Illegally Yours |+18|

14. It's better if you don't wait up for me.

Bess.

An overwhelming fear fills my body at the thought of being taken away from him.

Every time I saw in other people what affection was, someone's need, I thought that it was impossible for me one day to feel that. But with Aaron I met a new world where it is not only me, but also him. We are. It is as if my lonely life had finally entered that key person who would transform gray into color, and after seeing the luminosity of each tone, I do not want to return to the gloomy gray.

"Are you going to let her take me?" I ask in a whisper as I hold on tightly to his arms, clinging to him.

"Bess" swallows hard, looking at me carefully. "I do not know how..."

"I'm coming back to you" I remind him with a lump in my throat. “Every time I'm taken away from you, I'm coming back, Aaron. I'm not going to stop."

His hand on my neck calmly caresses my skin, as if he's calming me down, also calming himself, because the expression on his face shows only desperation.

"Come, let's open."

I am led by him towards the front door, my steps awkward and forced.

"Aaron…" I turn my face to see him beside me, my eyes pleading as I whisper, "Don't let her take me."

His eyes look at me intensely for several seconds where I wait for an answer that never comes. When he opens the door and his grandmother appears in front of us, I think I know he's not going to do anything to keep me by his side.

"I knew it!" Clarisse pushes her way through us, walking into the apartment. "I knew you were here."

I turn to face her to find her looking at me with relief and maybe a little annoyance, but it's the relief that surprises me.

"I'm sorry" I apologize because I know what I did was wrong. "But I…"

"You scared me, Bess!" Before I can blink, she lunges at me, her arms lulling me tightly. “I was so worried, I thought something happened to you”.

I look at Aaron next to me in confusion, not understanding what I should do in the face of this show of affection. I'm not used to this, I'm not used to someone caring about me and I have no idea what reaction I should have.

"I'm fine," I whisper doubtfully. "Nothing happened to me".

I shiver when she runs her hand through my hair, and it's only when a barely perceptible sob escapes my lips that I realize I'm crying.

When she finally lets go of me, Aaron pulls me to his side and wipes my tears with his thumbs, watching me closely with eyes full of concern.

"Why are you crying?"

I look from him to Clarisse, still unable to understand why I'm getting so much from them.

"She cares about me," I whisper as I feel tears fall. "And I don't understand why..." I choke on my own words. "I mean, I'm nothing to her and..."

"Oh pretty," I collapse onto his chest as he pulls me into a tight hug. "You're adorable, who in your right mind isn't going to love you?" He whispers in my ear. "That's impossible, Bess."

I wrap my hands around his waist and hold on tighter to him, holding on a little to his words as well.

"It's just... I'm not used to this" I'm honest.

"Aaron, did you sleep with Bess?" I hear Clarisse ask. "What's going on? Why does she have your clothes?

Immediately, I feel how he tenses and as if touching me burns him, he pulls away from me.

“Not what...”

“We slept together” I start to say before he denies it.

Clarisse stares at us, eyes wide with disbelief.

"You... what?"

“We slept together” I repeat in a whisper. “Aaron likes me and I like him. And I really appreciate you wanting to help me, but I'm not going to leave his side."

"Bess!" Aaron says in surprise.

"I see no reason to lie" I continue. “If she takes me back to her house, I'm going to run away again. I'm going to do it over and over again. A thousand times and a thousand times more. Those necessary".

Two pairs of eyes stare at me in amazement, like I'm some kind of alien when really, I'm just being honest.

"Aaron, did you sleep with Bess?" Clarisse asks. “This is uncomfortable and… I have never worried about your s****l life because I have always believed that you have managed that part of your life with great maturity… but… do you know that she is underage?”

"Grandma, we just sleep together, that's all."

"He doesn't want to have s*x with me," I add in her defense. "And he doesn't believe me when I tell him I like him." I frown. "Does he believe you when you tell him?"

"What?"

“What if he does believe you when you tell him you love him?” I ask again because apparently she has not heard me well.

"Yes," she answers cautiously. "He does believe me."

I look at Aaron immediately, the frown on my brows and lips deepening. “Why do you believe her?”

"Christ, Bess," he runs a hand down his face. “Pretty, let me talk, please.

"But..."

“Leave it, honey.” Clarisse walks over to me and gently lays a hand on my arm. "Let him talk."

"Fine," I grumble.

"Bess and I slept together, we didn't have s*x," he says clearly, staring at his grandmother. “And I'm not going to make mistakes with her, Grandma. You know me, you should know that I have control in what I do. I'm not impulsive, so I'm not going to screw everything up in a second."

"What are you wanting to say?"

"That I thought it was best for Bess to live with you." He sucks in a breath as he starts to talk about it. "But I was wrong. Bess needs me, no one else."

