CH.21
1059 Words
*** Trigger Warning ***
This chapter talks about losing a child
{Alexander}
After Ember and I left the hospital, Alpha Hardin met us at the packhouse door and told us we were going to be going to stay at his cabin away from the packland for a few days. I told him it was nice of him to offer but we didn't need to. He told me he was not taking no for an answer and used his Alpha title on me. He said we needed to get away for a few days to grieve and have the peace to do it. I told him thank you and said I was going to go pack Ember and I some clothes. He told me he had already taken care of packing for us and he was going to take us himself. When we were in the car headed to the cabin, He said it would be hard to get service out there and I would need to walk to the road to call when we were ready to come home. After he dropped us off, Ember was standing outside staring into the trees and I asked if she was ok. She turned and said,
"No Alexander, I am not ok. We just lost our pup why in goddess name would I be ok? You shouldn't be ok either Alexander. We hadn't even gotten a chance to announce that we were expecting and now we won't be able to experience the excitement of our first pup. No gender reveal, no birthday parties, no playdates at the park. We only have visits to a gravesite Alex."
I said I know Ember and it is killing me inside but I have to try and be strong for you. You need me and I have to be mentally there for you. She said,
"No Alex. You are wrong about that. We need each other. This wasn't just my pup. He was our pup and you need me just as much as I need you. You lost your firstborn son and I know you are not going to be able to be there mentally for me because it's killing you just like it is me. I need the man I love, the father of that beautiful baby boy to grieve with me."
I pulled her into a hug and she began to sob. I tried my best to hold back but I knew I needed to let it out and I cried with her. We stood there until dark holding each other and crying. I picked Ember up and carried her inside and sat her on the bed. I made a fire in the fireplace and found some soup that Alpha Hardin stocked for us and made Ember and I something to eat. She has been eating very little since we left the hospital and I knew she needed something in her stomach. She refused at first but I told her if she didn't eat some of it I was going to have to force feed her and she finally gave in and ate. She ended up eating the whole bowl and then fell asleep right after. I walked out on the porch and stood there staring into the night sky and asking the moon goddess why. I knew I wouldn't get an answer but I guess it helped get it off my chest.
I don't know what time it was when I finally went inside but I stirred the coals in the fireplace and sat down in the chair next to the bed and fell asleep. When I woke up Ember wasn't in the bed. I walked outide and didn't see her. I called out for her but got no reply. I took off through the woods looking for her. I came to the lake where Alpha Hardin found Van and I and there she was sitting by the edge of the water staring out at the lake. I knelt down next to her and asked if she was ok and she she sighed and shook her head no. I said Ember I know you aren't ok as far as what has happened to us but we have to try and be strong for our pup. He wouldn't want us to do anything that could hurt us. She turned and said,
"I know Alex. I am trying to get my head in the right place but it's hard. Every time I think I am making progress I get kicked back 3 steps and I don't know what else to do."
I said Baby, It isn't something that is going to happen in the few days since we lost him. It is something that is going to take time. I need you to try eating more and I need you to try and get up and not sleep constantly. It doesn't help the depression. She sighed and said she would try. I helped her up and I said let's go for a walk. I led her through the woods and she asked how I knew my way around here. I told her that this was where the Alpha and Luna found us and she asked if I was joking. I told her I wasn't and she gave me a half smile. Even though it was a half smile, it was still a smile and I will take it. I pulled her hand up to my lips and I kissed it. I took her to the spot where Van and I camped the night before we were found and I sat down on the ground and pulled her into my lap. We talked about that day for a few minutes before I heard her stomach growl. I helped her up and we headed back to the cabin so I could fix us something to eat. I got everything out of the cooler and Ember came over to the fireplace and asked if she could help me make breakfast. I smiled at her and said I would love for her to help me. After we finished breakfast, I asked if she was up for another walk and she said she was. I led her up to the mountain and we sat there looking out over the lake and just taking in the peace of being out here.
- Writer
