Before June

Before June: Ten✓

It’s my last day in the hospital, that’s what I wanted to call it. Though I’m pretty sure I’d be coming back. Elm was talking to Doctor Valencia at her office. I’m wearing a white dress with a flower design and flat shoes, bags already packed and on the bed.

Mia and Ava were here earlier. Even though I told them my decision they were still shocked, still couldn’t believe I would actually pursue my plan. They thought I was just joking, but they understood, and they are happy for me because they said I can do those plans that I have long failed.

Nothing will change if I stay here. This isn’t living... it’s waiting for death. And as much as the realization hurts, I wanted to be outside, to feel, to see, to live for the last time

“Are you going to be, okay?” asked Ava before they left for their flight to Boracay.

They just passed by to bid their goodbye, but Aunt Rosie was not here again because she was too busy at work, and I understand.

“I will be.” I smiled, then she hugged me tightly against the soft, fragrant fabric of her dress.

“Hey, Mia,” I told Mia who’s watching me, standing near my bed, arms crossed against her chest.

“I wouldn’t have worried, but I don’t know the man you can be with.”

I chuckled. “Don’t worry, he’s a nice guy though not obvious. He’s single, by the way.”

She pouted. I opened my arms wide to hug her. “I’ll see you soon.”

She fell silent before speaking again. “Are you going to be happy?”

I smiled at her. “I’m happy.”

Then they left, and I stood in front of the mirror, staring at myself for what seemed like the first time in a long time. I stared at my pale face with a bruised hand and smiled.

“You’ve done well, Lorei,” I whispered to myself. “Thank you for making it this far.”

With all the things that happened it feels like I recognized everyone’s feelings but my own, and to see myself in the mirror with all the flaws and imperfections and knowing how I’ve survived all these years makes me proud of myself. I did it. But there is a certain part of me that isn’t happy, they did not come to see me.

“Look who’s going on a trip.” Nurse Barb came into the room with her kits. “I’m proud of you.”

I smiled as my eyes watered in joy. My heart is warm because of what they’ve said to me. Somehow, it healed a small part of my heart. That I’m not really alone. I just imprisoned myself, but the truth is, I have someone with me. With this battle filled.

Not much but enough.

“I’ll miss you.”

“It’s just a few days.” I laughed.

She poked my side, smiling. “Now go make an adventure of a lifetime.”

After Nurse Barb left, I was still waiting patiently and hoping for Mom to come to my room. I also recheck my things just in case. Doctor Valencia and Elm’s been talking for thirty minutes now. Pretty sure Doctor Valencia reminded Elm the same things she reminded me of.

There’s a lot of precautions I need to follow for my safety, a lot of risks… that I’m willing to take. A few minutes passed but I didn’t see even the shadow of Mom so I didn’t even expect them to come to me.

I also decided to tell Phoe my decision just now, he will surely freak out but it’s okay, he can’t hurt me anyway.

Though it was too early to wake him, I needed to bid my goodbye or else he’ll be mad at me lol.

I asked nurse Jade a favor to wake him up for me and she agreed.

“He’s already awake, but don’t forget the protocol,” she warned. “Six feet at all times.”

“Six feet at all times,” I synchronize with her.

She just laughed and left because she still has a lot of patients to see and she’s still on duty, I just really interrupted her.

I am now wearing my gloves and masks for safety purposes. Our flight will be later at seven-thirty in the morning, so I just wear my gloves and masks, as I always wear whenever I’m going out into my room for our safety.

“Why?” he asked while still squeezing his closed eyes. He closed his room door to step back.

“Try to take another step toward me and I’ll throw my shoes to your damn face,” I warned.

There he opened in no time and stopped squeezing his eyes and stepped back a little. He’s also wearing his mask and Nasal Cannula on his nose.

“Let’s go to the cafeteria, my treat.” I motioned for him to follow me and turn away. “Let’s eat some food, I have something important to tell you.”

He didn’t speak and just followed me, probably his mind was still somewhere, exploring. So, I just let him and walked towards the cafeteria to get some food.

We ate quietly. I even noticed Phoe’s sneaky glance at me while eating, patiently waiting for what I would say. We don’t actually buy food in the hospital cafeteria because we both don’t want the food there. I asked Mia and Ava last night to buy food for me and I just paid them here at the hospital and they agreed. I buy strawberries and some fruits and healthy snacks which are what we’re eating right now.

“So... are you just going to keep quiet there?” He cracked the silence and raised an eyebrow at me. “After you ruined my beauty sleep, are you just going to keep quiet there?”

He knows I’ve loved to travel ever since we were a child. I always told him all my plans and decisions I will make, or made. I also told him before about this plan, to take a risk, to live, to travel and he freaked out before. I wonder what his reaction will be after I tell him about my plan. Is he going to freak out? Surprised or something? He’s like a brother to me.

