The Cure to My Scar

Red Flag

I've been thinking about Prof. Cruz's suggestion. I know that keeping this to myself will never be the right choice. I have to face this up and help myself to recover from the physical, emotional, and mental wounds that I suffer from living together at an early age. If only I've listened to my mom back then, if only Ethan didn't give up on himself, if only I was strong enough to be his source of strength, maybe things may work for us.

But there's no point to waste my energy to keep on thinking about these what if's. If I won't help myself, then no one else can help me. The will to be cured begins in me. Prof. Cruz is just a bridge for me to reach the end of this pain. And to make it possible, I have to take the first step towards that bridge.

"Mom..." She looked at me while she was putting the fruits and foods in the fridge.

"Hmm?"

"I need to talk to Prof. Cruz." My mom's face brightens as she hears me saying that. It's as if she has been waiting for me to say those words.

"Oh, sure Chloe. I'll call for him." But I stopped her by holding onto her wrist and she was in awe. I looked at her and she suddenly begins to worry.

"Why? Is there anything you need before I leave?" She asked dearly.

"M-mom, do you think I could do this?" And I exhaled a deep breath as I feel so nervous. I've never opened up to anyone about this matter. And I'm not sure if I'm ready to tell and talk about this. I'm scared to re-live those painful nights that I've endured on my own.

"Chloe, mom will always be here for you. And you don't have to push yourself too hard. Take your time until you feel like you're ready to open up."

Hearing those words consoled me. I smiled at her and she hugged me tightly. I can't help but shed tears as fear and eagerness to overcome this wound are fueling up my mind and heart.

"Can I just come to Prof. Cruz's office, instead?" I queried and mom immediately took a wheelchair and bring me into his office.

"Please come in." I heard his voice from the other side of the door. I clenched my fist at the hem of the clothes.

Mom tapped my shoulder gently.

"I'll wait outside. Let me know once you're done." She said.

"Aren't you coming in with me?" I asked. She just shook her head slowly and I can see her eyes are welling up. Maybe she is more scared to hear about my misery and may end up interrupting the session.

I just looked at her dearly and let her go.

"Hi, Chloe. Or should I call you Chase?" Prof. Cruz greeted.

"Any of it, whichever makes you comfortable with," I responded. My hands are sweating a lot. I'm so scared for some reason. Maybe because mom is not around, or maybe because I am about to tell the story I've been burying deep down in my heart.

Prof. Cruz kept looking onto my hand as I can stay still. I kept crumpling the hem of my clothes as I feel anxious. He looked at the young doctor who's standing next to him. He offered some tissue to wipe my hand. I slightly bowed to thank him and he smiled at me.

"So are you ready to open up? Don't worry, you can stop if you feel like you can't continue anymore. Just let me know." Prof. Cruz stated reassuringly.

I looked at him and then look at the young Doctor next to him. They can see through my eyes how nervous I am but their eyes were telling me that it's okay. That there's nothing to worry and my story will be safe.

"W-where should I... I start with?" I suddenly stutter.

"Hmm. Maybe we can start with who's Chloe Chase before she left their home."

Then I start asking myself as well.

Who am I before I met Ethan? How was I living my life before we decided to live under the same roof? How was I as Chloe Chase?

Then it reminded me of when I was in High School. I was infamous for having Beauty and Brains. I always join pageants whenever I have the chance and have always been our school's pride for Quiz Bees and other academic competitions. I've been joining them as much as I can to make my mom happy and proud.

And when I was invited to be our School Model, I met Ethan for the first time. He was my partner and everyone was in awe of our chemistry. He has everything every girl would like to a guy. He is tall, handsome, has a good physique, and always wears his greatest asset, his killer smile. The smile that can melt every girls' heart. And I admit it, I am not an exemption. I am also captivated by his everything.

After that modeling gig for the school, we became closer and even go out after school. Eventually, we fell for each other and became officially in a relationship. And that relationship grows stronger for years.

In our seventh year of being in a relationship, he asked me to live with him since we are both working in the main city. He convinced me so we won't have to struggle traveling for five to six hours back and forth each day.

My parents never agreed with this idea but I insisted. After I left our house, they never called and so I did. I stand with my decision that I wanna live with Ethan and never calling them is my way of saying that I've been living the best of my life and choosing to live with Ethan is not something I would regret for.

At first, I was kinda struggling while juggling work and household chores but I adjusted after a year. It was challenging but I made it. Everything works perfectly until that one night...

"Chloe... are you okay?" Prof. Cruz asked while looking at me intently.

"H-ha?"

"We can stop here if you feel tired or somewhat uncomfortable." He said.

I crumpled the tissue I've been holding and clenched my hand into a fist as I try to gather the courage to reminisce about that nightmare. I closed my eyes and I can feel my lids were shaking. I took a deep breath and clenched my fist tightly, trying my best to overcome this on my own.

"That night..."

I am always tired of doing the chores and doing my job at the same time. But Ethan never failed to do his fair share in life. He provides better financial support for our house and savings for our dream wedding. It was the perfect life I've been dreaming of. But one night, he suddenly changed into someone I never expected him to be.

He came so drunk and wasted, something he never did in our two years of living together. I took him to our room despite the struggle with our height difference. I took a towel and a bowl of water to bathe him up before sleeping.

He suddenly woke up and look at me intently. His eyes were teary but he didn't say anything so I just continue with what I am doing.

Since it was a first, I just let it pass. But that first time leads to the second and that day turns to weeks. I don't know what's going on since I couldn't talk to him properly. He is still asleep when I leave home in the morning for work and he always goes home so drunk.

Until that night...

...that night, he went home so wasted and I was attending to him when he suddenly wants to kiss me. Since I'm not done cleaning him up, I refused to do so. I'm too tired for work and doing household chores at the same time, not to mention the additional tasks of taking care of his drunkard mess.

I refused firmly so he throws away the bowl of water and creates a mess in our room. He was so furious that I declined to give him what he wants. I was so furious as I was looking at the water flowing down on the floor.

"ETHAN!" I shouted and glared at him.

"I'm too tired for work, the house and even taking care of you. Will you at least stop this drunkard act?! You are even exceeding the card limit just to buy liquors instead of giving them for our savings and bills. What the heck is going on with you?!" I exasperated.

I've been giving him enough time to deal with what he has been going through and waiting for him to open up about what's going on but he always goes home dead-drunk so we never had the chance to do so.

"So are you trying to say that I'm useless?! Ha?!?" He shouted while gripping onto my wrist and his eyes were so red while glaring back at me.

I never saw him this mad and violent in our entire relationship. And I never thought he could have this side in him.

"Ethan, you're squeezing my wrist." I was trying to escape from the grip but he tightens it even more as he became more furious.

"Tell me! Are you saying that I'm useless, isn't it?!" He yelled.

"Ethan...Ethan let me go. You are hurting me." I pleaded but his eyes are telling me that he is too furious to let me go.

Tears slowly flow down my cheeks as I feel the pain physically and emotionally. What's going on with Ethan? What going on with us??

I thought he will feel bad as he saw me crying but he push me away as soon as he let go of my hand. I lost my balance and bump into the edge of our wooden table. It hits right into my upper thigh and it was too painful for me to stand up. Ethan looked at me and was shocked by what he has done. I thought he will feel a little bit guilty but he just walked away and leave me that way.

I crawled towards the bowl and wipes the mess on the floor. I can't help but kept crying while wiping the floor. I feel so bad for myself that no one could help me in this mess. I pity myself that I have to wipe the mess he made despite the pain he has caused me... physically and emotionally.

And that day, the Red Flag in our relationship begins.