My Foolish Heart

Running away

     Belinda was my second Mom here in New York. I was close to I treated her as my Mom, and she treated me like her daughter. She was rooting for Miles and me to be together. She has openly told me that she never wanted anyone for Miles but me, but of course, it was only between us. I have never agreed with nor disagree, though deep in my heart, there was a spark of hope within.

        I checked myself on the full mirror behind my cabinet’s door. I was wearing my favorite faded blue jeans and a yellow tank top with a blue cardigan. I tied up my brown hair in a half and half down bun. Putting a small amount of makeup enough to look, I wasn’t wearing at all.  

        I went downstairs, got out, and locked the door behind me. I sighed. It was only eight in the morning, and Miles’ house was only four blocks away from our street. It would be a brilliant little exercise since I haven’t done any this week because I was too busy preparing for my new adventure. The thought of buying a car came to my head, but it was too soon to decide since I still wasn’t sure If I would stay here for long.

        I walked for about 5 minutes and then stopped in a two-story Gregorian styled house. Memories flooded again. I used to love staying and hanging out here. It was like a second home for Marcus and me, especially when Mom and Dad making business trips. Unlike my Mom, Belinda was a stay-at-home mom. She loved grooming and taking care of her family. Belinda only had Miles but wanted more children, but after four miscarriages, Belinda gave up. She told me, Maybe it was not meant for them to have a big family; nonetheless, she was happy to have Marcus and me.

        I rang the doorbell, a lady inside shouted, “Coming!” then she opened the door—her eyes saucer wide when she saw me.

        “Kathyyyyyyyyy!!!!?? Is that you!!” she yelled then hugged me.

        “Belinda!!” I replied while hugging her back

        “Oh My! come inside, please! God, I missed you!! How are you!? You look so beautiful. I can’t believe you’re here!!” she said in one breath after closing the door. I smiled. She really did miss me.

        “Your Mom and Dad never told me you’re coming here? It’s such a big surprise. My dearest daughter from another Mother came back and looks very stunning,” she continually praised me, making me flushed in red. She looked excited, seeing me again. I can’t blame her. Cutting all the ties with the people I love was the first thing I did when I left the country.

        “I told them not to tell anyone I was coming back, I wanted to surprise you, and I guess I didn’t fail,” I happily replied

        She took my hand and brought me to the living room area.

        “Please sit down, is there anything you want to drink? Juice, Water, or wine?”

        I chuckled and said, “Wine will do, but not today,” we then sat down on their soft couch in their massive living room.

        She laughed back. “I was just kidding. I’ll let Nina know to bring us something here. Have you had breakfast?” she asked.

        “Oh, thank you, but I’m fine. But I won’t want to miss the food for lunch,” I said

        “Of course! I will cook you and Miles’favorite! By the way, I need to call him and tell him to have lunch here with us. I’m pretty sure he will love to see you back. He was never home, you know since he started his post as the company's CEO. I’ll be back in a minute,” she told me while she headed down to the kitchen. I was about to follow and help her when she asked me to sit down.

        “Sit down, sweetheart, enjoy yourself, and rest. I know you’re still tired and jet-lagged.”

“Please let me know, Belinda, if you needed any help. I’m fine.”

        While sitting, my eyes roamed around the living room. The place hasn’t changed. I thought. The same color, ambiance, and warmth were still here after not being around for roughly eight years. My eyes kept looking around when I spotted something inside the entertainment area. I saw some picture frames. Then a small frame on the side piqued my eyes.

        I stood up and walked to see it closer. There were old, framed pictures of Miles and his family. When he was a baby, a toddler pictures with some photos of my brother Marcus with him, and on the last frame, there was a picture of us. It was me in bed giggling while holding a cake sitting next to Miles kissing my right temple. I remember that day. It was my 15th birthday. Marcus and Miles surprised me. My parents were away that morning. It was also later that day I argued with Miles, footing the wall between us.

    “Who are you, and What are you doing here?” said the deep baritone voice.

        The shattering sound of glass ringed around the house after.

        I gasped. ‘Miles… it’s him..’

        I turned myself around and looked at him straight in the eyes, the same blue eyes I used to adore. His scowl turned to smile, and his wide blue eyes went saucer.

        “Miles… it's only me, Kathy,” I spoke. My eyes trained at him.

        “Kathy!!! Oh, God, how have you been?” he walked towards me, grabbed my small framed body, and hugged me tightly. I felt his warm and well-sculpted body touching me.

        He has changed, and he looked taller and leaner. I hugged him back tight, and I can feel his hardened chest beating fast. His muscular, slim-fit body made me look tiny in my five feet five inches frame. He broke the tight hug and kissed me on my forehead. I bent my neck up and looked back at him. I beamed.         His blue eyes still looked mesmerizing; his dark silky hair looks shiny. His light stubble jaw, his pointed nose, and his lips were just perfect.

