FACING THE FROZEN OCEAN BOOK 1 (ONGOING)

CHAPTER 5

"Pinagtagpo ngunit hindi itinadhana."

Madalas 'kong naririnig kay Colleen. Pero kung iisipin, napakarami nating mga taong natatagpuan na nakatakda ring umalis. Ang ilan ay babalik, ang ilan naman ay maglalaho na lang.

At alam ko kung saan ako riyan nabibilang. Napabuntong-hininga ako habang nakatingin sa malawak na karagatan nasa balcony ako kung saan ako tumatambay kapag gusto 'kong mapag-isa.

"Siya ang may-ari nitong barko, so, he must be aware na dito ako nagtra-trabaho?" wala sa sariling tanong ko sa kawalan. "But why he didn't fire me?"

"Because you're qualified for the job, and I am the one who hired you." I automatically looked in the direction in which someone answered my question.

"Sir James?" I exclaimed.

"Ang dami mong iniisip, Miss gwapa." nakapamulsa siyang naglakad papalapit sa'kin, nginitian ko lamang siya saka tumingin ulit sa karagatan. I have no intention of telling him about Jeremy; only Colleen and Bryan should know about our past. "Alam ko ang nakaraan niyo ni Jem." biglang sambit niya.

I was stunned by where I stood; it wasn't really surprising because they were friends but I just didn't expect James to open up about it.

So, naikwento pala ni Jeremy sa kaniya ang nakaraan namin? Hindi ko alam kung ano ang magiging reaksyon ko o magiging sagot sa sinabi niya.

"Don't worry, I won't judge you." he said, when he went close to me, "Everyone has their reasons for making decisions that are not in their best interests. Because there isn't any other option," he added, as he leaned his arm on the railings.

What's the matter with James? I found myself wondering. He's taken a serious tone now. I haven't seen him like this in the eight years we've known each other. But I'm grateful since he didn't judge me in any way.

"Thank you." I gave him a small smile before turning back to face the ocean, where we were met by a strong breeze. The two of us were struck by silence; he never spoke again, and neither did I.

"We'll be disembarking in 14 days." He said, breaking the silence between the two of us.

I caught a glimpse of him, "Oo nga." I replied.

If James hadn't said that the ship would arrive in Manila in 14 days, I wouldn't remember that. Imagine in three months of sailing, finally makakatapak na muli ng lupa.

"Let's have dinner when this ship docks in Manila, Suzette." he invited me.

Nagulat ako sa itinawag ni James sa'kin, ito kasi ang unang beses na tinawag niya ako sa pangalan ko. Laging Miss Zarah tapos Miss gwapa ang tawag niya sa'kin.

"S-sure. Why not." I smiled.

I can't help but be excited; I'm already planning what I'll do and eat when the ship docks in Manila; I'm looking forward to having a great time and relaxing. I deserve a break. James gave me a beautiful smile.

"I'll expect that," James smiled at me, sweetly, "Kahit isama natin sila, Colleen, at Bryan."

Tumango ako "Sige, sasabihin ko sa kanila." nakangiting sambit ko.

I temporarily lost my thoughts and felt better as James and I chatted about it. One of our strongest desires in life, according to what I read in a book, is to feel understood. And I was incredibly lucky to have a friend like James.

"So what's your plan?" James asked after a couple of seconds.

"Too many to mention." I answered when I couldn't understand his question.

He chuckled. What's wrong with my answer? "I'm certain that you and Jem aren't okay. How are you going to get along with him? I know that's awkward. Nasa iisa lang kayong lugar." natigilan ako sa sinabi niya, so, ito pala ang ibig sabihin niya sa tanong niya, akala ko naman about sa mga gagawin ko sa Manila kapag dumaong na ang barko.

"Well," I sighed, heavily "Let's be professional here, set aside personal matters from work," I paused for a second and then continued "It's been a long time, though, maybe he'd already moved on. He already has a girlfriend." there was a strain of bitterness in my voice

James burst out laughing, tinignan ko siya. "Mukang-"

"-Of course not!" putol ko sa sasabihin niya, gets ko na agad kasi kung ano ang ibig sabihin niya. Nagseselos.

Tss! Bakit ako magseselos? Choice niya 'yun, nakaya niya ngang hindi magpakita sa'kin, nakaya nga niyang umalis ng walang pasabi... tss! Pag-mo-move-on pa kaya.

"Defensive ka, miss gwapa." He teases me.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, James," I said in an irritable voice.

He laughed again at my reaction, this is the male version of Colleen. Kung kanina namamangha ako dahil tao siyang kausap. Ngayon naman ay naasar na ako.

