Before June

Before June: Seven✓

I woke up around three o’clock in the afternoon. I almost forgot that Elm and I will meet again on the rooftop at sunset as I said. I just realized how shallow I am, I didn’t even bother to listen to his explanation that day, immature Anna.

While meditating earlier, I tried to put myself in his situation, realizing how horrible I was for judging him easily. I really need to control my own emotions because I might hurt the people around me in the future.

I just wear wide-leg pants, a white fitted crop top, and Haiyan blue net red board shoes. I don’t know what’s on Mom’s mind why she packed designer clothes like this. I’m going to the hospital, not to a shoot or vacation.

I massaged my temples while looking at my reflection in the mirror. Sometimes, I just really want to disappear every time people look at me in the hallway because of what I’m wearing, they might even think I’m crazy because I’m wearing casual clothes in the hospital. Like ugh, I’m not the one who packed my clothes when I got admitted here, it’s my mom! Not me!

I ride the elevator to go to the sixth floor where the rooftop is. The hospital is wide, it’s like around 4,200+ bed capacity and has six floors. And trust me, this hospital is beautiful. I have witnessed the growth of this hospital because when I was only six months old, I was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis, so I know. I already know almost all the doctors and nurses here except for the new ones, of course, but it seems like I already know them, too, and they are all kind and responsible. I’m not a social type or friendly person and the doctors and nurses I’m referring to are not all close, they just know me as a long-time patient here.

When I got to the rooftop, I slowly opened the door and peeked to see if anyone was there or not. When I saw nothing, I took a deep breath and went to where I always sat. I went up there and stood up so I could feel the cold breeze more. The sunlight was hitting my skin, but I ignored it and just smiled, balancing the body.

I felt like a child playing even though it was dangerous, but I didn’t think of that. I raised both hands in the air and let the wind blow my loose hair.

I want to go back to being a kid, if at all possible. I want to go back to being a kid and enjoy every time of it. I remember when I was a child, I wanted to grow up quickly because I wanted to have my own money and a job to help my parents. But now it seems like I just want to be a child again. The one who thinks nothing but how I will let Mom play me outside and go home crying because my friends left me.

If I only knew that this is how my life would be today, I’ll surely treasure every moment of being a kid. A lot of kids don’t have a happy childhood, while me? When I was a kid, I’m busy thinking about the future, planning everything, and thinking about my dreams, no longer enjoying being a kid.

“I can read what you’re thinking.”

“Ah! What the heck!—“ I closed my eyes tightly as I lose my balance, waiting for my body to fall to the ground from the sixth floor. I will definitely get a serious injury or worst, I will die. thinking of that didn’t even scare me even in the slightest.

When I felt that it was not the ground that I fell on but a masculine arm, I opened my one eye to see who had saved me. Seeing Elm’s dark eyes and emotionless face, I couldn’t help but stare at him for a long time. His jaws are sharp which makes his face look perfect, his eyebrows are thick, and his nose is sharp, his lips were kissable and as red as blood. Why does he look so perfect? I’m starting to get envious of him.

“Are you going to stare at me ‘til midnight, woman?”

I blinked a few times when I realized that our faces were so close, the tip of our nose was only a few inches away.

I quickly straightened up and averted my eyes from him. I could feel the heat on my cheek because of embarrassment, not because of anything! He will tease me about it again. Though it was not my fault why our setup was like that, it’s an accident!

“Why are you staring at me?” he asked with a slight teasing in his voice, here we go again. “You like me, don’t you?”

I bravely looked at him, meeting his pitch-black eyes with a streak of teasing. He plastered a smile on his face, obviously enjoying making fun of me. Though I could still feel my cheeks burning because of embarrassment, can I just disappear?

“How high is your self-esteem?” I looked at him from foot to face and folded my arm in front of my chest and rolled my eyes. “Feelingero.”

“You just don’t want to admit it. I know I’m handsome, Anna.” He grinned. “I also know you like me, you’re just too shy to admit it.”

I raised my one eyebrow at him. “You really think so highly of yourself, don’t you? Did you know?” I stopped and looked directly into his eyes. “Now I want to throw you in the water... full of deadly sea creatures.”

He smirked. “But you can’t.”

“You aren’t sure about that.”

He bit his lip, probably to stop himself from smiling. “You already love me, huh?”