I sighed and swallowed the strawberry I was eating. I intentionally take so long to say what I am going to say, to annoy him.

“How many times have you sighed?” He frowned. “I will really pull your hair if you don’t have anything important to tell me!”

I rolled my eyes. “Try,” I challenged. “Your threats are empty.”

“Try? Do you really want me to try?”

He stood in his seat six feet away from me. He was just about to take one step towards me. I raised my fist at him as a threat. “Try it and I’ll hit you big time.”

He chuckled and went back to his seat but eventually glared at me. “Not my face.”

I nodded. “I won’t… make your face uglier.”

“For your information, I’m more beautiful than you. What are you going to say, by the way?!” He groaned in impatience. “Say it! Don’t—“

Even before he finished what he was going to say, I preceded him. “I’ll travel.”

His jaws dropped, his eyes popping out before he gasped for air. “W-what? Say it again, did I hear it right?”

I nodded. “You heard it right, want me to say it again? I’ll travel. I can finally do it, Phoe. Can you believe that? I can finally do it!” A tear dripped down my cheeks which I immediately wiped away so he wouldn’t notice.

A tear of joy. I just still can’t believe that I am going to do it, I will travel. I have been thinking about it and compiling it for a long time. I’m so happy.

“I will support you because your happiness is more important than my opinion, of course.” He averted his gaze. “Just make sure you will be fine.”

I twisted my mouth in amusement. It’s as if he’s not Phoe the way he spoke.

When he looked at me, he raised an eyebrow at me and crossed his arms. “What?” he asked. “Who will accompany you? When are you leaving?”

I glanced at the time on my watch on my wrist. It’s seven ten already and I already need to leave because we are still going to the airport. “Right now,” I answered. “Our flight is at seven-thirty and someone will accompany me. Don’t worry, he’s nice.”

“What?” he shouted. He pursed his lips and glared at me. “You should have wake me up earlier so we can bond more before you go.”

“You said, you don’t want someone waking you up early in the morning,” I said.

He narrowed his eyes on me. “Not in this situation!”

“Not my fault,” I defended.

“Whatever. Now go, you will be late in your flight,” he muttered. “Just imagine that I’m hugging you right now!”

“Okay, take care, I love you!”

“I hate you!”

I went back to my room to wait for Dra. Valencia and Elm who have been talking for a while now. “Anna?” Dra. Valencia was finally at the doorway. “Everything’s ready.”

I picked up my stuff on the bed and went to her. I stood upright in front of her and smiled a little in gratitude. She has been a good doctor to me ever since. For me, she is like a second mother to me. She took care of me but in a professional way.

“Thank you.”

She stroked my hair and caressed my cheeks. “Live freely, our sunshine.”

I bit my lips and blink back tears.

Elm’s waiting for me in the hallway. As usual, he was wearing his stupid smirk on his lips. He’s wearing this sand-colored long sleeve and black jeans with a pair of white casual shoes.

“Hey,” he greeted.

I smiled and laid my hand in front of him. “Let’s go.”

He shook my hand and took It himself. “Chancing.”

I smacked his shoulder and frowned. He’s really ruining the moment. He just chuckled loudly which caused people passing by us to stare at us. I covered my face and my hands and looked away. I hit his shoulder again to stop him from laughing.

“Why are you covering your face?” He grinned. “Are you shy huh!”

I scoffed. “Stop teasing me!”

He raised both hands in the air as if to say that he had surrendered while shaking his head. But his stupid smile was still there that makes me frowned even more. He's so annoying!

“Let’s just go!” I said, annoyed, and walked out of the hospital first. This is it! He chuckled and just followed me.

He even teased me in the hallway until we got out of the hospital. The fresh and cold breeze of the morning immediately greeted me, I closed my eyes and let the wind blow away my loose hair and the hem of my dress. I smiled.

Elm put our suitcases in the back of the taxi we had booked to take us to the airport.

“Let’s go,” he said and I opened the taxi’s door in the back seat.

I excitedly entered the taxi before he closed it for me and turned around to sit in the front seat. I giggled, our first destination is Boracay because I like beaches and I’ve been dying to go there.

The taxi’s engine started and the driver started driving to the airport. I was like a child looking outside, admiring the city, the buildings were tall and I also saw people crossing the road. There is not as much traffic as I expected. I really meant to book a flight this early so it wasn’t hot and not traffic, and at the same time, I wanted to see the sunrise in the sky when I’m on the airplane already. The hot burning circle has not yet risen on the horizon so the sky is still shady but the surroundings are still beautiful.

This is a dream come true.