Tears of love

5. Pretexts.

CHAPTER 5: Pretexts.

The walk home, Jeremy makes it incredibly fast, every few moments he glances at me and licks his lips. Desire feels thick in the air and I bite my lip as his hand travels to my thigh, the back of his pinky moves to the inside of my thigh and in a firm fit, he makes me spread my legs a little apart.

I moan, leaning my head back against the seat. Jer clenches his jaw, looks like it's taking all his self-control to restrain himself, but loses the battle a little as he reaches under my dress to cradle me possessively on the fabric.

I feared or hoped, I still don't know, that on the way home Jeremy would react and regret it, however, as his fingers trace the wet cleft between my lips, I know that slowing this down is not an option.

When we arrive at his house, all the lights are off and Jeremy quietly pulls me inside, climbing the stairs carefully and in the dark until he pulls me into his room.

When he kisses me, it's shattering.

My s*x life is not the most extensive, I've fooled around, I've played around a few times with a few drinks in me, but things have never gone too far, not like I suspect they will now.

I wonder if subconsciously I was always waiting for him.

Jeremy kisses me so expertly it makes my legs tremble. His tongue invades my mouth desperately and I don't even know where to put my hands, so I opt to wrap them around his neck.

"Are you sure about this, Rora?" He asks agitatedly against my lips.

Am I sure about this?

Actually, I'm not.

The situation feels a little dirty, done on the sly, as if this is a crime. However, I consciously went into this situation, I agreed to have it even if it is this way. And as stupid as the consequences to my heart are, I don't want to stop.

"Yes" I whisper haltingly and to give my words more validity, I slip my hands into his shirt and run my nails gently along the expanse of his back. Jer closes his eyes and swallows saliva, the hypnotic movement of his throat as it passes takes my attention, so I'm surprised when he pushes me towards the wall and entangles my hands between one of his, holding them above my head, cornering me.

"Don't touch me, not yet" his lips lower in a slow caress to my earlobe and he bites it delicately. "If you touch me, butterfly, I swear I'll last less than we both think."

Jer goes straight down my neck and sucks my skin effusively, my face turns and I smell that scent of his, the one that has haunted me for the last few years.

It feels so good, his body molded to mine, his breath hot on my skin, his tongue licking me, his teeth scraping, then his hand moving up the inside of my thigh to my crotch, where I undoubtedly lick for him.

My head tilts involuntarily to give him more access to his mouth and my pulse races a mile a minute as he sucks hard at a strategic spot.

"Jer" I whisper his thumb presses between my lips, parting them to find the little button that triggers my lust. "Jer, I..."

Why is something deep in my heart asking me to run away?

"Do you trust me?" His lips slowly suck on my lower lip.

I nod, looking into his now darkened eyes.

"Then let me" I answer nothing and he smiles at me before his hand pushes the damp fabric of my panties aside, then his finger probes bare skin.

I arch against the wall, Jeremy looks at my raised breasts at him and bites his lip, rapt.

His free hand slowly caresses my belly, tracing around my navel as gradually two fingertips frolic around my clit, teasing me wetter and wetter.

My eyes close on their own and my mouth opens in a gasp, calling his name. His hair tickling my jaw, Jeremy reaches down and sucks on my breast, sucking my small n****e through the fabric, then biting it with a gentleness that sends a bolt of fire throughout my body.

"You are so wet" he taps against my clit, then moves down to my entrance and penetrates me just a little.

Then his phone rings.

"Damn!" He sticks his forehead to mine and, with his free hand, pulls the phone out of his pants pocket.

I feel my heart pounding in my ears as Jeremy's hand is still on me, but suddenly and at full speed, he pulls it out and clenches his jaw tightly.

"Tyler," he murmurs in a hoarse voice, immediately taking a step away from me. "Your sister?" His eyes look at me and I feel my stomach twist as I stare into his gaze.

He looks embarrassed and remorseful.

"She... must be in her room by now, I left her there a little while ago," he murmurs, running a hand through his hair.

He looks so desperate.

With jerky steps he walks over to the window and turns his back to me.

I had been motionless all this time, but when I hear his words, I already know what's coming, so at full speed I fix my clothes. As a nervous act, I start to play with a lock of hair as I watch his tense back.

"Yes, I'll talk to you tomorrow," he hangs up the phone and stares out the window, not looking at me. "I'm sorry" he rests his forearm on the window frame and I notice how tense his muscles are.

"I..." My voice is cracking, so I quietly clear it before I speak again: "I'd better go."

"Yes" I'm annoyed that he won't even give me his face to talk to me and for the first time, I feel incredibly angry with him. "I'm sorry" he repeats again and his voice sounds distressed. "I... I don't know what came over me, I guess the drinks went to my head."

I smile, nodding angrily.

Drinks?

Jeremy doesn't even have a glass of alcohol on him.

But that's fine, if he wants to use alcohol as a pretext, let him.

He's acting like we've been on the verge of committing a crime and I want to cry not because I'm hurt by his words, because they don't hurt, they infuriate me.

It took every ounce of my being to accept this, to sneak into his house behind his parents' back as if I were a dirty secret. I gave up a bit of my essence when I allowed him to touch me despite knowing that I will possibly be just his rebound.

And this jerk excusing everything that happened under the guise of alcohol?

He's a coward, hiding behind pretexts because he doesn't even have the balls to look me in the face and accept that he at least wants me.

"f**k you, Jeremy."

I speed out of that house to take refuge in my room and for the first time, I don't even allow myself to think about that asshole in my sleep.