Sulleimani, Sirius Jaxon (Book 2 of His Serenity)

Chapter 4

― can’t wait to be home

The following day is Friday. Nagkaharap kami sa agahan at tanghalian but I did not dare looking up at him or meeting his eyes. Mas mabuti na iyon. Nang sumapit ang hapon ay gumayak ako para sa pag-alis matapos ipaalala kay daddy na ngayon ang araw na iyon. Partly, I wanted to announce I have changed of mind and did not want to go to the party anymore. But dad insisted. 

Isa pa, I think I needed to go. Baka sa pag-alis ko saglit ay mapag-isipan ko kung ano itong nangyayari sa amin ni Jaxon. Why he chose to work here of all the places and lied to my father, and why I’m doing nothing instead of revealing that lie to my father. 

I locked myself in my room for the day and only stepped down when it’s almost time for me to go. I wore a navy blue velvet cami top with a chain strap and a belted leather skirt with an asymmetrical hem since I’m going to ride a boat. Nagdala na rin ako ng white coat para hindi gaanong mabasa o lamigin. 

“The boat is here,” anunsyo ni daddy matapos kong humalik sa kanyang pisngi bilang pagpapaalam. He nodded and looked me up and down as if having a picture of my attire. Bahagya kong itinaas ang nakatiklop na coat sa aking braso upang takpan ang lantad kong tiyan na para bang makikita niya iyon. I know he gets the picture of my dress after he laid his hand on my shoulder and gave me a go signal. He said nothing. 

“I’ll be back tonight.”

Mabilis siyang umiling bilang pagtangi. “You should enjoy it. Ayos lang ako rito. Isa pa, delikado kung babyahe ka ng gabi. You should stay in a hotel near the event… I’d like to warn you of the kind of circle you should surround yourself but I trust you, Princess. All I can say is enjoy and be safe.”

Ang bangka na naghihintay ay siya ring bangka na ginagamit ko at ganoon din ang driver nito. Masayang umahon and matandang lalaki upang tumapak sa lupa at salubungin ako. Tipid akong ngumiti at patungo na sa kanya nang mapuna ko ang bulto sa kaliwa. I did not have to glance to know who it is but it would be too obvious that his presence affected me if I ignore him. 

Nang lingunin ay nakalapit na siya sa akin. I meant to greet him kahit na simpleng ngiti ngunit natigilan ako sa kakaibang tingin ng kanyang mga mata habang marahang pinagmamasdan ang kabuuan ko. I want to look unaffected. Kaya naman dahan-dahan kong ibinaba ang coat para mas maayos niyang pakatitigan at upang magpanggap na wala lamang sa akin ang malagkit niyang titig. But I failed the very moment I flinched. 

“I have cycling underneath,” mabilis kong sinabi nang magtagal ang mga mata niya sa aking hita. He tilted his head to the side and brought back his eyes up at me with a raised eyebrow. Hinintay ko ang anumang sasabihin niya ngunit tila siya pa ang naghihintay sa akin na magsabi ng kung ano. 

I gritted my teeth and turned around to leave him. I don’t like the smug look in his eyes. Hindi na kailangang ngumisi upang ipakita na mayroon ngang nakatutuwa para sa kanya. 

Hindi pa man ako nakakalayo ay muling natigilan nang makita ang paggalaw niya sa gilid ng aking mata. He also turned around to go to his cabin. Just like that. I honestly expected him to ask me anyhing. O kung saan ako pupunta para naman maipaliwag ko nang maayos ang pagpunta ko sa kubo niya kahapon. 

I guess he’s not interested to know the answer. I guess he’s not interested to know where I’m going. He’s so cold na hindi ko man lang naibilin nang maayos na bantayan si daddy habang wala ako. Nang makaalis ang bangka ay muli ko siyang tinanaw ngunit diretso ang lakad niya patungo sa sulok na iyon ng isla. He did not even spare me a glance. Sa malayo at nang halos hinlalaki na lang ang sukat niya sa aking paningin ay nakita ko ang pagpasok niya sa kubo. 

Still nothing. And I don’t know what exactly I want to get from him. 

“Ang lakas, Israel! You’re desperate, man!” tukso ni Leah sa namumula ng si Israel dahil sa kahihiyan. Sinabayan ng hiyawan ng ilang kakakilala at kaibigan nila kaya nabuhay ang ingay sa paligid. 

