Always my Protector (Book 2 )

Hi , welcome to my book Always my protector. This is book 2 in a series. It isn't a stand-alone book , I suggest you enjoy this story to its full potential. Please read book 1 which is Dirty Business. Hope you enjoy thank you so much for choosing my books. 5 years earlier " Issy " I breathed against her face , my arms were trembling and my stomach in knots. " Please Carter, I don't trust anyone but you " she said against my cheek. She had just turned 18 and her parents had thrown her a huge party at The Vixen. She didn't understand what she was asking of me. I'd dreamt about this day since I started puberty. I mean I'd always loved her , always wanted to protect her . I always knew she was it For me, they may have been other girls, I'd been sexually active since sixteen, the daughter of members of the organisation. But they all knew the score it was only Alissia for me, my Issy. Some have tried to change my mind , seeing it as a challenge even. But they'd realised they were wasting their time In the end, they would all give up and get bored. It wasn't the same for Issy though , I was her best friend, her protector, but she wasn't in love with me , the way I was her. Yea she spent her nights in my bed or me in hers , a battle our parents had long since given up on trying to stop. We would just sneak out , we both couldn't sleep without the other there now. It had been that way since we were kids. Our parents had sat us down. The conversation was still more embarrassing to think about now than what it was back then. " Kids, we need to speak with you " my dad had called from the kitchen. We had been sitting on the couch watching a movie when he'd shouted . We had walked into the kitchen to my mum and dad and hers, waiting for us to sit at the dinner table. " Take a seat guys " Uncle Elliott had said. We'd sat down and I'd immediately tried to think if we had done something wrong, that we had been caught out for. Her mum, Autie Kyla, looked uncomfortable , but my mum cut straight to the chase. " Carter turns sixteen tomorrow, we believe it's time you stopped sleeping in each other's beds " Mum's red hair was tied up, her make-up simple. She still didn't look a day over thirty but she definitely had the scary mum thing down. Me and my little brother Jenson wouldn't ever dare talk back. Alissia had gasped, her face filled with horror. " What no, why would you say that ?" She had already looked near tears. I had automatically scooted closer, my arm going around her. It pisses me off when people upset issy , even to the point I dare death glare my mum. She finds me amusing of course , and raises an eyebrow at me. " Alissia you don't understand , Carter is becoming a man with men's needs. He needs his own privacy to deal with those needs". Her dad spoke he wasn't embarrassed , he was always no bullshit, he'd tell the truth no matter if it hurt. " With all due respect Uncle Elliott that's my buisness and I can deal with my manly needs as you put it , in my own time away from issy ". I know where they was going with this , they are scared I'll start trying it on with her because I'll be a horny teenage boy and pick her as my release, convenient and close . I'd never do that, Issy was too innocent for anything like that yet. Mum sighs " What about when you get into relationships of your own , your girlfriend and boyfriend won't want you sleeping in bed with other people ". Kyla picks up where she left off " isn't it best you wean off eachother now " she trys to sound softer be the lesser of evils . Alissia shakes her head no " I don't want a boyfriend, I want my best friend. Carter isn't trying to f**k me, it's nothing like that and you all know it , when the time comes we can decide that. Where mature for our age, have to be in this family and you all know that. Can't you trust us to be mature enough to handle this ". She's laying on the guilt to our parents she's right with the mature thing. We was in combat training from a young age. Had to learn things normal kids wouldn't. Hunter had it worst Uncle Dante and Aunty Jessica's son, he was always under protection since someone once tried to kidnapp him as ransom. " Language Alissia " her mum warns . But she's always stabbing me in the heart we where still kids she wasn't to know how her words affected me , but the fact she says we wasn't like that stings reminds me it's all one sided always has been . They'd kept trying for the next two years to split , us that night I'd thought to myself they was probably right to do so. Mum had dragged me home after the talk , they'd stuck to there guns no matter what either of us said . Later when I'd heard a tapping at my window and Issy had climbed in. We'd been laid in bed quiet then she had said something I never expected. " Carter " her soft voice in the dark had made my heart beat that little bit faster. " Yes " I said back. " when the time comes I do want you to be my first , I want it to be someone I love and trust whole heartedly. I don't want it to be a boy that I don't know, I know we won't be boyfriend and girlfriend and I don't want to make it weird between us, but it just seems right it'll be you ". My heart had gone into over drive at her words , shocked wasn't even close to what i was feeling. I must have been quiet for too long because her hand touched my arm. " Carter " she sounded worried , clearing my throat I'd said the only thing I could think of I'd made a promise that would most likely break me. " when your eighteen issy and not before ". She'd leaned up kissed my cheek and placed her head on my chest and peacefully drifted to sleep. Me I'd been awake all that night sleep evading me bo matter what I tried , that's when I decided I would sleep with other girls. Loose my virginity first I wanted to know what I was doing so I could make it good for her and know how to not hurt her. Our parents caught us sneaking out most nights and eventually gave up so us in bed together now took no sneaking about to do simply just happened. " please Carter I don't trust anyone but you " that's the problem isn't it she trusted me. So here I was struggling to go through with a promise I made at sixteen. My love for her had only intensified over the last two years, where she had never insinuated I was more than her best friend. f**k I hated that term now. We had waited for her party to finish, I'd been drinking to try and calm my nerves. She had been looking at me shyly all night and I knew it was because she was cashing in on the promise. If even contemplated getting that drunk I'd pass out so that I had and excuse not to do it. But mum had cut me off after four drinks , I was due to start training tomorrow said I couldn't go hung over. Issy had got naked the second we closed and locked the door and I'd frozen not able to speak she was stunning everything about her was she was like my real life angel . I'd given myself a good talking to as she started to look uncomfortable and started covering herself up, anyone would do the same after I'd just started at her like a creep. I'd slowly waked upto her and dipped my head fully aware this was our first kiss. She felt so soft as my lips touched hers and a stampede of buttery had invaded my stomach as we kissed. Slowly I walked her to the bed laying her down and then I stripped off myself. Now here I was laid over the top of her propped up on my shaking arms so I don't squash her . Batteling with myself, she thinks I'm chickening out but I wasn't I was just trying to get my s**t together before I blew all over before we even started . " I know issy I'll make this good for you ok I'll try not to hurt you " she smiles up at me. " I know you will Carter, I love you " s**t it's not the same for her s**t keep repeating it keep repeatingshe loves me as a friend . I wish it was different but it wasn't , leaning down I start kissing her again. I need to set the bar high so she won't expect less of any other man. A man she will love as a lover not a friend she has to know how to be treated if I show her that then she will know the difference. I take it slow and I make sure it's good for her , she's like an angel beneath me. All the girls before where not comparable ,all other girls after won't be either I know that. She responds to me like a dream and I wonder if its diffrent because I love her that it feels so much better , I'd enjoyed s*x before but not like this . When I slowly sank into her she had gasped in pain and I'd frozen " keep going Carter " she'd pleaded. So I made my moves slow and gentle and when I'd broken her virginity she had clung to me so tight like she would never let go. But after that she had been gasping my name giving small moans of pleasure her eyes wide in wonder, I was regretting every other girl now. I knew then I'd never be the same , my heart would be broken and I'd always be living half a life. A cluess boys promise would ruin my whole life. I should have told her no ditched the party and ran , her body tightens around me her breath stuttering as I sink myself in and out of her and when she comes I begrudgingly follow. Wanting it to end but also never wanting it to aswell. leaning down I kiss her lips once more then slowly pulling away and laying on my back starting at the ceiling . It's quiet for a while both of us digesting what just happened. After a couple of minutes or so she sighs turning to look at her I see a tear slip from her eye. I'm automatically on high alert thinking I hurt her or she regrets it. Sitting up so I can look down at her I search her face frantic " issy what's wrong ? I'm so sorry did I hurt you ? was I too rough ? look we can pretend it didn't happen if you regret it " . She shakes her head more tears flowing. " issy please