Dear Diary, I'm Completely Lost

Perrie Is Just A Synonym For Awkward

“Hi,” I squeal nervously, with the guy glancing between the two of us. Suddenly, his face lights up with a knowing smile and he wiggles his eyebrows at Hunter, while I feel the need to bury myself right here and now.

“Hi. You must be Perrie. I’m Stavros,” he greets me, shaking my hand like I wasn’t just trying to shove it down Hunter’s crotch a few moments ago. My boyfriend lets out a short laugh, which he clearly can’t contain anymore.

“Nice to meet you, Stavros,” I chirp, feeling heat rising to my face. Oh, this is the worst! This is my karma for making fun out of Hunter earlier. It only serves me right. He smiles in a friendly way, clearly unbothered by what he just witnessed.

“I was just headed to the kitchen. I’m really hungry. I’ll probably cook myself a soup, some meat and a dessert,” he tells Hunter in a meaningful way, his brown eyes almost popping out as he tries to emphasize whatever code he’s talking in. He then winks at him and leaves, waving at me beforehand. “Do mind the curtains, please!”

I turn towards my boyfriend in a questioning way, while he pulls me inside, barely able to prevent himself from laughing. As he closes the door, I bury my head inside my hands, unable to believe that this just happened.

“Oh my God,” I groan, hearing him chuckle somewhere close to me. He grabs my wrists to reveal my face and I flinch as he touches the painful spot on my right wrist. He follows my gaze, letting out a soft sigh.

“Don’t tell me you hurt yourself while were trying to grope me in public,” he remarks, making my jaw drop. He did not just say those words.

“Hey!” I protest, making him chuckle. He carefully adjusts his grip on my right arm, lifting it towards his face. He places a soft kiss on my wrist, maintaining eye contact with me. It’s so hot. I didn’t think having someone kiss my wrist could be this heated. Oh my.

His lips travel all around it, before suddenly moving up the back of my hand and on my knuckles. s**t. Now this is Bridgerton p**n. Focus, Perrie. Don’t lose it so quickly. He’s just kissing your hand. Yeah, but it’s sooo good … Okay, look at the curtains.

“What was that about minding the curtains?” I suddenly hear myself ask, before I’m able to stop myself. Hunter stops kissing my fingers for a moment, smiling in a knowing way. He lets go off me, much to my disappointment, then walks towards the door to lock it.

“Stavros had a roommate, while he was attending college in Greece, who really liked bringing different girls around. One time, he wasn’t being really careful and Stavros came back to messy curtains. He had to cut them off and bring them home to his mom, who stitched them back. He told her they accidentally caught on fire,” he explains, making me chuckle. Okay, that was unexpected.

“Is that why he always got hungry when you called me?” I wonder. “And why he suddenly felt the need to have a gigantic meal in the evening?” I continue questioning him.

Hunter chuckles as he turns towards me, then nods. His gaze is telling me that we’re done talking about his roommate, and I make myself shut up. I’ve wanted this since the day he left. Better make use of our time, while we have the chance.

Before I know it, we’re making out on his bed, our hands roaming everywhere they can reach. This time, I make sure I unzip his jeans before trying to shove my hand inside them again. I quickly brush the thoughts away, helping him undress me between the kisses he steals.

Everything is happening so quickly, that he’s thrusting inside me in a record time, and I have my legs wrapped around his back, unable to leave even an inch of my skin not touching his. I try to keep my moans quiet, but I fail miserably. His neighbors are probably having a ton of fun, listening to us right now, but I don’t care. I’ve missed him too much to care.

Once he shoves a finger in there, while he’s still going at it, I can’t keep quiet anymore. “Oh, Hunter!” I call out in pleasure, digging my nails into the delicate skin of his back. He shuts me up by planting a deep kiss onto my lips, letting out a moan as he thrusts deeper.

His hand is positioned in a way that gets me off within literally two minutes, and while he’s still going at it, I’m already arching my back in total ecstasy. s**t. I’ve been missing this feeling so badly.

As he lets out a shaky breath, I know he’s there too. I move my hips against his, making him moan in surprise. He collapses onto me, his body shaking with waves of pleasure that rush through him. I breathe out in relief, burying my hands into his curls.

He lies on top of me, still trying to come back to his senses as he turns his head towards me. I kiss him, still wrapped up in his ecstasy, as I feel him pulsing inside me. I love this feeling.

“I love you,” he murmurs as he pulls away to look at me. I smile blissfully.