We’re in an exclusive bar near our workplace. Si Leah daw ang nag suggest na rito na lang ganapin ni Israel ang kaarawan niya dahil masyadong malayo kung sa probinsya pa at maliit naman ang apartment niya para sa lahat ng dadalo. At dito, sigurado na lahat ay makadadalo. 

But she did not expect me to be here. Kaya naman ganoon na lang ang gulat niya nang dalhin ako ni Israel sa loob ng VIP room. I planned to call him once I got to the address he sent me. Hindi ko inaasahan na naghihintay siya sa akin sa labas ng gusali. Nakaramdam ako ng hiya lalo at hindi ko alam kung gaano siya katagal naghintay.

“I’m sorry, did I take long?”

He shook his head with a full smile on his lips. Hindi naman ako napanatag habang hindi naririnig ang sagot niya. 

“No, just in time. I’m glad you came.”

I did not get the answer I need to hear. It looks like he’s too excited to think of anything. Ayaw ko namang sirain ang kasiyahan niya kaya marahan na lang akong tumango at inabot ang dalang paperbag. 

“Happy birthday… I don’t know exactly what to get for you. I hope you like it.”

Nag-iwas siya ng tingin at nahihiya iyong tinanggap. “I’ll like anything from you. Hindi ka na nga dapat nag-abala…” he trailed off as he pulled he box out of the bag. Gusto ko sanang pigilan at sabihin na buksan na lang kasabay nang pagbubukas ng ibang regalo but he’s already at it. I don’t really want to burst the bubble. 

Ang pangamba ko na baka hindi niya magustuhan ay mabilis na naglaho nang makita ko ang pagkamangha sa kanyang mga mata at ang marahang pag-awang ng mga labi.

“How did you know I’m into avenger’s collection? I never said it to anyone because you know, they might think it’s too childish of me.”

“Hindi naman.” I smiled. “Remember the last time we went to Science Museum to see their cosmic exhibition? I saw how you stare at the toys in their store there… Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit hindi mo binili gayong kita naman na gustong-gusto mo. It’s not the same as what they have there but I hope you like it. Hindi na kase ako nagkaroon na makabili ng regalo. I ordered it online and I don’t know…”

“Hey!” pigil niya sa mahaba kong paliwanag. His hand rested on my shoulders. Mabilis din niyang binawi nang mapuna ang nagawa. “I’m sorry, I’m being too comfortable. But I liked it, really! It’s definitely a surprise.” Marahan siyang napakamot sa batok. “And I’m a little shy that you know.”

“Please, don’t!... I like Peter Pan even if I’m no longer a kid.”

“You like― but Peter Pan is not only for kids.”

“Really? So is the Avengers.”

We chuckled. Nilingon kami ng mga tao sa paligid kaya mabilis ding humupa ang tawanan dahil parehong nahiya. Hindi naman ako inosente sa nararamdaman niya sa akin. I know he likes me. It’s obvious and our colleagues would always tease him in every way possible. But I don’t want us to be uncomfortable and awkward around each other because of that. 

I mean, I can tell someone I like him and there should be nothing to change. Everyone can like everyone. What’s the difference? Dapat nga ay maging komportable pa sa isa’t isa kaysa magkailangan. Unless… 

The image of Sirius turning his back on me was suddenly on my mind. Tuluyang naglaho ang ngiti ko. Lalo na nang mapuna ang bulto ng imahe sa kabilang kalye at tila nagtatago sa dilim. I first thought it was nothing and just a shadow. Ngunit nang gumalaw upang magtago ay napakurap ako. Hindi ako sigurado kung ano iyon. 

Israel led me inside at sa VIP room nga ay naroon halos ang lahat. Everyone was shouting, drinking, and dancing. Ngunit lahat iyon ay natigilan sa pagpasok namin. And so the start of teasing. 

I think it’s the people around us who make normal situations awkward.  

Matapos ang ilang kamustahan at tanong ni Leah ay nagsimula silang magsaya. Drinks were offered on every table, and there're random games involving alcohol and flirtations. Pinanood ko ang lahat ng iyon nang may ngiti sa mga labi. Hindi lilipas ang minuto ng walang tawa. Leah joined the body shot. Nang matapos ay hinila niya ako upang bumalik sa aming sofa habang humahagikgik pa. 

“I need to get his number. Damn it, I need to get him,” ulit-ulit niyang sinabi, tinutukoy ang lalaki na naka-body shot. She’s a little drunk but happy. Ngumiti ako sa kasiyahan niya. Then her smile faded. “Everyone’s getting drunk. Are you sure you’re good around here?”

