Always my Protector (Book 2 )

Chapter 9

It didn't and did go how I thought , all the argument had hints of what he actually felt. I'd studied the mind , learnt how It worked but with him he was shuttered. Closed off , I don't know what I'd expected and argument yes anger yes. But the hate I saw in his eye's,  well not his eyes but still the contact lenses don't change the emotion. Damm he'd looked at me with so much hatred, I thought we would argue he would be pissed. But then my Carter would be there , under the surface. I was selfish he was right.

That I didn't argue about , I knew how he felt and I'd used it. Whenever I was scared or got hurt Carter would fix it. I'd cuddle up against his chest and listen as his heart went wild against my ear. I knew the effect I had on him back then , but I always wanted more. Years of self reflection led me to belive Carter was too safe back then , even as just a kid I knew I wanted more. Travel the world , be loved like I was needed on his next breath. The burning desire , I guess I took after jess she always had her nose in dark romance novels.

No wonder when Jayden came along she jumped on him , he was a mafia boss for Christ sakes. Carter , well the younger Carter he was the good guy. Held me when I was hurt , made me laugh when I felt sad even throw down with a bully. But he was just so....Nice. I'd questioned my sanity plenty over the years, a hot nice guy and he wasn't enough i'd friend zoned him and kept him planted there.

Even my first time with him it was beautiful,  pleasurable and well Nice. That's what I wanted for a first time , someone I trusted I wanted nice. But I'd not wanted it forever , s**t. Rolling over I get out of his bed and sheets that smell like him. They transport me back , Carter would always smell like Carter to me. Except I couldn't think of him as Carter now he was Ryder Popov  and I was Cora Tyas. Two young lovers from a small town , who'd had a hiccup in there relationship.

I hadn't got no clothes here yet , we was going to the motel today to collect my stuff. If slept naked last night after we had scratched out all the details. After I told him everything Abram had told me and how we was now being watched. He didn't like any of it felt untrusted , he was being stupid it was the polar opposite. He was loved so loved , non of this was because they didn't trust him. This was all because they wanted him home in one piece.

Going into the small wardrobe in the very basic bedroom , I search for somthing to throw on. It was only early and I needed a shower before I put my own clothes back on. So I find one of his t-shirts a black one  hung up among all the other black ones. Seriously did he own another colour , slipping it on I look at my reflection in the mirror. I didn't recognise this version of me , diffrent eyes hair and makeup that was smudged from sleeping with it on.

I didn't hate it,  infact I loved the black I'd added to my blonde hair some under my front pieces then a block underneath. It was just the eyes brown,  I loved my green eyes , sighing I go out into the living room. He isn't there the blanket he used to sleep on the sofa with neatly piled up. He said he didn't know if he was watched,  there was one that watched him all the time. So we had finished our argument last night I'd stormed in the room and told him not to bother following.

He'd warned we would have to sleep in the same bed eventually,  he even told me we would have to f**k. Not make love f**k , he said they was very open. Like the Vixen but with no boundaries,  I'm not sure how I felt about it to be honest. I was here now and it would be dangerous not to. I hadn't been a prude either while I'd been gone , I'd had a few guys but again something was missing. Walking into the kitchen I see he isn't there either but a coffee pot had been made.

My mouth watered at just the smell of it , walking In I search the cupboards for a cup. Non just the one in the sink he really was just squatting here , rinsing it out. I nearly jump out my skin when I hear a low groan behind me. Whipping around , I find Carter stood in the kitchen door way. His eyes aren't on my face though there looking down at my legs. Then further up at my thighs , they halt and look surprised. I look down to see what he's looking at and it's the tattoo that covers my full right thigh. Its an angel on her knees with a demon stood over her.

He clears his throat and looks away down at his own feet. " I fetched breakfast " he says before turning on his heel. I'm left breathless the look in his eye's the heat , I know that look Carter may hate me but he still finds me attractive. " Cora come eat we have to head out soon " his voice is indifferent. Taking a calming breath I head into the room he's opening boxes on the coffee table. Heading closer I take a seat at the side of him and I literally see him tense, he can't keep acting that way or we would never pass as a couple.

When I lean forward my eyes bug wide , hes been and got my favourite. Bacon,  hashbrowns beans and cheese with toast . He remembered , when I look at him he refused to look at me. His own breakfast seeming to be the most interesting thing to him. We eat in silence and my mind reels does he hate me , he could still hate me but be considerate. I was reading alot into the fact he fetched my child hood favourite breakfast. Shaking myself mentally I eat and try to prepare myself for the day ahead. I wouldn't be trusted amongst the men , I had to get myself in with the women.

Abram had told me that there was pretty much no women in higher ranks , he was a sexist was Rupaul women was there to be whatever there men wanted. That's how Carter would have to treat me , he had to be one of them. I had to mentally prepare myself for that I'd always been a princess in Carter's eyes not an object. When we finish breakfast he finally looks at me " go dress we leave in five minutes ". I go to get up when I feel his hand wrap around my arm.

He whips me around and pulls me flush against his body . His eyes stare down at me with an unreadable emotion. I'm about to ask what's wrong when his lips crash against mine. It's messy , rough and painful like he's putting all his hatred into it. His hand comes upto my hair gripping it tight as he deepens the kiss. His tounge Massaging against mine,  it takes me a minute before I respond and participate. But as soon as I do he pulls back , he nostrils flared and his breathing heavy. " Cora you f*****g leave me again I'll hunt you down and kill you myself,  if you want back in with me. It won't be the same , I'm not the same as I was back home. This here is the life I've chose to live get in line or f**k off now. Because if you choose to stay then your mine, no matter what happens ".

He waits , waits for my response. My heart was still thundering , my pants damp and my lips swollen. Was that Ryder speaking or was that Carter , it seemed double meant. The emotion behind it wasn't an act , it was raw open and real. My head nods , I don't even know why. Am I answering as Cora or as Alissia s**t the lines where blurry. " Speak Cora " he says and I answer quick " yes I'm here , I'm here Ryder ". He even gave me an out while undercover leave now or be his if I run again he'll hunt me down. Was that an act , he lets go of me and pushes me gently towards the bedroom . " Then your mine " he pauses then says " Cora ". This was going to be a mental mind f**k , what would be real and what wouldn't. I did know one thing the more I was looking for was everything Ryder is , but Ryder isn't real. Is Ryder just and extension of Carter or once this was over. Would the dark bad boy I'd dreamt about for years be gone just a real life made up character. Would we get close , would I break his heart all over again when he was Carter . Am I just imaging all this , who's to say he's even looking at me that way. This could definitely just all be his cover , s**t not even twenty four hours and I was twisted up inside. Why did I have to over analyse everything.