what is it ?". She looks away from me avoiding my eyes " I've been hiding something from you Carter " She whispers biting her lip. I think my heart stops as I wait for her to explain " I'm crying because I won't be able to have my comforter in bed with me anymore " more tears flow and she begins to sob. Sitting up I look at her confused , does she not want me here now we've slept together I know I'm her comforter so I know it's me she's talking of. " issy it dosen't have to change anything , we can just pretend it didn't happen " I plead with her she was my comforter too. She sits up too fetching the blanket with her to cover her breasts. " It's not that Carter, I don't regret this not one bit I've always wanted you to be my first " her blonde hair falls around her shoulders. " then what?" She chews her bottom lip and I know she's nervous , she only does that when she's nervous. A lead weight replaces the butterfly's I'd had in my stomach, I already know what's about to be said is something that's going to kill me. Its the only reason she would be nervous. " I've asked everyone not to tell you I didn't want you to know, I'd end up changing my mind if I saw it made you sad. So I told them all to keep it quiet ". She looks up at me guilt all over her face " tonight wasn't just for me turning eighteen it was also a leaving party ". Standing up of the bed I stare down at her confused. " leaving what do you mean your leaving ? " it comes out a bit harsh and she flinches. I don't think I've ever raised my voice at her before . " I'm going to university tomorrow and living on campus, I want to help the clinic and study to be a psychiatrist help Kelly with all those victims. The university isn't close by infact it's a four hour plane ride ". I feel my world tilt she was leaving and she hadn't told me or talked to me about it. " Why?" I grit out she knows what I'm asking why lie to me , why keep me in the dark . " You'd follow me or change my mind you want to train and become apart of the black ops team, I didn't want to be the one to stop that. Plus dad says I need to learn to be on myself and he's right we couldn't always do this what about when you get a girlfriend ". It's like a knife like she's stabbed me and twisted it in my heart. Anger I'm angry and hurt and I need to leave. " Please Carter " she says when I start to get dressed turning my back to her . I round on her my vision blurred and my heart pounding . " No Alissia no don't, your selfish you know that though don't you .You know I've loved you all my life , you know it isn't friendship for me like it is you there would be no other girl that meant more to me ever . Yet you asked this of me tonight and I did it because I've loved you since I was five . But you lie to me and leave without a thought to my feelings without warning, without me Alissia without f*****g me " I point to my chest. I don't want for her reply or wait for it I hear her sobs as I leave though , when I leave my bedroom slamming the door behind me. Mum's stood against the wall she's heard it all of course she did it's like she was able to see the future or some s**t she probably knows what we just did and the fact it was planned , and she looks at me with pity and guilt . " You knew?" I ask and she nods her head of course she did. I leave the house my dad calling my name aswell as mum but I don't stop. The next day when everyone is gathered around the car that was taking her to the airport , I watch from afar behind the cottages near her house . I watch as she hugs and cries with her family , I watch as she looks around for me and the hurt face when I'm knowhere to be seen. She gets in the car and leaves after more hugs more kisses more tears , that's when I pick up the black suitcase at my feet. I was suppose to join Myles's team the good guy black ops team the one that kept sometimes to the law . Keep me on the straight and narrow away from the heavier more dangerous stuff. Away from the illegal s**t , it would have kept me here at home with my family with Alissia . The family that f*****g lied and hid s**t from me. I couldn't, f**k that I wasn't sticking around here to see them all tip toeing around me on egg shells. No I'd go to Russia and train there join there black ops team that don't mess around dosen't keep to the law and I'd do whatever they requested dangerousor not. I'd only agreed to Myles's team so Lissy wouldn't worry too much . Looking back over my shoulder I catch the eyes of my mother , she looks at me knowingly she knows I'm going. She dosen't sound the alarm though she just nods, takes my brothers and dad's arms and walks them inside Elliott and Kylas home. She was giving me my cover to leave unnoticed as the rest follow her inside , Issy' s car long gone and so was I. She would come back holidays and s**t I couldn't be here when she did I couldn't face her or the heartbreak.