"Aaron." Clarisse looks at him as if she is slowly understanding the magnitude of the matter. "Oh God, that can't be true."

"It is." He bites down hard on his lip before letting go, and then, letting the words go naturally, "She's not leaving my side."

I shudder at his words and his voice is echoing in my ears, penetrating little by little into my soul, marking me in some strange way.

Clarisse brings a hand to her chest as she breathes heavily, staring at both of us.

I smile shyly as he extends his hand to me, inviting me to hold it. I do it without hesitation and I approach, marking the point that we are not going to separate.

"Are you sure of this?" she asks when she seems to calm down. "Are you two sure about this?"

“Yes” we both say at the same time.

She nods, making her lips a firm line. And I know she's not happy with Aaron's decision, but I also know she's not going to do anything to keep me away from him.

I look at Aaron and show him all my teeth, showing him how happy I am with his decision.

He walks over and chastely kisses my forehead, and that alone is enough for me to believe that everything is going to be okay.

With him, everything will be fine.

[...]

Back at work, in the comfort of my small office, I feel so happy that while I deal with the new documents that Carmencita offered me, I softly hum some songs that I have put on the computer to play.

"I wasn't able to do it!" I jump when Zaid bursts into my office, making me jump. "I couldn't, Bess!"

He sits angrily in the chair across from me, his arms curled around his chest as he gasps.

Ok, so...

"Weren't you able to tell Ivana how you feel about her?" I guess, remembering his situation as a crush on the girl upstairs who apparently doesn't know he exists.

"No, I wasn't able to," he gasps dramatically. “And I tried! I swear! But it was only enough to have her in front of me for I to forget even my name!”

“Oh, but you got close to her,” I say excitedly as I stop the music.

"Yes, but I wish I hadn't."

"Why?"

“I stuttered and, besides…” he says the last part very quietly, so I don't hear him.

"I don't understand you, Zaid."

"I vomited."

"What?" I ask him.

“I threw up all my guts in the flowerpot by her front door!” He screams like crazy. "Flowerpot that his dead grandmother had left him before she died!"

“Ouch”.

"Yeah, ouch."

"You're a mess" I tell him honestly. "A total disaster."

“Thanks” he clicks his tongue at me.

"So now what will you do?"

He looks at me with lighted eyes, as if the answer lies within me.

"I was planning on you telling me."

“To all the muffins in the world, Zaid. Who do you think I am? I don't know anything about love!"

"You made the boss fall in love with you," he says simply. “That alone is enough for everyone here to see you as a supreme being. You softened his hard heart…”

“Aaron doesn't have a hard heart,” I reply.

"Oh, it will be only with you, because everyone here is afraid of him because of his constant rages and unkindness."

I twist my lips because it's impossible for me to imagine an Aaron like that. It just seems inconceivable to me.

"Whatever," I roll my eyes. "Let's focus on your."

“Ivana,” he says, smiling at just saying her name.

My goodness, he really has feelings for her.

"Yes, in Ivana" I brush one of my eyebrows with my finger while I think of an idea.

"What if you serenade him?" He ask me.

"Being you, you're capable of throwing the singer off the balcony or something," I shake my head. "No, not that. Besides, what you need is for her to fall in love with you. A serenade isn't going to do that."

“Yes, you're right”, he thinks for another moment. "And chocolates?"

"Nou".

"Flowers?"

"No i***t!" I lose control a little because of his empty head. “She doesn't need details. What she needs is to meet you."

"And how is she supposed to do that?!"

“Why are you yelling?!”

"What?!" He looks at me doubtfully. "But you're the one yelling at!"

"Because you do it…"

"Bess!" I take the leap of my life when I hear Aaron's voice. "What's going on?"

He walks into my office and immediately the room is filled with his presence.

"Nothing," I say. "I'm just talking to Zaid."

I don't understand why he looks angry and even hurt. Also, he looks at me like I done something wrong, when really, I haven't.

"Go to work, Zaid," he growls without taking his eyes off me.

"Yes, sir" the dark-haired man nods obediently and quickly leaves the place, leaving Aaron and me alone.

“You took this whole thing about meeting new guys too seriously,” he says, walking up to me. "Not a day has passed since we talked about it, and you're already doing your job."

"What?"

"Also, I thought that pun was just us."

I look at him without understanding what he is talking about, then I relive the conversation with Zaid in my mind and understanding comes to me.

"Are you mad at me because I asked him why he's yelling?" I ask in disbelief. "Aaron, that doesn't make sense."

His jaw hardens and he averts his eyes while still looking angry.

"I came to tell you to get your things ready because Christina is coming to get you," he says, still not looking at me. “I want you to spend the day with her. Maybe you need to talk to a woman about everything that has happened between us.”

"Why is it always about what you want?" I stand up. "You didn't even ask for my opinion to decide what will become of my day."