Babatukan ko sana si James dahil sa tawa niyang mapang-asar nang may tumikhim sa likuran namin. Sabay kaming napalingon ni James sa gawi kung saan may tumikhim.

Napaawang labi ko nang mapagtanto kung sino 'yon, sinulyapan ko isa-isa ang kasama ni Jeremy. 'Yung girlfriend ni Jeremy na nakahawak sa braso niya habang nakangiting nakatingin sa'min, si Miss director at mga journalists at ito ay nakatingin sa'min ni James na para bang nagtatanong kung bakit babatukan ko si James. Nagtama ang aming mga mata ni Jeremy pero agad iyon naputol nang magsalita si Miss director.

"S-so this is the balcony area dito sa higher deck ng barko." Ani Miss director, tumango-tango naman ang mga kasamahan nila, syempre maliban kay Jeremy.

"Paging Miss Zarah," Colleen's voice from the PA system drowned out my intention to stare at Jeremy. "Mr. skylight at lido area." 

Pagkasabi niyon ni Colleen hindi na ako nag-dalawang-isip na kumaripas nang takbo patungo sa lido area. Hindi ko na pinansin si Jeremy na nakatingin sa'kin kanina pa.

Colleen was gasping as she approached me, and her expression was filled with concern. I quickly looked for Ruby and the guest, I could see how Ruby asked for help, I immediately approached them.

"So you are the Senior Manager here?" mataray na tanong ng guest sa'kin.

It was clear from her tone that she was irritated, and she appeared to have been drinking because her face was red and the smell of alcohol was already strong when she exhaled.

I nodded. "Yes, I am. And I would like to apologize for the wrong drink my co-worker gave to you." I sincerely apologize.

Sinabi kasi kanina ni Colleen sa'kin kung ano ang rason bakit napagalitan si Ruby ng guest na ito. Mali daw ang nabigay na alak.

"Patang-tanga kasi 'yang tao mo." she said angrily. "That's how you train them?" she sarcastically added.

It is true that in this job, you will encounter different types of passenger behavior. And as a cabin steward, you can't avoid such a passenger. So all you have to do is to apologize and be patient. It's in training as well. Akma na magsasalita ako nang magsalita si Ruby.

"Of course not!" aniya.

Mangiyak-ngiyak si Ruby na tumingin sa'kin na tila bang humihingi siya ng tawad dahil nasagot niya ng wala sa oras ang guest. Napansin 'kong nanginginig siya takot nang galit na bumaling ng atensyon sa kaniya ang guest, kaya naman hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at palihim na nginitian na para bang sinasabi 'kong okay lang 'yun.

"You can go. I can handle this." utos ko sa kaniya.

As a senior manager, I have to 'settle this problem for my co-worker. Ruby nodded and was about to leave when the guest suddenly grabbed her necktie. Nagugulat akong nag-angat ng tingin sa guest, rinig ko na din ang pagbubulong-bulangan ng ibang guests na nakakasaksi sa pangyayari dito sa lido area.

"Who told you, you can go?!" napakabastos na tinig niya.

"Miss Senior." Ruby's tears were already dripping as she called me. She was terrified.

Kaya ang ginawa ko hinawakan ko ang kamay ng guest at pwersahan itinanggal ang kamay nito sa necktie ni Ruby.

"Let me go!" she yelled as I held her hand tightly

Napapansin kong nagtitinginan na ang mga pasahero sa'min, nakakahiya pero hindi ko na iyon pinansin dahil hindi na tama ang ginagawa niya. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang problema niya para maging bastos siya ng ganito.

"Umalis kana." sabi ko kay Ruby.

Agad naman sumunod si Ruby, at maya-maya pa binitawan ko na ang kamay ng guest at hinarap ko siya. Nauubusan na ako ng pasensya pero kailangan ko itong intindihin, nasa training ito kaya hindi ako dapat magalit.

"I'm sorry Ma'am. What you did was wrong" I calmly said.

"So, now it's my fault?" She clenched her fists and furrowed her brows as she glared fiercely at me. "Edi sana kung hindi kayo tanga-tanga! Hindi sana magkakaganito!"

"Miss Senior ito na ang order niyang alak." Napatingin ako kay Colleen nang bumulong siya sa'kin, hawak niya ang order na alak ng guests.

