Dear Diary, I'm Completely Lost

A Little Devil Called Perrie

Dear Diary,

I may be diabolical. But I love it. Okay, not in a sadistic kind of way, I’m not a bad person. At least I don’t think I am. But I managed to come up with an idea how to give my ex-bestie a taste of her own medicine.

Leslie was actually the one who told me that I’m diabolical … But she was all here for it. By the way, even my brother is cheering me on. And I won’t even mention Hunter, he’s thrilled and bummed at the same time, because he can’t be here to see me “kick ass”, as he put it.

I don’t start working on my essay immediately. I’m overstimulated from dinner, so I decide to get a dose of fake dopamine from f*******:. I scroll mindlessly, hoping to find some satisfaction in endless videos and pictures, but nothing really catches my eye.

Boring, boring, boring … Ah, wait! What was that? Oh, right. The Hillsboro Fall Festival is happening next week. And a reminder that they’re still gathering applications for choosing the next Miss Fallen Leaves … A hint of déjà vu passes through me.

Last year I had to watch my whole family make gooey eyes at Cassie as she won her crown. It meant the world to her and I’m sure she applied this year as well. Hunter told me I could beat all those girls on stage without even batting my eyelashes. Huh. Wait a second.

I don’t know why I do it, but I find myself clicking on the link that leads to the website for Miss Fallen Leaves. You apply by filling out your personal info and adding a picture. I hesitate for a moment, then start typing.

The closer I am to finishing, the bigger smile appears on my face. Oh, you have no idea what you’re in for this year, Cassie. You have absolutely no idea. I’m not usually someone who would take revenge on people. I let karma finish them off. But this b***h is literally asking for it.

So, I do it. I apply and I do it with the biggest enthusiasm that I can come up with for entering a beauty pageant. Ugh. I can’t believe I’m letting myself be objectified like that. But at this point, I’d really do anything to wipe that smile off Cassie’s face.

I get an acceptation mail the next morning, unable to keep a straight face. Which is how my best friend, naturally, asks me all about it. When I tell her what I did, she’s shocked. I mean, she knows me really well. She knows I’d never lower myself to this level.

She basically slaps her hand against my forehead, making me protest with a loud ‘ouch’. Then, she asks who am I and what I’ve done to my best friend. Yeah, I can’t help but laugh hysterically.

I can’t believe that I’m doing this myself, and here she is, making this situation even more unbelievable. “You’re really doing this? Why?” she wants to know. Before I’m able to answer her, the bell rings, and her face falls. She grabs me and sits me back down, just as I’m about to move towards the classroom.

I send her a look, unable to believe that she’s not letting me go to class. “Er, Les, we have Algebra, just so you know,” I try to tell her, but she refuses to get her hands off me.

“Uh-uh. You’re speaking now, or else I’ll lose it,” she informs me. She then narrows her eyes at me. “Talk. Now. Quickly,” she demands.

I let out a long breath, leaning closer, so no one else hears us. Ally is lurking nearby and I really don’t want the word to get to Cassie just yet. I want to see the look on her face when she sees me backstage at the festival.

“Fine. I want to take revenge on Cassie, because she keeps trying to steal everything that I care about from me. So, I’m returning the favor. Can we go to class now?” I murmur hastily, glancing up just as the last few of our classmates are disappearing from the hallway.

She gets up the same time as I do, a wicked smile appearing on her face. “Oh, by all means, go ahead,” she tells me then chuckles quietly, shaking her head at me. “You’re diabolical. But I love it,” she lets me know, opening the door for me since it got closed in front of our noses. “Here you go, your majesty,” she adds, making me roll my eyes in response.

She doesn’t leave me alone for the entire class. She keeps passing me notes and I already mean to turn around to tell her to stop, so we don’t get caught, but just then, a distraction arrives.

Someone knocks on the door so gently, that it’s barely audible. If we weren’t all quietly scribbling formulas from the blackboard in that moment, we wouldn’t even hear it. Mrs. Dawning invites the newcomer to come in.

When the door swings open, we’re all curiously staring at it. Secretly, we’re all hoping that the class gets interrupted for so long that the bell rings before the person leaves. On the other side, we’re hoping this isn’t the principal, coming to collect someone, who did something wrong.

