She Will Be Mine (New Horizon Book 2)

Chapter 29: Jason

Instead of retiling a kitchen, I spend my afternoon at Aly’s hanging out on the couch in her living room with Ronnie. Tyler eventually joins us, and he and Ronnie seem to have almost a sibling relationship, teasing and goofing off with each other the way I’ve always done with Sarah. I don’t think I’ve smiled and laughed that much in a really long time.

Aly invites me to stay for dinner, and how could I say no to that? Her mates are amazing cooks, especially Matt. He and Tyler are the ones who have been teaching me how to cook, and Tyler’s mom has even taught me some recipes for baked goods. So, I know that whatever is on the menu for tonight is likely to be the tastiest food I’ve put in my mouth all week.

Even if I expected the food to be terrible and practically inedible, I still would have said yes. It means more time with Ronnie, and it’s a great excuse to text to my mom to let her know why we’re not coming. How can she argue with the honor of eating at the Alpha’s table?

But argue she does, enough that I eventually shut my phone off so I can enjoy my dinner without interruption. Well, mostly. There are three toddlers at the table, and Garrett seems to be ready to fight me for attention from my mate. At one point, he even uses me to climb into Ronnie’s lap, shooting me a victorious smirk when he succeeds, and glaring at me when I try to take him from her after dinner is over.

“Garrett, we should let Aunt Ronnie have a break, buddy,” Tyler gently scolds him, coming around to retrieve him from us. “She’s going to hang out with Jay Jay, and you’re going to hang out with Daddy.”

“No, Ronnie,” he insists, though he says her name so it sounds more like “Wonny,” which is really cute.

“I’m going to go up to my room and go to bed, buddy,” Ronnie tells him, gently stroking his hair and kissing his forehead. “I’ll play with you tomorrow.”

“Okay,” he concedes tearfully. “Night night.”

He leans over to put a sloppy kiss on her cheek and then cuddles up against Tyler’s chest the way I saw him doing to Ronnie earlier.

“Night, buddy,” I add, patting his back and making sure he knows we’re still good, even if Finn might still be contemplating whether it’s okay to fight a two-year-old.

I reach for Ronnie’s hand, and she smiles, linking hers with mine. We didn’t discuss it ahead of time, but I get the impression that she might be inviting me to come upstairs to her room with her, since that’s where she just told Garrett she’s heading, and she hasn’t indicated that she wants me to leave yet. I’ll stay the entire night if she allows it, though I doubt she’s on board with that just yet.

She gives me an uncertain, questioning look and nods toward the stairs.

“Did you want to watch a movie in my room?” she asks surprisingly timidly, blushing and struggling to hold my gaze.

After the version of her she’s been showing me the past couple days, it’s a little surprising to see her reverting to her old ways, but it’s also kind of heartwarming. It reminds me of the shy, blushing beauty I fell for at first sight.

“I’d love to,” I eagerly agree, giving her hand a squeeze.

She turns and leads me up the stairs, her body bending and swaying in a way I’m quite enjoying. When we get to her room, she pauses just inside the door and seems to be uncertain about how to proceed.

“I’ve never had a boy in my room,” she confesses, laughing nervously.

“I can’t say I’m sorry to hear that,” I quip, enjoying when she blushes again. “But we’ve basically done this before. Looks like the bed has the best view of the TV, and we’ve done that before too.”

“Yeah, good point,” she agrees thoughtfully. “Just do me a favor and don’t look in the closet. That’s where all my stuff is, and I haven’t had a chance to get it all organized yet.”

“Okay. Go sit on the bed and get comfortable, and I’m gonna look in your closet.”

“Wait, what?” She c***s her head at me, trying to decide whether I’m serious or not.

“You heard me. Go.” I grin at her teasingly, gesturing at the bed.

To my surprise, she does head over and climb up on the bed. I’m only half-serious about looking in her closet, but if she’s going to let me, then I’m not passing up the opportunity. I’m curious about her stuff, but mostly I thought it might help make her more comfortable if I just get that out of the way.

She’s worried about me looking in there and seeing the mess? Nothing to worry about if I’ve already seen it. At least, that’s how it makes sense in my head, but I’m making it up as I go. I just don’t want her being distracted all night, fretting about me somehow accidentally seeing inside her closet.