“Hindi naman lahat,” sabi ko dahil iyong may mga dalang sasakyan ay nililimitahan ang pag-inom. “I’m good here.”

“You know you can get drunk if you want to. Magpahatid na lang tayo kay Israel sa condo ko.”

Dinungaw ko ang strawberry juice na nasa harapan ko. She kept on apologizing earlier. Kung alam lang daw niya na darating ako ay hindi ganitong party ang hiniling niya kay Israel. But everyone’s having fun. I don’t know what’s the regret for. Ayos lang naman ako. 

“Ayos lang ako. You said there’s little alcohol here so I’ll be fine.” Inangat ko ang sariling baso at ngumiti sa kanya. Sa namumungay na mga mata ay inangat niya ang baso ng alak na hindi na namin alam kung kanino. We cheer and drink it. Bottoms up siya samantalang ako ay kalahati lang puno pa ang baso ko. Hindi kagaya nila na sa maliit na baso lang kaya madaling ubusin. I took a few sips of their drinks to get along but I really have to keep it in moderation. I meant to enjoy and personally greet Israel. Not to get drunk and wasted. 

It’s the end of the week kaya nag-eenjoy ang lahat dahil weekend na. While I, I need to go back tomorrow morning to the island.

But I get lost. Sandaling umikot ang paningin ko at sa pag-aakalang dala lang iyon ng likot ng tao at ilaw ay sinabayan ko ang pagtawa ni Leah nang inangat niya ang walang laman niyang baso. She then dreamily glanced at the man she was talking about and murmured her praises for him. Kumunot ang noo ko sa init na kumuryente sa aking katawan. Thinking it was nothing, I sipped on my glass again but my head started to spin. 

Leah was saying something in front of me. She’s enthusiastic. Ipinilig ko ang ulo upang labanan ang pagkahilo. Someone sat beside me. I smelt the familiar cologne of Israel. Nag-usap pa silang dalawa. Makulit si Leah habang nagtatanong tungkol sa lalaking nakahalikan niya. Ilang sandali pa ay tumayo sila para magtungo roon. Tinangay ako ni Leah. I was disoriented that I nearly fell if it wasn’t for Israel helping me keep my balance. Then there’s another loud serious of cheering. 

Napuna ko ang pamumula ni Israel at nahihiya niyang pagsuway sa mga kaibigan. Everyone was laughing and throwing their hands in the air. I smiled and joined the crowd, hoping my dizziness would go away. Mas lumakas ang hiyawan. Madalas naman akong nahihilo kapag nasa ganitong kasiyahan. And this feeling is familiar. 

I’m drunk. But it wasn’t supposed to be. 

I felt another arm took hold of me. There’s another wave of applause and cheering. Hindi ko namalayan na nakasandal na ako sa braso ng isang lalaki. I thought it’s still Israel ngunit nang makita ko siya sa aking harapan ay inahon ko ang sarili mula sa hindi kilalang lalaki. There’s a hesitant smile on Israel’s lips, and his usual shyness on me. Hindi ko maintindihan. 

Naputol ang titigan namin nang hawakan ng lalaki ang aking mukha palapit sa kanya. It was the mixture of strange cologne and alcohol and smoke that alerted me. It sent me to move. Mabilis kong nailayo ang mukha bago pa dumampi ang labi ng lalaki sa akin. My eyes widened at just what happened. 

Leah was on my side. She’s teasing Israel with her thumb down at him. I stepped away from the man and quickly grabbed her arm. Mahigpit ko iyong hinawakan kaya naman agad na nakuha ang atensyon niya. She blinked her hooded eyes but continued to smile. 

Mabagal akong umiling. “Stop… Stop it.”

Marahan niya akong tinitigan. Then her lips parted. She muttered a curse and immediately pushed the man off me and took me with her. “Oh my, God! You’re drunk?... But you weren’t...”

“I don’t know. Please, take me out of here… I need air.” She let me lean on her. Halos bumigay ang katawan ko at muntik pa kaming matumba. I closed my eyes and tried to fight the dizziness. 

Then the crowd went still. I opened my eyes to the pleasant lights and fancy surroundings. Wala na ang party lights. Wala na ang naghalo-halong amoy ng pabango, pawis at usok na nakadagdag sa pagkahilo ko. Wala na ang hiyawan. Everyone’s not around except for Leah and Israel. Sa harapan ko ay ang nag-aalalang mukha ni Israel. Ganoon din si Leah sa aking tabi. 

