Pinky Promise

Chapter 18 Wanting To Just Go Home

Lillith's POV

After everything that has taken place on national TV.. It's doesn't take long for the scavenging reporters to figure out where I'm was taken and supposedly safely put.. The reporters surround mostly all to the one side that I am sitting on, in the car. I just see flashes and cameras bombarding in the window.. They are all yelling out all sorts of questions in the hope that I will answer some, if not all of them. Giving them some kind of statement, but for one thing I'm not in the mood because I just went through that awful trauma, losing someone very special to me because of me... and secondly they are all horrible questions about Jaxon, making him look like a complete monster and there is no way I'm giving into those questions, because I think they are just trying to get some sort of reaction out of me and it won't work..

I'm sure looking from the outside in, it might seem like he was a horrible person with just bad intentions, but of course they couldn't be more wrong.. There is a reason I stayed with him for years, he has always been so sweet to me, just never this sweet like he was the last day.. but still incredibly sweet.. The people on the outside looking in didn't know him, the sweet person he was able to show me behind closed doors, for myself or our relationship that we had.. I'm not going to justify his last actions with a response, because none of them deserve to know that.. It was all for me and him alone.. They don't need to know anything about our personal life together or why he did what he did.. It's none of their business, let alone the world's that they are advertising for, asking these questions and exposing me completely for..

I just make sure the door between me and the reporters is locked and tuck my head into my knees just trying to ignore the plethora of reporters, questions and cameras that are in my face.

I can hear the officer that helped me up when I was with Jaxon outside, as he shoos away the reporters as if they are stray pups looking for scraps outside a restaurant. I look up watching him make the reporters leave as he trails behind them making sure they all left for sure and don't sneak back over.

But of course, it's just my luck that one reporter would sneak past my guard and opening the door that's across from me.. Now I feel stupid for not locking that before, I felt that I didn't need to lock it because the reporters were on the other side of the car.. She slips into the seat next to me as she holds up her recorder in my face.

"Hello Lillith Miller I had some quick questions, I was wondering what snapped in your Ex boyfriend's head to make him attack you and your family, then abducting you to be his s*x slave?" My mouth drops open in shock at the audacity of this woman, to not only assume this horrible accusation, but to ask me.. someone who just went through an awful trauma, this type of question.. I feel like you have to be a horrible person to do that. I just feel the anger and sadness building up inside of me all together and I don't know which one is going to take over. I feel the anger building up more than the sadness, to the boiling point like a pot with water and I about to boil over after everything that I have endured today.

"He didn't attack me or my family and he definitely didn't abduct me to make me his s*x slave.. I don't know where you heard that.. we broke up just because he cheated on me and he realized that when I was gone that I was the only one he wanted anymore.. But I wasn't giving him the time of day.. So he just wanted to show me how much he loved me and that he only wanted me now.. So he tried to take me away to the places I have always wanted to go with just the two of us, making me feel special.. He never beat me or forced me into anything sexual.. get your facts straight. He was a good man who made a bad decision that was all." I spat back at her with so much anger laced in every single word as I feel livid at this point.

The reporter scoffs at my explanation and retorts mockingly back to me. "Yeah that's what they all say... he was a good person.. blah blah blah.. You realize you sound like your just as crazy as him.. Like you love the psycho that abducted you, just like Stockholm syndrome.. So sad, especially for such a beautiful capable woman to be so delusional.. Thanks I think I got what I needed for a good story."

The car door swings open as my now body guard yells at the reporter. "you know you're not suppose to be in here." He says as he confiscates her recorder pissing her off as she storms away.

"I'm so sorry ma'am, she snuck in, but I'll get better about circling the car next time.. do you need anything?" He asks with so much concern riddled in his voice for me. But I just shake my head as I lean up against the door just trying to calm my mind once more.

At this point I don't know how long I have been sitting in the back of this cop car, just thinking about everything today, the good and the bad. But all I know is it's completely dark now, with the deep dark abyss of the night, taking over the whole sky with no stars in sight.. With the clouds making it look way more erie and dreary than expected.

I hate feeling like this and now the weather is almost matching my mood, really enhancing it and even that reporter just added onto my feelings of today. I scoff to myself.. Stockholm syndrome? Seriously? The audacity of that woman is just shocking to say the least.. I really feel with all my heart that he was a good man who just made some bad decisions in the moment, like we all have done.. but his was more drastic of course.. but some of the worst decisions in life are made with the best intentions.

I just wish that instead of figuring out all of his feelings for me last minute, that he would have just given us the best chance by being committed from the beginning of our relationship and not after it ended..

I understand what he was saying before, about how he didn't realize what he had, until it was gone. That is a common thing, hence the saying.. But I hate how he went from cheating on me, to single, then to abductor.. I feel like that is such a huge jump.. But like he said, I wasn't going to give him another chance anyways, when he was just trying to talk with me.. So he felt like he had to step it up to get all of my attention, by showing me how serious he was about this and us.. and it did.

I honestly considered what it would be like just the two of us, if I never got to see anyone else again.. and besides not being able to be around my family and friends, the idea wasn't half bad with how he was changing and showing me who he really was.. it was a type of intoxicating that I never expected.. I was liking or maybe loving more, the guy I got to discover within in this short period of time.

But none of how I feel or how he felt, changes the ending result from today.. He is gone and I'm never getting him back, no matter what I do or how hard I try.. But even with everything that happened with Jaxon and I today.. I just couldn't change any of my very strong feelings for Garrett that will probably never go away and Jaxon knew that.

