Wild Rage

Kabanata 17

Umupo ako sa dalampasigan habang pinakikinggan ang mga alon sa dagat habang inaalala ko ang huling usapan namin ni tito Hermano.

"Rage," tawag ni tito Hermano sa akin habang siya ay nakahiga sa kanyang kama. Marahil naalimpungatan siya at tuluyang nagising. I looked at his pale face and I could tell he was uncomfortable and in pain.

"Nasa ospital na naman ba ako?" dagdag pa ni tito habang siya ay umuubo.

I stood up from the couch and went beside his bed. "Yes, tito," I said.

Pabalik-balik kami sa ospital for the past three years. It's a good thing we're living in London. His life keeps getting longer because of the medicines he gets from here. Ngunit ngayong mga nakaraan, tito Hermano's condition keeps getting worse.

"What's the matter, tito?" Kunot-noo kong tanong sa kanya. Nakatitig ito sa malayo na tila ba may iniisip.

"Rage," sambit niyang muli sa pangalan ko. "Alam kong malapit na akong mamaalam sa mundong ito," he added without looking at me.

"Don't say that, tito," seryoso kong wika. "We have very good resources here for your recovery. I haven't left your side and I will never leave you. I will keep on taking care of you as long as I can."

Tito Hermano smiled. Ngunit umiling rin siya pagkatapos. "Ayokong tumanda ka na sa akin umiikot ang mundo mo, hijo. I raised you like my own since your parent's..." hindi na tinapos ni tito ang kanyang sasabihin. Marahil ay ayaw niyang masaktan ang kalooban ko.

Tito Hermano took the responsibility of raising me when my parents died in a car accident. Matalik na kaibigan ni tito Hermano ang mga magulang ko, and him being the nicest person I have ever known, took the responsibility of being a parent to me. I was only eight years old when he took me home with him in the Philippines. That's what tito Hermano told me as I only had vivid memories of what happened to my parents. I was just a child when they died. But growing up, I eventually accepted everything. I accepted tito Hermano as my father even though I call him 'tito'. He understood that I respect my real father's role in my life.

"It's okay, tito. Matagal ko nang tanggap ang pagkamatay ng mga magulang ko. It's all because of you," saad ko kay tito Hermano. He looked up and smiled sadly at me. Inabot niya ang kamay ko at hinawakan niya iyon na tila ba iyon na ang huling beses na mahahawakan niya ito. "Don't make that sad face, tito. I won't let you die too soon. If I can—"

"Rage, you know my condition is getting worse. May nais sana akong sabihin sa iyo bago ako... mamaalam sa mundo."

Napahilamos ako ng mukha dahil sa frustration. I might have accepted my parents death, but I can't let go of tito Hermano just yet. Not yet. He's all I have. He is the only person I consider a family.

"Si Ysabelle," dagdag pa ni tito.

Natuod ako sa aking kinatatayuan sa pagbanggit ni tito Hermano sa kanyang nag-iisang anak na babae. I didn't dare to speak and waited for tito to continue what he has to say.

Nangingilid ang mga luha ni tito Hermano, marahil ay inaalala niya ang kanyang napakagandang anak. "That stubborn girl is now a lady. Time flies so fast, isn't it? Hindi ko man lamang makikita ang mga apo ko kay Ysa," natatawang wika ni tito Hermano. "May hihingin akong pabor sayo, Rage."

"Anything," saad ko.

"Umuwi ka sa Pilipinas," ani tito.

"What? No. Paano ka rito? Walang mag-aalaga sayo," tutol ko.

"Nais ko sanang... hanapan mo ng mapapangasawa si Ysabelle bago ako mamaalam," pagpapatuloy ni tito Hermano.

Nagtagis ang aking panga sa aking narinig. I unconsciously clenched my hand just by thinking of Ysabelle being married to another man.

"Why?" I asked.

"Malalaman mo ang kasagutan sa iyong katanungan kung uuwi ka sa Pilipinas," nakangiting wika ni tito. "The man who wins my lovely daughter's heart will know the reason why I want her to get married. I just hope that the man she is going to marry is someone she truly loves," nangangambang wika ni tito Hermano. "Alam kong masama ang loob niyo sa isa't isa ni Ysa bago ka umalis papunta rito sa London ten years ago, Rage. Pero sana, ang pakiusap kong ito sayo ang maging daan sa pag-aayos ninyong dalawa. Ikaw ang tinuturing niyang kuya. Kapag nawala ako, wala nang magtatanggol sa anak ko. Ikaw na lang ang mayroon siya, Rage. Kaya sana, huwag mong pababayaan ang mahal kong anak..."

Hindi ako nakaimik. I reminisced the old times.

Ysabelle and I were inseparable back in the days. I was her hero and she was my little princess. No one dared to mess with her whenever she was with me. I fought her bullies. I carried her on my back when she is tired. I cooked for her, I taught her anything I know, and I always tell her that I would never leave her. Until I turned eighteen and she turned fifteen. It was the one of the hardest time of my life aside from my parents death. I had to leave her so I could study in London as my parents last wish to tito Hermano before their lifeline turned blank in the hospital. Nagalit si Ysa sa akin dahil nagsinungaling ako sa kanya na hindi ko siya iiwan. The truth was, I didn't know I was going to London. Sinabihan lamang ako ni tito one week before my flight. I didn't know that tito Hermano had settled everything.

I will never forget what Ysa swore in my face that day.

"Akala ko magkasama tayo palagi at hindi maghihiwalay. But you lied! I will never forgive you, kuya Rage. I hate you! I don't want to see you ever again!" Ysabelle screamed at me. Her beautiful eyes were swollen from crying. Pain was also evident in her eyes. I felt like a knife was stabbed in my chest just by hearing those words from her.

Ysa ran away matapos niyang sabihin iyon sa akin. I stood there broken like a broken glass. And I was never the same again after that.

Ysa and I never spoke to each other again since that day until now. I didn't dare to call her, so did she. I didn't even know how she looks like today. I didn't dare to look at her photos on social media. I knew she blocked me from everything and from her life.

At ngayong may habilin ang aking amain na hindi ko kayang tanggihan, I have to break the wall I had built between Ysa and I. We are both different people now.

Ngunit walang araw na hindi ko naiisip si Ysa. For the past ten years, she never left my mind.

"Alright. I will go home," I finally decided after a long silence.

Tito Hermano smiled and took my hand to pat it. "Alam kong hindi mo pababayaan si Ysa. Maraming salamat, anak," aniya.

It was the second time tito Hermano called me that. Iyong una ay noong tinanggap niya ako sa kanyang pamamahay. Since that day, I never felt alone and lonely because I had a second family. It was all thanks to tito Hermano.

I hugged tito Hermano before I left the hospital to process my flight back to the Philippines.

However, I have different plans contrary to tito Hermano's favor.

Habang nakatitig ako sa flight details sa monitor ng aking laptop ay nagsalita ako.

"Forgive me, tito. I have to do what I got to do."

I hope tito will understand dahil ito ang kauna-unahang beses na susuwayin ko siya.