My Foolish Heart

     'Miles, I am sorry. This is the only thing I know to let you go. This pains me to do this, but I am letting you be with the one you love. Live your life with the person that you truly love, and I know it wasn’t me. I can’t stay in a relationship where there is no affection, and it won’t be fair for our unborn child. I will try to move on, so please don’t follow me, or else I will find ways to hide from you, even hiding from the people that I love too. Please set me free.         I am sorry for making your life complicated. I shouldn’t have come back, though I never regretted a single thing coming back here. All the great memories and heartaches you gave made me strong. It brought out the best in me. Please take care of yourself. Although I can’t take you with me, you’ve given a part of you that my heart will cherish forever. Don’t worry about us. I’ll be okay- we will be okay. Thank you, and I love you. Goodbye. Kathy.. xx' ~~~~ Kathy's POV         “Welcome back to New York, Ms. Roberts!” the woman in uniform at the counter booth greeted me, handing back my passport. I took it and smiled.         I sighed and held a deep breath. ‘Yes, I’m finally back!’ I uttered.         Finally, back to the place I left my heart with, where I spent most of my childhood memories. Good and bad experiences made me who I was—memoirs of the people I first loved and the first man who broke my heart. I was so young then, but I knew I finally got over with it. The only reason I came back was to rest and chill and maybe do a little work.         I’ve spent the last eight years of my life in Switzerland, where my dad moved his business, and my Mom continued her medical practice. I just recently graduated as a nurse, and I told my parents I’d be taking a break after the ordeal I went through while studying. Plus, It’d give me time to heal myself after breaking up with my boyfriend. What a douche guy! I hated his f*****g face. I will never forgive that jerk… I...        “Ms. Roberts? Is everything all right?” the man called out.         “Oh, yes, I am. I’m sorry it’s been a while. Yes, I’m okay,” I said, smiling at him. I must have zoned out and traveled in space.         “My name is Julius Jason. I was sent here to fetch you up and drive you to your place.” I looked at him. He was tall, about six feet, with dark hair and eyes, and his Hispanic features made him look appealing and attractive.         “May I have your things, Ms. Roberts, so that I could put them all in the car?” he politely asked.         “Sure! and thank you, and please call me Kathleen or Kathy for short,” I told him nicely.         We left the airport, and he asked me about the name of the hotel that I’d be staying in but told him to send me to my family’s house. All I wanted to see was my home.         It was almost an hour’s drive from the city when I realized I needed to buy necessary supplies like soaps and other toiletries. Although I knew that there were small shops near our place, and I could drive back around to get them, sleep was first in my plan. Traveling for almost 9 hours, and the time difference wore me out. So I asked Julius to stop by a shop near my place.         Cleaning materials would be next since my dad already hired someone to clean our house for my arrival as he rarely stayed at that place every time he visited his business here in New York, so nothing worried me.         I stepped out of the car and gasped. I looked up and read the sign “MK mall” ‘Wow!’         I never expected that Julius would bring me to the stylish mall, which eight years ago wasn’t here standing tall in front of me.         I wondered who owned this place; I entered the premises and found many people enjoying the grounds. There were places for food and restaurant, an amusement area for children, and even designer's brand boutiques. I made a mental note to revisit this place once I settled my stay here in New York. It didn’t take me a long time to find the grocery area.         I was enjoying my little grocery shopping when suddenly.         “Kathyyyyyy! OMG! Is that even you?”         I heard this woman was shouting in the middle of the supermarket store; I turned around and saw two full arms flying into me, and before I could react, I found myself plopped on the floor. Well, both of us laying on the floor.         “Oh my God, I miss you! I miss you so so much, Kathleen Marie Roberts! I thought you’re dead or are you even alive? Is this your new body?” she told me while hugging me tightly.         Who the f*****g hell was this woman?. How come she knew my full name? I tried to wiggle myself free from her and turned my small back around. My eyes widen when I saw the f*****g-hell woman was. It was none other than my childhood-best-friend-cousin Belle, whom I hadn’t seen for almost eight years since I left our town.          “Annabelle f*****g May Richardson’, Oh my God! It’s you! b***h! Let go of me!! Now!” I yelled, commanding her as I tried to free myself from her killing hug.         “I miss you, but please let’s stand up. People are looking at us now,” I whispered-yell. She stood up and grabbed my hand to help me get up from the floor. We stared at each other for like seconds and then burst out laughing. People were looking at us and thought we were some crazy bitches, which was true, anyway. After about 5 minutes of nonstop laughing, she hugged me again, and I hugged her back.         “You!, woman! will never, ever do that again!’” pointing my finger at her,         “and you will never, ever do what you did. You never told us you’re coming back. It’s been a while, and you, a woman from the alps and mountains, and a very ancient one who do not use any social media platforms. I missed you so much,” Belle bantered.         She was right!. I was never on social media. I used to own a f*******: account, but I deleted it. Instead, I tried to contain myself in my own world. Nothing interested me much, but reading books and writing if not studying.          “Then how did you know it was me?” I asked her crossing my arms over my chest.         “The only thing that made me know how you looked like now was looking at your Mom and dad’s f*******: profile. Gosh! I wouldn’t even notice you if It had not about that. You’ve grown so much. Not the little miss Tomboy I used to know!” Belle excitedly continued.          “Okay, okay, I meant to surprise you guys. I hadn’t even seen my house. I just landed about 2 hours ago!! I was on my way home when I remembered that I needed to buy some kits that I’ll need like toiletries and whatnot,” I replied, pointing to my basket full of woman kits.         “Oops.. sorry, I didn’t know. But I’m happy to see you, anyways I will not keep you longer, but you’ve got to promise me we will meet soon. I had to go to the city to pick up some stuff.” She explained, then took a piece of paper from her bag and wrote her number.         “Call me soon, my Kat. I’ll keep your silent return secret and let you rest but please message me…” she threatened.         “Sure! I’ll message you soon. I just need rest to clear up my mind first,” I told her, ‘‘..and a cold bath since it’s too hot here in New York,” I said, kidding her, it’s a bit warmer here compared to Switzerland.         She laughed and walked away, but before she left the door, she yelled at me.         “Kathy! You needed sleep. You looked like a panda,” her fingers circling her eyes. “and a bath,” scrunching while waving her hand in front of her nose.          I flipped on her and turned around.         “What a day, I guess,” I mumbled and went straight to the cashier counter to check out my stuff.         “Is this all, miss?” the lovely cashier lady asked me.         “yes, that’s all,” politely answered her.         “that’s 30.50, all in all.”         I opened my wallet and found nothing but Swiss francs. s**t!! I forgot to change some US dollars with me. Well, I thought of leaving my stuff for a while and run to borrow some dollars from Julius...         “Okay, miss, I’m sorry I only have Swiss francs with me, as I forgot to do a money exchange. Can I keep these for a while? I’ll just grab some cash outside?”         Before she could answer me, a man came up and handed 40 dollars to her. ‘         “It’s on me. Miss” a deep–manly voice spoke behind me.         “No, It’s a mistake. I’ll be paying for it,” I told the cashier, and she also seemed confused. I sighed deeply and faced whoever this man behind me. I was taken aback when I saw who it was and spoke to him softly.         “Mister, thank you, but I can pay for these” without batting an eyelash. Damn! He’s hot, but he wasn’t my type.         “It's okay, Miss. I can save you some trouble. I also live in this small town. Maybe you can pay me back when we bumped into each other again.” He said.         Frustration and tiredness got me, so I just agreed and even asked him to exchange his money with Swiss francs, but he declined. I bid him goodbye but not before thanking him again.         “Oh, well. I will surely love my stay here”. I mumbled ~          ‘I am here!’ finally, I was standing on the front porch of our house. I thanked Julius for his service, and  I took out the set of keys my dad gave before I left our house in Geneva. I put it in the keyhole, turned the knob, and opened the door. The memories and scent of our little old house lingered around me, “Home Sweet Home,” I smiled, entering the place.         Our house was just simple compared to our small mansion in Switzerland, with only four bedrooms, a master’s bedroom, my room, my brother’s room, and one lovely guest room downstairs. I brought my things inside and locked the door. It was all clean, like my dad told me. I went straight to the living room area to see some memorabilia that we left there. I hadn’t been to this place since we left. Only dad and Mom stayed here when they had any business deals that required them to stay longer.         I looked at all the photographs attached to the wall. I saw my old baby pictures and some old family pictures hanging on the wall. We were so happy and complete, My Mom, Dad, Me, and my older brother- Marcus. God! I miss him so much! I thought about what would be our family looked like if he was still here. I can’t ever forget the day. The day they told me, my older brother didn’t make it. It was all because of that cunning b***h. She stole us, my brother, and she took the man that I loved… Flashback             I was lying down on my bed. I just came back from our long flight from Italy, where we spent our annual family holiday. I was resting when my bedroom door flew open!             “Kathy! You’re back!”  a boy jumped on me and hugged my whole body from behind. I tried to push him back, but he was too heavy. He later moved away from me after showering my hair with kisses and sat next to me.             “Miles!!, I missed you!!!! I brought something for you!” I excitedly told him as I crawled and got up to take the small paper bag beside my bed. It was a branded blue polo shirt that matched with the same one I bought for Marcus except for the color. He will, for sure, like it.             “Oh, my sweet baby sister, Kathy! Thank you” as he checked the shirt, I bought a matching design but in the color pink. He hugged and kissed me on my forehead.             His name is Miles Aaron Carlson; He is my brother’s best friend since their nappy days.  I was ten years old, and he and my brother were around 13 years old. He is my brother from another mother. I loved him like my brother, but that’s what I thought, so... He treated me like his younger sister since he is an only child. Our parents were business partners in the city. I looked at him as my big brother, but not until I reached the teenage years when my hormones started messing me up.             I developed my teenage feelings for him when I reached 14 years old. It was quite late since I was a bit tomboyish at that time, but my style had changed when I started as a freshman in high school. My straight brown hair that I used to tie up high has been put down with curls. My green orbs had been decorated with eyeliners and mascaras. I learned how to apply makeup and stuff, but not too much. Just enough to make me look girly but not bitchy. My look may have changed, but I still love to play and do physically involved activities such as basketball and football.             It was my second week as a sophomore student. I was getting my things from my locker for the next class when I heard Miles yelling my name. He was in his senior year and will be graduating alongside my brother soon.               “Kathy!!! Hey!!!” Miles waved, trying to find his way to me              I turned around to check my face on to the little mirror that was attached to my locker’s door. ‘He’s here!’. I entirely miss him and my brother as well. They don’t stay much in our house to hang out like they used to. I looked flushed and pink...             ‘Miles is here! He’s coming for me!!!;’ Don’t be too obvious, Kathy; my little brain scolded me. I turned around and looked at Miles, who was already standing behind my locker’s door.             “Kathy! Hi!, its been a while... how have you been? I miss you! I rarely see you at home! Is everything okay?” Miles firing those questions made my stomach turned upside down.             ‘Did he miss me? Oh my god, does he have feelings for me too? Why was he asking me this?’             “Hey, Kathy! Are you okay? Earth to Kathy, Kathy to Earth”  Miles was shaking my shoulders. I didn’t realize zoning out after he has thrown all those concerning questions.             “Oh yeah, I’m… I’m Okay, Miles, I... I’ve been so busy these past few weeks since my basketball teammates and I are preparing for the next league. How a..a are.. you? I hardly see you too, and especially my brother, and it’s funny since he and I still live in the same house,” I answered him, stuttering. ‘Gosh!’             “I’m fine!” Miles shortly answered             I recognized he was not standing alone; he was with some girl. She wasn't just a girl but a beautiful girl. She had long black straight hair and bright brown eyes; her small chiseled nose and red plumped lips perfectly describe how beautiful she was.             ‘Ohh. By the way.. this is Nadia Jones. Hmm.. she’s a new student and just transferred here from California... She’s a Sophomore student like you. I saw you today and thought of introducing her to you. Nadia, this is Kathleen and Kathleen; this is Nadia. She is Marcus’ little sister….”             “Hey! I’m not little anymore,” I bantered.              “Of course, you are not! Anymore, Hahaha!” Miles jokingly laughed.             “She’s new here in town, so I’m hoping you two will get along well with each other….” Miles explained.         That’s what I also hoped too, but It didn’t happen… because behind that beautiful face, there was an evil lurking inside. Nadia took something away from us that can’t be taken back again.         I regained my thoughts when I felt my eyes wet with tears. I should stop this. I have to move on and accept what fate has given to me – and my family.         I went upstairs to my bedroom. I opened the door and gazed my eyes around. It still looked the same except the new bed was a little bit bigger than I used to own, the color of the walls changed from light pink to cream white, and the drapes that used to be printed turned into a plain pink one. I took a mental note to thank my dad later.         I took out the shampoos, soaps, and lotions from the paper bag and suddenly remembered the occurrence that happened not long ago. That man was hot and handsome. His short dark hair and bright blue eyes seemed familiar to me, and a good physique made me wonder how long had he been living here. I might know if I’d go around the town again and visit the people that I knew or maybe ran into him, but how about Miles.. how does he look like now, I wondered.         I walked into the shower and washed my whole body, and then I changed into my sleeping wear and took my notebook, noting myself to arrange my clothes from my luggage to my small walk-in closet the next day or whenever I wake up. I also needed to get some proper food since I had only bought some crackers and biscuits just in case I feel hungry later. I put my notebook on the nightstand. I closed my eyes, and I didn’t know when sleep took over me. But my last thought brought me into a deep slumber.             “Why, Miles... you’re responsible for my brother’s death …you killed him….”