The Cure to My Scar

Darkest Days

OCTOBER 2019...

It's been three days since I was hospitalized due to collapsing out of nowhere. I was just buying some groceries with my mom by that time when this guy in his late twenties tapped my shoulder to call out for my attention. He looked at me and gave me the purse that I dropped.

I'm not sure if it is just my delusion or he just looks exactly like Ethan. They have a huge resemblance when it comes to features, height, and physique. And if it is the old me who saw him, I would probably get excited and will immediately call him saying that I saw someone who looks like him. And just thinking about it would probably bring butterflies in my stomach. But that day was different.

As soon as I saw him and thought about the huge resemblance of him to Ethan, I strangely felt so terrified. I don't know why but my body shudders as soon as our eyes meet. He was speaking to me but all I can hear was an inaudible sound. He took one step closer to me while asking if I'm okay but I involuntarily took two steps backward, so scared of the hand that he was extending as he was trying to check if I'm okay or not.

My mom stepped in as she saw my reaction. She was shaking me while holding onto my shoulders to snap me back to reality but I just couldn't hold myself back. My body shivers so my mom starts panicking. She was so worried to see me losing my senses and tears just start streaming down to my cheeks. I don't know why but I feel so terrified by just remembering Ethan's face.

Mom tries her best to snap me back and even tap my cheeks gently, dead worried about what's wrong with me. She kept asking if there's something wrong or do I feel pain somewhere but all I could give as an answer is the tears in my eyes. The guy next to me feels bad to see me this way though he didn't do anything bad against me.

"Chloe Chase! What the heck is going on with you?! Will you at least tell me what's wrong and stop crying?" My mom pleaded in despair, worried sick about my silent tears.

After a few more minutes, I was able to gather myself back and hold onto the pushcart tightly to support myself so I could stand still and stop myself from trembling. I took a deep breath and stop myself from crying. The guy next to me, looked at me weirdly as he saw me having this kind of episode. He politely gave back my purse and apologizes sincerely for my actions.

"Are you okay now?" My mom asked with worried eyes.

"Hmm." And I just as a response.

"Let's just go home and maybe do the groceries some other time." My mom insisted.

"N-no! I'm fine. Let's do it now since we are already here. I'm good, I swear." I asserted.

But before we could pass through that row, my vision begins to get blurry and my head feels like spinning. I massage my temples as I closed my eyes, trying to fight this over but it's hard. I took another step while pushing the cart but my eyes feels so heavy and it involuntarily shuts down. The next thing I knew, I was lying on the floor. I can still hear some voices of people who were in panic. My mom's voice, calling out for help, slowly fades away.

The next time I opened my eyes, I was already in this unfamiliar room lying on this unfamiliar bed while wearing these unfamiliar clothes. I slowly reach for my head as I feel like there's something that keeps hammering and causes pain. I tried my best to stand up but my body doesn't listen to me. Good thing, the nurse came in to check on me and my vitals.

"Good to see that you're awake, I'll call the doctor for you." She commented.

"H-how long was I've been sleeping?" I asked.

"It's almost three days. Let me just call for your Doctor." And she left immediately.

I looked around me but I can see no one. And then there's this tube which was pinned in my left hand. I am also surrounded by some medical equipment. Looking around in this unfamiliar place makes my heart tightens and holds me from breathing properly. I wish I have my mom with me.

After a few seconds, the Doctor has arrived together with my mom. She run towards me and held me tightly. She looked so haggard knowing that three days has just passed.

"M-mom? Where have you been? Why did you leave me?" I asked like a child, being left behind by her mom. She begins crying while looking at me, acting this way.

"Hi, Chase. I'm Prof. Cruz, you're attending Doctor and Doctor Brent will be here to help me as well." He explained.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why do you have to bear all of this stuff on your own?" My mom queries while whimpering though I don't have any idea what she's about.

"W-what do you mean? I-I don't get it." I asked worriedly.

She didn't say anything as she couldn't stop herself from crying so hard.

"We...have seen all the bruise in your body. And it seems that it was not just some fresh bruises. There are some which you might have got a few weeks ago." Prof. Cruz explained.

I couldn't answer his questions and all I did was clenched my fist into balls, afraid of what it might cause to my parents, especially to my mom. I don't wanna see her hurt this way. That's the last thing I wanna do, made her cry as she see me being hurt.

I tried my best to hide it until it gets better and didn't think this day will come. Now, I don't know what to do nor what to say. I just looked away from the Doctor and tilted my head, facing on the other side just to avoid this uncomfortable situation.

"It's alright. I know... it's hard for you to open up just like that and the least this we wanna do is to force you to speak up like it's not a big deal. Just call out for me or Doctor Brent if you are ready and we will be more than willing to help you get through this." Prof. Cruz explained but I didn't budge at all. Maybe because I was too scared and not yet ready to talk about this.

"We will just let you know once the result for the additional tests is ready. For now, you should just take a rest and do not strain yourself too much."

I've been keeping this to myself and not even talk about it to my friends or my family so telling this out to strangers will be harder. And I'm not even sure when will I be ready to do so.

The Doctors walked out of the room and gave me and my mom to talk this over. And it made me feel more nervous now that it is just the two of us.

"How long this has been happening?" She asked with conviction.

"So this is the real reason why came back home in the middle of the nights after cutting ties with us for almost three years?!" She added and her tone begins raising. I can feel the worry and anger in her tone.

Even after what I've gone through as Ethan and I lived together, I still don't wanna ruin his image in my parents' eyes. Because after everything that has happened, I'm still hoping that we can fix this. I'm still holding this tiny dot of hope at the back of my mind. I still hope that he will change for the better and make this relationship works. But now that everything has been unintentionally revealed, things will be more difficult for the two of us.

My mom was exasperated as I remain silent and all I could respond was tears in my eyes. I cannot speak up or even open up my mouth because I still love Ethan. I just couldn't bear his drunkard acts that's why I left him behind but I still love him.

She looked at me intently as I keep crying and remained silent. And continuously disappointing her this way made me cry even more.

"I-I'm so sorry, m-mom."