“I love you, too. So much,” I let him know, before pulling him back to kiss me again.

Fifteen minutes later, we’re both ready to head out, even if I wasn’t exactly ready for a Latino night. But I make it work with a flowy blouse and jeans. It’s not like anyone there will judge how I look. Family and friends of students from all over the States will be there. I’m sure no one exactly brought clothes specifically for this party.

As we get there, the music just makes me want to start moving. I walk backwards in bachata step, while holding Hunter’s hand. He chuckles at my enthusiasm and spins me around, then searches the crowd. “Do you see your parents anywhere?” he wonders.

I soon spot them somewhere near the stage and we head towards them through the dancing crowd. It seems like there are people from all over the world here. And at different dancing levels too. There are ones that seem like they’re dancing for the first time ever, some who look like they know what they’re doing and ones that are ruling the dance floor. I’m not sure in which category the two of us will belong.

My parents are somewhere between the second and the third group. You know, I rarely see them dance together but at the moment, they look like they’re having a lot of fun. I’m glad they came here.

I smile and wave at my mom as she notices me and she smiles back. But she doesn’t have the time to wave, because dad already spins her around, clearly having a blast. Hunter and I join them close by. I can’t help but feel a little nervous. This isn’t exactly my type of music. I mean, I do like it, but I’ve never really danced to it. Apart from that one time I gave Hunter a sexy dance one evening … Okay, too much info, Perrie.

But as I look into Hunter’s eyes, confidence radiating from them, I can’t help but smile. We got this. We know what we’re doing. I mean, if I don’t, at least he does. And until now, I was always able to follow his lead.

We start moving with the basic step, he lets me get the hang of it, before going for a dramatic spin. Oh, here we go. Then, he dips me low towards the ground, pulling me so close when I come back up again, that it gives me a sense of being close to falling over. But our bodies stick together like they’re glued against one another. We hold each other in a way that gives us enough balance to stay on our feet.

Jeez, I hope my parents aren’t watching this. But soon enough, I don’t care anymore. Hunter leans me down, spins me and lifts me up like we’ve been doing this forever. Well, dancing is kind of our thing. I mean, it’s Hunter’s thing. But it became ours about a year ago. I’m actually missing homecoming again. It’s tomorrow. And I don’t give a damn about it, because I have my date right here.

We barely move away from each other for as long as the event lasts. We’re lead by a professional dancer, who moves amongst us and improves our posture, compliments us and steals dance partners every now and then. He steals me away from Hunter too, for a moment, but as he gives me back, my boyfriend shows off a little, spinning me around, before grabbing my thigh and leaning me deep towards the ground. I can literally feel my hair brushing against it.

“Ay, que lindo, cariño!” the man shouts into his microphone, making me blush and Hunter smirk. Showoff. But I love him for that. He makes me feel like I’m actually living my life. Not just existing.

The event only lasts until nine, because it’s still part of a college family weekend program. Anyway, the four of us get drinks, then go our separate ways, agreeing to meet at the Visitor Center at nine in the morning, to start our visit at the university properly.

As Hunter and I are walking back to his dorms, I’m holding his hand in complete bliss. “I’m so happy to be here,” I tell him, meaning the fact that I’m able to spend time with him in person, not through a screen. But he understands it in a completely different way.

“Really? So, you like it here?” he asks, making me blink in surprise as I look at him. He doesn’t notice that. He just smiles, already starting to talk about how diverse their programs are and how many activities they offer. I don’t have the heart to stop him and say that I don’t like Yale that much. In general yes, but … Oh, I don’t know. I was sure that I wanted to study here, but honestly, now that I’m here … I don’t see myself as part of this university. It’s nice, sure. But … It’s not me.

Hunter goes on and on about Yale, telling me everything that excites him about it so much, while I try to keep a smile on my face and listen. Out of politeness, if not anything else. But I really don’t feel like I belong here. I mean, yes, I belong to Hunter’s site. I don’t doubt that at all. But spending four years in New Haven? I guess it’s something I’ll really have to think about.

As Hunter starts telling me about the English major program, which offers creative writing as part of its course, I can’t help but listen. It does sound amazing. Maybe it’s the nerves. I mean, New Haven isn’t so bad, right? It just looks a little different from what I’m used to. Yeah. It’s just nerves. I can attend Yale. It’s nice enough. And I’ll get to see Hunter every day. I have to work really hard to get in. That inspiration better strikes soon, I have a writing competition to enter.