TO BE WITH YOU

CHAPTER 3 - GAZE

ARYNN’s POV

Pagkatapos ng klase namin ay sininop ko ang lahat ng aking gamit. Nararamdaman ko ang matagal na titig sa akin ni Sassy.

"Huhulaan ko. Didiretso ka na naman sa library," masungit na saad nito.

"'Hindi ba binigyan tayo ng plate ni professor?" dahilan ko.

"Arynn, sa isang linggo pa ang deadline niyan. You don't have to lie to me. Pupuntahan mo lang si Youji."

"That's because he never goes to other places. Doon ko lang siya nasosolo dahil hindi niya kasama ang barkada niya."

Nagbuntonghininga si Sassy. Umayos ito nang upo para mas magkaharap pa kami. "Look, Arynn, never naman akong naging hadlang kung saan ka mas nag-e-enjoy. But do you really like this guy? Kasi, tingin ko, he is into serious relationship. And you, uhm..."

"This is different, Sass. I've never felt this way before," saad ko bago tumingin sa relong pambisig. "I really need to go. See you later, Sassy."

Pagkatapos kong sabihin iyon ay tumayo na ako at kinuha ang bag saka dali-daling lumabas ng room. Halos patakbo na akong naglalakad para mas mabili marating ang library.

"Miss Dela Rosa." Napahinto ako sa harap ng Library nang marinig ang boses ni Youji. Humarap ako sa kanya at matamis na nginitian.

He was dressed in a white shirt and a varsity jacket. His shoulders were broad. He was wearing a black plain cup. He had loosened it and carry it on his shoulder, exposing a powerful, chiseled neck, more of that tan skin, and the upper edges of well-defined pecs.

"Hi, Youji. What a coincidence."

"This isn't a big campus, missy." Mahina itong tumawa at unti-unting lumapit.

Nasamyo ko ang panlalaking amoy nito. Oh, I want that on me. Binuksan nito ang pinto at pinauna akong pumasok. He is an ideal man of many woman! That's why I have to act fast.

We deposited our bags on the counter and the assistant gave us number tags. I placed it inside my pocket. Nakakuha kami agad ng puwesto ni Youji at ibinaba roon ang mga hawak naming books.

"Have you eaten?" he whispered.

"Are you going to invite me for lunch?" I lowered my voice so he would not know I'm excited.

He laughed. "Kind of."

"Okay," I said softly.

Nagkaroon ng sariling mundo si Youji nang magsimula ito sa researching niya samantalang ako ay tahimik lang na inoobserbahan siya. He looks so nice and gentle. Parang never pa ito nanakit ng babae sa buong buhay niya.

Hindi ko napigilan ang malalim na paghinga na siyang nakapukaw ng pansin ni Youji. Kumunot ang kanyang noo. "Are you bored?"

"H-huh? No, no. It's just, uhm, difficult to solve this problem," dahilan ko.

"Show me, maybe I could help you."

"I'm okay. I don't want to disturb you."

"Having you by my side is enough to distract me, Missy."

Namula ako sa kanyang sinabi. Sa unang pagkakataon, hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko. I know how to flirt. I know how to twist men between my fingers. But, what the hell, my mind is a mess right now.

Natapos namin ang ginagawa at umalis na ng library. Dinala ako ni Youji sa school canteen dahil may ibibigay daw muna siya sa isa niyang kaibigan.

Pagpasok palang namin ay may tumawag na ng kayang pangalan. "Jiji, we're here!"

Jiji? What?

Sumunod ako kay Youji nang lumapit siya roon. Tatlong lalaki at dalawang babae ang nakaupo sa iisang mesa ang nadatnan namin. The men high-fived Youji while the women observed me.

"Aren't you Arynn Dela Rosa?" the girl with short hair asked.

Wow, no one offered a sit before throwing questions at me.

I smiled. "Yes. How did you know me?"

She laughed. "Gosh, my brother owns Uphill. It's your favorite place, right? Well, lady, you have some reputation."

"Megan." Youji warned the girl and she stopped talking.

"Are you dating?" usisa ng lalaki na may tatlong piercing sa tenga.

Bago pa ako makasagot ay inunahan na ako ni Youji. "No. We're just friends."

Parang may kirot akong naramdaman nang sabihin niya iyon. Hindi ko siya masisisi. His friends are right. I have a bad reputation and having me as his girlfriend is not good for him.

I tried to smile, hiding the pain. "He's right."

His friends nodded. I don't want to be rude, but I want to leave right now. I dislike how they look at me.

I looked at Youji. "I-I'm sorry, I should go."

"But what about lunch?"

"Sassy texted and she's waiting. I'm sorry, next time na lang."

Pagkatapos kong sabihin iyon ay iniwan ko na sila at nagmamadaling lumabas ng canteen. Hindi na nga ako dapat umaasa na may future kami ni Youji. Kung alam ko lang na iibig ako sa isang tulad niya ay pinahalagahan ko na sana ang aking sarili.

Wait, iibig? What a joke!

Nakauwi ako ng bahay at dumiretso agad sa aking kuwarto. Nakatulala sa puting kisame at malalim na nag-isip. Ayos lang kung hanggang kaibigan lang kami basta kasama ko siya. I don't care what might people say, I won't let go of him.

Kinabukasan ay pumasok ako ng unibersidad na may ngiti sa mga labi. I am excited to meet Youji. Sa subject na papasukan ko ngayon ay magkasama kami sa iisang classroom. Walang seating arrangement kaya malaya akong tumabi sa kanya.

I was about to greet when I noticed that he is with his circle of friends. Walang free spot sa kahit saan na malapit kay Youji. Nawala ang kanyang ngiti nang magtagpo ang aming mga mata at una itong umiwas. Parang hangin lamang ako na dumaan sa kanilang harapan. Yumuko na lamang ako at umupo sa upuan nakaayos sa likuran, medyo malayo sa kanila.

Pagkatapos ng klase ay lumapit si Youji sa professor para magtanong. Bago umalis ang mga kaibigan niya ay tinakip nito ang kanyang balikat at sinabing sumunod nalang sa tamabayan nila.

That gave me a chance to talk to him and ask him.

Nang natapos na ang pagtatanong niya ay bumalik na ito sa kanyang puwesto para kunin ang bag kaya dali-dali akong lumapit sa kanya.

"Uhm, hi," I spoke.

Tiningnan niya ako. His eyes were cold, and his expression was blank. "Missy, what can I do for you?"

“Missy is not my name. Tinatawag mo lang baa ko niyan dahil nakalimutan mo ang pangalan ko?” Pagsusungit ko.

He avoided my gaze. “I remembered, Arynn.”

"Good. Now, can we talk?”

"Sorry, let's talk next time. I’m busy at the moment," he said without looking at me.