I Love My Husband But....

Chapter 30

  * As I sit watching a movie with my family, I think of him. (We let Luci choose and since Alex was holding her, he couldn't just ditch us. I wonder what he's doing now. Is he cooking or at some night club? He probably has some girl over doing who knows what to her. (Why did he get so upset?)

I want to call him so bad to ask why he just left without explaining why. (Some friend he wants me to spill my guts and he doesn't even finish our conversation) I bite my lip and squeeze my phone because the urge to contact him is so strong. 

I decide to read or at least pretend that I'm reading. It's not like anyone is paying attention. Xane is on his phone as well as my husband and I'm in my own head, my mind going from what I should have said to what he might be doing. (At least I'll get to see him tomorrow)

"I'm going to bed" I say as I stand causing them both to look at me as if I've grown an extra head. "I need to get up early to get some extra things for our trip" I say as I walk towards our room. I'm surprised when Luci doesn't run after me until I see that she's asleep. 

I suggest that the guys watch a movie together as I grab her from Alex, then I leave. Even though, Willis doesn't think that they can go back to being best friends like before I at least want to keep trying. 

Surprisingly I go straight to sleep. (I don't toss and turn) (I don't read until my eyes get heavy) I just fall asleep, almost as soon as my head hits the pillow.

I woke up early the next morning and threw on a dress. I didn't pay attention to the time I just had to see Willis. I tell Xane that I'm leaving, then I head over to Willis' house after I stop by Super Mart. Strangely Alex was asleep on the couch when I was leaving but I figured he had a long night, since there were a couple of beers bottles lying around.

He usually drinks when he gets off work with his coworkers and boss so I guess he didn't get enough to drink. Maybe he's as stressed as me since we have to visit his sister. It's most definitely not that, because she is his favorite sister. (Yeah I know, just my luck)   

"Come on in," he says with a beautiful cheerful smile as he opens the door wider. He looks happier than he did when he left me yesturday. "So what did you want to talk about?" "Have a seat" he says as he motions towards the living room.

I walk over to his couch and I sit, then I twirl my thumbs. I don't know why, but I feel like I just walked into the principals office after being caught running the halls instead of doing my lessons. He grabs my hands and kisses them, then he pulls me into his lap rather roughly before he kisses me. Of course I don't stop him, because he knows how to handle my body better than I do.  

He lifts me by my hips and butt and then carries me to his room not breaking our kiss. We quickly remove all of our clothes and he attacks me again.  

 "You're leaving already,?" he asks as I cover myself with a throw blanket and slide off his bed. "I always leave afterwards" "I'll see you at the park tomorrow maybe after I get everything packed and set up for my trip" "Why don't you stay a while longer?" "What would we even do, it's not like we have anything to talk about?" (That's a lie we always have stuff to talk about) I just still don't feel comfortable here. 

"We could watch a movie or have another go" Although I can always go for another round, especially since now I can handle him better, it's not a good idea. "Maybe next time," "Okay deal," he says happily making me feel guilty for what I'm going to do. I think we need a little break since he seems to be falling for me and I'm also feeling some type of way.

 It sadly means that no matter how bad I'm affected by my sister in law, I won't be able to come to him for comfort. (I know, I'm selfish) Actually I'm not completely selfish, I'm thinking about my husband, Luci, and Xane. (I can't ruin their lives, just so that we can be happy)

"Yes for sure next time" "I just hate that you only call me when you want to have s*x, and then you're gone," "You don't even give me enough time to hug you," he says with sad eyes. "I told you I didn't want anything more" "I already have a husband he just sucks at s*x and I only agreed because I felt that a playboy wouldn't want a married women with children" 

"I know you're probably going to hate me for this, but I have to let you know how I feel" He pauses and looks into my eyes. "I really like you Jess" "I-" I hold up my hand to stop him from continuing.

 "We have so much fun together and you're amazing, but I love my husband" "We need to stop this Willis" "We can still be friends though and meet at the park" he opens his mouth again but I hold my hand up again.

"This lasted longer than I thought it would," "It actually lasted longer than it should have" I say as I give him a genuine smile. We had been sleeping together for almost five months and all I ever wanted was a good jump start and he definitely did that. Our therapy sessions can continue at the park if he wants, because we never talk at his house anyways. I just leave right after we have s*x so he really doesn't get his therapy session. 

"Can we do it once more?" He asks as he grabs my waist. "We shouldn-" He shuts me up with a kiss and I respond by wrapping my arms around his neck. He reaches under my dress to rip my panties then he lifts me and before I know it I'm trying to breath through my moans.

I feel like he toys with my body, knowing which buttons to push, enjoying my every moan, whimper and squeals. I'm not going to stop him from this game that he is winning. (It's not like I could, even if I wanted to)  

(How did I get myself into this?) I read somewhere that it's hard for a woman to just have s*x with someone because she eventually starts to get feelings. I think that's what's happening to me. I have to stop seeing him and erase his number, even though he doesn't really call me, and I only call him if me and the kids are going to change up our schedule.

How the heck did I find the only bad guy that was ready to give up his title and go good. Now that I think about it, he isn't actually a bad boy. He's more of a nerd and I've always found nerds attractive.

(I can't believe I'm catching feelings for him) He wasn't supposed to go down on me, or kiss me. (How will I end this, can I?)