Jeez, I hope it’s not me. I don’t know why I’m even worrying about that, I didn’t do anything wrong. But it’s always like this, I just get spooked easily. Funny facts about Perrie. Hey, maybe I should enter the competition with those. Ha. Nope. It’s a joke.

But the person that enters the classroom is a guy that I’ve never seen around before. I mean, he looks like he could be our peer, but I’m not sure. He’s a little too tall for that … I guess. Not as tall as Hunter, though.

He looks around apologetically, addressing the professor with a gentle, but deep voice. “Hi, er … I was told to come here. I’m a new transfer student. I’m really sorry I’m late, but I didn’t find my way around school,” he explains.

His skin resembles Leslie’s, only it’s slightly lighter and doesn’t have such a warm undertone to it. His hair is pitch black, cut short, but the haircut still doesn’t hide the curly structure of it.

Mrs. Dawning’s face lightens up in realization. “Oh, of course. I was wondering where you were. You’re Mr. Barnes, right?” she responds, already turning towards her desk to find him on the checklist in her computer system.

He shifts uncomfortably, fixing the position of the strap of his backpack on his shoulder. “Y-Yeah,” he stutters, clearly uncomfortable because of all the attention. “Jackson Barnes,” he then adds, making the teacher nod.

She smiles at him politely as she lifts her gaze off the screen. “Alright, you may take a seat. Try to follow along, okay? If you don’t understand something, you’re free to ask, just like the rest of the students. If it’s too difficult to grasp, we can discuss help after class, okay?” she tells him.

He nods, looking like he doesn’t dare to defy her anyway. He returns a small smile, then turns towards the class. He freezes as he finally realizes how full it is. The only free desk is on my right, exactly opposite mine. He heads there, quickly glancing at me before sitting down.

I turn my head back to the blackboard and continue copying down the formulas. Okay, new classmate. Cool. I’m sure he’ll get used to Hilhi High sooner or later. We’re all very warm and welcoming after all. If you exclude Cassie. No, actually, scratch that, she’s the most welcoming.

He’s lucky that he’s not a girl, she’d definitely try to recruit him for her posse. You know, just like in Mean Girls. Except that Regina George is child’s play compared to her. There are quite a few similarities there, though. It’s strange she hasn’t dressed up as her for Halloween yet.

Suddenly, I hear a ‘psst’ coming from my right. I ignore it at first, thinking it’s not for me, but as it happens again, I can’t help but turn my head towards the new guy. “Yes?” I whisper, and he smiles apologetically.

“Hi, sorry. Do you happen to have an extra pencil? I seem to have left my entire pencil case at home,” he whispers back. I nod and look for the pencil. Then, I also grab my extra pen and rubber, handing it all to him. “Oh, I don’t need-”

“Maybe not now, but you’ll need it for the rest of the day,” I assure him, offering him a small smile before turning back to my notebook.

“Thank you. What’s your name?” he whispers again, almost making me tell him to shut up because the whole classroom can hear him. Still, I decide to be nice and turn towards him.

“You’re welcome. I’m Perrie,” I inform him, then turn back to my desk again, trying to show him that I’m not in the mood to chit-chat. This is algebra for f**k’s sake, it’s not like I can pass it without putting any work into it.

“Thanks again, Perrie. I’ll return this at the end of our classes,” he lets me know. I nod without looking at him. I really don’t need those extra things anyway, but whatever. He can return them if he wants to.

By lunch, the whole school is already talking about a new senior. The freshman girls are all swooning over, I quote, ‘how incredibly handsome he is’. Yeah. I guess he’s not bad- looking, not that I care. I have the most gorgeous boyfriend in the world. I wouldn’t give a damn about Jacob Elordi winking at me.

Not that it could happen, but you get the point. Not interested in anyone else but Hunter. It’s funny how the picture is completely different now that I’m actually dating someone that I like and not just someone, who told me I looked pretty. Yeah, I’m referring to Eric. He was really a mistake. I shouldn’t have let things go as far as they have.

Anyway, it’s all in the past now. Hunter and I are happy together. And I can’t wait to see the look on his face, when I tell him that I entered the Miss Fallen Leaves competition. He’ll be thrilled, I’m sure of it. It’s a shame he won’t be there to see it, though. Well, you can’t have everything, Perrie.