Alphas broken mate

Beast I sat in my favorite corner of the cage and started at the door. Any minute now, the doors will open and the guard will lead me out to the arena where I will fight whoever was stupid enough to sign up for the fighting or unlucky enough to end up here as a punishment. But neither of those things mattered. Whoever they were, they would be dead in a few seconds. I took a deep breath through my mouth, refusing to breathe through my nose because the smell of piss and rotting meat was too strong for my wolf nose. This was the part I hated the most. Just sitting here alone with nothing better to do than just think. In the arena, at least my mind went quiet. When I was there I did not need to think, all I had to do was follow my instinct. Everything else fades away when I am in there, it is just me and my prey. I took another breath as I closed my eyes, feeling so tired. It was not physical exhaustion that could be cured by sleep and a good meal. Physically, I could take on a whole army and be fine after that. No, this was my soul's exhaustion that could not be cured by anything. The hair at the back of my neck stood up, signalling that I was no longer alone in this disgusting dungeon. It was the alpha of this pack, a sickening man, but he owned me. Well, at least that was how he saw it. He helped me find this part of me, the only part that was still functional. Sure he was not doing it out of charity or even intentionally, but he gave me the moment of silence I craved so much for. And I was willing to pay any price for it, even if it meant that I would have to kill. We both know that I could walk out of here if I wanted to. None of his fighters could take me on, not even him. But he also knew that I had no other place to go and going solo wasn't the best plan. Here at least I was somewhat under control. I had a purpose and reason to go on. "How is my favourite fighter?" His smile looked so fake that it almost made me feel sick in my stomach. Well, it was almost sick too strong of a word, it was more like it left a sour taste in my mouth, and I had a sudden urge to kick that look out of his face. But I pushed those urges down. As usual, I didn't answer him. I haven't spoken a word since the day I arrived here, or more precisely, I was dragged here when one of the Gammas caught me trespassing. Thinking back, I maybe should not have given up so quickly and fought back, but I didn't really care nor do I care now. They dragged me to their alpha and he tried to question me. He tried to get the name of the pack I belonged to, but when I said nothing they decided that I was unable to speak. It sounded like a good way to get out of talking to them and that was way more appealing than having a conversation with any of them. So I played the part. I haven't made a sound or said a word the whole time I was here. It was clear that they didn't really care where I was from or why I was there, but now they had a new toy to break and that was so much fun for them. So they sent me to work with the omegas on the cleaning crew. It was more like slavery than anything else. All the Omegas were treated worse than animals. Constantly abused, but no one said anything. I had very little care for what was happening around me and did not wish to play the hero. So I finished the tasks that I was told to do and kept to myself. It felt kinda good doing all the physically draining work. Hard physical labour made the images and voices in my head go a little bit quieter. And for a good few hours, I felt a little more at peace. I closed my eyes tightly, trying to push those images out of my mind as they started to pop back up again, but there was no use. They are always there, no matter how hard I try to erase them and no amount of willpower or force could erase them... the only thing that worked was the arena. All was going pretty well... well as good as one can be for a slave with no rights. Until that one morning when I messed up, I showed that I could do more than the basics and I got a new job here. That morning I was assigned to the cleaning team and it was the morning after one of the parties. The whole pack house was trashed. Empty bottles everywhere, food, and all sorts of s**t on the floor. Among all the trash there were a few people passed out on the floor. Too drunk to walk home or be carried, so the pack just left them there to sober up. I ignored their existence and just picked up one piece after another until I had no choice but to move close to one of them. He was lying in a puddle of his own puke and other body liquids that I had no wish to identify. Carefully not to wake the man on the floor, I picked up s**t around him when I felt a hand grab my ankle. I acted without thinking when I reacted. With the free leg, I kicked his throat and shattered his trachea, he was dead in a few moments, droning in his own blood. The only problem with what happened was not the dead man on the floor. I have seen many of those around on more than one occasion in my short time here. A dead body was a must at these parties and no one really cared. The problem was that one of the gammas saw what I had done, so he dragged me to the alpha "to have a talk". I stayed quiet just as I did before. Staring at a spot on the floor, while the two of them were disgusted about what would happen to me. And there wasn't even a small part of me that cared about what happened to me now. If I was telling the truth… I would be revealed if they did finally kill me. Then all of this pain and… anger would disappear. No more pain, nightmares… and memories of that f*****g day. "Throw her into the pit, let's see how well she holds up in a real fight." Those words were the deciding moment when I was removed from the omegas and put in my current position as a fighter. The gamma nodded and dragged me to this very cage I am in right now. That night in the arena, I killed three men and two women. Over the next month, I killed fifty more. By now, I have lost count of how many lives I have taken... they were not important to me... the only thing I cared about was the quiet moments when my mind went blank. That was when I became the Beast. The unstoppable killer, that hasn't said a word or cared who she killed. My name alone became a legend that made most s**t their pants with fear. I have seen it happen. Without any emotions on my face, I stared at the alpha waiting for him to stop talking and let me out of here. So I could silence the voices... the memories... erase the images, even if it was for a moment.