Tumango at bumaling muli sa guests."On behalf of my co-worker, we will sincerely apologize, Ma'am, I'll just change your drink." Pagkasabi ko niyon kinuha ko sa tray na hawak ni Colleen ang alak na inorder niya at iniabot sa guests, tinanggap niya naman iyon kaya medyo nakahinga ako ng maluwag, "Sorry po ulit." yumukod ako nang bahagya bilang paggalang at paghinga ulit ng paumanhin.

Akma na mag-aangat na muli ako ng tingin sa guest nang may maramdaman akong malamig na likido na ibinubuhos sa ulo ko. At alam 'kong alak 'yon. Napapikit ako nang tumutulo na iyon sa mukha ko.

"Miss Senior!" sigaw ni Colleen at mas lalong lumakas ang bulungan ng ibang guests sa nangyari.

"You deserve that! Bobo mo kasing Manager." nakangising saad ng guest sa'kin.

Sa pagkakataon na iyon, nag-angat na ako ng tingin sa guest. "Bobo man ako, hindi naman ako kasing lansa ng ugali mo." mahinang sambit ko habang tumutulo sa aking mukha ang alak na ibinuhos ng pangit na ito. Halatang nagulat ang babaeng guest sa sinabi ko.

"How dare you to say that to me, b***h!" hindi na ako nakasagot dahil naramdaman ko na ang malakas na pagsampal ng babae sa aking pisngi. I can taste my blood habang sapo-sapo ang aking pisngi. "Where's the owner of this ship!" sigaw niya, walang may nagsasalita siguro ay nagulat rin sa ginawa nito sa'kin. "Nasaan ang may-ari nitong barko na ito! Answer!" sigaw niya sa'kin

But I didn't say anything, I've been working here for six years. I have never experienced this. Nakakasalamuha man ako ng ganitong pasahero pero hindi ito umaabot sa pisikalan. Ilang sandali pa, naramdaman ko na may naglagay ng towel sa aking likuran si Colleen 'yon.

"So kampihan na ito?!" sabi ng babaeng guest. "Asan ang may-ari ng barko na ito at ipapasesanti ko ka-" Naputol ang sasabihin nito dahil nangibabaw ang boses ni James.

"I am the owner of this ship." he said seriously, this is the first time I've seen James' jaw clenched. The female guest frowned at James.

"Are you kidding me?" she said sarcastically, "I heard you're just an acting owner, therefore. I don't need you." she added "I need the real own--"

"You may now leave the ship," it was Jeremy's cold voice, everyone turned in the direction where Jeremy was, he was walking towards us. I noticed he was looking at me but he immediately turned to the female guest. "I'm the owner of this ship." I noticed that the woman's mood changed when she saw Jeremy."And I have the right to get you out of here."

At maya-maya pa nagsidatingan ang mga security pero hindi iyon ang security ng cruise ship. Naka-black suit silang lahat at may earpiece na nakalagay sa kaliwang bahagi ng tenga nila.

Nagpumiglas ang babae nang hinawakan ang magkabilang braso nito. "Let me go!" sigaw niya sa mga security na humihila sa kaniya palabas ng lido area. "How dare you!" dagdag pa niya. "Pagbabayaran niyo ito!" pagkasabi niya niyon ay hinatak na ito pababa ng mga security.

Pinagkatitigan ko si Jeremy, nagtama ang aming mga mata. Malamig siya tumingin sa'kin, walang bahid ng emosyon. Nakakatakot, kitang-kita ko ang pagtiim ng bagang niya dahilan para mapayuko ako. Hindi ko kayang tignan si Jeremy, ibang iba na talaga siya kaysa dati. Sobrang ibang-iba.

"Are you okay, Miss gwapa?" nag alalang tanong ni James sa'kin.

Tumango ako "I'm fin-." mahinang sabi ko pero naputol 'yon nang magsalita si Jeremy.

'yon lang at tinalikuran niya na kami.

Ilang sandali pa ay nagsalita si Colleen. "Sir James, dalhin ko lang si Miss Senior sa kwarto namin." pagpapaalam niya.

Tumango si James kaya naman inalalayan ako ni Colleen papunta ng aming stateroom, nadatnan namin sila Jane at Christine, nag-aayos na para sa susunod na shift.

"Anong nangyari sayo, Miss Senior?" nagugulat na tanong ni Jane sa'kin.

Wala akong balak magsalita at ang sama talaga ng loob ko sa ginawa nung guest na 'yon. Nakakahiya kay Jeremy! Nakakainis!

Pinagkatitigan ko lang si Jane hanggang sa nagsalita si Colleen at laking papasasalamat ko doon, Minsan laking bagay din ang pagiging madaldal niya, ikwenento niya lahat ang nangyari. At guess what, walang labis at walang kulang. Detalyadong-detalyado.

