Something shifted.
1395 Words
I felt nauseated at the thought of being alone with him.
My mind was blank. A honeymoon? What the f**k was that? He nearly kills me then wants me to love him?
I frowned. "I'd rather be murdered by Arturo than be alone with you."
" Stop that. Just try to listen a moment."
He turned to me and took both of my hands.
" Miss Brennan, would you do me the honor of accompanying me on a vacation. Just you and I?"
I shook my head, "What is honor?"
He kissed my head.
"Fine, pack my muzzle and my leash, I will be your beaten dog to lay at your feet while you have a vacation."
But, I knew if I was off this island I could slip away, I had hope.
" One little rule wife." He squeezed my hands.
My brow knotted.
" I want you to really try to forgive me and start over, no games. If you do this, I will reward you greatly, deal?"
I thought about his words.
"I agree. I will really try to forgive you, but Manuel...if I am never free from being your s*x slave, I can never be free to have my own will, my soul is lost."
" Josephine, however you came into my life, is not as important as my love for you."
" I see. Then I will love you and accept you as you are. No need for a vacation. I do your will. I forgive you because it is your will."
" You have made your point. I know you want to leave me, but for this week only, you will pretend that you met me the conventional way. Where did you meet your first boyfriend?"
" To be very honest with you, I never had a boyfriend before. I had s*x in college one time and got pregnant, he didn't even remember it.
I lost that baby and have never tried s*x again. The next time I had s*x was with that tall man as he raped me violently, then again every time that you raped me.
I have never felt a woman's pleasure in bed with a man. I do not believe I am able to. I think the tall man took that from me, or you did?"
My husband looked away, in shame.
" So when we make love, you have never reached a climax?"
" I have never made love, I only know that you rape me and I try to please you so I won't get punished."
"Yes, we are married now so it is not rape wife. You will enjoy it, I command you to."
"I will enjoy it then as you command me to." I repeated his ridiculous words.
" I will make the plans. Phina, I will wait for your wounds to heal. Then we will leave."
" Yes, after my punishment heals, I will go with you husband."
I only knew to agree. I hadn't seen Ian at all this past week. I needed to tell him Manuel's plans to take me away.
We left the next week. I was on my own with Manuel, alone.
___________
My husband took me to a nice hotel in Costa Rica. We had our own cabana. A private beach with soft, white sand.
" Mrs. Ortega will you join me at the beach, wear this please."
Manuel handed me a gift, a very small, green bikini.
I removed my clothing as I placed it on. "Your body is amazing wife."
I showed my whole body to him. I numbly turned around, he saw the scars on my back, and winced.
I wasn't fit for public viewing.
" Here, wear this shirt so you don't burn love." He placed a t-shirt over my head.
" Don't be ashamed of my back, I fully deserved it my love, I ran from you.
Everyone will know I am a s*x slave. It's fine. I have accepted my position in your life as your s*x slave."
" Stop saying that. You are my wife, not my s*x slave." He was getting angry.
" I am whatever you wish me to be. Tell me what to do, how to act if that pleases you."
" Shut up." He said angrily.
He shoved me back into the room and onto the bed.
He ripped off my clothes and spread my legs.
I smiled my fake smile.
" Now you will enjoy my body." I said opening my legs wider.
He lay back and covered his eyes.
" No, you will be quiet now. I am going to say something." He said.
" When I was a boy my father beat my mother until her face was swollen and black.
He was a very violent man. I am becoming him and I hate it. I have one chance at change and you Josephine, are it.
You are my one chance. I need you. I want you to let go of the past and be present with me now as your...well your lover.
I will not rape you. I know you call it that, but for me, I love you.
Now listen up wife, I belong to you and want you to be as happy as you can be, no more bitterness. Please try, for me. For my mother. Please Josephine?"
I stopped fighting him. He was being very honest and I saw him as a little boy learning to be an abuser of women.
I sighed.
" Ok, how many woman have you bought before me?" I wanted to see if he really was going to be honest.
" Three. I made them all my household staff after they had my 7 children. They live in my other homes now, not with me."
" Are they free to leave?" I asked.
"Yes of course. I gave them their freedom, they chose to stay." He said.
" What is your middle name and how old are you?"
"Benedict, I'm 29." He rubbed his chin.
" Why a s*x slave and not just a normal relationship?" I might be pushing it now.
" I have some fantasies that I wanted to live out, you know bondage stuff. But Josephine, you were the only one I ever wanted to marry, to try to bind you to me when I release you, eventually."
" Call me Jo. And you will release me some day, swear it?"
" Yes, if you give us a real chance to be in love, I will release you. Please let me show you how a woman can feel at a man's touch."
I placed his hand in mine.
" I want to let you show me, but I have a bit of...anxiety..maybe trauma. Can we drink a little bit first?"
I wanted him. He was very good looking. I fought this for so long. Ian called it Stockholm syndrome. I think I had it...bad.
My husband poured me a drink and placed it in my hand.
" Is it too strong?" He asked seeing me gasp at the strong tequila.
I shook my head. "One more, please."
He made another. I knocked it back.
" Ok, can you kiss me now?"
He slowly lowered his lips over mine and tasted me, his tongue slid into my open mouth.
I let go and let him show me how to love.
He touched my neck and down the side of my body.
I wanted his hand between my legs. I lifted my hips to his touch.
He began a slow rhythm with his thumb on my moist heat.
My head went back as I arched my chest up with his touch.
He asked me if he could enter me now. I nodded and licked my lips.
For the very first time in my life, I felt the intense build up of joy with a man inside me.
He moved deeply and I grabbed him, pulling him closer.
I cried out as I found a very intense release. My body filled with a thousand little electrical pulses making me very relaxed.
He moved away and gently rolled me over, then seeing my scars he stopped and kissed my back tenderly.
" I'm so very sorry. I made so many mistakes with you. Jo, please..I need to make it up to you somehow."
- Writer