He disappeared like a bubble in my sight, so I just rolled my eyes in the air. He’s playing with me again. I just realized that he was next to me while smiling like a dog and his head was leaning on my shoulder.

I glared at him and slightly pushed his head away. In a blink of an eye, we were already sitting on the cement edge of the building while he was still leaning on my shoulder. His eyes were closed as she seemed to be sleeping, even if he is just sleeping, why does he still look so handsome?

No matter what angle you look at him from, he still looks so gorgeous, and take note that he’s not even posing or even dressed up, I wonder what he looks like if he poses and dresses up like the models on social media and magazines that I see? He’ll surely look more perfect.

For sure when he enters the world of modeling, he will immediately become famous because of his perfect look, I’m also sure that many women will chase after him. For sure even those beautiful and hot actresses will chase after him too.

I sighed and gently patted his cheeks to wake him up. From the small black circle below his eyes, he looked like he hadn’t slept properly for several days. We barely see each other, and he barely visited me from my room, he’s not also an open book so I don’t know what’s going on or what he’s been doing these past few weeks or months.

And that slap made me awake from the fantasy world. He never tells anything to me but about his mission, he was saying but I also don’t know what mission it is and just about the disciple of darkness who attacked me or us before. Moreover, he said nothing more, not even the slightest bit of information about him. All I knew was that he was a guardian sent here on earth for a mission and I only knew his name or nickname, I don’t know.

“Wake up.” I woke him up while patting his cheeks.

He moaned and buried his face even more against my neck. I froze when I felt the slight hit of his hot breath on my neck. Oh my—what the heck is he doing? I let out a deep sigh and just let him lean against my shoulder. He looks tired so I won’t be a naughty girl just for tonight, I’m not that horrible person.

“You seemed like you haven’t slept for several days. What did you do to look like a walking zombie because of the dark circle under your eyes?” I asked while playing with my feet.

It was already dark, and the stars were shining like a diamond through the midst of the dark sky. The sky was clear, and the moon was round and bright like the sun, giving us a light in the dark night.

“Work,” he replied.

“At night?” I asked, curious. “What work?”

He remained silent so I had no choice but to sigh. I have no right to force someone to say the answer that I wanted to hear, they have the right to stay quiet as long as they want and for their safety too.

“I’m sorry for what I did the last-last night,” I apologized, feeling so guilty with the hurtful words I left him.

“No, I’m sorry. It’s my fault, sorry.”

I shrugged. “It isn’t your fault, it’s so clear that it’s my fault. You didn’t do anything but because I’m an immature asf, I burst out because of some stupid reason.”

“That’s bullshit,” he cursed. “I know I offended you and you offended me, so, I’m sorry, too. It’s all me, I started it. I’m the one who’s the reason why you burst, it’s because you’ve been hurt. Don’t think yourself as a stupid asf.”

I glanced at him. His eyes were still close while leaning on my shoulder, it was as if I was drawn to what he said, he didn’t know but my heart was angry because of what he said. I opened my mouth but no words are coming out. I squeezed my eyes using my palm to wipe the tears from seeping.

“You know what, you’re right,” I forced a smile upon thinking of all my plans and its consequences. “I should risk, even just for once. Tell me, is my time running out?” I glance at him. I wanna know so I can decide. I’ll risk but first, I’ll fix everything. I don’t want to leave that I haven’t fixed everything yet. I can feel it on my bone, I won’t be around much longer.”

He pursed his lips. “No one knows, Anna.”

I looked at the stars in the sky and watched them as they shone. “You’re right, no one knows. He is the only one who knows.” With my index finger, I pointed to the sky, referring to God. “We don’t know if our time is running out, maybe later or tomorrow or even now he can take me. But like you, I still have a mission here on earth that needs to be completed before he can take me and make me rest from all the pain that I’ve been through.”

“Look at the stars, they’re shining so bright but over time one or two or a thousand of them will lose the sparkle because their mission is over and it’s their time to rest. They are done with their mission to be a light in the dark sky.”

He just listened to me and free lent his ears to hear all my dramas in life. All my life I was so scared to voice out all the pain, drama’s that I wanted to say. I was so scared they might judge me for being so dramatic.

“Just say what you want to say, I’m just here to listen.”