
"Sam!" Tawag ko ngunit hindi niya yata ako marinig. Nakailang tawag pa ako hanggang sa nakarating na kami sa pinuntahan ng ibang mga kalaban.
"Guys!" Hingal na hingal kong tawag sakanila Kyla.
Thank God, they're all okay.
Napatingin naman ako sa prinsipe na nakikipag laban sakanila king Hiro.
Kung nandito na siya, ibig sabihin ay nandito na rin siguro si Mrs. Estella.
"Kanina pa kita tinatawag. Hindi mo man lang ako antayin."
"Oh? I'm sorry. I didn't heard you." Sagot saakin ni Sam pagkarating ko.
Naging alerto kaming lahat nang nagsisugod saamin ang mga kalaban.
Habang nakikipaglaban kasama sila Jasper ay nakita ko si Ken na pasugod sa prinsipe. Agad akong nakaramdam ng kung ano kaya ako tumingin sa prinsipe, at dito ko nakita ang pagbabago ng kaniyang mga mata.
Shit. This is bad.
Itinulak ko ang aking kalaban at mabuti na lang ay napana siya ni Jasper. Pumikit ako at pagmulat ng aking mga mata ay tinignan ko ang mga mata ng prinsipe. Nakaramdam ako ng init at hapdi saaking mga mata kaya ako tumingin ng diretso sa mga punong kaharap ko. Agad itong nakain ng apoy.
"Argh! Katharine!" Rinig kong sabi ng prinsipe kaya ko sinalubong ang kaniyang mga mata.
Gladly, I manage to open this ability of my eyes before. Doon lang rin nalaman ng prinsipe na pumapares na ako sakaniya.
Ang nakakaalam lang nito ay si mister Gerald. Parang noon sa pagpapanggap ko lang din. Sila din ang unang nakaalam ngunit hindi nila ito sinabi.
Sabi nila ay dahil saaking kamay, dito sila unang nagduda na babae ako. Malakas din daw ang kanilang kutob na babae ako dahil sa aking pisikal na kaanyuan.
Nalaman nila ang tungkol saaking mata kailan lang, pero. Noong tinuturuan nila akong makipag laban. Bigla na lang silang umapoy nang tumingin ako sakanila.
Ang isang katanungan sa isipan ko'y magkaano-ano sila ni mister Nikko at ng prinsipe?
Hindi ko malilimutan yung mata ni mister Nikko na tumitig sa mga mata ko noon. Parehong pareho sa mata ng prinsipe.
"I'm not gonna allow you hurt my friends. As long as I'm here, you can't use your eyes." Sambit ko. Naningkit ang kaniyang mga mata at alam kong hindi niya ito nagustuhan.
Sumugod sakaniya si Ken kaya nawala ang atensyon niya saakin. Dito ko naman naramdaman ang sakit at hapdi ng aking mga mata.
"Katharine!" Tawag saakin ni Lauren ngunit hindi ko maibuka ang aking mga mata dahil sa sakit.
Ang init. Mahapdi. Masakit. At para itong hinihila ng pilit saakin.
"Halika doon. Sa tingin ko'y balak ka niyang kunin." Sabi ni Kyla atsaka nila ako tinulungan makaalis.
Habang ginagamot nila ang mga galos ko'y pinipilit ko pa rin ibukas ang aking mga mata ngunit wala.
"Stop doing it, Katharine. Your eyes are bleeding." Ani ni Lauren. Naramdaman ko naman ang pagagos ng likido saaking pisngi galing saaking mga mata.
"Where's mister Nikko?" Tanong ko.
Kung nandito ang mga magulang nila at ang mga Hikari, nasaan na siya?
"Halina tayo. Kailangan tayo doon." Aniko.
Pinipigilan nila ako ngunit nagpumilit din ako.
Habang naglalakad pabalik ay nagawa ko ng mabuksan ang aking mga mata. Medyo mahapdi pa rin ito sa tuwing nahahanginan kaya't papikit pikit akong naglalakad.
"There you are." Rinig kong sabi ng prinsipe habang nasa himpapawid. Sumugod naman sakaniya ang mga kawal at ang emperatris.
Nakita kong tumingin siya sakaniyang ibaba at nakita ko dito sila Ray at Roy. Tumingin naman sila saakin atsaka saakin nagpunta. Itinulak nila sila Lauren at Kyla palayo saakin na para lamang laruan.
"Halika." Paghila nila saakin.
"Teka. Saan tayo pupunta?" Pagalis ko ng kanilang kamay ngunit masyado silang malakas kumpara saakin dahil dalawa sila.
Pagkarating namin sa kastilyo ng prinsipe ay nakita ko siyang nakaupo na sakaniyang trono. Ang dalawang lalaki naman ay binitiwan ako sa harap ng prinsipe kaya ako napaupo. Lumabas naman na silang dalawa.
"I want you to--"
"You always like this? Why?" pagputol ko sa sinasabi niya.
"Why are you always like this? What about the relationship we made? Or is it just me?" Tanong ko sakaniya. Sumandal naman siya sakaniyang trono atsaka sinalubong ang aking mga mata.
"Because I restrained myself a long time ago from attaching to people. I don't allow them to plant roots in my heart that would soon only vacate the place they once occupied."
"Why?!"
"It's the only way I could keep myself from being consumed by complete darkness."
"You're pathetic. You're lying." I said.
"No. I'm not. You're the pathetic one. You're still not awake from your fantasies which you are just making in your head."
"Wake up. Open your eyes. There is always two sides of a coin - face and tail. Either you forestall or suffer."