I leaned back on the table and put my head on my hands. My hair is wild around me. My clear chain bag with an inner white pouch is on the table. I grasped it and wrapped my hands around it. I felt the studded decor around it biting on my palms. 

“What happened?”

“We’re not sure, but please eat it so you’ll feel better.” Inalok ni Leah ang soup na katabi ng kape at malamig na tubig ng baso. It took a minute for the smell of the soup and dark coffee to get to my nostrils. Mas pinili ko ang malamig na tubig dahil sa nanunuyong lalamunan. 

“I’m really sorry, Serene. Sigurado ako na hindi nakalalasing ang ibinilin kong ialok sa iyo.”

“It was your second glass. It’s not totally non-alcoholic. Baka may tama na kapag nakarami,” dagdag ni Leah. Inagaw niya ang kamay ko at marahan iyong pinisil. She’s totally sober now. “Pasensya na talaga. Hindi man lang namin na nalasing ka na. We thought you’re having fun like the rest.” 

“I’m sure I’ll be fully well after this,” I reassured and slid the bowl on my table. Tahimik ko iyong pinangalahatian, determinado na tuluyang umayos ang saril. Ilang sandali pa ay napuna ko ang pananahimik ni Israel. Tumuwid siya sa pagkakaupo nang ibaba ko ang kutsara at marahan siyang titigan. “I’m sorry if I ruin your party. Hindi pa naman siguro huli. You can still go back.”

He firmly shook his head. “We want to make sure you’re fine. Besides, everyone’s almost going home… Sorry kung hindi ka namin nabantayan.”

“No, please. Hindi n’yo naman obligasyon na bantayan ako. I’m there to celebrate with you. It was me who failed to look after myself. Siguro nga ay nasobrahan lang ako. Plus the crowd is really wild.” I smiled. It took them seconds to smile back at me. Nasa mga mata pa rin ang pag-aalangan. Muli akong humingi ng paumanhin kay Israel. 

“Don’t mind him.” Marahan at mapagbiro akong siniko ni Leah. “He’s kind of jealous with his friend earlier who kissed you… I know you’re not looking for a relationship, but I was as shocked as the rest when you smiled at him as he tried to flirt with you. Inaasar lang nila si Israel dahil alam na parang may something sa inyo. And then you let the guy take you from Israel. You even leaned on him. Wala kaming kaalama-alam na disoriented ka dahil sa alcohol… We hope you’re not offended.”

I bit my lower lip as I intently listened to him. Sumimsim ako sa kape at dinama ang init ng baso. “Medyo hindi ko na nasabayan ang mga pangyayari. I honestly didn’t know I was getting drunk already. I thought it’s just the whole place. Pasensya na talaga.”

“Stop it,” si Leah. “Kami nga itong dapat nagso-sorry sa’yo dahil sa nangyari. Hindi namin namalayan na wala ka sa sarili at nakisabay pa sa trip ng marami... Israel will drive us to my condo. You should stay there.”

Muli kaming nagkatitigan ni Israel. Malalim siyang bumuntong hininga at nag-iwas ng tingin. Ganoon din ang ginawa ni Leah kaya kumunot ang noo ko. 

“He wants to know if you really like the guy.”

“Leah!” suway ni Israel kasabay nang pagpula ng tainga. 

Leah scoffed. “You’ll disturb her with that look. Just tell her. Hindi natin alam kung kailan ulit ito mauulit o kung mauulit pa after what happened. I really think something special was between you two when you walked into the room. Tell her.”

“No.”

Nagbalik-balik ang tingin ko sa kanila. “I don’t know the guy,” sagot ko para matigil ang pagtatalo. “I don’t know him, and I don’t remember his face now.”

“See?” Leah gestured her hand across our table as if to make a point. Marahan akong ngumiti sa kanila. I watched as Israel started to relax. His eyes softened.

“Pasensya ka na rin sa mga kaibigan ko. I should have set up a different party for my friends and colleagues.”

Leah has a smart remark, but I didn’t get most of it. A shadow lurking in the corner caught my attention. Sa likod ng malaking indoor plants ng restaurant na pinagdalhan sa akin nina Leah at kung hindi ako nagkakamali ay walking distance lang din mula sa bar. Blue cap and black hoods. Iyon ang suot ng matangkad na lalaki na agad tumalikod nang lingunin ko. 

My heart pounded against my chest. I felt the fear, but it wasn’t strongly resurfacing inside me. Sigurado ako na siya rin ang anino kanina sa labas ng bar. I did not get to see his face. But I already have an image in mind. I can’t wait to be home.