Bound by love, a heart never free.

I found myself drinking in the boy's frat house tonight. My friends and dorm mates, Emmery and Stacy had used their very strong peer pressure to lure me away from studying for finals. It was graduation week. A cause for intense cellebrations and partying. After 4 long years of hard work, we were finally graduating. I had been drinking wine, but then Stacy handed me a flavored shot of tequila. I shook my head and gritted my teeth at the taste, swallowing it back. Everyone laughed, they knew I was a light weight. "One more Jo!" yelled my roommate Emmery. Everyone else shouted,"Shot, shot, shot!" Charles Hudson came to my rescue, he knew me, my family. My dad was an alcoholic, I was leary of drinking too much. Charles and I had gone to the same boarding school together since 4th grade. He was in my class and was good friends with my older sister Brea and her doctor husband David. He grabbed the shot of tequila that everyone wanted me to drink and threw it back, slamming the glass down and raising his arms. Everyone cheered, I moved away. I didn't want to get totally wasted. Charles owned the party, he was the handsomest guy there. He found me on the porch and took me out to the back yard. There were plenty of quiet spots where we could talk privately. I didn't realize he was totally wasted, until he fell on the grass and started to laugh. I gave him my hand. This was good, it felt nice. " Thanks Joey. I think you should come down here with me though," his dimples showing, as he smiled below me. He had his long legs stretched out in the grass. I shook my head, my long brown pony tail swung in the moon light. " Charles Hudson, you big flirt! You know David will kick your pretty ass if you touch me." He shrugged. He was such a pretty boy too and he knew it. He had those big doe eyes and lashes that sent a girl into the meltzone. His hair was wavy and blond, he wore it just above his ears. I always told myself I was immune to him. I was a liar. I saw him sit up and pat the grass next to him. " Let's try that again. Miss Josephine Brennan, would you do me the great honor of sitting in the grass next to me?" I plopped down. I guess I was drunk too. That single shot of tequila was hitting me now. " Now, let me look at you."He smiled, trying to focus. Melting, melting. He took both of my hands and stared into my blue eyes. " I can't tell if you are absolutely gorgeous or just pretty as a speckled pup. Come closer please." He pulled me in. I smelled his fancy cologne, ah...I smiled back at him. My eyes crossed a bit from the alcohol. He laughed. His laugh was a mixture of rolling giggles, starting low and ending high. It was infectious. He sobered and touched my face. " Gorgeous it is. But I'm too drunk to see you properly, maybe take off the sweater?" He offered. I shook my head. He lay back and pulled me with him. Holding me as we stared lying on our backs, looking up into the darkness. There was soft music playing in the back ground as the party wound down. "Oh look a shooting star!" I cried, seeing magic in the night sky. He saw it too, a long tail streaking above us, arcing by. Charles turned to face me. " Best make a wish, then kiss me for luck Jo." He grinned. I closed my eyes to make a wish. I wished Charles would kiss me. ______________ The music changed to a Spanish radio playing a fast song that crackled with static. My foggy mind wandered in and out thinking of my life before I was taken, don't think about the chains binding your wrists. The tall, angry man with the facial hair had injected me with...most likely heroin. I fought him at first, but the drugs made it impossible. He touched my skin, whispering for me to "let go" I did let go. I went deeper, back into my memories. I didn't want to be here in Mexico.....Charles please! I dreamed about us instead.... ____________ Charles was just inches from my face when I opened my eyes again. His eyes bore into mine. We kissed, our first kiss. I felt warmth and passion filling all my senses. His tongue swirling with mine. I responded with my hands on his shoulders, massaging his muscles as we deepened the kiss. The next thing I knew, he carried me swiftly to his private room. I don't think we even stopped kissing. I made love with him then. I wanted him. He was a sweet, good looking guy, one that I trusted. We weren't in love. But we were in a bubble of love and passion that overtook us both. I fell asleep in his arms afterwards. I woke up around 3am. He was gone. Making my way back up to the boys frat house, I saw him sleeping there, his arms around my friend Stacy. His hand was up her shirt. I believed they most likely had s*x tonight too, Charles was a well known flirt. I just sighed to myself, frowning. If anyone was to be with Charles Hudson, it would be her. She was very beautiful and irresistible to most men. I couldn't fault them. I had no claims over him. He made me no promises. I quietly went back to the girls dorm and went to bed, smiling at the beautiful night I had shared with that handsome man. __________ The next morning, I saw my friends as they slunk back to our shared room. I sat up in bed, smiling at them. "You two look horrible." I teased them. Emmery suddenly pushed Stacy out of the way and ran to the bathroom to puke. I made coffee for us. They both went back to bed, not wanting any after drinking all night. I teased Stacy. "So you and Charles Hudson huh?" She shrugged. " I'm not sure. I think we kissed. But we were both too drunk to do anything else." She admitted. I kept my mouth shut about what I had done with him. ___________ The following Monday we had final exams. Charles was sitting behind me. He kicked my seat. I turned to look at him. " Sorry, accident." He grinned. Neither of us commented on our one night of passion. We went back to taking our tests. It was like that the rest of the week. No communication. I took it to mean that he was not interested in me in that way. I supposed we both were busy packing for home and finishing out our senior year. On our last day at school my sister's husband David came for me. I packed all my stuff into his trunk. He ran up the grassy knoll and shouted to someone. " Hey, Hudson! Need a ride?" He yelled at Charles, offering him a ride home. We lived in the same town of Mayfield Oregon. I was hoping he would say no. It was awkward enough seeing him in class every day. To my utter surprise he said yes and ran to David's car. I sat in the back seat so they could catch up. " Hey man did you see the game?" David spoke about hockey. They were both avid fans. This was what drew them together as friends. David was 2 years older than us. They spoke about hockey and certain players, I went to my phone and worked on my resume. I was going to get a job as soon as possible. I didn't want to be at home right now. My father was a drunk, my mother was always mad at him, so it seemed. Mother had come from money, daddy was her family's lawyer who happened to fall in love with my mother, winning her over with his charm and good looks. Yet, years later....it was pretty bad. Daddy caught mommy cheating, she said she was lonely, then he drank more because he didn't want to face any reality. They were both miserable. I was deep in thought about this when David said, "Hey, you listening to me?" " Me? Oh no sorry. What's up?" I said looking at them both. " We are stopping for lunch, want anything?" Asked my brother in law. I frowned, not hungry. My stomach was in knots, I felt nervous and anxious about being home again. " No." I said biting my lip. Charles turned then to look at me. " I'm getting you a soy milk shake and fries then, you don't eat meat right? You are entirely too skinny Jo." I nodded distractedly. I was surprised he knew that I didn't eat animal products. The boys stopped and ordered through the drive through. I felt hot tears come to my eyes, thinking about my parents.