I walk over to what I assume is the closet door and glance back at her, judging her reaction. She seems nervous, but she’s not protesting.

“I’m going to open this door unless you tell me not to,” I tell her, still watching for how she reacts.

“I already told you not to,” she reminds me, but she looks amused.

“I mean tell me again. The first time doesn’t count because it was just your discomfort talking. If I look in here, then there’s nothing left to worry about, right?”

She c***s her head again, seeming to think that over.

“That’s actually kind of clever,” she agrees after a moment. “Yeah, okay. Do it. I’m ready.”

I’m pretty sure she just literally, physically braced herself for me to do this. I watched her tense her muscles and put both hands flat on the bed on either side of her. The idea of me seeing her mess must really bother her.

“Here goes,” I announce, looking back at her one last time. She nods, and I grab the doorknob and open it.

I’m actually a little disappointed by the “mess” I find. Sure, I would have expected it to be neater because it’s Ronnie’s, but I’ve seen much worse. I think she might get physically ill if she ever saw inside Brian’s closets, for instance. I think the messiest thing about it is that it looks like she’s sorting through some stuff and hasn’t put it all away yet. It’s an organized mess, basically.

“This is kind of underwhelming compared to what I was picturing in my head,” I call out, knowing she can hear me out in the bedroom since I left the door open.

“Sorry?” she mock apologizes, and I hear her laugh. Mission accomplished.

My eyes scan over the various shelves and surfaces and linger on some penguin figurines that almost look like she has them not only organized, but on display. A closet seems an odd place to display things. Might be worth asking her about. I bet those are important to her.

I don’t spend much time in her closet, not wanting her to sit out there worrying about me being in here and what I’m thinking, or what her “mess” might say about her. It says a lot, actually, but probably not what she fears.

When I come back out, she’s sitting frozen and tense on the bed, looking at me expectantly.

“Just looks like a closet,” I give my verdict. “In a lot of ways, it’s more organized than most. I mean yeah, I can see that you’re still working on putting things away, but it’s rather neat, considering.”

I watch her exhale the breath she must have been holding, though it was subtle. If I didn’t have werewolf senses, and if I wasn't watching and studying her closely, I probably wouldn’t have noticed. What she said earlier about her anxiety still being an issue though she’s learned to fight it back better, I’m seeing it now. It doesn’t change the fact that she’s come so far. It’s incredible how much more in control she seems to be now.

“Is it okay if I come and join you?” I ask, making sure I’m welcome after I’ve just made her so uncomfortable. Invading her closet I’ll do, but not her personal space. Not without permission.

“Yeah,” she smiles, patting the spot next to her.

I make sure to leave a little space between us just like I did the last time we sat on a bed together, but even so, it’s just nice to be this close to her again. And this bed is way more comfortable than the one in that motel room. Maybe a little too comfortable.

As much as I want to soak in every single moment I can, it’s me who’s drifting off not very far into our movie this time. I didn’t sleep much at all last night. I was on the phone with Ronnie until late, and then my mind was racing and thinking so much that it was only an hour or so before I had to get up for training that I finally drifted off. Sunday training isn’t mandatory, but I always go. I’d have skipped it if I’d known this was where my day was headed though.

A little while later I feel her moving around, and my eyes pop open. I’m still in the same spot, but she’s standing next to her side of the bed, working on pulling back the covers. When my sleepy eyes focus on her a little better, I realize she changed into her pajamas. They’re cute, a pale blue with penguins all over them.

“Do you have a thing for penguins?” I can’t help asking, remembering all the figurines I saw in her closet a bit ago.

“Yeah, kind of,” she admits, blushing. I don’t know how I’m just now learning about this, but I love it. I also want to know more about her fascination with penguins, sometime when I’m not so dead tired and can carry on an actual conversation with her.

“Sorry, I was just going to leave you there and crawl in under the covers,” she adds. “I didn’t mean to wake you. You seem exhausted.”

“Yeah, I barely slept last night. But it’s okay. I’m glad I got to see this,” I gesture to her pajamas.

She smiles, looking a little embarrassed, but surprises me with how quickly she grabs her pillow and flings it at my face.

“Shut up. They’re comfy.”