"Yung babaeng guest ba, 'yung maputi at mataray?" tanong naman ni Christine.

"Oo 'yon," tanong ni Colleen dito.

Pinapakinggan ko lang ang pag-uusap nila, hindi pa talaga ako maka-get over sa nangyari.

"Noong nag-shore excursion kayo. Nagwala iyon sa lido area. Balita eh, broken daw." sagot ni Christine habang inaayos ang collar ng uniporme.

"Ahh, ganun ba." tumango-tango si Colleen, "Kaya pala may pinaghuhugutan ang galit kanina."

"Ganun talaga siguro kapag nasaktan ka. Nag-iiba ka... some become rude, and some become silent." sabat naman ni Jane.

I looked up at Jane, I knew what she said wasn't for me but it was as if I was struck by what she said. Jane looked at me in astonishment when she realized that I was staring at her.

"Bakit miss senior may nasaktan ka na ba?" she asked.

My lips parted in half, I was caught off guard by her question. Kung hindi lang ako nahihiya sasagutin ko sana siya na oo meron, nasaktan ko siya at ngayon kitang-kita ko na nagbago na siya. Tumikhim-tikhim si Colleen na para bang nang aasar. Ang sarap talaga nitong pingutin.

Umiling na lang ako kay Jane. "Wala naman," pagsisinungaling ko, "Pasok na kayo baka ma-late kayo." pag-iiba ko sa topic namin, buti na lang talaga at hindi na muli nagsalita si Jane at ilang sandali pa ay nagpaalam na sila upang pumasok.

When Colleen and I were left in the room. I immediately stood up and walked straight into the bathroom. I soaked in the bathroom for a long time, too much has happened to me today from Jeremy and the lido area, I had to relax. I shouldn't have bothered with Jeremy's presence in the first place. I need to perform a good job.

"Wala na 'yun Suzette," tinapik ko ang sariling braso, "Matagal na iyon. Nakamove-on na iyon. Mag-move-on ka na din." pangkukumbensi ko sa sarili.

"I must be crazy now," I exclaimed while smiling bitterly.

I don't know how many hours I was in the bathroom when I decided to go out, I noticed 'there was a lot of food on the table. Kaya sa halip na magbihis agad naglakad ako papalapit doon at tinignan ko isa-isa ang pagkain na nakalapag doon. May beef with broccoli, fried chicken, buttered shrimp at kanin. Napansin ko sa may gilid ng mesa ay may butter toast at chuckie.

Napangiti ako bigla nang maalala noong college kami ni Jeremy 'yan kasi parati ang kinakain namin sa t'wing nagkikita kaming dalawa after school or after duty ko sa bar.

Naalala ko noong unang pinakain ko siya ng mga ito, halos ayaw niyang nguyain dahil daw cheap, bakit hindi na lang daw kami mag-starbucks. HAHAHA

My eyes suddenly widened when I realized I was smiling at what I was thinking, bakit si Jeremy ang naiisip ko? I shook my head to get Jeremy out of my mind.

Bumaling na lang ako kay Colleen na busy sa pagkutingting sa mata niyang may contact lens. "Ang sweet naman ng friend ko. " nakangiting sambit ko kahit ramdam ko ang medyong manhid 'kong pisngi dahil sa pagkakasampal sa'kin ng babae na iyon.

"Hindi ako ang umorder niyan, kusa lang 'yan dumating dito." deklara niya.

"Wee?" hindi makapaniwalang giit ko "Eh, sino ang umorder?"

"Malay ko, baka si sir James pinahatid lang ata kay Bryan." kibit-balikat na sabi niya habang naglalagay na ng pagkain sa plato. "Wag ka na magtanong 'kung sino, kumain na lang tayo," aniya, "Lumalamig na ang pagkain madami ka pa rin tanong, miss senior." saka isinubo ang isang kutsarang kanin na may ulam sa'kin.

Pagkasubo niyon ni Colleen sa'kin, kinuha ko ang butter toast at chuckie. Ito nalang ang kakainin ko. Pinagmamasdan ko pa nga 'yon.

Akala ko siya ang nagpadala ngunit bakit sa loob-loob ko umaasa ako na siya. Siguro nga malabo pa sa tubig kanal na siya. I sighed, deeply.

"We're complete strangers now," I said, reflecting my own thoughts.

Itutuloy...

DISEMBARK: to get off a ship.

MR. SKYLIGHT: paged over the PA system is an alert for the crew on board and means there is a minor emergency somewhere.