"You see, attachment and love are a great source of suffering."
"Such attachments follow tragedy, and should be avoided."
"Your current relationships will soon vanish into thin air, even the one you most cherished. And the one you once knew will become stranger and a new stranger will become somebody who will replace the previous one and, before the both of you even knew you already planted a root deep into your hearts and, soon, eventually, will repeat the cycle."
"The fondness you are feeling is just a mere figment of your overheated imagination."
"Your brain will think your feelings are true and the ascendency of phantasm over reality will be born. And when you experience hurting, you will find something, mostly someone, to assuage your desire to eliminate the pain you are experiencing. Which, the truth is you're just running away from it by desperately finding a remedy to your stupidity."
"Just like you are feeling right now. You're trying to fill that void in your heart that your father left by building a bond with me. But the truth is you're desperately finding someone to fill the hole in you."
"You'll settle to that - only to avoid loneliness.... but it is really a mere tool to relieve an immense spiritual hunger."
"But as the day go by, you'll realize that you can't benefit from them anymore. You're just blinded by your fear of loneliness. By that realization you'll find another person where you can get the thing you are craving the most."
"And by that, just look at you right now. You probably thinking on betraying me because you can't be satisfied."
"Humans only care for you if they can benefit from you. If they don't have anything they can get from you, they'll go and find another whom they can benefit from. That's the reality."
"That's what most humans do. They're very conventional in the way they think and view things."
"It disgusts me."
"However, the longer you live with an open eyes the vast realizations you will get. One of them is that the only thing existing in reality is pain. Because whether it is right love or wrong love, it causes you pain. It hurts you. It hurts you because the one you loved the most causes you the pain most. And it hurts you even more knowing that soon you'll left behind, and you - yourself, will be forgotten and you'd be replaced by someone new."
"You see, even animals die, but the pain will remain."
"A relationship is not what you think it is. It is merely a pain sugar-coated with flowers and butterflies."
"Since the essence of a relationship is treating one another equally and understanding the feelings of the other, then if one of them doesn't get as much as what they give, they'll leave and find another one who can do the thing, sooner or later."
"That goes all back from what I've said a while ago - that attachment and love is a great source of suffering."
"So in order to avoid this tragedy, you need to avoid attachments."
"Whether there's a bond there is always suffering. Same with the one who love most and the one who love less."
"Just look at yourself right now, Katharine. You made your brain believe that there's something precious between us but actually, it's just a mere figment of your overheated imagination and an escape for your loneliness."
"So, don't tell me that I'm the pathetic one. You are." He said while looking straight into my eyes.
I can't utter a word. The only thing what's going on with me is absorbing all what he said.
"What? Can't say a word?" He asked with a teasing tone and little smirk on his lips.
Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin.
"Are you mad on what I've said? Or are you mad because it's true?" He asked again.
Bakit ba sa pagbukas palagi ng bibig niya'y parang punyal ng katotohanang tumutusok saakin?
So if that's the truth, all those times we spent together there isn't a single time he ackowledge me nor even feel a slight attachment between us?
Right now... it's like my eyes opened wide. Now, I realized that his words are true. I am finding something to fill the void my father have left.
Why isn't there anyone who can acknowledge me? From my father to the ones I thought acknowledges me. Why? Am I hard to be acknowledge? Am I hard to love?
Napaiyak na lamang ako dahil dito.
"Crying won't solve your problems, Katharine." He said while drinking.
"Nasaan na si Mrs. Estella?" Tanong ko habang pinupunasan ang aking mga luha.
"She's fine." Tipid niyang sagot at hindi na nagsalita pa. Lumabas naman na ako at nagpunta sa kusina upang hanapin si Mrs. Estella.
That is the longest time we spoke. And that is the longest words I heard that he said for the past months until now.
Pagkakita ko sakanila ay bigla akong nakaramdam ng tuwa dahil ligtas na sila.
"Iha. Nanjan ka na pala." Anila habang nakangiti. Bigla naman akong napaiyak.
Ibinukas nila ang kanilang mga braso na para akong tinatawag kaya ako lumapit sakanila atsaka sila niyakap.
"I don't know what I am feeling right now. It's so overwhelming."
"Shhh." Pagtahan nila.
"I don't know if what I did is good or bad. I really don't know anything right now."
"All I want is to protect my family and keep them away from danger. But... I--" hindi ko na natuloy ang sasabihin ko nang napaiyak na ako.
"Shhh." Pagpapatahan ulit nila.
Humiwalay ako atsaka sinalubong ang nagaalala nilang mga mata.
"I told them everything." Sabi ko. Nawala naman ang pagaalala sakanilang mukha at napalitan ng hindi ko maintindihang itsura.
Umiwas sila ng tingin atsaka ngumiti ng pilit.
"He was once a child a mother and a father's answered prayers."
"He was once a child who pathetically sees his killer a friend. He was once a child who dreamt to be loved. He was once a child who was wronged but thought it was the kind of love he deserves. He was a child who experienced a lot and immense pain no ever experienced.... and blamed as an evil who took advantage on everyone just because they don't understand him."
"He is a person who stand against everyone because he believe what he believed.... only to be told that his life is a mere foolishness and futility."
"Now, tell me. As a person who knew what he've been through - who knew the real him - what will you do? What will you feel knowing that the man who doesn't open up easily open up to you and being ridiculed by someone?" Tanong nila.
I can't find any words right now.
A drop of tear fell from my eye... and then drop again till it all begin to race to fall.
Why does it feel like it was all my fault? Why does it feel like I am the one who should be haunted by my own conscience?
- Writer