"Bess" he closes his eyes for a second. “Everything I do, I do with your well-being in mind. In nothing else”.

"No, everything you do is about you and what you want" I approach him and leave my hands on his chest. "Why don't you ask me what I want?"

He stares at me and I stare back as hard as I can, trying to convey what I want.

"What do you want, Bess?"

"You know what I want." His hand stops mine as I start to undo the buttons on his shirt, but silently I walk over to him and kiss his hand, inviting him to let go of me.

He does.

I smile sheepishly as I unfastened the top buttons of his shirt, exposing part of his beautiful chest.

"What do you want?" He asks, watching with darkened eyes as I reach out and kiss his skin.

"When you're excited, your eyes darken, right?" I ask curiously as I reminisce about the times I've seen his eyes like that.

"What do you want, Bess?" He asks me sharply, giving me no answer.

I run my nose gently over the undulations of his chest, between his pectorals and rise on the balls of my feet to caress the length of his neck. I smile as his scent fills my lungs, intoxicating me.

"What do you want?" He growls taking my neck in her hand, gently forcing me to look at him.

"Your mouth".

“Bess...” he warns.

"Why is it so hard for you to kiss me, uh?" I ask, looking at his lips. “I want to kiss you, Aaron. Much".

“I'm not lying when I say that everything I do, I do with you in mind.” Aaron runs his thumb up and down in his grip on my neck, causing me a shudder. He notices and smiles a little. "You're not ready for a kiss, Bess."

“I already gave it to you,” I say, letting go of my secret because I hate the idea of ​​keeping anything from him.

"What?"

"While you were sleeping, I kissed you." His eyebrows furrow as he listens to me. "I kissed you this morning while you were sleeping, Aaron."

"f**k, Bess." He takes a step away from me, his hands fisted. "You do not stop surprinsing me".

"You're angry? Because if you are, I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry,” I smile at my play on words. “I don't regret doing it. On the contrary, I want to do it again."

"What else do you want, Bess?" I look at him with confusion. “You tell me I never ask you what you want, so I'm doing it now. What else do you want?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes".

"It's okay. I'll tell you” I take a step back and lean a little on my desk. “I want you to put aside this stupid idea that we see more people. I want you to kiss me. I want you to be my boyfriend and, above all, I want you to always be happy being by my side, just as I am being with you.

“Bess…”

“And s*x” I say to him when I remember. "I also want sex."

A huge smile spreads across his lips.

"Precious little girl, you're making me addicted to you."

"No," I shake my head. “That's not possible, Aaron. I am not a drug”.

"I bet you are," he laughs when he meets my confused gaze. "Forget it".

“So” I begin. “Have you put aside the idea of ​​us seeing more people yet?”

He looks at me for several seconds and I think he's going to give in, but he seems to back off at the last minute: "No, that idea still stands."

"Aaron..."

"Actually, tonight…" he seals his lips in a thin line before finishing his sentence.

"Tonight...?"

"Nothing tonight, Bess, don't worry." He closes his shirt again, avoiding my eyes.

Before I can insist, an excited Christina makes her appearance, grinning with all her teeth.

"I need you to come with me to buy everything I need for my birthday party!" She walks into the office and totally ignores Aaron, stopping in front of me. "There are still a few days for that, but I need to plan everything from now on."

I raise my eyebrows in surprise.

"I don't know anything about it," I confess. "I haven't even been to a party."

She purses her lips for a second and then smiles brightly again.

"Don't worry, it will be easy" she takes my hand and pushes me towards the door. "Let's go!"

"Wait!" I grab hold of the doorknob and wriggle out of her grip. "I'm coming, I just need to say goodbye to Aaron."

Christina shrugs and follows her lead, leaving Aaron and me alone.

When I look at him, he is looking at me with a smile.

“Come on, I'll turn off your computer and close the office. You're going to have fun with her, pretty."

"Yeah, I know," I nod. "I always have fun with Christina."

“I'm so glad, Bess. I really do."

I know.

I know he will always be happy to see me happy, just as I will be if he is.

"See you tonight, right?" I ask, urgently needing his answer.

And two, four, ten seconds pass before he gives me an answer.

"Maybe I'll be late," he whispers. "You better not wait up for me, Bess."

I stare at him, waiting for him to have the courage to tell me to my face what he's going to do tonight.

He does not do it.

And I want to yell at him that he is a hypocrite for daring to claim me for seeing me talking to Zaid, when he is not going to waste time and tonight he is going to follow his magnificent plan of dating more women.

I nod as I dig my nails into my hands, controlling myself a bit so he doesn't see that he's hurting me.

However, it is the first time that I say goodbye to him without any sign of affection involved.

I quickly search for my things and whisper without looking at him, "See you later, Aaron."

And I leave, feeling a huge lump in my throat.