“I’m not making fun of them. I approve,” I laugh, handing her pillow back to her.

She takes it and very carefully places it back in its spot, gingerly smoothing out the pillowcase. I don’t get the sense that she’s fussing over it because it bothers her, but rather because I’m bothering her. I suppose it’s time to go then.

“You don’t snore,” she says, chewing her bottom lip thoughtfully. “Not this time and not before either.”

“I get the notion that snoring is significant in some way I’m not understanding.”

“I can’t stand the sound of it. I can’t sleep if someone is snoring,” she explains, though I’m still confused. “And it’s gross. Sometimes it makes me nauseous.”

“You said I don’t snore though?”

“Yeah,” she sighs, still seeming troubled.

I think she might be trying to talk herself into letting me stay, but I don't like how much it seems to bother her. I don't think she's ready.

“Ronnie, I can just go,” I assure her.

“Yeah,” she sighs again, though it sounds a little different.

Something tells me that when it’s time for us to spend a night together, it won’t be this hard for her. And that tells me that tonight is not the night. It seems promising that she’s considering it though.

I sit up and push myself off the bed, standing and stretching a bit. She’s still clutching a corner of the bedding as she watches me.

“Sorry I crashed out on our movie, but I’ll be sure to make some time to get together with you again soon, okay?” I promise her. “And text me anytime, with the disclaimer that weekdays are busy for me. I might not get right back to you.”

She smiles, shaking her head a little when she says, “I will never again freak out about you not responding to my texts. I still feel bad about that, not to mention embarrassed. Not my best moment.”

She’s across the bed from me, but I hold my hand out to her anyway. I don’t have a specific idea of what she is supposed to do with it, but I’m tired and I want her, so I only hope she’ll do something. She hurries around the bed to me and grabs both my hands. Yeah, I’ll take that.

I raise both sets of our linked hands and kiss each of hers in turn.

“That’s all behind us, and I wasn’t meaning to imply anything,” I assure her. “But I am glad to hear that.”

She smiles at me, but it’s a troubled smile. And then she's quiet, chewing her bottom lip and avoiding looking at me.

I’m about to ask her what’s wrong when she looks down at our hands and whispers, “Need mine.”

“What?” I ask stupidly, but Finn knows exactly what she means.

I feel an overwhelming urge to hug her come over me, and I know it’s him nudging me without forcing it. He doesn’t do that often, so it’s still a strange and exciting experience for me. Even more so when I realize he might be right.

“You sure?” I ask her next, though it takes every ounce of my willpower to hold back like that.

“Yeah,” she says softly, already starting to lean toward me as if she’s fighting her own internal battle.

I give in, dropping her hands and wrapping my arms around her, pulling her against me but trying not to squeeze her too tightly. The sensations from having so much of her pressed against me are overwhelming for a few seconds, but in a good way. I remember it from the night before, though it was Finn in control then. It didn’t feel quite like this.

It’s such a relief, so much so that I find myself fighting back tears. Ronnie has her face buried in my chest, but I think she might actually be crying.

“You okay?” I ask softly.

“Yeah,” she answers, though her voice sounds thick from crying.

I feel her start to pull back after a while, and I release my hold on her, as much as I don’t want to. I’d sleep right here standing and holding her the whole night if she’d let me.

“Thank you,” I tell her, grateful that she allowed me those few minutes with her in my arms. “I needed that.”

“So did I. That’s why I was the one that asked for it,” she laughs softly.

We stand there just looking at each other for a few seconds until I grab for her hand again and bring it to my lips one last time, for this night anyway.

“I’m completely beat, Ronnie, so I think I’m going to head home. But I hope you have a good night.”

“You too.”

She’s the one who squeezes my hand this time before letting it go, and then I turn and exit her room, reluctantly making my way down the hall. I know it’s the right thing to do, but I really don’t want to leave her. I think if I had asked, she might have told me I could stay. She did seem to be trying to talk herself into it for a minute there, and I think she was as torn up about having to say goodbye as I am.

But I don’t want to push her. She wasn’t ready for our last sleepover either and look how that turned out. It takes some mental coaching, but I eventually manage to convince myself that there’s no rush. I saw all the stuff in her closet that she brought with her. She intends to be here a while, and I intend to make the most of it.