My red aura.
1476 Words
I could see the man who called himself Zerano was depleted of all energy after his reading with my mother.
I felt that way every day when she focused her attention on me, it was exhausting to be constantly talked at. I knew exactly how Zerano was feeling.
Mother went into the shop next door to get her nails touched up.
Zerano motioned for me to enter his zen room.
He had me sit in a plush chair and dimmed the lights.
" Can you tell me how long you have been carrying this secret?" He said to me.
I shrugged.
"My secrets are mine, I don't share them, that's why we call them secrets Z." I said, not taking the bait of his trickery.
I had been around fortune tellers, psychics, tarot card readers and the like far too many times than I could count.
My mother was insatiable when it came to all of this stuff.
" What is your name?" He asked me as he picked up a small cup with some leafy looking tea.
" Well, Z you can call me Jo." I said moving in my chair a bit to face him more fully.
" Your aura is red. You are quite aggressive I fear. I need to calm you down here." He held the tea out for me to drink it.
I shook my head. " I feel ok." I smiled.
His phone beeped. He cussed under his breath and excused himself.
I stood up and looked at the books on his book shelf.
He had written several books, I assumed a self published author.
He had a single book, but several hundred of them on his shelf. Getting into Zen with Zerano Valeno.
I opened the book.
Blah blah blah getting zen.
I slammed it shut.
My head began to hurt. I smelled smoke.
Poking my head into the other room, I saw Z smoking a little cigarette and holding his head.
" I told you Michael, I will have your money by the weeks end. I have a pretty big client here now, she pays quite well. Her daughter is up next, yes I am sure I will make my next p*****t. Calm the f**k down."
He saw me watching him and he ended the call quickly.
"Jo, let's go back and finish,sorry about that. You know bills to pay." He grinned.
I sat back down.
" Hey Z, I have an idea here. I have no use in this stuff, but what I need is for you to take this money here and pretend that we had a very, very good session.
Mother tends to pick me apart if I do not perform well in these type of situations, so you can pay the rent, and I can leave as soon as possible."
I smiled, pressing a wad of bills into his hands. Mother gave me the money to tip him with.
When our hands met, he sucked in his breath and took a step back from me.
" You are pregnant." He smiled.
I frowned. "Don't tell mother." I said sitting down again.
" Tell me, when you told the baby daddy, he didn't take it well right?" he knew, somehow.
" No, he didn't seem to need a baby in his busy, richboy life." I admitted.
" Jo, it doesn't really matter I'm afraid. This baby is not meant to be." He said sadly.
I moved my head to the side and looked at him as he stared intently at my stomach.
" Infact, you have already started to lose him." He said sadly.
" I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to tell you all of this. But spirit wants you to know something."
He angled his head to look upward.
" You have a man coming into your life. He is very dangerous to your heart.
He will hurt you very much.
You must find the strength to overcome your fears and your past hurts."
I frowned at his words, hearing another speaking to me now, my ears began to ring as the Spanish music played, Zerano became blurred...no I didnt want to wake up .....
"Dangerous man? Punta, you think I'm dangerous ? The one who will buy you at the auction is so much worse than I.
At least I give you relief with the drugs. Yes...you want me don't you bonita, ok here's another hit first, then we will play." I felt the soothing effect of the heroin in my veins. My skin crawled with his hands groping me. My eyes fluttered then closed again....
____________
The man Zerano was staring at me. I hadn't heard him though.
I tried to focus my attenion back on Zerano. He seemed to be rambling. My mind tried to listen to him, not stay in Mexico.
" Now, when it comes to your new job, be leary of a woman there, she wants to cause you much strife. She won't rest until she ruins you, or your reputation."
His tone changed as he squeezed my hands and whispered,"Jo, you are strong!"
And suddenly, he shook his head and smiled, offering me some more tea and ending our little session.
I did not take the tea, my belly hurt.
I felt wetness between my legs. I was indeed losing my baby.
_______________
A week went by, I had lost the baby.
I had to admit to myself that my stress level came way down, but I was feeling so sad.
My mind had just accepted that I would be a new mother.
I went down to talk to my father.
" Hey squirt, how you doing?" He asked me with a loopy grin.
At least he was a happy drunk.
He pat my head, then pulled my arm, so I could sit on the porch swing next to him.
I could barely take the alcohol oozing from his pores.
" I want to take you away honey." He smiled and held my arm.
I grinned at him.
"Ok dad, where too?" It was a thing he would tell me, I learned to just smile and let him make his plans, he never went through with any of them.
He was drinking a bottle of water.
" I am planning a big, big cruise. We will set sail from Texas and down to Mexico. Have you ever wanted to scuba dive?"
I nodded slowly, Mexico. My mouth seemed to say " Yes" in slow motion, but my heart beat sped up at his words..Mexico.
I shook my head to clear it and looked at my watch, I had a job interview in an hour.
I listened to him chatter about a cruise we would never take, because he was a dreamer. I didn't know that I was so wrong, so f*****g wrong.
_____________
I needed to concentrated.
I focused my mind on getting that perfect job.
I had applied at a new business down town. I majored in business administration.
They were looking for all sorts of people as it was a new start up company called Prestige Securities.
I heard about it from my friend Emmery, she herself applied there.
I finished my conversation with my father and kissed his cheek.
" Ok daddy, tell me when and where and I will be there, love you." I jumped off the swing and spilled his water. It reeked of alcohol, he was pretending it was water?
I picked it up and handed it to him, he wouldn't meet my eyes.
I went to go back up to my bedroom.
" Hey, you ok?" He called out as I stood with my back to him, holding back tears.
" Yup." I said as I hurried off.
I was quite certain he did not recall that I told him my secret about the pregnancy last week.
We never spoke of it again.
My eyes were feeling quite wet right then. I hurried past Anita, the house manager.
She would try to pin me down if she saw me crying. She was a caring person like that.
" Hold up little girl!" She cried.
I stopped and waited, not looking at her.
" You need breakfast and I put it on your desk, eat every bite. You are far too thin little girl." She instructed.
" Yes maam." I said, not looking at her.
I ran upstairs.
" Banana and coffee?" I saw the two items on my desk.
I smiled, she knew me. I never ate breakfast.
I sipped the coffee and took a big bite, making myself eat it.
Then I got showered to prepare for my interview.
There was blood still in my undies.
I held my flat belly and frowned, my hip bones were feeling prominent. I had lost about 10 pounds after coming home.
- Writer
