Alphas broken mate

Shadows of the past I

Beast

What felt like an eternity of hell, relieving those f*****g moments, I jumped awake like every other time I fall asleep.

My whole body was covered in a cold sweat as I stared at the ceiling of my childhood bedroom.

And for a few moments, it felt like nothing changed, like the past couple of years hadn't happened.

Like I hadn't run from the pack in the middle of the night... that I had been hiding from my pack and my responsibilities to it.

Guilt filled my chest and the need to run forced me to get up, but the moment I tried to sit up in bed, the cuffs around my wrists stopped me.

Great... I am a prisoner again... but this time I knew that getting away would be a lot harder.

Shit.

My head hit the pillow and scents from the sheets filled my room, bringing back memories.

Memories that I was sure I erased from my mind or buried so deep that they would never resurface.

FUCK.

"You are awake."

Daniel's low voice filled the quiet room.

I didn't answer him.

"As talkative as you were two days ago, I see."

Wait, did he say two days?

Had I been out for so long?

Shit.

"A healer checked on you while you were out. There were a few bites that were not healing as they should have, an infection was starting to spread and, as you are very malnourished, and in general very poor health, it is not healing as normal."

I hadn't noticed anything like that. Most of the time now, I am numb to physical pain... or physical scenes in general. I am not sure if this was due to the trauma I suffered or just being broken in general, but I really almost never felt physical discomfort.

"She said that you would be fine if I just fed you properly and got you hydrated. Those bites will clear up in a couple of days, but they will scar."

This time I almost chuckled.

He sounded really concerned about the bites scaring me, but I guess it will be a surprise for him that my whole body is covered in bite marks and other scars.

Back in the arena, no one really cared about helping the wounds properly, scars made you look more dangerous and that attracted more attention.

Not that I would have let any of them touch me, even if they wanted to do something as dress my wounds. I would have broken hands and attacked them to the point where they would have given up on me. That was what happened with overly friendly gamma guards who decided it was a good idea to hit on me, promising me a safe escape if I f****d them. It took twelve grown-ass gammas to leave my cage nearly alive for them to stop bothering me.

After the last one almost died, it became a well-known fact that anyone who touches me will die.

Sure, there were still some assholes who thought that they were the exception to the rules, but I helped them change their minds really fast.

I heard Daniel walk deeper into the room and stop next to my bed.

Him standing over me like that... it felt so familiar.

How many nights had I woken up from yet another nightmare only to find him standing there?

He would sneak into my room while his parents were sleeping and hold me as I cried.

He never asked why I was crying or any other stupid question, he just held me, letting me cry it out. Until I fell back to sleep, but this time in his arms. And when I woke up the next time in the morning, he would be gone.

So looking at him right now... s**t.

I closed my eyes and turned back to look at the ceiling, at least the white wooden boards didn't make my heart beat again.

As I took a deep breath, forcing myself to calm down, the scent of freshly cooked food filled my lungs.

And it smelled good, way better than the s**t they fed us in the arena.

"Here, I brought you breakfast."

He said as he laid the tray he was carrying on the bedside table.

"Let me unlock your cuffs so you can eat."

I froze instantly when he leaned over me.

He was too close.

Shit.

I closed my eyes and stopped breathing for a moment.

The moment the cuffs clicked open, instinctively I tried to jump out of bed, but his hands on my shoulder kept me in place.

"I said so you can eat, not run or move out of this bed at all."

His voice was more a growl than real words, but I understood what he meant. And so, without releasing another sound, I sat up in bed, and he forced the tray into my lap. I had no choice but to accept it.

I stared at it for a few moments when he said.

"You eat by yourself or I am force-feeding all this to you."

Not able to believe that he had just said that, I blinked a few times and slowly lifted the fork.

I stared at it for a moment, my instinct to stab him with it and run was very strong. He must have noticed that I was staring at it for too long because he said.

"Don't even think about it. We both know that you won't make it out of this room even if you stab my eye, so sit and eat."

The low growl in his voice had just enough alpha force in it to make me start eating.

When the first taste of the pancakes he brought for me hit my tongue, I realized that the last time I had pancakes was when I was back here all these years ago and the feeling that nothing changed... that nothing happened returned with full force.