        I was brought back to my senses after eye-r****g his handsome face. I felt like being a teenager again. I totally broke away from his hug.

        “How’s my little sister?” He said.

        ‘Sister’ really? Does he still treat me like a sister? After all these years, my feelings for him never changed; I still care for him.

        “Little sister? I’m not little anymore,” I huffed, rolling my eyes at him, trying to hide the disappointment. He laughed at me and patted my head,

        “Of course, you’re not anymore,” he smirked. I looked away from him and suddenly found the floor interesting, then my attention caught on to the broken frame on the floor “s**t,” I blurted out. I bent down, trying to pick up the shattered glass and picture. “I’m sorry, I dropped it, I’ll replace it soon,” panicking, but before I touched the broken glasses, Miles crouched down and grabbed my hand.

        “Stop! Please don’t touch it. You’re going to get yourself hurt. Those are sharp glasses,”, Let someone clean that,” Miles reproached me.

        I composed myself back and noticed that Miles was still holding my hand, looking at me. Blue to green, green to blue. I was thunderstruck. Reacting to a strange sensation burning inside my body. Mixed emotions were flooding. The electricity was running wild in my whole system. ‘Does he feel it too? What was he doing to me?’ My heart was beating wildly, and I silently prayed Miles wouldn’t notice how tense I was. No one was moving; we were just staring at each other.

        “Oh! Wow, I guess you found each other again after so many years!” Belinda screeched, breaking our little staring game. Miles collected himself and walked towards his Mom, and kissed her hair.

        “Hello there to you too, Mom. I missed you. Why you didn’t tell me we have a visitor here, You just called me to say that you’ve prepared my favorites?” Miles complained

        Belinda hugged Miles back, “Kathy surprised me. It’s unfair to spoil her surprise to you.”

        “Well, I guess you didn’t fail then,’’ Miles replied

        “Brunch is ready; you two should follow me to the breakfast area.”

        I nodded and followed Belinda to the breakfast table, leaving Miles behind.

        The breakfast went well; the three of us talked about what happened in my last eight years in Switzerland. I told them about my studies and my little adventures there.  Miles was quiet all the time. He nodded and smiled when his Mom was asking him a particular topic. It was a good conversation with Belinda, but with Miles, he seemed skeptical.  I can feel the awkwardness was still lingering between us. Eight years have had passed; however, you can feel the tension in the air. Belinda excused herself to the kitchen area to get our dessert, leaving Miles and me behind.

        “You seem to found happiness in Switzerland. Why did you come back here?’’Miles started the conversation

        “Ah, I just wanted to rest. After my university days, I decided to take a little breath and look back on what I left behind,’’ I said nonchalantly.

        “What do you mean? Is there any unfinished business you wanted to continue here?” Miles sounded doubtful about my answer. He looked uncomfortable, seeing me back here, and that exasperated me.

        “I understand that I am the last person you wanted to see here, and I did not come back just because of you, but I do want to apologize for what happened that night. I should have listened to you. I blamed you on to something you had no control of.” I taunted. It was true, and I came here to relax, not to rip off the band-aid and rub salt on it.

        “So, you know everything now?..,” he asked, mocking me.

        “Yes”

        “Well, okay then, I hope you’ve changed..”

        “Change to what?” I spat

        “I mean making stories and..”

        “Shut the f**k up, Miles!” I yelled at him. He’s now getting into my system. Anger was rising, but I was trying to curb it. I knew myself well enough if I let myself carry on.

        “What I told you that time was true, and I swear it’s real. It’s just you being blind and idiotic! You’re too blinded with your love for Nadia; I still regret not knowing the real score between Marcus and Nadia. He would still be alive if I only knew it then.” I yelled this time the fuse has set off. I won’t let him call me names again. Enough is enough.

        “That’s nonsense, Kathy. You are still acting like a brat young kid who likes gaining attention by making up stories of people you hate.” He countered

        I was so angry with what Miles said. I stood up and whacked his lovely face.

        “You have no right to insult me over those things. I swear to my brother’s grave that I was telling you the truth about Nadia. She’s shady and dubious than you thought I was, go and defend her for all I care. It’s your choice Miles, it has always been yours to believe me, but I know someday you will regret this. The only thing that isn’t right here is I still care for you because I love you!”

        ‘s**t,” did I just confess to him? Oh, God, I can’t take back what I’ve said.

        I decided to leave Miles before he could say something back to me. I will send an apology message to Belinda for not staying long. I knew she would understand me. All I knew was I had to run far away from him.