Jaxon even said I never gave him the best chance in our relationship because of my very strong feelings for Garrett and I know he is right, there was no denying it.. Garrett had a special spot in my heart since the first day I met him and no one was going to take that from me, no matter how hard they tried.

Garrett is the only one in this entire world that knows how to calm my mind and make me feel better every single time and not having him here, is so hard.. I just want him and need him, because I have missed him so much.

I have of course missed my family too, but this isn't the same feelings I get when I think about Garrett.. No one makes me feel the way he does and I just can't wait to see him.. I need him more than anyone can ever really understand or even comprehend.

I let out a deep breathe just feeling impatient about this whole situation. I just want to get home and away from this place, that is now known as my nightmare. I hear the door besides me open as I see the nice cop that's been helping me out the whole time.. He has a look of concern, just worrying about me as he probably should be.

"Ma'am are you still doing ok?" The nice guard timidly asks, but I'm running out of patience at this point, from all the emotions and the exhaustion hitting me so hard like the biggest brick wall. "No I'm not alright.. You said if I came with you that I would get to go home, to see my family.. So I came with you and I haven't got to do any of that and I don't feel like I'm any closer to seeing them then when I was even with Jaxon. I have only been harassed by reporters and left caged in a car, while still covered in my Ex's blood. I just want to go.. I need to get Jaxon's blood off of me, getting changed and even get out of this prison of a car, but I mostly just need to see my boyfriend before I explode." I snap at him as I watch his mouth open and close and his eyes dart around the car, I'm assuming he is trying to figure out what to say and do.. but what is there really that he hasn't done already.. I know he can't do much and that there is only so much he can do, but that doesn't change my feelings about this place and wanting to go home.. now.

"I'm sorry I don't know what to say, but I'll go inform the commanding officer, since he is in charge of your case and I'll be right back." He informs me as he shuts the door and leaves with a haste in his step.

I sigh running my hands through my hair as I stare up at the moon. "I know your somewhere out there and far away from me, but I need you and gosh I wish you were here with me.. I just need to hear your voice, see your smile, smelling your amazing manly musk and feeling your strong comforting arms around me.. because I know just that combination alone will help calm me." I say softly to myself knowing it might sound stupid that I'm talking to the moon, thinking of Garrett.. but who knows maybe he is doing the same thing, staring up at the moon thinking of me too.. Probably not, but a girl can imagine.

I hear the door open up but it is not the guard it is someone else. "Ma'am." He says to me as I nod and he sits down in the car besides me.

"Hello Lillith you can call me Officer Smith.. I have been the lead officer on your case the whole time.. I know this process has been taking longer than expected, but as weird as it may sound I can't just take you wherever you want, whenever you want. We are in another jurisdiction and I have to cross my t's and dot my i's before I can take the key witness and victim to a national news story.. I'm sorry.. But we are almost done and we can head back soon enough. But I heard you would want to get changed and cleaned up of course, because of the.. blood from your Ex, which is understandable. So since I have to sign more papers and we need to get you to answer a couple questions anyways. I was thinking you could maybe use the showers at the police department and we have been able to take your bag of clothing out of the trunk of the car as well so you can change into what you want before we take a plane back to town." He explains to me as I groan and run my hands through my hair.

"Thanks Mr Smith that all will help, it will.. but I can't stop freaking out.. my mind is going crazy and there is only one person who can make me feel better.. So the only thing I really want is to get back to my boyfriend, I miss him I need him. He is the only one who can make me feel better right now." I say so honestly feeling a little pathetic as I nervously look down and play with my hands.

"Oh I know all about that." He says to me as I'm sure he does, he probably has a wife or someone that he loves being around and always makes him feel better. So I just nod with him, because I'm sure he does understand.. Who am I to say he doesn't.

"Or.. I should say I know all about him." He says to me as I say softly, "No Jaxon wasn't my boyfriend anymore, I have a boyfriend at home that just knows me inside and out. That I have spent my whole life with and always knows how to make me feel better.. I just miss him so much and I don't know what to do with myself when I'm not with him." I try to explain as he says, "Yea like I said I know.. it's Garrett." He says to me knowingly as I quickly look over at him because he has now gained all of my attention. "You know about Garrett?" I ask curiously as he scoffs, then jokingly stating as if it's just a common fact, "Yes he hasn't stopped talking about you and was completely illegal the whole investigation, trying to help us find you, but he wouldn't stop coming with us and insisting on being there the whole time.. So much so that I had to force him to wear a bulletproof vest just because he refused to get out of my patrol car. He demanded to come with us and search for you and I was forced to let him because he did help us with information.. But he was searching everywhere for you and has been completely freaking out without you.. So if it makes you feel any better he is feeling the same."

I chuckle to myself thinking about how Garrett has been harassing the poor police officers to try to find me, that does sound like something he would do. "Well thank you, that makes me feel a little better as weird as that may sound." I respond as he pats my shoulder and says, "Ok well we are almost done here and will head back to the police station here in this county, letting you change and take care of a couple things.. Then we will fly back, so we can all get home and away from this place to try to get our lives back to normal.. or as normal as they can be.. Just give me a little more time but I swear I'm doing the best that I can, with what I am given." He explains to me as I give him a small smile and nod in understanding. He opens the door as he steps out, leaving me to be alone in this shell of a prison for who knows how much longer.